Poor People and High Level Jobs

[Frances]

As for the Miss Manners observation, I'm thinking she attended college back when it was reasonably affordable. I would guess that most middle class parents today are struggling just to pay their expected contribution and I can't imagine many having enough to do that and give spending money, unless their child is receiving major scholarships.

 

That's not to say that I didn't see huge differences, both when we were in grad school and when my son was in undergrad and how students handled money, jobs, and debt. In my experience, though, it crosses income lines. There are people good and bad at both it and delayed gratification. The wealthiest students at my son's college were driving cars worth well over $100k, courtesy of mom and dad. The wealthiest person I knew in undergrad had a credit card from her parents, and I was with her once when she couldn't purchase an item due to exceeding the spend limit. But she's still wealthy today because she's running the successful funeral home business her grandfather started.

[Murphy101]

Delayed gratification is .... debatable. The wealthy don't have to delay their gratification over anything they really want or need, so big dang deal if they wait.

 

Most low income people don't have problems with delayed gratification. They spend most of their life waiting for their chance to have even a tenth of what the wealthy take for granted, so when such an opportunity presents - yes, they tend to snap it up while they can and I don't much fault them for it.

 

Delaying gratification for something you know you are highly likely to not really need or miss out on if you wait isn't some major character trait in my opinion.

 

And doing so on things we actually can't afford to do without on just for the sake of it seems foolish to me.

[creekland]

Miss Manners made an observation, many years ago, . . . she attended Vassar? - anyway - the rich kids she knew had NO spending money provided by mom and dad.  .. . if they wanted money, they had to have a part time job, or they'd borrow it from their middle class friends - who had lots of spending money regularly provided by parents.

 

Her experience is the exact opposite of what I experienced when I was in college in the 80s and what my boys have seen in their college experiences in the recent past and now.  The rich kids don't have college jobs.  There's probably an exception or two, but not many.  They're the ones who paid my middle son up to $80/hour for tutoring.  Middle class and full need scholarship kids had the jobs - and used free tutoring paid for by the college if they needed it.

 

Rich kids had fancy cars.  One even wrecked his on a trip home and had a brand new one before the weekend was over - paid for by dad.  I'm sure insurance would have reimbursed some too, but not in time to get his new one to return with.  Middle class and full need scholarship kids have the 10+ year old cars and/or use public transportation.

 

As to your earlier parts of this post - wanting the house, car, etc, I know with my own kids we had to literally teach them that we didn't start out with all we have now.  They don't know that because they weren't around in our early college and married days.  They weren't watching as we built what we have.  Parents need to teach this to their kids - not assume they will "naturally" get it. It's like anything else we teach about life.  My guys are doing well... occasionally we supplement to help them out, but so did my parents (and in-laws).  There's no need for them to "sink" in order to learn to swim as long as they are actually learning to swim.

[Murphy101]

Most of my sons' college classmates have NEVER had a job. Of those who have, it is only summer fun money. My boys are some of the select few who have worked during the semesters.

Edited June 26, 2017 by Murphy101

[FaithManor]

Her experience is the exact opposite of what I experienced when I was in college in the 80s and what my boys have seen in their college experiences in the recent past and now. The rich kids don't have college jobs. There's probably an exception or two, but not many. They're the ones who paid my middle son up to $80/hour for tutoring. Middle class and full need scholarship kids had the jobs - and used free tutoring paid for by the college if they needed it.

 

Rich kids had fancy cars. One even wrecked his on a trip home and had a brand new one before the weekend was over - paid for by dad. I'm sure insurance would have reimbursed some too, but not in time to get his new one to return with. Middle class and full need scholarship kids have the 10+ year old cars and/or use public transportation.

 

As to your earlier parts of this post - wanting the house, car, etc, I know with my own kids we had to literally teach them that we didn't start out with all we have now. They don't know that because they weren't around in our early college and married days. They weren't watching as we built what we have. Parents need to teach this to their kids - not assume they will "naturally" get it. It's like anything else we teach about life. My guys are doing well... occasionally we supplement to help them out, but so did my parents (and in-laws). There's no need for them to "sink" in order to learn to swim as long as they are actually learning to swim.

Snicker snicker...just thinking about my cousin getting $40 an hour for ironing when a certain cheerleading squad from a certain IVY rolled in for an away game.

 

I very much agree though, they do not need to drown in order to learn the crawl.