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Reality of owning a dog?


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My family REALLY wants a dog.

 

I'm gradually thinking about it. I had one when I was a child but we just opened the door to let it go to the bathroom (not walked often as it seemed to escape a lot). I did play with it and bathe it. But that was decades ago. I'm wanting an adult view of the work a dog requires.

 

How many walks a day to go to the bathroom and how many longer walks for exercise? How often to bathe (if it's mostly indoors?). How dirty will my house get beyond what it is now? How expensive are they? How often are vet visits?

 

I definitely don't want one until we are ready. We will not be ready until DS can mostly care for it himself, with some parental help. How old does a child need to be to take care of a high need pet like a dog? We would also choose an easy, quiet, low fur, family friendly dog, as much as possible (we get pets from the humane society or local shelters).

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We have an easy dog.  She's about spaniel sized.  We let her out into the garden several times a day.  We walk her for about two miles once a day, longer at weekends.  When she comes in muddy, we roughly towel her off and then leave her in the kitchen until she's dry - we probably sweep more dirt off the kitchen floor than before, but she compensates by licking up crumbs.  She has a checkup and jabs once a year; we have to drop in urine samples every three months, because she's prone to bladder stones, but that's it.  On average, she sees the vet twice a year, including the checkup.  I brush her teeth most nights because she is very prone to decay (even if given rough things to chew).  She is a non-shedding dog (poodle-type fur) so the house doesn't get hairy; on the other hand, I have to deal with the fur matting if I don't brush it frequently enough.  I wash and clip her about once every six weeks.  My sons could have done most of the work at age 10 easily - younger might depend on the child.

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It's a lot of work. We got a dog about three years ago. It was the first dog for me and dh. 

 

When she was a puppy we walked her at least 1 long (45-60 min) walks a day, plus 2 shorter walks, each about 20-40 min. We have a fairly large yard where she can run and play so she also got a lot of exercise out there and can go in the yard for short bathroom breaks. If we walked her less than 2 long walks or 3 medium walks a day we would find that she would not sleep well or would "misbehave" from boredom. Now that she is older (3 1/2) we walk her one long walk a day in the morning. In nicer weather we go on a medium walk in the evening as a family. If we haven't been home much and she hasn't had as much outdoor time I will walk her again at night. Otherwise, she gets enough exercise in our yard. 

 

We don't bathe her that often. It depends on the weather and how dirty she gets. It's also much easier to bathe her outdoors so we do it more often in the summer than in the winter. I'd still say no more than once a month. I think most people do it more often. 

 

Our house is definitely MUCH dirtier than before. I sweep or vacuum daily. She is a shedder so that is part of it but it's also just dirt brought in from being outside. We take our shoes off in the house so we were used to fairly clean floors. Now she brings in stuff every day. It's not a huge deal but I think I wasn't prepared for how much hair and dirt there would be. 

 

We have been lucky and only taken her yearly for vet visits. She really hates having her nails clipped so I take her to the vet also for that but I think other dogs could go to a groomer or be done at home. Even that is not very often as she seems to wear her nails down naturally being walked on sidewalks and digging. I used to take her and have the vet say she doesn't need it so I've started going less often. 

 

Expensive. Vet bills for us have been about $500-600 a year just for preventative stuff (vaccines, heartworm meds, flea/tick prevention, etc). Food is probably about $500 a year and we don't buy the super expensive kind. 

 

I would not get a dog unless you are ready and willing to do most/all of the care yourself. You think the kids can help but even as they get older the reality is that it falls on the parent. My 13 year old is much more helpful but he's also a normal busy kid. I'm not going to make him wake up at 5:45 every day to walk her, which is when she gets up. If he's busy with schoolwork or Scouts or swimming or whatever the reality is that I'm the one who will care for her. It has gotten easier as she's gotten older. The kids can bathe her alone and I put them on "letting Roxy in and out of the house" duty all day. They feed her. For walking her, I only became comfortable in the past year or so in letting my oldest walk her without us. She's a good dog but we live in an area with a lot of dogs, bikers, walkers, etc. I didn't want him to be in a situation where something happened and he was alone. And even when they help ultimately, she is still something we are responsible for. Even extra things like arranging for care if we are out of the house longer for a day becomes an extra task. 

 

I think the two things I didn't anticipate about having a dog were training and the impact on lifestyle. I knew about both but didn't fully get it. 

 

We did not do a great job with training her but we lucked out by getting a pretty laid-back and easy dog. We knew her ahead of time (she was a rescue dog that friends were the foster family for). I just did not have the time to add intense training to everything else I was doing. Or to be honest, the inclination. We did one puppy training class and she knows a few commands. I read a tiny bit online (including threads here) and use She definitely obeys me the best. But I think it's like having a naturally obedient or easy kid....I know it's not really because of what we did and that we could have done more. If we had a dog with a different personality I think we could have had a problem. 

 

Lifestyle: When we first got her we couldn't leave the house for more than 4 hours at a time and that was pushing it. That was a HUGE change in lifestyle for us. I think I thought "hey, we're homeschoolers and kind of homebodies, it will be fine." And most of the time that is true but I forgot about things like, wanting to go out to lunch after church or going on a field trip to a museum. It was a new thing to have to run home to let the dog out or to plan our day around the dog. And we also felt like we had made a commitment to her so we didn't want to often leave her as we knew it wasn't fair to her, so we found ourselves making choices based on the dog. 

 

We also travel a fair amount and finding care when we are gone has been another issue that I didn't really think about. It's been ok but it's just another thing to factor in. 

 

All that said, I'm glad we have her. The kids love her and I see in many ways how it's good for them. I like her too, although I'm more of a cat person deep down (shh....don't tell Roxy). Our son is allergic to cats so we couldn't have them. She has made our family more active as we have taken some kind of walk every day for the past 3 years and that's not something we would have said before. She's sweet and is now a member of our family. 

 

 

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I would say that I am a bad dog mom according to the standards I've seen on here.

 

We don't walk our dog. Or bring him to the vet beyond the yearly check up. We feed him mid-grade food. We will not invest a ton of money into treating illnesses, cleaning teeth, etc.

 

Our chihuahua is 12. He's super low maintenance, acts mostly like a cat. We probably spend $120/yr on food, $300/yr on vet and flea treatment.

 

Our lab is 8. He is much higher maintenance than the little dog. He needs people around most of the day to let him in and out of the house. He runs around the yard and pretty much exercises himself, but that's unusual. His food is about $600/yr, vet $300. He sheds like a beast and the house definitely suffers for it.

 

One of the most overlooked issues with dogs is vacations. You have to either bring them, board them, or hire a pet sitter. All of that is a hassle. The chihuahua can easily come some places with us but the lab is impossible.

 

I'm going to say expecting a kid to be the one taking care of a dog is almost always a let down. They just don't have the executive function to care for a creature that requires so much attention. Even teens need another eye on things. I would only go into this if you are ready to do the work. That's not to say kids can't chip in, but you won't be able to just hand it over to them.

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The absolute best advice we received when we were in the "thinking about a dog" phase was, "Don't get a dog until *Mom really wants a dog."   (*"Mom" is defined as whichever parent is responsible for most of the childcare, cleaning, and other household chores in the home.   Until THAT parent is 100% on board with wanting a dog, don't get a dog.)

 

Adding a dog to a family is like adding a toddler.    If you are ready for that kind of commitment, you are ready.   As much as you think that your DS will be primarily responsible for dog care, YOU will be the one taking the dog to the vet, groomer, buying dog food, cleaning up messes, and ultimately making sure that the dog is fed, walked, and taken potty.   My kids are now 15 and 13 and could do 100% of the daily care by themselves if I wasn't able to do it, but they can't do anything that requires driving or costs money.   They were 11 and 9 when we got her, and at those ages, they couldn't really handle all of the daily stuff without reminders or instruction.    Until your kids are in college or financially independent, be prepared to be responsible.   Vet bills will run several hundred dollars per year.   Our dog requires grooming every 6 weeks, which runs $35-55 each time.   She had surgery a year ago for bladder stones, which was $1000.   

 

We have a miniature schnauzer, whom we've had since she was a puppy.   She is a fabulous member of the family, and is VERY attached to me.   I sometimes say she's "my little shadow" because she follows me around the house.   She's pretty barky, but doesn't shed, doesn't chew anything but her toys, doesn't smell, and doesn't need a ton of exercise.   We walk her twice a day, usually one longer walk (30-60 minutes, between 1-3 miles depending on how much time we have available) and one shorter walk.   She's about 19 pounds, which is small enough to be a lap dog but not so small that she's fragile.

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When will DS be old enough to take care of the dog himself? When he has his own place. Seriously. Don't get a dog if you don't plan on being the primary caregiver.

 

I really wish we didn't have our dogs. I didn't want the second at all, but DS fell in love at an adoption event (that I didn't want to attend but was driven there instead of Costco) and DH lost his mind. Having dogs adds a big expense to vacations for boarding. The vet costs will vary by location, so that's hard to guess. Once a year for checkups and immunizations. Ours go out multiple times a day. They wake up before my 3 year old. Exercise depends on the dog. My DH and DS don't do this enough despite my nagging, and I can't add one more thing to my list. I can't. Food is expensive. (And guess who has to buy it?) You can't leave the house for more than say 8 hours without arranging for alternate care of the dog. Mess depends on the dogs and your environment. It's been raining here for days, so there are wet towels and muddy paws and sheets on our couches to try to help. And no one else will pick up the stupid towels or sheets and wash and dry them. It's a huge pain and complication that I just do.not.need.

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It is a lot of work to just train a dog and we expect a lot from our dog.  My dd is younger so dh and I do most of the work, but she is usually willing to help.  Dd and the dog are best friends as they have grown up together.  I wouldn't change that.  We all love the dog and love having the dog.  How much work they are and how much they cost depend a lot on the type of dog.  Shedding vs non shedding, drooling vs non drooling, big vs little, and are they prone to health problems.  Temperment is important too.  Our last dog was a runner and this one is happy to stay in our yard with us which makes it much less stressful.

 

Ours usually travels with us and we have always had a larger dog.  We deal with it, but would have lots more options for hotels/apartments if our dog was under 35 lbs.

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Well, that depends on the type of dog you get. Some breeds are energetic; some are not. Even within a breed, dog personalities are different. First, ask yourself what you want to DO with the dog. Do you want a friend for the kids as in a dog that will play nonstop or more of a buddy to throw a couple of sticks for and then watch some TV? Determine what you want the dog to be in your household first and then look for a dog that fits that profile. You and your family will both be happier. 

 

Secondly, puppies of every breed are a lot of work. Puppy shots that first year are expensive. Puppies should be trained to obey basic commands like sit, stay, etc. so add in a training class with a professional. Puppies need exercise; a tired puppy is a happy puppy. If you don't want to go through the puppy stage, there are lots of breed rescues where you can find an older (maybe housebroken) dog. Puppies also need lots of supervision and have to be taught your rules, but any dog that comes into your home will have to be taught that.

 

Dogs, especially smaller ones, live a long time - 15 years if you are lucky. Are you prepared for that commitment?

 

I can't tell you the average cost of a dog. I choose insanely high-energy, super smart herding breeds. I throw over 100 frisbees per day on top of what my husband does with walking the dog. My dog is very well trained (voice and hand signals) and training is a hobby for me. My dog sheds a lot and I vacuum every day. But to me, all that is worth it because she fits exactly what I wanted my dog to be -- my companion, my training buddy, and my protector.

 

Ask yourself some hard questions. If the answers don't match having a dog of your own, let your kids start a dog sitting business or volunteer to exercise the dogs of an older person. Anything is better than getting a dog that doesn't match your needs and wants.

Edited by Teacher Mom
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Lots to think about! I'm definitely not ready for the commitment now. But I'm more ready than I was even a year ago. And as the kids are growing up it is "easier" on a daily basis around here. But the advice to not get one until I'm committed is great. Because even if DS can do things, it will be my responsibility to make sure they get done.

 

We have cats but they use the litter box. And we do a lot of activities out of the house so coordinating bathroom runs might be an additional thing to consider.

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I'm coming back to echo the point about needing to find care for vacations.

 

We never vacationed much, but even a cheap camping weekend away willbe pricey after adding kennel fees. (Too difficult to take dogs most places)

 

I remember one trip that the kennel cost was more than the week away with boarding 2 dogs.

 

You could luck out with a friend or neighbor to house & pet sit, but kennel always worked out best for us.

 

Yearly vet visit was about 500-600 between shots, flea treatments, etc

Oh,& the time the fleas got bad & we needed orkin to treat the whole house.

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We will not be ready until DS can mostly care for it himself, with some parental help. How old does a child need to be to take care of a high need pet like a dog? We would also choose an easy, quiet, low fur, family friendly dog, as much as possible (we get pets from the humane society or local shelters).

I'll be blunt, what you are describing here is not realistic. You want a stuffed animal, not a living being.

 

At what age would you leave a toddler under the care of a child for them to mostly care for with parental help? That's the age your ds can care for a dog mostly himself. Children can help care for a dog, but the adults will need to be involved multiple times a day from now until the end of the dog's life which can be 13 years depending on the dog and the breed. Don't forget potty training which is a lot like having a human baby in its scale of disruption of sleep. Will your ds get up multiple times on his own to let the dog out?

 

My kids help care for our dog, but at my direction multiple times a day or he'd never go out, never come in, seldom eat, and run out of water on a regular basis. If he's brushed, it's because I did it or said something or paid one of the kids to do it (and followed up to make sure it was done all the way). If he's had a bath, it's because I said something to dh or did it myself. Yes, they help, but the emphasis is on help. My children will be ready to care for a dog all by themselves when they're old enough and responsible enough to have their own children and then, I'd hope that like a human child, they'd wait until their life is stable enough and they're really ready before making that choice.

 

If you don't want a dog and all the responsibility that goes along with a dog for the entirety of that dog's life, then please do not get a dog. A family should not get a dog unless all adults are on board with the care and keeping of the dog. If the adults are not interested in that, then the rest of the family will need to accept that. Dogs are living beings with feelings and needs, not toys we buy for our entertainment. Kids need to understand that, too.

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And keep in mind an older dog is easier than a puppy by an exponential amount. A good "first dog" or "starter dog" is a retired greyhound. Very laid back in the house, don't need a ton of exercise, don't need a bunch of grooming, etc. 

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My family REALLY wants a dog.

 

I'm gradually thinking about it. I had one when I was a child but we just opened the door to let it go to the bathroom (not walked often as it seemed to escape a lot). I did play with it and bathe it. But that was decades ago. I'm wanting an adult view of the work a dog requires.

 

How many walks a day to go to the bathroom and how many longer walks for exercise? How often to bathe (if it's mostly indoors?). How dirty will my house get beyond what it is now? How expensive are they? How often are vet visits?

 

I definitely don't want one until we are ready. We will not be ready until DS can mostly care for it himself, with some parental help. How old does a child need to be to take care of a high need pet like a dog? We would also choose an easy, quiet, low fur, family friendly dog, as much as possible (we get pets from the humane society or local shelters).

 

A lot -- a LOT -- depends on the dog and how good of a fit that dog is for you and your family. A dog that's a great fit probably won't seem like much work. The joy will outweigh everything. A dog who isn't such a good fit can seem like a weight dragging you down (in many ways).

 

So my advice for people thinking about a dog is to forget about looks. Look for a dog who's temperament/personality and energy level fit your family. Those are THE most important things. You'll learn to love the looks of any dog that meshes well with you and your family. If the dog is a bad fit you really won't care how cute or beautiful it is.

 

Bathroom walks -- Once a dog is fully house trained you can get by with four. I think that's a bare minimum, although on really nasty days the current pooch is very content with three times outside. He can easily hold it for 12-14 hours when necessary. Still, I worry about bladder/urinary health so I always opt for more rather than less. We have a fenced yard; it takes less than a minute for me to let him out for a quick pee. But other dogs who are more sniffy and more interested in general in the outside can take longer.

 

How many longer walks for exercise -- It depends. First of all I don't think walks at a human pace provide much physical exercise at all for medium/large dogs. They do for smaller dogs. But walks are fabulous mental exercise for dogs and I think all of them need at least one walk a day for that reason. If you have a high energy medium/large dog it will need more than walks no matter how many a day you do.

 

How often to bathe -- As often as you want or as often as is necessary. Do not believe "dogs shouldn't be bathed any more frequently than absolutely necessary." It's false, probably a holdover from decades ago when all dog shampoos were harsh and drying. That's no longer true. I've bathed dogs as frequently as twice a week with nothing but good results. The current pooch gets bathed every seven to ten days. He sleeps on our bed, sometimes under the covers, so I want him to be clean.

 

How dirty will your house get -- Again, it depends. Some dogs like to roll in things and will do so every time you turn your back. Some longer haired dogs can drag in lots of stuff on their fur. Some dogs adore mud and so muddy paws can be a big issue in wet weather. Most dogs shed (well, all of them do to some extent), which is probably the biggest issue in extra cleaning. I am a fan of low shedding dogs. :) But those all require grooming, which means paying a professional or buying some equipment and learning to do it yourself (not hard).

 

How expensive are they -- It's getting more and more expensive to own a dog. :( If they stay healthy it's not too bad after the puppy stage and until older age. But to walk in the door at my vet's office for a sick visit is $41 just for the office fee. Flea and heart worm preventatives can run $20 or more a month. The flea/tick preventative I gave our dog is about $25/month. A good quality food can be spendy, especially if you're feeding a large dog.

 

How often are vet visits -- Generally just once a year for adult dogs. And of course if they get sick or injured.

 

I would not recommend getting a dog unless the adults in the house are fully on board with it and at least one of them is willing to take on the responsibility. I wouldn't depend on a kid doing it. Some will but many won't. That said, it really depends on the kid. I was taking full responsibility for a dog (as far as feeding, watering, grooming and potty breaks) when I was seven or eight. But for most kids I'd say nearer to ten. The problem is, though, that after that age their interests can change rapidly. So while a ten year old might be very into the dog a twelve year old may not be.

Edited by Pawz4me
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I have a pretty small non shedding dog. My house isn't any dirtier. She is let out into the fenced in yard several times a day to potty when we're home. She can wait 8+ hours when we aren't. She is walked daily for about 20-30 minutes and played with a lot in the house/yard. She likes two walks a day but 1 is okay. She isn't really a ton of work, but you are more tied to your house as you have to make sure they have enough potty opportunities throughout the day. Most people who own dogs work all day though, so it's not like you can never leave iykwim. You also have to make dog sitting arrangements of some sort when you travel.

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My family REALLY wants a dog.

 

I'm gradually thinking about it. I had one when I was a child but we just opened the door to let it go to the bathroom (not walked often as it seemed to escape a lot). I did play with it and bathe it. But that was decades ago. I'm wanting an adult view of the work a dog requires.

 

How many walks a day to go to the bathroom and how many longer walks for exercise? How often to bathe (if it's mostly indoors?). How dirty will my house get beyond what it is now? How expensive are they? How often are vet visits?

 

I definitely don't want one until we are ready. We will not be ready until DS can mostly care for it himself, with some parental help. How old does a child need to be to take care of a high need pet like a dog? We would also choose an easy, quiet, low fur, family friendly dog, as much as possible (we get pets from the humane society or local shelters).

 

A lot will depend on the breed you choose but some will just be personality of the animal.

I go for walks with my boxer but I also just let her out during the day and evening by herself. If you have a fenced yard, this should be no problem.

 

I hardly bathe her by getting her totally wet. She has short hair. When she needs cleaning, I do it in the laundry room with a bucket of water and old towels. You can have dog bathed and groomed of course professionally.

My dog sheds quite a bit so there is a lot more hair on everything than would be without her.

 

As far as vet expenses go there are a several vaccinations annually, heartworm preventative, flea & tick treatment (necessary where I live). In my experience the vaccinations are less expensive than the heartworm and flea preparations. How large your dog is (weight) will impact dosage of meds and therefore influence cost a bit.

We have never had huge vet bills until our animals were near the end of their lives. Then we have spent maybe more than we should have in an effort to prolong their lives.

 

How old your child should be to be a reliable caregiver really depends on his maturity as well but honestly, I would not leave this completely to any kid without making sure everything is done. My ds grew up with dogs and has "taken care" of our dogs by feedling, grooming, playing with the animal but I always double checked on water bowls, cleanliness of paws after they had been playing in the mud, etc.

 

I hope you find a dog you will enjoy and love. I cannot imagine life without one.  :)

 

ETA: Forgot to mention potty training because we always get shelter dogs that are already house trained. A good resource on general training is helpful and you will of course need water and food bowls, a collar and leash.

 

Edited by Liz CA
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OP you do not sound enthusiastic about the idea of getting a dog.  Unless and until YOU want a dog, I suggest that you do not get one. You mentioned "house". Do you live in an apartment or in a house? Do you have a fenced yard, so you could just open the door and let the dog outside to use the restroom?   If not, the more often you can take the dog out for walks, the better. Especially when you have a puppy and s/he needs to be house trained.  We have dogs and we have cats and we have a bird. It takes time to take care of them. Actually,  the bird is the hardest of the pets we have to take care of and s/he has the most varied diet.  

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I really dislike the reality of owning a dog!  I mean, I've always loved my dogs and all, but ugh!

 

Of course, a lot depends on the actual dog(s). I had two large dogs who were pretty laid back... except with strangers.  Which made the concept of a pet sitter impossible. They did okay in one particular kennel, but it was very expensive to board them, even with a 2nd dog discount. Also, we don't have a fenced yard, so winter and rainy days were never fun.

 

Even if we did have a fenced yard, we would't be able to just let our current dog out because he could be swooped up by a hawk. Or attacked by a squirrel!

 

Every day, I wonder what I was thinking.

 

Did I mention the love?

Edited by Carrie12345
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I really dislike the reality of owning a dog!  I mean, I've always loved my dogs and all, but ugh!

 

Of course, a lot depends on the actual dog(s). I had two large dogs who were pretty laid back... except with strangers.  Which made the concept of a pet sitter impossible. They did okay in one particular kennel, but it was very expensive to board them, even with a 2nd dog discount. Also, we don't have a fenced yard, so winter and rainy days were never fun.

 

Even if we did have a fenced yard, we would't be able to just let our current dog out because he could be swooped up by a hawk. Or attacked by a squirrel!

 

Every day, I wonder what I was thinking.

 

Did I mention the love?

 

Your dog is being attacked by a squirrel? Is your dog tiny? I suppose this is so foreign (and funny - sorry) to me because we have always had large dogs and lived in areas where there were coyotes, bears and even cougars.

 

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Mom has to not only want the dog but be willing to do all the work-walking/feeding/watering/etc. Yes, my kids sometimes think on their own to do these things. However, it doesn't take the dog long to figure out mom isn't going to want them to pee in the house and will feed them.

We have a fenced yard so our big boy gets to play the in and out game all day. He is a senior now and is content to hang in the yard and have a daily walk. When he was younger he was high energy and we would take him on a minimum of 3 walks out day in addition to the backyard ranging.

I take him to the vet when he needs shots or if something is wrong. I don't get his teeth cleaned or send him to the groomers. He does eat a combination raw and kibble diet which probably costs more than the vet visits.

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I think there is a quiz you can take online I which you answer a series of questions about your family, and the results are a few dog breeds you may wish to consider. Yes! Found it: http://www.akc.org/find-a-match/#slide1

 

There are also a bunch more, which may provide different results. The one above is through the American Kennel Club.

 

I agree that a dog's breeding, and therefore heredity characteristics, play a huge rule in whether or not it is a successful match with your family.

 

 

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It's really going to depend on the dog and on what you feel is work. To me, taking care of a dog isn't much work once they're trained. Training is a lot of work, but I think it's worth it because I love having a dog. Someone who's on the fence or "not really a dog person" will feel differently. 

 

If you get a working dog breed you will need to keep the dog busy or it will find its own "job". You might not like the job it gives itself. (The self-assigned job could be anything from announcing every person, vehicle or thing that passes your front door to guarding the kids to collecting all the household shoes). It's not a bad thing to have to keep them busy but it is work.

 

Don't get a dog when you have young children unless you're willing to take on most of the care. We got our last dog as a birthday present for ds when he turned seven, knowing full well that a seven year old would not be caring for a dog responsibly. It's what we wanted to do and had no regrets. If you aren't willing to take on the care, don't get one. 

 

Also, be aware that most of the time your dog will be healthy and the biggest cost will be an annual checkup and flea/parasite control meds. However, some dogs like some people, end up with health problems and sometimes you can't tell in advance if that will happen. When the dog gets old there's a whole new set of issues (how much to spend on medical care vs. when to let go). 

 

Does your family travel much? If so, you need to consider what you'll do with the dog. Take it with you and seek out pet-friendly lodging along the way? Board it? A good reliable boarding kennel is not cheap. Do you have someone who can take the dog to their home or come and stay with it? These are all issues even if you only go away for a long weekend.

 

I sound like I'm trying to talk you out of a dog but I'm not. I love dogs and the work is worth it to me. You asked for the reality. I agree with the pp (pawz?) who said whether it's work will depend on the dog. It will also depend on you and how much you really like having a dog.

Edited by Lady Florida.
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I think there is a quiz you can take online I which you answer a series of questions about your family, and the results are a few dog breeds you may wish to consider. Yes! Found it: http://www.akc.org/find-a-match/#slide1

 

There are also a bunch more, which may provide different results. The one above is through the American Kennel Club.

 

I agree that a dog's breeding, and therefore heredity characteristics, play a huge rule in whether or not it is a successful match with your family.

 

I'd be very careful with online breed selectors. Extremely careful.

 

Most people in rescue don't like any of them because they give such bad recommendations.

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When *I* was ready to have a dog, we got a dog. DS (4 at the time) had his heart set on a chocolate lab, which was a good choice. FWIW we got an English lab, as they are bred to sit and wait in a blind for birds, as opposed to an American lab, who are bred to run all the livelong day flushing birds out. I did my research (I'm a Cesar Milan girl, and read his puppy book, and made DH read it too). We found a breeder who had an 8 month old they were raising to show, but he was going to be too tall to meet the standard. Perfect: past the newborn stage, house trained, crate trained, started on obedience.

We brought him home and I trained him to be calm, and all those things that make him enjoyable to be around. The kids at 4 & 6 were old enough to feed a meal each, let him out when he rang his bell, pick up after him, play fetch, practice sitting and staying and leave it and find it.

We've never really walked him, as fetching the ball is much more enjoyable for him and us.

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Sigh, and English style lab was what I was pushing for. But DH refused to pay for a well bred dog, so we went with a rescue pup who despite appearing to be one breed turned out to be mostly hound dog. REALLY BIG hound dog. Who seriously may have given me a bit of PTSD in trying to deal with him and a newborn at the same time. 

 

However, with LOTS of work he's doing pretty okay now. But a sane person would have gotten rid of him long ago. Of course, a sane person wouldn't get a rescue puppy while massively pregnant with her 4th child....

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I have had dogs off and on all my life.  I love dogs.  DH loves dogs.  The kids love dogs.  The kids have had two dogs since they came into this world.  One we had before they were born.  One we got after the first one died.  DH and I had two other dogs in the early years of our marriage.  We loved them all dearly and miss them terribly.  They have all passed on.  I do not regret the years we had dogs.  

 

On the flip side of that coin, even though we WANTED each and every one of those dogs, they were a tremendous amount of daily care and limited our mobility way more than our cats ever did.  And potty training a young dog can be worse than training a toddler.  It is also hard to predict ahead of time if the dog's personality will mesh well with your family.  If it doesn't, but the kids get attached, that adds a whole other layer of challenging.

 

And absolutely the responsibility for caring for that dog is going to be squarely on your shoulders.  You can train your child to help out but this is a living creature.  If your child forgets to feed your dog or provide it water or take it out to the bathroom it is the animal that suffers.  Children usually THINK they can handle things in the moment but day to day care takes time and effort even when you don't feel like it.  And it can get really, really boring once the newness wears off.  Even DH suffers from this.  He falls into shiny new animal syndrome but once the newness wears off he forgets or gets bored and just doesn't want to take care of whatever animal it is that he convinced me he would take care of.  And he is an adult.  Just like as a mom there are days when we might really rather stay in bed and read a book, we actually don't have that option with young children especially.  They need us whether we have the enthusiasm and energy that day or not.  Most kids are not up to that kind of day to day responsibility without significant support.

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My family REALLY wants a dog.

 

I'm gradually thinking about it. I had one when I was a child but we just opened the door to let it go to the bathroom (not walked often as it seemed to escape a lot). I did play with it and bathe it. But that was decades ago. I'm wanting an adult view of the work a dog requires.

 

How many walks a day to go to the bathroom and how many longer walks for exercise? How often to bathe (if it's mostly indoors?). How dirty will my house get beyond what it is now? How expensive are they? How often are vet visits?

 

I definitely don't want one until we are ready. We will not be ready until DS can mostly care for it himself, with some parental help. How old does a child need to be to take care of a high need pet like a dog? We would also choose an easy, quiet, low fur, family friendly dog, as much as possible (we get pets from the humane society or local shelters).

 

I honestly don't think we'll ever get another dog.

 

Legend is great.  There was that incident with salmon poisoning that SURPRISE cost about $1k.

Lacey is less that awesome although she is a small dog.  She is nippy with strangers and has to be put away if we are expecting anyone.  She wasn't like that as a pup but she sure is now (10-11 years later.)  She mostly has been low cost - except the spay. I inadvertently chose a pretty expensive vet.  Oh, and when she got attacked by our (now gone) crazy puppy.  That was $500 in stitches.

 

Then there was the long awaited puppy.  Waiting list, drive to Tennessee, etc., etc.  She did NOT work out.  See above.

 

With the dogs we have always either had a (very) large fenced yard or (now) an electrical fenced acreage.  Honestly, if I had to walk a dog there is NO way I would daily walk a dog and pick up poo.  Maybe once upon a time but now? Nope.

Food - dogs *really* do need to be grain free.  With two dogs I estimate their food to be about $50/mo using Costco's grain free.  They do roll in things.  They are dogs.  They also do not wipe their bottoms.  Just saying.  And they have a tendency to get into things they shouldn't... that is when you have the "accidents" which ARE occasional but really, one time? Too many.

 

We have had Legend and Lacey for almost eleven years.  Ana was about ten when she got him.  She did a FANTASTIC job of taking care of him.  You know where she is now?  Married, moving into student housing.  She can't take him with her.  Not her fault at all, but the catch of waiting until a child can bear the responsibility is that you will then have to take care of the dog when they go to college.  The flip side is getting a dog when they are young, you take care of it when you are young and still care, then they take over but they die when kids are still young.  

 

I am *really* jaded so take that for what it's worth. 

 

To do it all over again I would probably do it the same (get a shepherd as long as he was like Legend and not like that nutjob Bris) but I would have *one* dog, never two or more.   I would get him when Ana was younger so that when she left, he would be on the brink of gone.  (I do know that sounds awful.  But, truly, I currently am not enjoying a geriatric, slightly senile dog who doesn't have the bladder control he had in the good 'ol days.)

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Mom will care for the dog the same percentage of time she cared for the kids when they were little. The rest of the household won't suddenly get more helpful (past the first month) just because a dog lives there. They won't vacuum without being asked even when there are hair ball tumble weeds. Just like babies, dogs learn who responds fastest and the DOG will ask for mom. It also adds a delightful layer of challenge to family trips; even longer day trips.

 

I love my dog. He doesn't destroy anything and scares off solicitors. He's weird though. He's afraid of thunder and nail trims. He follows me around the house which is both sweet and annoying. He's too neurotic to kennel, so he goes with us, or someone stays, or we get a dog sitter.

 

A lot of doggy needs are breed specific, so you may want to do a questionnaire that tells you which dogs will fit best into your lifestyle. Choosing by which one you think is cutest isn't usually the way to go.

 

Having a fenced yard makes dog ownership SOOOO much easier.

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Oh, and having a puppy is like having a new baby. Seriously. That's the biggest work load stage for sure. You know how babies don't have object permanence and a lot cry when they can't see or hear you? So will your puppy. It's worth it to me, but I spent A LOT of time with my head poked around the shower curtain so my wailing puppy could see me while I bathed.

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I will say that not all kids will get too busy for the dog when they get older. As ds got older he did in fact take over care of the dog. And they did agility together (he became a junior handler). The dog really was his and they were inseparable friends until the end. 

 

My point is don't automatically think you'll be the one always taking care of the dog. That's not a given.

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I haven't read the other replies.  For us, having a dog is about like having a 5 year old who can be left by himself for about 8 hours at a whack if absolutely necessary.  We didn't leave the dog alone (except in a fall or spring car for a short while) at all for the first 2 years, same as the kids.  Same number of medical visits.  Vet care is cheaper, but we don't have insurance to help.  Food is cheaper but not any less frequent.  Social needs have to be met.  Ours barks to go out to go to the bathroom and then barks to come back in again, but there was a training period with accidents and there are bouts of diarrhea, discovering something dead in the yard and rolling in it, etc., that make hygiene about the same.  Since ours is loose in the yard when she wants to be, we do a shorter walk daily (1/2 mile - 1 mile) and then several long walks a weeks (2 or more).  She has things she is scared of, like thunder and fireworks, that take special consideration.  She needs snuggles and brushing and playing with and training.

 

Nan

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My whole family wants a dog - I do not. Therefore we don't have a dog.

 

I honestly doubt this will ever change because a dog would mean that I do all th work and I don't want to.

 

I'm fine with this reality.

 

I will consider doing foster for a rescue though - as long as it's a cute dog that looks adoptable - so (hopefully) I don't have the foster that never finds a home.

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A lot -- a LOT -- depends on the dog and how good of a fit that dog is for you and your family. A dog that's a great fit probably won't seem like much work. The joy will outweigh everything. A dog who isn't such a good fit can seem like a weight dragging you down (in many ways).

 

So my advice for people thinking about a dog is to forget about looks. Look for a dog who's temperament/personality and energy level fit your family. Those are THE most important things. You'll learn to love the looks of any dog that meshes well with you and your family. If the dog is a bad fit you really won't care how cute or beautiful it is.

This is so important.

 

 

Dogs will look at you as parent or alpha. Can you train it, clip nails, and deal with ear infections or other medical issues?

 

After that my children take care of the dog themselves. My son started walking the dog multiple times a day at 12. It gave him freedom to roam the neighborhood that I might not otherwise feel comfortable with. They feed, water, walk, let out at night and in the morning, brush, bath, and play with the dog. To the extent that I hate for them to visit Grandparents because then I have to deal with the dog then. There are 4 of them so that makes a difference. The oldest was 12 when he could take over tasks that needed more ability and the youngest filled the dog dish so 12 is a good starter age for a larger dog. I'm hoping he will stay healthy until the younger two are about ready to move out. If one kid is gone or busy one day another kid takes over.

 

Boarding is expensive when you travel.

 

We have a shedder so kids are in charge of vacuuming and cleaning out washing machine, etc but we don't need to pay for professional groomer.

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I will say that not all kids will get too busy for the dog when they get older. As ds got older he did in fact take over care of the dog. And they did agility together (he became a junior handler). The dog really was his and they were inseparable friends until the end.

 

My point is don't automatically think you'll be the one always taking care of the dog. That's not a given.

Oh sure. I have a responsible kid too who is pretty good about caring for the dog. Do you know what she did? She LEFT us all for college. The dog was so sad he snuck into her room for secret naps and we only found out when she found a ring of hair on her comforter. Now she's home again and the dog is confused.

 

WHY did she leave me?!?!? I mean . . . the poor innocent dog

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I will say my teen is the official "take the dog outside for a walk/run before I kill it" person. And he scoops a litter box for the cats but only with reminders. He sometimes feeds the animals. Other kids will let the dog outside for me into the fenced yard. That's it. 

 

Also, I just came home to find the stupid freaking hound puppy got out of his kennel AGAIN!  :banghead:  :banghead:  :banghead:

 

And I have professional training certifications. Sigh. At least he didn't destroy the new blinds. Had they lasted only a few days my husband would have killed either the dog or me. (not really)

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Oh sure. I have a responsible kid too who is pretty good about caring for the dog. Do you know what she did? She LEFT us all for college. The dog was so sad he snuck into her room for secret naps and we only found out when she found a ring of hair on her comforter. Now she's home again and the dog is confused.

 

WHY did she leave me?!?!? I mean . . . the poor innocent dog

 

I worry about this.  I waited until my son was 10, and ready to take major role in dog care.  Everyone said "he won't take care of it", but he really did.  For the last few years, he's done 100%, walking the dog to the vet for appointments, buying the food.  Everything.

 

And now I'm realizing that in a year or two, he's going to be gone and I'll be left with a dog who isn't bonded to me at all, and who I'm not bonded to.  Who will need me to rearrange my schedule, so I can be home for him at regular intervals.

 

I like our dog.  He's a good dog.  But to be honest, I wish I'd done the math and gotten an older dog.

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However, with LOTS of work he's doing pretty okay now. But a sane person would have gotten rid of him long ago. Of course, a sane person wouldn't get a rescue puppy while massively pregnant with her 4th child....

 

I remember that thread...:lol:  :lol:

 

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I will say my teen is the official "take the dog outside for a walk/run before I kill it" person. And he scoops a litter box for the cats but only with reminders. He sometimes feeds the animals. Other kids will let the dog outside for me into the fenced yard. That's it. 

 

Also, I just came home to find the stupid freaking hound puppy got out of his kennel AGAIN!  :banghead:  :banghead:  :banghead:

 

And I have professional training certifications. Sigh. At least he didn't destroy the new blinds. Had they lasted only a few days my husband would have killed either the dog or me. (not really)

 

Whatever his name is, it should be Houdini now.

 

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My parents have a dog that thinks it's a cat. It hates to go outside on the actual ground, so will only walk on the wooden beams my dad put down around his garden. It sleeps on the couch all day and is silent. He is also affectionate and sweet.

 

That's the kind of dog I want, which is why I have only cats.

 

My ds12 wants and dog and I tell him how sorry I am that we can't get one, but as soon as he is grown and has the place for one, he will be able to get a dog. I am very sympathetic, because I know his desire for a dog is genuine...but. Also, the only dog he's ever hung around is my parents' cat-dog, so maybe he doesn't really want a dog and just thinks he does.

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Reality is the first word of your thread title.  I take that to indicate that you personally do not want a dog, although others in your family do.   Part of the reality is losing a canine "best friend".  When they are old, you know they've had a long life, in a loving home, and they are ready to go, but, sometimes they die very young. We had that happen last year. Our wonderful Rottweiler developed some horrible problem, and after having his right rear leg amputated, and the vet thinking he was ready to come home, he died at the vet the day he was going to come home. .  He was less than 2 years old and he was inside the house more than all of our other dogs combined.  He would sit on the couch with my wife and watch TV with her.  He would carry in one of the food bowls, when I brought them in in the mornings, to fill them up.  He loved everybody, but I assume that if someone would have tried to harm anyone in our family, he would have taken care of them.  He was not a one person dog, although he spent much time with my Stepson and his wife because he was their dog.  He and my wife were also very close.  That type of dog is "mans best friend".  Sometimes our bird calls his name and my wife tells the bird that he's not here...  He was good when a young boy came to visit.

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...and when they vomit and/or have diarrhea, they always run to the carpet to get sick. They never run to the tiled bathroom or the linoleum in the laundry, noooo...

 

That said, we have three of the vomiting, defecating, furry rascals. :wub:

 

Oh, and buy a couple of Dyson Animal cordless vacuums or shop vacs. You'll need them. :ack2:

Edited by trulycrabby
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Your dog is being attacked by a squirrel? Is your dog tiny? I suppose this is so foreign (and funny - sorry) to me because we have always had large dogs and lived in areas where there were coyotes, bears and even cougars.

 

 

No, he's not, because he's always on-leash with humans, but he could be!  He's less than 5lbs when he hasn't been overindulging on peanut butter and cheese.

 

I have coyotes, bears, and bobcats, but I don't think they would bother with such a tiny snack.  :lol:   It's the smaller animals we have to watch out for!  (Even our 14lb cat, who has not warmed up to him.)

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...and when they vomit and/or have diarrhea, they always run to the carpet to get sick. They never run to the tiled bathroom or the linoleum in the laundry, noooo...

 

That said, we have three of the vomiting, defecating, furry rascals. :wub:

 

Oh, and buy a couple of Dyson Animal cordless vacuums or shop vacs. You'll need them. :ack2:

especially if the diarrhea is very liquidy....

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Dogs are great, but they are also a great, big PITA. Our dear German Shepherd died a year ago. DS12 really wants another dog. I could be persuaded, because I do love having a dog, but..oh man, the vacation care and the training and the barking and the digging and the grooming and the need to take care of the dog every day, and then the vet care when they get cancer or kidney disease or whatever awful thing...then I say, we're good for now.

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