Parents of twins or children close in age...

[tdbates78]

How many subjects do you teach together versus individually? My 7.5 year old, slightly immature for their age, twins need structure and teaching. They both struggle with independent work, which is one (of many) reason I pulled them out of PS earlier this year . However, they get giggly and silly, or whiny, at times which makes teaching them together also a struggle. I find it difficult to get, and keep, both of their attention when teaching certain subjects. An example would be AAR. We do it together daily. Yesterday we were working on silent e blends. They know silent e, but were making silly mistakes due to a lack of attention. I get aggravated and eventually lose my patience. When that happens it can lead to a meltdown with my HF ASD daughter and then nothing gets done. Sigh. Next year I think I need to figure out a way to work with each individually.

 

Any been-there-done-that advice would be helpful!

Edited May 25, 2017 by tdbates78

[fralala]

Not for twins, but for children close in age (and about the age of yours): yes, at this age, I've found that it's better to take each of them separately for the things that require their focused attention, like phonics and math. This is also best for us because I don't like it when they compare themselves to each other and competing or feeling "stupid" because one gets something more quickly than the other. I think we all appreciate being able to have a little 1:1 time, too, when my lap or cuddles or attention don't need to be shared. Some days the girl who is not being worked with is happy playing alone, sometimes I need to resort to a video or game for her, but it's totally worth it. With all siblings but I'd imagine especially with twins it's nice not to always be lumped together, which was my natural inclination for my little girls close in age.

[tdbates78]

Thank you for responding. Its easy to get into the mindset of lumping everything together but I agree that its important to have 1:1 time.

 

If one of them is having a "break" (ie not working on school work) the other whines because her sister gets a break and then vice versa when we switch. I think I need to work on getting them to accept it though, because keeping one busy with school work while I work with the other isn't working out too well.

Edited May 25, 2017 by tdbates78

[wathe]

Mine are a little over a year apart.  Skill subjects (math, reading, writing) separately.  Content subjects (history, science) together. 

[Vernal]

My two are 13 months apart. I had to separate them for skill work. DS couldn't concentrate with his sister humming, twisting, kicking the table, etc. And she was bored waiting on him.

 

Our routine is DS comes to the table first. We do math, phonics, and hand writing. Them DD joins us at the table for "together time" which is content subjects plus our Bible, read alouds, and memory work. When we are done with that, DS is free to go and DD stays at the table for skills. It's really worked so much better than trying to do skills together and getting aggravated with one of them for disruptive behavior.

 

I was also trying to keep them on the same lesson in math and phonics to begin with. Now it's so much easier to move ahead with one and slow and steady with the other. I am able to work with them at their pace.

[nixpix5]

I have 6 year old twins and a 7 year old (so almost like triplets!) and the only thing we do together is history, geography, science and art. Everything else (math, phonics, grammar, spelling, reading etc) is done separately. I even had to go as far as selecting different curriculums in some areas to make them feel more special and less competitive. I just rotate lessons and it seems to work fine. When we were doing core subjects together I experienced alot of what you are reporting. Now I get none of that :)

[OneStepAtATime]

Think of productive things the twin can be doing when you are working one on one with the other twin.  

 

Ideas:

1.  Start an apprenticeship for a chore.  Work with them on the chore step by step for a few days until you are sure that they have really internalized how to do it (just one go through probably won't help them develop muscle and procedural memory).  Once they can do the chore well without needing any help have a mini celebration and tell them they have now reached journeyman status.  Print out a certificate if you think it will be inspirational.  While you are working with one twin the other gets to be the Journeyman and go do their chore independently.  Praise for effort as well as execution.

 

2.  Audio book.  May work best with noise canceling headsets and a portable device.  Twin listens to the book while playing with legos or playdough or megablocks (if they need to move to be able to listen).

 

3.  Computer time for something like Prodigy math or CTC Math or Khan Academy to get in some math exposure that can be done a bit more independently as review.

 

4.  If they like to color, maybe a science or history themed coloring book that only gets pulled out during this time.

 

5.  Educational video.

 

 

[Momto4inSoCal]

This is my first year of teaching my twins. I teach them math and phonics separately. In math one twin does MM1 and the other RSA which I did to help them not realize one was a little advanced in math. I actually do school from 7-8 with my early bird twin and then 8-9 with the other. It helps to get them done first thing in the morning.

[MerryAtHope]

Not twins here (2 years apart), but what I did is content subjects together, skill subjects separately. It does get busy with early elementary when you are doing separate reading and math lessons, but it worked out better than when I tried to teach them together (mine couldn't even work independently in the same room though...ymmv!)

[Julie Smith]

Mine are 1 1/2 years apart. The only subjects I have taught together are input subjects. Such as: listening to a book,  and watching a documentary. 

[fralala]

Thank you for responding. Its easy to get into the mindset of lumping everything together but I agree that its important to have 1:1 time.

 

If one of them is having a "break" (ie not working on school work) the other whines because her sister gets a break and then vice versa when we switch. I think I need to work on getting them to accept it though, because keeping one busy with school work while I work with the other isn't working out too well.

 

Oh, yes. And then you try to make lesson time extra special by being playful and maybe even having a little snack with it, and the one on break complains and wants her lesson. Or the one who's on break lurks and bellyaches because she wants someone to play with. It's hard!

[April in NC]

I have twins who are now 16 years old. When they were born I envisioned homeschooling being much easier. I thought it would be like having a little mini class. My twins are identical, and they are very similar in terms of their academic abilities and interests (or lack thereof!) But I found the same as others have said - skill subjects often went better if I worked with them individually. Mainly to reduce competition and feelings of discouragement, if one of them didn't pick up on something the exact same instant that the other did. 

 

I'm sure there were some days when it would have worked better to do everything completely separately, but there are only so many hours in the day! You are likely going to find that you will not be able to come to a perfectly ideal arrangement, and that's okay.  Having to wait their turn is a good skill for them to practice. It can be so frustrating for you to deal with juggling needs, but I'm sure you are very familiar with that process by now, having gotten your twins as far as you have! (That first year is a doozy)

 

I think expectations have a lot to do with it. When we are picking out curricula and materials we are envisioning our little ones happily enthralled, or at least moderately engaged, with the lessons we've put together. But the reality is that often there is a lot of sibling bickering and general fidgets and frustrations! My twins are dyslexic, but also perfectionists, so we had lots of frustrations along the way.  We did math separately for the most part. And when they were younger, we did reading separately, too. Only now, in Geometry, are they working together on math. Sometimes it goes better than others, but it's working okay, for the most part. We did history, science, art, etc. together. Yes, they still got on each others nerves or distracted each other from time to time, but we've survived, so far.

 

You may find you have to do some trial and error to figure out what works best for your crew. You may also find that what works best differs from year to year, depending on their development, your time constraints/health/energy/etc, and the materials that you are using.  Best of luck! It is hard, but very rewarding in the long run.

[bpskowski]

I have twin 3rd graders.  I do math and language arts together.  Sometimes in spelling (with AAS) I would physically be in between them to make them focus on the tile board and not on each other.  In math they do get competitive to see who "gets it" first.  But I teach until they both get it.  If one "gets it" much quicker than the other, then I'll become the student and she teaches both of us.  I ask leading questions to make sure they other understands and by her teaching I know she really understands.  I suppose they are both at similar levels.  The only thing I do individually is reading aloud.  They each sit with me and read through a passage at their level.  

 

I used to lose my patience when they were not paying attention, but now I expect it of them.  If they don't, they lose something (immediately - no warnings) like their screen time. Of course, I will tailor lessons to their patience level.  Short quick lessons, with enough breaks and snacks to keep them focused.

 

 

[rebbyribs]

My 7.5yo twins do almost everything together.  Well, they do the same curriculum, but a lot of what they do is more independent with me helping when they get stuck.  The only exception is spelling.  I think my daughter has mild dyslexia, while my son seems to pick up spelling from reading.  So I work through AAS lessons with my daughter, but I just quiz my son on the words each week and quickly go over the rule to make sure he gets it.  I also have a 5th grade and a K student plus 2 younger children, so I really try to combine where I can.

[tdbates78]

Thank you all for the tips and suggestions. Very much appreciated. Our school year is coming to an end and I'm going to use the summer to it them into place and come up with a plan. For my own sanity, they are going to have to learn patience while I work with the other. My twins are identical and think everything needs to be the same, all the time but our current arrangement just isn't working.

[Guest]

My two oldest are fifteen months apart and while they both have different strengths they're bright and competent for their ages. We taught the first three years with different levels, especially math, because one student learned to read more easily than the other. But now hats they're fourth and fifth graders they do every subject together except math, where the older one is twenty lessons ahead of the younger. Once both could read well we just started grouping them together, though the older student is capable of deeper analysis than the younger. But I have NO desire to have them on the same math lesson because they share a book and this assures everyone does their own work without the temptation of cheating ;)

[Guest]

Mine do all schoolwork separately. They hear the same audiobooks and watch the same shows, but that's the full extent of it. Oh wait no, they do memorize poetry together!

[tdbates78]

We will do SOTW, science and maybe WWE together. The other subjects I'm going to separate. Love the idea of audio books. I'm also looking at adding Wordly Wise online, which would help keep one busy. And of course silent reading. Its going to be difficult at firs but hopefully it will work itself out once they get used to the new routine. And as they each have their own set of strengths this will hopefully alleviate some of the competition and frustration.

Edited May 26, 2017 by tdbates78

[Guest]

My twins are 21 years old now, but I homeschooled them preK-12. They are identical twins, but mirror-imaged identicals (very rare). Hence, their development was completely identical, so I could teach them together on nearly all academic areas. However, they began to deviate from each other in high school as their interests diverged and their elective credits were different (One was STEM-y, one was liberal arts-y.) Today they are rising seniors in college, one majoring in engineering technology with a concentration in mechanical engineering, and one with a major in political science with a minor in Bible.

Edited May 26, 2017 by Kinsa

[keirin]

I home schooled my kindergarten age twins this last year. I got a lot of the advice you see in this thread last year when I asked almost the exact same question. :) It was good advice. I imagined that I could teach them everything together, but it really does help to split them up for some subjects - for us, reading and math. They do occasionally do reading or math together, too, it just depends on your curriculum. For example, some days we play games for math and those days we play the games together. Some days we read through books for math - like when we were learning how to tell time on an analog clock and I got a bunch of time books from the library - and we do those together. But I have found it easier to separate them when doing new concepts so that competitiveness doesn't come into play.

 

As for what to do with one twin while the other is working - I tend to use learning apps. We have an ipad so I'll have one twin work with me while the other does 20 minutes of Osmo or dreambox or dragonbox numbers or teach your monster to read. Then I swap and the other one does instruction while twin A does ipad. We don't do this every day - sometimes I just let one play while the other works, but I find it is helpful a lot of the time.

[Guest]

For kicks o asked my husband about this to confirm what I was doing with our girls was on track with his thoughts. He immediately said he liked keeping them apart of rmosf subjects because they're competitive and he didn't want hurt feelings over schoolwork when everyone has their own pace and skills.