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So, I hate school...


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#51 SKL

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Posted 14 June 2017 - 07:48 AM

But what difference do grades make in elementary school? There are no real consequences to lower grades until a few years later. I'd let my DD suffer a lower grade for not completing HW.

 

The consequences will vary depending on the school and family cultures and the individual's personality.

 

In my kids' school, everyone knows who isn't getting good grades, and they are in a pretty small minority.  Even merit roll is rather mediocre.  A child in that environment can easily develop a mindset that she is a mediocre (or poor) student with a mediocre (or poor) mind.  That can have far-reaching implications.  It also isn't a good idea for the teachers to think your family doesn't give a damn about education.  The teachers' view of the kid and her family will determine the amount and quality of attention the kid gets in school.



#52 Ordinary Shoes

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Posted 15 June 2017 - 12:42 AM

The consequences will vary depending on the school and family cultures and the individual's personality.

 

In my kids' school, everyone knows who isn't getting good grades, and they are in a pretty small minority.  Even merit roll is rather mediocre.  A child in that environment can easily develop a mindset that she is a mediocre (or poor) student with a mediocre (or poor) mind.  That can have far-reaching implications.  It also isn't a good idea for the teachers to think your family doesn't give a damn about education.  The teachers' view of the kid and her family will determine the amount and quality of attention the kid gets in school.

 

Bringing me right back to "I hate school."

 

Serious question - do kids who are never exposed to school have these kinds of problems?


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#53 Renai

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Posted 15 June 2017 - 04:10 AM

Also, realistically, if your child can't complete the homework in the assigned time, there is a problem. Even the arts and crafts from middle school social studies could be done in twenty minutes. The schools here keep it to 10 min X grade level, which is the PTA recommendation.


With my daughter's slow processing, a 20 minute homework would take her an hour. I knew she was slow because I had homeschooled, but the 3rd grade teacher didn't know because she hadn't been tested yet. She was also in dance a few days a week, so it was a perfect storm. This was a long time ago, so all I remember is talking to the teacher and dd turning in unfinished homework packets. It just wasn't going to get done in the time the teacher expected, and I wasn't going to make dd stay up till 10 every night to get it done.

#54 SKL

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Posted 15 June 2017 - 09:05 AM

Bringing me right back to "I hate school."

 

Serious question - do kids who are never exposed to school have these kinds of problems?

 

Well honestly, I've given it a lot of thought over my 50 year life.  It's not perfect - neither is homeschooling or unschooling or any other setup - but for me and my kids, the positives of school significantly outweigh the negatives.  If I'm honest with myself, I could not do a better job at home with my kids.  There was a time when I thought differently though.


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#55 Tanaqui

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Posted 15 June 2017 - 11:33 AM

Also, realistically, if your child can't complete the homework in the assigned time, there is a problem. Even the arts and crafts from middle school social studies could be done in twenty minutes. The schools here keep it to 10 min X grade level, which is the PTA recommendation.

 

Sure. But it may be that the problem is that the teachers do not have a realistic idea of how long these assignments will take for the student who is on the slow side of average.


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#56 Heigh Ho

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 11:01 AM

Sure. But it may be that the problem is that the teachers do not have a realistic idea of how long these assignments will take for the student who is on the slow side of average.



That depends where you live. A classified student will have hw modified here. An unclassified, on the low end of normal student is the child the hw and classwork is designed for. That is why common core is considered bad for above average students...it doesn't lead to calculus in first year of college, and the literacy levelis are too low for university success.

#57 Tanaqui

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Posted 16 June 2017 - 12:41 PM

That depends where you live. A classified student will have hw modified here. An unclassified, on the low end of normal student is the child the hw and classwork is designed for. That is why common core is considered bad for above average students...it doesn't lead to calculus in first year of college, and the literacy levels are too low for university success.

 

When every parent is saying that it homework is taking more than the set amount of time, the fault is with the teacher.


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#58 Have kids -- will travel

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Posted 18 June 2017 - 08:21 PM

Bringing me right back to "I hate school."

 

Serious question - do kids who are never exposed to school have these kinds of problems?

 

Below average kids who attend school are indeed aware that they are below average. Kids (who are below average) never exposed to school may indeed avoid these feelings of inadequacy for a time, but the question is for how long. By middle school, I expect even homeschooled children to know where they stand academically, between testing and outside classes, but kids that age should also be aware of their own personal strengths, which may mitigate the negative feelings with less than stellar academic achievement.

 

Homeschooling brings with it its own set of problems/challenges, and it's definitely not true that homeschooling would be better for every family. Not all homeschooling moms/dads are as capable at teaching. Not all parents have access to high quality teaching material. Not all kids thrive with one-on-one instruction. Not all kids respond positively to mom/dad laying out instructions and setting rules.

 

My kids aren't below average, and while school isn't perfect, homeschooling wouldn't be either. It's easy to idealize the path you're not taking when the road you're on is frustrating.

 

But my advice to the parents with younger kids than mine is to do the homework that the school asks. If it's busywork, if it's not possible to fit in, if there are mitigating circumstances making it take significantly too long for your child, talk with the school. Not every school will be reasonable. Not every teacher is a stellar one. But teachers want your child to succeed and want to know what's hindering them. 



#59 jakesims

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Posted 20 June 2017 - 05:02 AM

 

It depends on your school.  Ours does penalize for lack of hw completion by not allowing the child to enroll in honors courses. They will also put the child in a lower level math course than needed...no 8th algebra for example, even if they aced the final and state exams for the preceding years. 

 

Also, realistically, if your child can't complete the homework in the assigned time, there is a problem.  Even the arts and crafts from middle school social studies could be done in twenty minutes.  The schools here keep it to 10 min X grade level, which is the PTA recommendation.

 

 

 

As for me, that's a good and loyal approach. I have a lot of friends that make their children study, but what's the reason for spending time and money for something that does not fit to your child? Maybe It's better to focus on other activities, like sports or hobbies.

 

 

 

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Edited by jakesims, 20 June 2017 - 05:13 AM.


#60 AlexaBarret

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Posted 27 June 2017 - 05:25 AM

I had this realization yesterday. School's been out for week and what a nice week it was! DD's happily reading every night. She breezed through the new Mercy Watson book night. She checked out a whole stack of new books about animals and is plowing into them. I've discovered mornings are the sweet spot for writing and she's done her copywork and freewriting without complaint in the morning. Our evenings are blissfully free.

 

I was so irritated last week about the recommendation that she do work with the online phonics program. I think I've figured out why I was so irritated. It was like an intrusion of school into our personal lives during summer. I'm so glad we've decided not to worry about it over the summer.

 

When school is in session, our time in the evening is never our own. We're always jumping through school hoops. It drives me crazy and I really resent it.

 

Why is school so intrusive in family lives? Why do they feel they have some ownership of that time in the evening? It seems like it represents some of cultural phenomenon that shows that they don't trust families. And why do families so willingly cede that time over to school? Do families not trust that they have a right to run their own lives?

 

Sorry for the diatribe but it strikes me as strange.

I totally agree with you. But I think it`s not the only school that is to blame but also parents. We, parents, try to do our best. We want our children to be perfect. Is it correct? I`m not sure. Our children have to live in their own way and to be as they want to be but not as parents or somebody else want. So, maybe the best way to have no problems with children`s school is allowing them to be free in their choices? :party: