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DD7 wants to do Summer Rec.....


Emmalm
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Which in itself is no problem. Both DD5 and DD7 have done T-ball and "advanced" T-ball, respectively, the past two years. DD5 wants to play t-ball again this summer which I have no problem with. She is a scrappy girl and fairly sporty, so far. DD7, on the other hand....well...not so much.

 

It is actually quite painful, though endearing for her family, to watch. It takes her about 7 tries to actually hit the ball, when she gets on base she just stands there staring about until another runner "magically" appears by her side telling her to run to the next base. She spent almost an entire game last year not watching the game in which she was playing, but the game in the next diamond over! She is the sweetest girl and very talented in many ways, just not in this way. It would actually be quite hilarious if it wasn't so painful. If any of you out there know the British tv show "Jeeves and Wooster," imagine Madeline Basset playing softball. Yeah.

 

I would not have a problem letting her play again, but she is the only girl that plays (there are only three girls in her class if she were in public school), and by this age the boys actually can and want to play. Really play. I don't want them to get frustrated with her not doing well and being mean to her.

 

I tried to gently dissuade her tonight at dinner ("there aren't any girls...it didn't seem like you really enjoyed it...etc" She still says she wants to play, but I really don't think she should. I am trying to find another activity to maybe distract her with. DH doesn't really see a problem letting her try again, but man, I really don't want to have to watch that again...it hurts to know the other moms and kids are grumbling about her (which she is thankfully oblivious to still). Do I let her play and just see what happens, or do I say no?

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I'd say, "No, I've registered you in xyz instead. I'm sure you will like it just as much. Plus, you can still go to the t-ball games when sister plays. That will be fun to watch."

 

I wouldn't try to get her to change her mind, I'd just make the decision and tell her what happening without any sense of wheedling.

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Your dd is definitely not alone in the "picking dandilions" type of t-ball and softball. It's the adults who organize these situations for young children to try and navigate games with a lot of complex rules that are really at fault there. They are sort of age appropriate, but not really. And they are very boring for many of the participants. Far better to simply play low-organized games with friends and neighbours at the local parks and open spaces at these young ages. 

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As the kids get older, that kind of lack of attention can get dangerous as well as not being fair to teammates. (I would distinguish here between a kid who is trying her hardest--even if she sucked at baseball, that's fine in a rec league!) I might tell her it was full or didn't fit the family schedule and find another activity that would be safe and fun for her.

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The lack of attention bit sounds like my ADHD kids; if you see other signs of difficulty focusing/sustaining attention you may want to consider evaluations (note: I'm not trying to give your kid a diagnosis, just offering the reason behind the inattention in my own kids; it looks even stranger when a child has their head in the clouds on the basketball court!)

 

What do you have in mind as an alternate activity?

Edited by maize
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Have you asked what, exactly, it is that she likes that makes her want to do it? My daughter didn't want to quit dance, although she didn't seem to like it, either...when I asked what she liked, she said the costume and getting flowers at the recital. I asked if getting a costume (cheap on amazon) for Christmas and getting flowers after her violin recital meant that she would try something else, and she was happy. When she quit putting an effort into baseball, I asked what she liked...trophies. So, if there was a chance to win a medal at karate, and you get different belts to wear...and now she is in karate, which she loves more than she ever liked dance or baseball.

 

I always tell the kids that I don't want to put more effort into getting them to their activities than they put into doing the activity, so if their enthusiasm wanes, I find that sometimes the reason that we're still doing the activity isn't really because of the activity itself. One of my kids has stuck with the same set of things for years, and the other has tried a couple of new things - sometimes it takes a while to find a good fit. And, as the mom of a baseball kid, I agree that the likelihood of getting hurt increases as the kids get bigger. My son gave a distracted teammate a black eye in practice when the kid wasn't paying attention and the ball hit him in the face.

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T-ball will ALWAYS be more entertainment than sport. You are doing a disservice to your community by removing a key character. Anyone who takes t-ball seriously enough to get annoyed by your daughter is ridiculous. I say let her do it then maybe redirect if she starts talking real baseball. Nobody is going to the t-ball Olympics so she's not interfering with anything. Let her enjoy it.

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I assume at 7yo she is playing baseball now and not tball? IMO, t-ball is painful to watch no matter how athletic your kid is or isn't.

 

My oldest was in a couple athletic sports that she thought she loved. By the way she played, I knew she couldn't truly love those particular sports. She clearly didn't have strong skills. We moved her into different types of sports, and she found her passion. These types fit her so much better.

 

I would find her an activity that fits her rather than having her do something that fits her sister.

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I can see both sides.  I agree that no sane person takes T-ball seriously.  And boys her age who are getting serious about ball should be able to move on to pitch baseball or whatever it's called.  If anyone said anything nasty in my hearing about my non-athletic kid in her recreational sport, I'd give them (or their parents / coach) a piece of my mind!  I know she isn't olympic material, that's why she's in rec stuff.  She still needs exercise like everyone else.

 

However, T-ball doesn't seem to be a developmental benefit to your daughter at this time.  I would rather she try a different activity where she may do better, or at least learn different skills.  Can you tell her that, as she is turning 8 this year, she is getting too old for T-ball?  There are so many other activities that can use more of her body and mind.

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Let her play! It's T-ball and it doesn't matter if she's good at it or not. Buy a tee and let her swing away at home. I would not discourage her interests, but I would definitely help her practice a little at home. You might see a huge difference this year. Honestly, one doesn't have to be great, or even good at something to enjoy it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks for all your thoughts! I totally agree about the taking t-ball seriously but in this town, like many small towns, sports is the ultimate thing. The parents are there cheering and the kids have cleats. Not joking. I think she mostly liked just people-watching, which is much more interesting than a game of t-ball! She likes feeling that she is a part of something, but isn't one to jump right in on the action.

 

So after some research into what was available, we ended up saying she could do summer ballet lessons which is MUCH more up her alley! And she is very excited. Now we only have to suffer through *ahem* enjoy her little sisters t-ball games!

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Thanks for all your thoughts! I totally agree about the taking t-ball seriously but in this town, like many small towns, sports is the ultimate thing. The parents are there cheering and the kids have cleats. Not joking. I think she mostly liked just people-watching, which is much more interesting than a game of t-ball! She likes feeling that she is a part of something, but isn't one to jump right in on the action.

 

So after some research into what was available, we ended up saying she could do summer ballet lessons which is MUCH more up her alley! And she is very excited. Now we only have to suffer through *ahem* enjoy her little sisters t-ball games!

 

Great job, mom, on finding an alternative activity!

 

Re: cheering and cleats - these don't necessarily equate to "serious sport." Used cleats are $2 used around here, and cheering usually includes plenty of laughing as several children are picking daisies when the ball eventually comes their way. T-ball is a pretty goofy "sport."  Just laugh and try not to take anything too seriously. All the kids are learning out there and no one's on the way to pro sports just yet. ;) It's entertainment for the parents more than anything, 

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