Which would you rather.....19yo vaping issue

[Tap]

A 19yo, very motivated college student, graduated high school with honors, has a job and a big future ahead of them.

 

Would you rather....

 

Know they are vaping tobacco flavored liquid/ with or without nicotine (legal at 18 in our state)

or 

Know they are vaping marijuana (legal at 21 in our state)

 

 

 

The issue I am considering, is whether I would rather 

 

Assume they are using it for flavored nicotine or non-nicotine product , which is legal. but most likely addicting and can be a daily life long habit.  (DH ad I are  former smokers, immediate family has died from lung cancer, my husband used to work in tobacco, my family is full of life long smokers....we know the risk and life style all too well LOL)

 

Assume they are using for marijuana, which is legal for over 21, which they are not, but not something police monitor unless there is a problem/complaint. Knowing that it can be habit forming but not typically a daily habit type thing for most people.  (I work in pharmacy, so I promise you, I am not ignorant of addiction issues)

 

Since it is legal for over 21, you smell marijuana in outdoor spaces or around homes all the time. It is very, very common and unless there is someone causing trouble or obviously, very underage, the police just ignore it. The legal risk, is very, very low.  It doesn't have the stigma in our state that it used to before legalization. But....it does have the 'high' that tobacco doesn't.

 

We will just have to assume they are using one of the two, because there are too many other options to really make this a brief, viable poll. 

 

All of this has left me with a question, that I can't answer....which is better/worse for a 19yo.  flavored nicotine/ non-nicotine alternatives or pot?  

 

This question is not 'what would you allow"....but specifically "what would you prefer" they do.

 

 

(edited to change tobacco to tobacco flavored nicotine)

Edited June 25, 2017 by Tap

[Epicurean]

What's wrong with marijuana? The only proven negative side effects are associated with smoking it, not vaping. If the legal risk is low, I don't see a problem with it. I see it the same as an adult having a glass or two of wine with dinner. As long as they're being discreet, I don't think it's a big deal.

 

I say this as someone with chronic pain who has never tried it because it's legally very high risk in my state. But if I lived in Colorado or somewhere, I'd probably use marijuana everyday, if it's analgesic properties are to be believed.

[eternalsummer]

marijuana, obviously

 

I have known addicts of both, and the nicotine addicts are, generally speaking, in worse health and more strongly addicted (that is, their withdrawal symptoms are worse and quitting seems to be much harder); furthermore, marijuana is much less likely to be a long-term habit than nicotine.

[Mergath]

Vaping anything isn't great for your health. The particulates in the vape can irritate the lungs, and there aren't enough studies yet to know what the long-term damage might be, though it's certainly much less than smoking cigarettes.

 

With that said, from both a moral and a health viewpoint, vaping nicotine or marijuana seem roughly equivalent to me. The best option, obviously, would be if the person is vaping one of the nicotine free alternatives, but I wouldn't shun someone for any of the options as long as they don't do it around me, since we also don't know what the effects of breathing it in secondhand are yet.

[Melissa in Australia]

Zero tolerance

[kroe1]

Zero tolerance. When DS37 started smoking cigarettes at age 18, he was kicked out of the house. I think he lived under a bush for awhile. No contact with him at all for over a year until he came to his senses and wanted the comfort of mom's wallet to help him go to college. I needed a nanny so it worked out beautifully. Bottom line, learning that family is not going to tolerate self destruction was the greatest thing that could have happened to him...and us. He is now an ER physician. It was a tough time for me as a mom, but, my son knowing he would have to be a non smoker to have a family was worth every aching moment of my heart. I cannot even imagine how awful his life would be if he still smoked.

 

No matter what is in the vaporizer, it could not be healthier than plain air. Even if one had nothing in one, heating up a battery and a glass tube while inhaling does not seem safe to me. I do not have to wait on any studies to think that one through. Losing someone close to me over a self destructive addiction does not bother me one bit either. I sure do not want to witness the downfall.

[abba12]

my son knowing he would have to be a non smoker to have a family was worth every aching moment of my heart.

 

Losing someone close to me over a self destructive addiction does not bother me one bit either. I sure do not want to witness the downfall.

 

Just... wow....

 

I have nothing nice to say about this.

[LMD]

nicotine.

 

I'm sorry, I know that mj is so popular and the myth that it's safe prevails, but it is a mind altering drug that potentially triggers other mental health issues. if he's vaping it illegally, then I presume it's not a safe and controlled amount with low thc, prescribed for an actual condition. So I would be more worried about the addictive habits and brain damage that taking an illegal drug, for the high, creates.

 

I have known too many stoners. it's not so fun anymore when your brain is on the fritz at 60.

[TravelingChris]

Vaping nicotine is better than vaping marijuana if you want to stay as an honor student. Nicotine is a stimulant so enhances work. Marijuana is a depressant so diminishes work. Altogether, inhaling hot vapors is not good for anyone and their is the strong risk of lung disease. I wouldn't allow scented vapes anywhere near me due to allergies/asthma in me and other family members.

[bettyandbob]

My rule would be not in my house, not on my property. And supplies would have to be kept away from the house.

 

There are problems with both. I hate that caping has turned into a fashion. I know people who used vaping successfully to quit smoking. I wish it had stayed a nice tool to end addiction, but it's become a thing now. Anyway, I won't support either option, but with a 19 yo I can't stop what they do away from home.

 

ETA why is not allowing the act of vaping in my house shunning/ostracizing. I don't allow smoking by anyone in my house so I'm not sure why I'd allow vaping.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Diana P.

[SparklyUnicorn]

the marijuana (hopefully something done occasionally)

 

I'd prefer neither, but I think tobacco is disgusting and horrible for health.  Pot isn't so great, but if not done all the time probably not nearly as bad.

 

and not in my house

 

 

[Joyofsixreboot]

I would ask my kid. Express my concerns and then shut up because they are 19. *I know this is very hard. Do it anyway.

 

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[Scarlett]

nicotine.

 

I'm sorry, I know that mj is so popular and the myth that it's safe prevails, but it is a mind altering drug that potentially triggers other mental health issues. if he's vaping it illegally, then I presume it's not a safe and controlled amount with low thc, prescribed for an actual condition. So I would be more worried about the addictive habits and brain damage that taking an illegal drug, for the high, creates.

 

I have known too many stoners. it's not so fun anymore when your brain is on the fritz at 60.

This.

[athomeontheprairie]

I would ask my kid. Express my concerns and then shut up because they are 19. *I know this is very hard. Do it anyway.

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk

This. Id want the truth not a "hope"

[SparklyUnicorn]

nicotine.

 

I'm sorry, I know that mj is so popular and the myth that it's safe prevails, but it is a mind altering drug that potentially triggers other mental health issues. if he's vaping it illegally, then I presume it's not a safe and controlled amount with low thc, prescribed for an actual condition. So I would be more worried about the addictive habits and brain damage that taking an illegal drug, for the high, creates.

 

I have known too many stoners. it's not so fun anymore when your brain is on the fritz at 60.

 

Yeah I knew some myself and it was pretty bad.  I'm not a fan. 

 

But cigs..just disgust me.  I grew up with a chain smoking mother and the thought just kinda puts me in a rage.  My sister started at 13 in large part because my mother enabled and encouraged it.  She still smokes (late 30s) and her health is very bad no doubt in part because of it.

[Scarlett]

I chose number three because although it would devastate me I have zero tolerance for inhaling either one. I can not tolerate the smells that linger or anything. I can barely stand to walk through the parking lot at Wal Mart....

 

I believe our kids grow up and make their own choices but sometimes that choice means mom can't stand to be near you. And it is hardly an unreasonable thing.....hey don't start this nasty, self destructive habit that is repulsive to your mom.

[ktgrok]

I put nicotine/non nicotine, because non nicotine would be my preferred choice as it would be easiest to quit and least likely to be a habit. I WOULD want them to quit due to popcorn lung. But it would be the least likely to be habit forming so easiest to stop. 

 

Second choice would be pot. Less addictive than nicotine. Also there is the possibility it has been prescribed for something and the patient is under a doctor's care. 

 

Third choice would be nicotine. 

 

I agree with whomever said they hate vaping as a fad. Ugh. 

 

 

Edited June 25, 2017 by ktgrok

[Lizzie in Ma]

Well, vape liquid can have nicotine, but it isn't tobacco.

 

This is one of the few non-biased articles I have read lately.

http://scienceblog.cancerresearchuk.org/2017/02/06/new-study-comes-the-closest-yet-to-proving-that-e-cigarettes-arent-as-dangerous-as-smoking/

 

This is an excellent article on nicotine and and of itself

http://discovermagazine.com/2014/march/13-nicotine-fix

 

Take them for what they are worth.

 

Found out our youngest had been smoking the occasional cigarette yesterday.

Went out and bought her a selection of ecigs, Blue which had only 2.4 mg of nicotine.

I would much rather she vape than smoke.

 

Full disclosure, I vape, have for years.Have no intention of giving it up.  Been doing it way before it was a fad. I quit smoking many years ago, but always missed it.  Vaping was the choice I made to not go back to smoking in times of stress. 

 

Regarding marijuana, as it absolutely has negative effects on a developing brain, which, at 19, he may be past, I am not a fan.  Knew a lot of stoners in college. 

That having been said, I have no issues with cbd oil for medicinal purposes.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Lizzie in Ma

[LMD]

Yeah I knew some myself and it was pretty bad. I'm not a fan.

 

But cigs..just disgust me. I grew up with a chain smoking mother and the thought just kinda puts me in a rage. My sister started at 13 in large part because my mother enabled and encouraged it. She still smokes (late 30s) and her health is very bad no doubt in part because of it.

I get it, I do. When I was a teenager we moved house. We took our pictures off the walls and realized that the walls were not supposed to be that colour. They were stained yellow from cigarettes. My mother nursed her father to his death from emphysema. Still smoked. I am quite sure that all my childhood exposure would mean that I could very easily become addicted, heck, I do occasionally crave a smoke, even though I haven't had any for well over a decade and even then only a handful of times.

 

But the real damage that mj can cause and trigger in the brain is more scary to me. Because if my kid is genetically unlucky, there's no way to close that door...

[maize]

I'm going with tobacco unless the young person never drives. Marijuana related driving accidents are on the rise in my area.

 

The addictiveness of nicotine is frightening though.

[maize]

I'm also aware of too many cases where marijuana served as a gateway drug and more dangerous substances soon followed.

[Ailaena]

 

I hate that we are normalizing public intoxication and driving while high. I have very little patience for dealing with people who are high or drunk. And it's not ok to drive while high or drunk. Ever.

 

As for my adult child, I cannot and do not want to control her life. I can only offer her my opinions (with which she may disagree), hope she makes thoughtful choices, and give her my unconditional love and support, always. She is family, she is my child, if I had to visit her in rehab, or the hospital, or prison, I would be there for her if she wanted me.

 

That said, no smoking/vaping in my house, or near my open windows, though. And don't try to come have conversations with me when you're l high. And it's rude as hell to show up blitzed for dinner.

[lavender's green]

I'd say, not on my property, and none of my business. I plan to back off parenting in that sorta-adult stage. But before they're that age they're going to hear all about my relatives who orphaned their children because of their cigarette habits, and my friends who fried their brains or developed psychosis before age 30 because of their marijuana habits.

[Soror]

None of the above would be my preference but I don't expect I can control the actions of my children once they are adults.

 

I would not allow any of the above in my house or vehicles, I find it all disgusting.

 

I'm not sure what I'd encourage them to do if I had a choice, I guess I'd pick vaping with non-nicotine liquid, although I do not think that is without its own risks.

[Tanaqui]

What adults do is their business, so long as they're only harming themselves. If they're not using my money or doing it on my property, or near me, then it's their life, their body, and their choice.

[Tap]

I'd say, not on my property, and none of my business. I plan to back off parenting in that sorta-adult stage. But before they're that age they're going to hear all about my relatives who orphaned their children because of their cigarette habits, and my friends who fried their brains or developed psychosis before age 30 because of their marijuana habits.

 

 

None of the above would be my preference but I don't expect I can control the actions of my children once they are adults.

 

I would not allow any of the above in my house or vehicles, I find it all disgusting.

 

I'm not sure what I'd encourage them to do if I had a choice, I guess I'd pick vaping with non-nicotine liquid, although I do not think that is without its own risks.

It isn't about what you would allow......it is about what you would prefer they were doing.   

[Tap]

My rule would be not in my house, not on my property. And supplies would have to be kept away from the house.

 

There are problems with both. I hate that caping has turned into a fashion. I know people who used vaping successfully to quit smoking. I wish it had stayed a nice tool to end addiction, but it's become a thing now. Anyway, I won't support either option, but with a 19 yo I can't stop what they do away from home.

 

ETA why is not allowing the act of vaping in my house shunning/ostracizing. I don't allow smoking by anyone in my house so I'm not sure why I'd allow vaping.

I guess because the way I see it.....

 

I am asking about what you would prefer, not allow a 19yo to do.  It was designed as an either/ or question.  If I made a middle ground option, then that would make the poll ineffective for this purpose.  I put in another option for people who are very polarized on the issue as a whole, but choosing this option has a consequence.

[lavender's green]

It isn't about what you would allow......it is about what you would prefer they were doing.   

 

I know. I have no preference. That's why I said "none of my business."

 

[Bluegoat]

Not really any of the above.

 

I wouldn't say zero tolerance, because at 19, I don't actually think that is much of an option.  You could say, not in your house, or even, you can't live here if you do that.  The question is, how serious is it?

 

As far as mj vs nicotine, I think it depends.  I don't think, health wise, putting either in your lungs is great.  I think nicotine is more often a daily habit, and occasional, esp social mj use is not usually a problem. 

 

But on the other handI think regular, especially daily, mj use is a bigger problem simply because of the way it affects consciousness - like someone who feels the need to get buzzed every night or at every weekend party.  I don't think it bodes well for mental state or coping and is a bigger risk for addiction.  I've seen both nicotine and mj addiction in my family, and I think the second is worse.

 

  I'd also have concerns about a 19 year old and its brain effects a little more serious than I would for nicotine, or even moderate alcohol use.

 

The fact that someone was vaping rather than smoking, if they actually owned the paraphernalia for doing it, would suggest to me it was most likely something fairly regular - for very occasional use it makes sense to smoke, from a cost perspective.

[Lecka]

Well I wouldn't like either one! They both have potential health effects.

 

I feel like -- which is worse -- risking cancer, or risking possibly triggering mental illness.

 

They are both bad.

 

But if I have to choose -- I would choose nicotine as worse, because I think it is more addictive.

 

And I guess just knock on wood about the risks of triggering mental illness.

 

If there was any reason to think someone might be more susceptible to mental illness, I would say marijuana.

 

Edit: would I ostracize a loved one over it? No. I would personally disapprove, but I am someone who personally disapproves of a LOT of things and it doesn't mean I act on that disapproval when it comes to family members.

 

This doesn't cross a line for me where I would try to get really involved or consider limiting or stopping contact, especially if it wasn't done around me and I just knew about it generally.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Lecka

[elegantlion]

I'm also aware of too many cases where marijuana served as a gateway drug and more dangerous substances soon followed.

 

I've seen the same and I've known people that just stick with pot for all their lives. I wonder how much of the former is due to association with dealers and having to purchase illegally. If you want to smoke pot and can legally go to someplace set up more like a cigar shop than a place subject to raids by the DEA, then perhaps the gateway idea is not due to the drug but the manner in which it is acquired. 

 

As to the OP, I have mixed feelings. I smoked for years and quit long ago. I still crave a cigarette at times, when I see someone smoking but can't smell it, like on TV. I don't know enough about pot to judge whether I'd want my 19 year old doing it. If non-nicotine options were available, I'd prefer that route. 

[Farrar]

I can't choose based on this poll. Both have problems, neither is especially healthy. It's just that they have different issues associated with them. I'd be happy to talk to an adult child about why I think neither is a good choice. I'd probably lean toward thinking the mj is a slightly better choice... but my rule would be not in my house. However, this child is an adult, so what they do on their own time is their own choice. I also don't see how disapproving of both choices means ostracizing them. I think it's fine to say to an adult child, "I don't think you should do that, but it's your life," and - assuming you don't nag or harp on it - leave it at that. That's no ostracizing them. It's just saying, gee, that's not a great decision, but you get to make your own now. So, let's talk about something else.

[Ravin]

I would be more concerned about potential negative impact on brain development if vaping THC regularly under age 25.

[Bluegoat]

I think its the "zero tolerance" option that seems off here.  It seems to imply the parent can make it off limits, or is taking some action.

[Tap]

I think its the "zero tolerance" option that seems off here.  It seems to imply the parent can make it off limits, or is taking some action.

I did it on purpose. It is solely about what you would prefer if you only had two choices. 

[heartlikealion]

are they living at home? I'd have a low tolerance for any smoking (regular cigs, cloves, etc.) I don't know if I'd say zero, but definitely low. When smokers visit our home they have to smoke outside, but I would rather them not smoke at all because when people smoke it wafts indoors or clings to their clothing and hair. Living at home I think I might tougher. If they want to live at home then they have rules to follow. If it makes them feel shunned, then, well, it isn't any different than some other house rules people have.

 

I guess if they weren't doing anything after smoking, I might prefer the marijuana. I used to spend a lot of time around potheads and I know in general I didn't consider it a danger but if say someone has to drive they might drive really slowly. So I might question their soberness for lack of a better word.

[Valley Girl]

Can't answer with the choices provided. I don't "prefer" one over the other and don't honestly feel a choice is necessary. My "preference" is neither. Both are problematic. While I could not dictate what an adult child does, I can require that those substances and that activity not be brought into the house. If activity that is done outside the home creates problems at home, then it becomes a family issue and I would have much more to say about it.

[catz]

I can't pick any of the options.  Is this 19 year old living on my dime or at home?  That changes my answer.  I could see withdrawing financial support for poor life choices in a young adult though I would never shun or intentionally ostracize them.  I would just say it's time for us to move to a more adult relationship where you are managing your own affairs.  Smoking or vaping is not allowed in our home by anyone.

Edited June 25, 2017 by WoolySocks

[GinaPagnato]

I would *hate* the nicotine, but I wouldn't be able to tolerate the mj, so I voted number 1.

 

I wouldn't be able to ever ostracize one of my children, so option 3 is out.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

If the adult child was dependent on you financially then I would consider cutting them off financially maybe. I would at the very least cut off spending money. I would first try to reason with them since I know first hand how bad smoking is and how it really hurt my lungs and I how I barely quit smoking cigarettes:( But I am not sure this is the right answer anyway since I am still muddling my way through motherhood  :leaving:

[Guest]

Neither. Inhaling particulates creates health problems. If they are on their own health insurance and living away from my home, its their decision. Otherwise, my house,my health insurance cost, my rules.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Heigh Ho

[nixpix5]

I am zero tolerance. I grew up watching extended family ruin their lives due to both of these substances. Lost a brother at 21 from driving high on marijuana and lost my dad to his cigarette habit. No way, not in my house, not ever.

 

My two oldest in there 20s now grew up under my no tolerance regime. They had friends who used but they chose not to. One son still jokes that when he was 15 he thought about trying it but he was too scared that I would know instantly when he came home haha :) One son called me to pick him up from a Halloween party that parents were present because they were allowing use.

 

Both of my sons joined a high school group that presented to middle schoolers about the harmful effects of nicotine.

 

I say this because it is a fallacy that a zero tolerance will shut down communication with your kid. I have seen so many parents "accept" use out of this fear. My sons, to this day, come over weekly and tell me everything that is going on in their lives. We are a close and open family. The zero tolerance needs to be done with love and continual education as to why you hold those beliefs.

Edited June 25, 2017 by nixpix5

[Farrar]

I did it on purpose. It is solely about what you would prefer if you only had two choices. 

 

But you don't have two choices. I don't think you have any choice at all. This is an adult. I don't think I can make this decision for a young adult. If they've decided to do it against parenting and health advice, then it's up to *them* to decide which risks they're more comfortable with. And as a parent, it's up to you to decide if you can live with it. Other than a couple of posters, I think nearly all of us could live with controlled, recreational drug use by adult children who are otherwise doing well, but we might put limits on it in our own homes, which is the only right we really have.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Farrar

[Farrar]

I am zero tolerance. I grew up watching extended family ruin their lives due to both of these substances. Lost a brother at 21 from driving high on marijuana and lost my dad to his cigarette habit. No way, not in my house, not ever.

 

My two oldest in there 20s now grew up under my no tolerance regime. They had friends who used but they chose not to. One son still jokes that when he was 15 he thought about trying it but he was too scared that I would know instantly when he came home haha :) One son called me to pick him up from a Halloween party that parents were present because they were allowing use.

 

Both of my sons joined a high school group that presented to middle schoolers about the harmful effects of nicotine.

 

I say this because it is a fallacy that a zero tolerance will shut down communication with your kid. I have seen so many parents "accept" use out of this fear. My sons, to this day, come over weekly and tell me everything that is going on in their lives. We are a close and open family. The zero tolerance needs to be done with love and continual education as to why you hold those beliefs.

 

So if the love and education didn't work, you would stop seeing an adult child for smoking or vaping? Cut them out of your life entirely, have zero contact, even if they didn't do it in your presence? You're out of the family, I'm done with you forever unless you change this? That attitude just seems shockingly harsh.

[Murphy101]

I think its the "zero tolerance" option that seems off here. It seems to imply the parent can make it off limits, or is taking some action.

Because I can. To some extent. I will not give one dime or one minute of my time to it. So live somewhere else and find another way to pay for everything.

 

They can choose to move out bc they would rather choose to smoke/vap whatever. That's their choice. But I choose to not have it on my property or around any of my other children or myself. To those living here, if they can afford to vap, they can afford to move out.

 

This applies to more than my children. People who smoke or vape don't do so on my property or around my children. My in laws were told we wouldn't visit or let the grandchildren visit if he was doing it. Blablahblah but he should be able to do anything he wants in his own home. Well he can. But we won't be there if he does it.

[Guest]

My inlaws had to choose. Illegal and/or stupid behavior or extended family. Their choice, it isn't going to happen on my land and if they do it elsewhere, I am not staying. It takes a village to reign in stupid before the cost is high. I am up to it.if they choose to be legal and not stupid I will stay, or if they are at my place, they won't be told to leave.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Heigh Ho

[Farrar]

Because I can. To some extent. I will not give one dime or one minute of my time to it. So live somewhere else and find another way to pay for everything.

 

They can choose to move out bc they would rather choose to smoke/vap whatever. That's their choice. But I choose to not have it on my property or around any of my other children or myself. To those living here, if they can afford to vap, they can afford to move out.

 

This applies to more than my children. People who smoke or vape don't do so on my property or around my children. My in laws were told we wouldn't visit or let the grandchildren visit if he was doing it. Blablahblah but he should be able to do anything he wants in his own home. Well he can. But we won't be there if he does it.

 

This attitude would be too harsh for me personally... but I also don't see it as being the same as ostracizing a child entirely as the poll phrasing for "no tolerance" implies. I won't pay for you to live here while you're vaping is different from you're out of my life entirely until this stops. It's also "no tolerance" for my money and my space, not no tolerance for you the person if you choose that ever.

[Catwoman]

I think there should be a poll option for being 100% against both options and not allowing any vaping in your home under any circumstances.

 

Not approving of something and not allowing it in your home doesn't have to equal "shunning" the kid.

 

If it was my kid, I wouldn't offer a preference. He would know I was against both options. Obviously, he would ultimately make his own choices, but I would certainly not express any form of approval or acceptance of what he was doing. He would know I thought he would be making a terrible decision.

[Murphy101]

This attitude would be too harsh for me personally... but I also don't see it as being the same as ostracizing a child entirely as the poll phrasing for "no tolerance" implies. I won't pay for you to live here while you're vaping is different from you're out of my life entirely until this stops. It's also "no tolerance" for my money and my space, not no tolerance for you the person if you choose that ever.

Idk. Apparently it's perceived as the same to those who choose the drugs over the relationships. I've seen that time and again. I guess I could still talk to them in the phone. But if they can't handle going 20 minutes without a hit (which I have seen plenty of) then for most intents, they have completely cut themselves off from anyone who won't tolerate it.

 

But I came back to this bread bc I wanted to note that while my stance wouldn't change about to the two choices given my stance would be coupled with DEEP CONCERN about why they feeling a need to self medicate at all. All demographics can fall into the self medication trap if they don't have people and or resources to seek healthier options. The OP mentions grades and such which I always find to be odd and irrelevant. They could be a rhode scholar and gainfully employees and my stance wouldn't change. They could be flunking and unemployed and my stance wouldn't change. But neither would my concern and effort to explore why they are seeking these things at all. I think this aspect would upset me for more than the symptom of vaping itself.

Edited June 25, 2017 by Murphy101

[Lecka]

I have a young-20s relative who smokes. I am disappointed. I wouldn't be around her while she was smoking (nor would she smoke around me). I know at holidays she leaves on a pretense (taking the dog out, even taking out the trash), and comes back smelling like smoke.

 

I don't see how I can ostracize her over this. In theory I would, bc I have a strong personal dislike and disapproval of it.

 

But in practice I don't think it's my business and she is respectful in keeping it out of view.

 

Some relatives don't think she should be allowed to stay in the family home over this, when she visits at Christmas, and really take her mom to task over it.

 

I think it is not worth not letting her sleep in the house at Christmastime.

 

I don't think I know all the details -- but just bc everybody can tell she leaves and comes back smelling like cigarette smoke -- well I don't think that is grounds to be so harsh.