This is just a vent- and a JAWM: Go Fund Me

[DawnM]

Dinner last night was interesting.  It was a particular group of people (not friends really, but our kids are in a club together so the parents sat together and the teens had a different table.)

 

Anyway, one of the moms was going on and on about their Europe trip, their beach house and how much time they will spend down there this summer (so the kids can't have a summer job), and their ski trip to Colorado this past year.  And they decided their 10 year old car was too old, so they upgraded "even though the old one still ran well" she added.   All fine, sounds wonderful, glad you have the resources to have those lovely things.

 

Then she said, "Oh, and my daughter has a project she is working on that will hopefully help her get into the college of her choice (dance related) and she has started a Go Fund Me page to get support for it.  She needs $5,000 to get all the costumes, choreography, and filming completed to turn in to the school with the hopes to get into this school her Freshman year of college.   I will give you all the link and if you would like to contribute, you can."

 

Um.......WHAT???????

 

 

 

[Rosie_0801]

"Oh goodness! Only $5,000? You can put that on your credit card!"

[bettyandbob]

Yeah I'd probably not be hanging around her much.

[Guest]

Did anyone just stop her and bluntly state that the combination of the two subjects was tacky in the extreme?

 

Because I think that would be a public service.

[DawnM]

Yeah I'd probably not be hanging around her much.

 

 

I don't.  But in situations like this, I really don't have a choice.  She tends to try to dominate the conversation, and I think she is compensating for something, but I just don't have time to deal with that unless you really are seeking help for your issues, then I can listen, offer advice, and help.   :laugh:

[kiwik]

Oh gosh.  Maybe you could sell your car and buy a cheaper one to get the money.

[SparklyUnicorn]

oh man.... :glare:

 

 

[Night Elf]

I don't mean to make excuses but that family could be in a heap of debt. Their vacations maxed out their credit cards. New car payments and increased insurance costs. And they probably live extravagantly in other ways. In other words, living above their means. Perhaps they think the Go Fund Me will keep them from going further into debt, or maybe they don't want to see their dd go into debt. They'll likely never learn how to live within their means until something drastic happens to make them re-evaluate their living style. Go Fund Me is an easy way to ask for money I think. Somehow it makes it ok to set it up as donations instead of asking outright for financial help. With a GFM, there is no expectation the person donating will get their money back whereas asking someone outright for cash/check might imply it's a loan.

 

The only Go Fund Me I've ever contributed to was for my BIL and that was totally justified. In fact, I didn't like to use GFM. I would have preferred sending him a check but one of my other BIL's said it would just be easiest to use GFM.

[catz]

However, to me it seems highly unlikely she needs to do a project with $5000 in costumes.  Heck, our dance studio has no costume fees and a very busy and productive costume shop.  She could revamp the project to be lower budget.  Or she could get off her butt to do some fundraising - get a job, host bake sale, garage sale, clothing exchanges, etc.  There are plenty of other options than go fund me.  That is just super obnoxious.

 

I only contribute if there is an extreme emergency - catastrophic health issues, house fire, emergency funeral funding, etc.  Kickstarter is a little better for this because at least you can offer a product or service in exchange for a donation.

[winterbaby]

In light of a couple other threads right now I'm wondering if this has anything to do with the "parents have no responsibilities past high school/age 18" idea. Or, they could just be really entitled.

[mom@shiloh]

This would have been one of those times that (for me) I would have been sorry later to have kept my mouth politely shut.  The woman needs a reality check.

[creekland]

I'll second the hedge that this family has a bit of debt and are living above their means trying to keep up with the Joneses.   They've just spent a bit doing what they think is necessary for life - "everyone else is doing it" - and don't have the extra to come up with 5K, so are asking for donations.  That's not terribly uncommon.

 

If they were truly wealthy (paid for everything), they wouldn't be asking.  They'd just cut a check.  They simply have no idea how most folks in the real world live.  They get their idea from TV commercials or neighbors or something else giving them a fictional ideal world.

 

I wouldn't be donating, of course.  Like others, we donate to real needs, not various wants.

[DawnM]

This would have been one of those times that (for me) I would have been sorry later to have kept my mouth politely shut.  The woman needs a reality check.

 

Yeah, I was sorry I didn't make a comment actually and I will if asked again.  

 

Maybe they are in debt.  Maybe they need to take a finance class.  Maybe I should suggest one!

 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lanny]

@DawnM   They have the $ to do all of those other things. Why is the $ 5K her DD needs such a big deal for them?    

 

OT: If your DH is not on LinkedIn he needs to be there to "Network". They say 80% of the jobs are filled by people you know or people someone you know knows.

[Scarlett]

GFM has become a joke.

 

I posted a link a while back for another fund raising site for a friend of ours who needs a very expensive surgery that insurance won't cover. I believe it is the only fund raising site I've ever donated to.

 

I have seen so many set up for people who are already living quite well. Ridiculous.

[Annie G]

We're friends with a couple who are both doctors and do quite well financially. Their oldest daughter is a senior this year and is using a Go Fund Me to raise money for a trip to accompany a medical mission.  The mom told me how proud they are that their dd raised the money herself, that it was a better lesson than having her parents just write a check.  Huh? She didn't raise the money by working, she set up a Go Fund Me page. 

 

 

[Garga]

I've run into this view on finances before. It's infuriating. They think they should have everything they want and don't understand now to deny themselves in one area to pay for another area.

 

Sometimes I think the people with this mindset are astoundingly selfish. And other times I think it's a family thing that's passed down from parent to child and they are truely unaware that there's another way out there to do things.

 

I went on a little day trip to the ocean with a friend of mine. She was in the middle of a financial difficulty, but while we were there she showed me a sweatshirt and said, "I think I'll get this." I said, "But why? You don't have the money and you have a bunch of those at home." (She did--the beach was close to home.)

 

She said, "But we're on a trip. Don't I have to buy a souvineer?" I said, "No." She asked if I was going to buy something and I said, "No. I don't want to spend the money on it."

 

She was astonished and walked away like someone who had seen the light. "You're right! I don't *have* to buy this! I have others at home!"

 

It was a new concept to her. She seemed to feel that she *had* to buy things and didn't realize she was in charge of what she bought and was allowed to say "no".

 

That was eye-opening for both of us. I got a little more compassion for people who live like that, though they're still infuriating. Some of them are selfish and some just don't know a different way and think we all live that way.

Edited May 24, 2017 by Garga

[DawnM]

We're friends with a couple who are both doctors and do quite well financially. Their oldest daughter is a senior this year and is using a Go Fund Me to raise money for a trip to accompany a medical mission.  The mom told me how proud they are that their dd raised the money herself, that it was a better lesson than having her parents just write a check.  Huh? She didn't raise the money by working, she set up a Go Fund Me page. 

 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

And SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rebel Yell]

As a parent of dancers/performers/artists... what school and major is she trying to get into? Is it common for people to spend that much money and actually get admitted? Diamond prepared a video dance audition for a top dance college- an iPhone video, in a $40 leotard, filmed in a friend's dance studio was more than enough. Money spent can't prop up poor technique, and a minimalist video won't hide good technique.

 

Even if she was going to something like video production, often a concept video and storyboard tells enough.

[SKL]

While I understand why this is ridiculous and funny, I try to avoid assuming the cost of things people do.  I do have normal and humble friends who have access to summer cottages and affordable international travel.

 

I am not sure what to feel about GoFundMe.  I mean, I'm glad it's there for people who really need it.  I've contributed to a couple causes I considered worthy, where I'm not close enough to the person to hand over a check or cash.  But looking at a random list of GoFundMe projects can be quite hilarious.  The most amazing thing is that some of them actually get significant donations for their random / selfish pursuits.

 

Then again, I don't like in-person fundraisers for "me" projects either.  Like the large teens wanting me to donate money so they can go on a Spring break trip.

 

Nothing wrong with doing a fundraiser to help people in need.  But I guess the younger generation may need some guidance as to what passes for "need" these days.

 

And, as for being proud of my kid for doing a charity fundraiser, I think that's fine, but I'm more concerned about modeling the giving side of things where I can.

[catz]

We're friends with a couple who are both doctors and do quite well financially. Their oldest daughter is a senior this year and is using a Go Fund Me to raise money for a trip to accompany a medical mission.  The mom told me how proud they are that their dd raised the money herself, that it was a better lesson than having her parents just write a check.  Huh? She didn't raise the money by working, she set up a Go Fund Me page. 

 

:confused1:  How is that "raising" money herself!?  Ick.  So a bunch of their friends and relatives wrote checks instead? 

 

I don't fault people enjoying vehicles or vacations they can afford.  I don't fault people for wanting their kids to have a work ethic.  Setting up a Go Fund Me to finance something an able bodied teen or young adult wants to do is NOT instilling a work ethic or raising funds on your own! 

[catz]

As a parent of dancers/performers/artists... what school and major is she trying to get into? Is it common for people to spend that much money and actually get admitted? Diamond prepared a video dance audition for a top dance college- an iPhone video, in a $40 leotard, filmed in a friend's dance studio was more than enough. Money spent can't prop up poor technique, and a minimalist video won't hide good technique.

 

Even if she was going to something like video production, often a concept video and storyboard tells enough.

 

:iagree: We have a dancer at our studio who was wooed by a bunch of fancy programs with simple video set up.  She is an amazing dancer with a work ethic.   I just can't imagine what she thinks she needs to do that would cost that kind of money. 

[DawnM]

As a parent of dancers/performers/artists... what school and major is she trying to get into? Is it common for people to spend that much money and actually get admitted? Diamond prepared a video dance audition for a top dance college- an iPhone video, in a $40 leotard, filmed in a friend's dance studio was more than enough. Money spent can't prop up poor technique, and a minimalist video won't hide good technique.

 

Even if she was going to something like video production, often a concept video and storyboard tells enough.

 

 

I have no idea if it is common.  I just smiled and nodded.  I am not engaging the conversation further than it needs to go!

[SKL]

I actually think raising donations to help with a medical mission is understandable.  If I understand "medical mission" correctly ....

 

If the fund-raiser were from a low-income family, wouldn't most people would consider it commendable for her to raise donations for a medical mission?  Is there a reason why kids in high-income families should not be allowed to have that experience / satisfaction?  Though I guess it would be better if they were raising the funds for low-income classmates to go.  The children of doctors have access to bigger donors, so that's not a level playing field.

[SamanthaCarter]

This is so interesting to me, because I almost never see this. Every once a while I see something in my feed to help a friend of a friend with cancer or medical related expenses, and the last time I was hit up for a missions trip donation was a few years ago with a physical letter. I clearly don't live in this world. The teens at our church go on a summer trip every year, but they usually just fund it themselves or put themselves out in the church wide announcements for donations in return for odd jobs and babysitting. Eagle Scouts and others with service projects usually ask for specific stuff, not money. 

[kroe1]

If you like the child, explain to the parents that you need some work done and would the child like to help. You can contribute that way.

 

I relate well, however, to the GoFundMe insanity. I will not contribute one iota to it if the person or group has a way to work for his needs. I will not even participate in candy sales or other fund raisers for my own kids. I just write a check for the event.

[bolt.]

While this does sound absurd -- I do consider it important for late teens to have "independence projects". This would be something where they show initiative and possibly entrepreneurship, but it's likely to be immaturely managed and possibly aimed at an immature goal.

 

I don't think having "parents of means" should mean that teens are denied those types of experiences just because their parents "could" cut a cheque for any/all of the teen's goals. That's just saying, "If your parents are rich, it's tacky for you to try to fund projects on your own." (In fact, richer parents have a harder time teaching these lessons or manufacturing the experiences by saying 'not with our cash' -- compared with families where there isn't enough cash and the opportunities create themselves.)

 

Of course any immature teen is going to think "go fund me" for their personal goals is a fantastic idea! However, part of the learning my really should be that selfish go-fund-mes tend to flop, and she should try another method. The parent should not be encouraging false success by fundraising her friends. I'd expect a teen to ask (and be told, 'no, dear') -- I don't expect the parents to ask for her. (Maybe the dad is creating the "independence project" and the mom is undermining it because she really wants her daughter's goal too?)

 

My parents are very well off, but as a late teen I was never under the impression that their money was for my goals -- my goals were my responsibility.

[Tap]

I totally agree with you.

 

Just to add a comment to the Go Fund Me discussion.

 

I have a son who is a pastor and whose church has mission trip options for the teens a few times per year. My son went on a mission trip and was a competitive swimmer.  My daughter was a cheerleader for 5 years (10 seasons). It isn't an ASB or Booster supported sport at her school, which unfortunately required a lot of fundraising by the students.   We have lived in constant fundraising mode for 12 years.

 

I refused to allow my kids to send out general requests for money for their endeavors. For my son's mission trip to Haiti, he was encouraged by the church to send out letters asking for donations. My daughters cheer team had a 'requirement' of sending 10-20 emails to family/friends/businesses to request donations. For my daughter there were cookie dough and bread sales. Honestly though,  I know that most of the bigger money raised by the other families, was through donation fundraising.  So many potential donors will say, "I don't want $18 cookie dough".  But if you ask them for $10 donation, they will donate cash thinking that the entire $10 will go to the team.  Unfortunately, the online companies for donations all take a cut anyways, so the team doesn't get the whole $10.

 

People want to say....make them work for the money.  But honestly, it was harder for my kids to find people who would give them a way to actually earn it, than just give it to them as a donation.  It was that the person donating wanted the easy way out and just wanted to use the Go Fund ME style of donation system. 

 

This was Especially true in the more wealthy circles that my daughter traveled in (she went to an elite private school on scholarship).  The parents didn't want to be bothered by figuring out something for the kid to do. They had gardeners. Their cars were detailed for them. They already had babysitters who were certified in child care. etc.   They just wanted to be asked politely, for it to be a tax write off, and to be able to do their part on a computer. Quite honestly, if the family in the OPs post, travels in a wealthier circle of people, it is likely the standard for them to just ask for money.

 

I hate fundraising so much, that I just bought my kids out of all the fundraising events.  In the early years, I would try to participate, but over time, I found it easier to just earn the money  myself. I make more money working overtime and then giving my kids a chance to earn the money doing things for me instead. LOL I pay them what I bring home in equal hours of work. It was a system that worked for us.  The kids got paid a fair wage and had to earn their money by actual work.

[DawnM]

I totally agree with you.

 

Just to add a comment to the Go Fund Me discussion.

 

I have a son who is a pastor and whose church has mission trip options for the teens a few times per year. My son went on a mission trip and was a competitive swimmer.  My daughter was a cheerleader for 5 years (10 seasons). It isn't an ASB or Booster supported sport at her school, which unfortunately required a lot of fundraising by the students.   We have lived in constant fundraising mode for 12 years.

 

I refused to allow my kids to send out general requests for money for their endeavors. For my son's mission trip to Haiti, he was encouraged by the church to send out letters asking for donations. My daughters cheer team had a 'requirement' of sending 10-20 emails to family/friends/businesses to request donations. For my daughter there were cookie dough and bread sales. Honestly though,  I know that most of the bigger money raised by the other families, was through donation fundraising.  So many potential donors will say, "I don't want $18 cookie dough".  But if you ask them for $10 donation, they will donate cash thinking that the entire $10 will go to the team.  Unfortunately, the online companies for donations all take a cut anyways, so the team doesn't get the whole $10.

 

People want to say....make them work for the money.  But honestly, it was harder for my kids to find people who would give them a way to actually earn it, than just give it to them as a donation.  It was that the person donating wanted the easy way out and just wanted to use the Go Fund ME style of donation system. 

 

This was Especially true in the more wealthy circles that my daughter traveled in (she went to an elite private school on scholarship).  The parents didn't want to be bothered by figuring out something for the kid to do. They had gardeners. Their cars were detailed for them. They already had babysitters who were certified in child care. etc.   They just wanted to be asked politely, for it to be a tax write off, and to be able to do their part on a computer. Quite honestly, if the family in the OPs post, travels in a wealthier circle of people, it is likely the standard for them to just ask for money.

 

I hate fundraising so much, that I just bought my kids out of all the fundraising events.  In the early years, I would try to participate, but over time, I found it easier to just earn the money  myself. I make more money working overtime and then giving my kids a chance to earn the money doing things for me instead. LOL I pay them what I bring home in equal hours of work. It was a system that worked for us.  The kids got paid a fair wage and had to earn their money by actual work.

 

 

I was THRILLED this year to find out that the new scout troop we are in doesn't sell popcorn.  They do a BBQ/Pig Roast.  We worked that thing all weekend, but it was a great fundraiser.  We did buy some, but I would rather have pounds of BBQ sitting around the house than that popcorn!

 

And my son has gone to Mexico (to work in an orphanage with the church) for the last 2 summers.  Summer Camp is $350 and the Mexico trip is $850.  My parents offered to pay a little more than half and my son was more than willing to give up summer camp, so we just paid for it.

[Word Nerd]

A young extended family member started one because she wanted to visit Europe. I thought, "Me too!" I guess people think it doesn't hurt to ask. I only donate when the request is for a crisis situation, and only to people I know. There are too many scammers who set up Go Fund Me accounts with fake sob stories. I know on a local Facebook group, someone caught a poster from a different town posting the same request for assistance in two different places—only in one she was the one with cancer and in the other, it was her husband. 

[Catwoman]

"Oh goodness! Only $5,000? You can put that on your credit card!"

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[Catwoman]

Yeah, I was sorry I didn't make a comment actually and I will if asked again.

 

Maybe they are in debt. Maybe they need to take a finance class. Maybe I should suggest one!

 

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even if they are in debt, they can still skip a vacation to pay for their dd's expenses. If they were going to charge the $5,000.00 to buy something for themselves anyway, it wouldn't kill them to show some generosity to their dd instead.

 

I'm not in favor of spending frivolously when you can't afford it, but it sounds like these people are going to do it anyway, so why should other people have to donate money to their dd?

 

I would have been as annoyed as you were. I think Rosie's suggestion was perfect!

[Meadowlark]

Oh, this REALLY gets under my skin!

 

There is a family here that has put 2 GoFundMe links on the mom's Facebook page. One was for their daughter's bipolar medication, and the other because they were "going through a rough time" and needed some help because disability wouldn't come through for a few weeks.  These are 2 middle age educated people with 3 semi-grown kids. And it's the MOM who puts it on HER page. I can almost not even believe it.

[Carol in Cal.]

Sometimes kids are required to do a fundraising letter or a go fund me by their organization.

 

I got the greatest letter from an old friend a couple of years ago.  Basically it said, "Dear old friend, our daughter is required to send out these letters; however, we don't want you to send in any money.  We have this covered already."  (It was far more diplomatic than that, but that was the gist of it.)  And a fundraising letter was enclosed.  I thought that was nice--the girl was not put into the position of either lying or failing to participate, and yet the parents stepped up.

[Melissa in Australia]

Personally I don't see anything different from go fund me and begging for money on the street ( other thread)

[winterbaby]

Oh, this REALLY gets under my skin!

 

There is a family here that has put 2 GoFundMe links on the mom's Facebook page. One was for their daughter's bipolar medication, and the other because they were "going through a rough time" and needed some help because disability wouldn't come through for a few weeks.  These are 2 middle age educated people with 3 semi-grown kids. And it's the MOM who puts it on HER page. I can almost not even believe it.

 

I'm middle aged and educated... and I struggle financially. It would take a lot to push me to GFM but never say never. I don't see what's so wrong with asking.

 

Another thought about the OP though, maybe the parents are perfectly aware that spending $5,000 on costumes etc. is not how you get into a serious dance program and that's why they're not paying for it.

 

[Carol in Cal.]

 

 

Another thought about the OP though, maybe the parents are perfectly aware that spending $5,000 on costumes etc. is not how you get into a serious dance program and that's why they're not paying for it.

 

 

Good point.

 

I know someone who got into one of those modeling scams--she thought that if she paid her airfare to Italy and 'a few' expenses that she would make her fortune as a supermodel.  She sent fundraising letters to everybody she knew.  It was both sad and annoying.  Obviously if they really wanted her they would have paid for her travel and such.

[DawnM]

I'm middle aged and educated... and I struggle financially. It would take a lot to push me to GFM but never say never. I don't see what's so wrong with asking.

 

Another thought about the OP though, maybe the parents are perfectly aware that spending $5,000 on costumes etc. is not how you get into a serious dance program and that's why they're not paying for it.

 

 

Not sure about that.  She spent a good deal of time explaining why it was so expensive.

[DawnM]

"Oh goodness! Only $5,000? You can put that on your credit card!"

 

 

Or, "You are so wealthy, surely you can write a check with all the bragging!~"

[HS Mom in NC]

I would only consider donating to a GFM if it was a genuine emergency: medical care, disaster relief, tragic circumstances, etc.

Costumes, choreography and filming don't cut it for me; pay for it yourself.

 

My response would be, "Well, if I need to hire out some work, or if I hear of anyone who else who does, I'll let her know."

[itsheresomewhere]

We used to have a neighbor have her daughter go around to each neighbors houses and ask for donations for her praying for them. All the money she "earned" would be put towards her camp with her youth group.

[Meadowlark]

I'm middle aged and educated... and I struggle financially. It would take a lot to push me to GFM but never say never. I don't see what's so wrong with asking.

 

Another thought about the OP though, maybe the parents are perfectly aware that spending $5,000 on costumes etc. is not how you get into a serious dance program and that's why they're not paying for it.

 

This 2nd GFM page was posted on her facebook account about 1 month after the first one. Maybe I'm being callous, but paying for your child's medication? When did that become other people's responsibility? And  "going through rough times"...well, we all go through rough times, but doesn't mean we ask people for donations because unless it's a tragedy or a real emergency, I'd consider myself responsible for what's happening.

[FaithManor]

I think when she brought up contributing to the gofundme I would have been tempted to say, "I only donate to well vetted non profits, but if she would like to come clean behind my refrigerator and weed the flower bed, I have a $20 bill for her."

 

Good grief. Very very crass.

[FaithManor]

We used to have a neighbor have her daughter go around to each neighbors houses and ask for donations for her praying for them. All the money she "earned" would be put towards her camp with her youth group.

That makes me want to throw up! We need a vomit emoticon.

[winterbaby]

This 2nd GFM page was posted on her facebook account about 1 month after the first one. Maybe I'm being callous, but paying for your child's medication? When did that become other people's responsibility? And  "going through rough times"...well, we all go through rough times, but doesn't mean we ask people for donations because unless it's a tragedy or a real emergency, I'd consider myself responsible for what's happening.

 

That's easy to say unless you've been there. We don't all go through rough times if going through rough times means being reduced to begging. I personally would assume that "rough times" covered details to which I wasn't privy and which I might privately ask about if I was unsure of the propriety of giving. But maybe there's some other information you're not sharing as to how you know she wasn't really in need because I can't believe you're actually asserting that everyone has a choice to just avoid financial distress and has no right to so much as ASK for help.

 

Medical needs for my child are one thing that would push me to that humiliating position faster than a lot of things. Because yes it's my responsibility - to get it, however I can, short of hurting others. Asking does not hurt others.

[KungFuPanda]

As a parent of dancers/performers/artists... what school and major is she trying to get into? Is it common for people to spend that much money and actually get admitted? Diamond prepared a video dance audition for a top dance college- an iPhone video, in a $40 leotard, filmed in a friend's dance studio was more than enough. Money spent can't prop up poor technique, and a minimalist video won't hide good technique.

 

Even if she was going to something like video production, often a concept video and storyboard tells enough.

 

Maybe she sucks and the cost includes special effects.  I'll bet you didn't think of THAT, did you Judgy McJudginson?

[scoutingmom]

That's easy to say unless you've been there. We don't all go through rough times if going through rough times means being reduced to begging. I personally would assume that "rough times" covered details to which I wasn't privy and which I might privately ask about if I was unsure of the propriety of giving. But maybe there's some other information you're not sharing as to how you know she wasn't really in need because I can't believe you're actually asserting that everyone has a choice to just avoid financial distress and has no right to so much as ASK for help.

 

Medical needs for my child are one thing that would push me to that humiliating position faster than a lot of things. Because yes it's my responsibility - to get it, however I can, short of hurting others. Asking does not hurt others.

I agree with this. I have experienced not being able to pay for a medical need. And I would assume that "going through a rough time" (especially pared with asking for help to pay for medication) is a euphanism for a financial emergency. Choosing whether water or electricity is more important in their life, for example. I have never donated on gofundme, but I would rather help with this person than raising funds for costumes etc.

 

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

[Soror]

It surprises me that anyone gives money to such endeavors. 

 

Rich kids begging other people to pay their way doesn't teach responsibility any more than their parents paying, it just transfers the responsibility to someone else. 

 

Begging people to pay for something is for actual needs not wants and certainly not wants that you could afford but just choose not to pay. I totally understand GFM's for medical expenses(unless it is elective cosmetic surgery or something) or unexpected funeral expenses. Medical costs are outrageous and can quickly become overwhelming even for those that are not "poor." It can bankrupt a family fast. I can not ever see myself donating to a mission trip, at best most of those are more focused on the experience for the kid than helping those in need, the money would be better spent given directly to organizations that help in such areas.

 

This reminds me of Scouts. They have Camperships which pay half of summer camp, it was the policy of the Scout Master to put every single boy down to receive one, because hey, it's free money. One guy didn't find out until he was told he didn't qualify(dual income professional job), he was embarrassed and angry. This year some of the boys are going on a kayaking trip which costs $1400, this is a fun extra- no badge work or advancement tied to this trip. Yet, a good number of the boys going on this trip are taking camperships for summer camp. If your family can afford for you to attend a $1400 kayaking trip they can cover the $135. 

 

I remember one time we had some hs classes and charged like $2 each, as an incentive to get people to show up, one lady was ranting to me about paying for this while holding fast food bags in her hand and telling me about how they had just traveled out of town for some specialized art supplies. 

Edited May 25, 2017 by soror

[lauraw4321]

I read an article about a guy who was wanted for a robbery and posted a GFM to help him get a lawyer or sneak out of the city. They took it down.

[GailV]

We used to have a neighbor have her daughter go around to each neighbors houses and ask for donations for her praying for them. All the money she "earned" would be put towards her camp with her youth group.

 

Oh my, I would probably blurt out something about selling indulgences and start laughing in girl's face.  (Then be embarrassed about my continuous lack of social graces.)  Yikes, why would someone have their child do something like that?