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Extreme thinking. Black/white, never gray. Ideas to help?


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Our 13yo is extremely concrete/literal in his thinking. It is very hard for him to connect with the grey areas of life. The psychologist we're working with says a high functioning autism/Asperger's label fits him very well. 

 

He's very smart, and we're looking for resources/curricula to help him learn to be more adaptive in his thinking and style of coping.

 

Have any of you worked with this, and can you suggest resources?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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IMHO, there is nothing that is ever going to make the child with HFA/Asperger's ever truly understand shades of gray and "the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law". You're going to have to work on flexibility and "going along to get along" even though they think it's "so unfair" and "rewarding rule-breaking". Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy has helped my DD but for a teenager, I would look for a cognitive-behavioral therapist.

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We do have a psychologist doing cognitive behavioral therapy with our son. However, the cost isn't sustainable, and she is telling us that much of what this particular kiddo needs we can accomplish at home. I'm in the beginning stages of figuring out exactly how to go about that. I'll get further input from from the psychologist, and I'm also hoping to track down other resources that fit our son well.

 

 

 

 

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We do have a psychologist doing cognitive behavioral therapy with our son. However, the cost isn't sustainable, and she is telling us that much of what this particular kiddo needs we can accomplish at home. I'm in the beginning stages of figuring out exactly how to go about that. I'll get further input from from the psychologist, and I'm also hoping to track down other resources that fit our son well.

 

I completely agree with your psych. I use the principles of CBT and mindfulness to work on anxiety and flexibility, among other things. There are tons of resources out there, including self help workbooks. We are not big on workbook approaches and I'm the type that reads tons and then I incorporate things into my own approach. I guide my kids real time, in the moment, while having many discussions with them at home.

 

My advice to you is, if you have no other options, ask the psych to show you the approach and recommend resources with your specific child in mind.

 

Wishing you all the best!

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Diaperjoys, I follow psych boards on Pinterest and I am big on CBT. In any case, this was in my list of recommended pins so I thought I would share it with you and anyone else that may be interested.

25 CBT Techniques and Worksheets for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/cbt-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-worksheets/

I only follow specific techniques off the list.

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Diaperjoys, I follow psych boards on Pinterest and I am big on CBT (most likely because of how closely it resembles the Socratic Method, a method I was exposed to from a young age). In any case, this was in my list of recommended pins so I thought I would share it with you and anyone else that may be interested.

 

25 CBT Techniques and Worksheets for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/cbt-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-worksheets/

 

I only follow specific techniques off the list.

 

All the best,

 

Marie

Thank you so much for the link. This will be so helpful to me.

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Socialthinking - Products You can search their products by recommended ages. He's right on the line, but I'd probably start with the stuff listed for 11-13 and then move up. You can look and see. Yes, you can do the things yourself. If you've got questions about particular materials, just ask. I've seen almost everything now, having gone to several of their social thinking workshops, and I've got a bunch. Like for 11-13 it lists the 2 book Social Thinking and Me set. I'm just getting ready to have a worker do them with my ds. They would not be too young for your ds. They also have some articles I think where MGW lists out top recommendations. 

 

Social Behavior Mapping would be really powerful with your ds.

 

If you can hit a workshop/conference, it might be rocket fuel for you. Might cost you $$$, but that's still less than a couple sessions with a psychologist.

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Socialthinking - Products You can search their products by recommended ages. He's right on the line, but I'd probably start with the stuff listed for 11-13 and then move up. You can look and see. Yes, you can do the things yourself. If you've got questions about particular materials, just ask. I've seen almost everything now, having gone to several of their social thinking workshops, and I've got a bunch. Like for 11-13 it lists the 2 book Social Thinking and Me set. I'm just getting ready to have a worker do them with my ds. They would not be too young for your ds. They also have some articles I think where MGW lists out top recommendations.

 

Social Behavior Mapping would be really powerful with your ds.

 

If you can hit a workshop/conference, it might be rocket fuel for you. Might cost you $$$, but that's still less than a couple sessions with a psychologist.

I love that Social Thinking and Me set. We have been working our way through it slowly but surely.

 

For the black/white thinking, I would suggest looking at the book Learning the ROPES for Improved Executive Function. It probably sounds like a strange recommendation, but basically it is a CBT approach to executive function. She uses these awesome graphic organizers that have helped my son with that kind of thinking. That said he really is fairly flexible in his thinking for a child with ASD. She has this basic thinking tool that links situation action outcome and several expansions of that tool for other purposes. We have used this with my son since he was a preschooler and it has been so effective and is something he has internalized and uses all the time on his own accord.

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