Life in small Houses - JAWM

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Please don't quote

 

DS is home for the summer and there is nowhere to put him. Our 1200 sq , 2.5 bedroom home is full. I had hoped DD and DGD would have been able to move out by now but, no, they're still here taking up lots of room. DS has no bedroom, no closet, no space.

 

I feel like a total failure by not being able to provide the basics for my family.   :(

 

ETA: We're washing all of his dorm room stuff today and repacking it for summer storage. I have no idea where it's all going to go.

 

ETA2: I'm tempted to set up the pop up camper and let him live in that for the summer. I wonder if there are laws pertaining to camper living in the driveway? Although I have camping plans since we cannot afford a real vacation so that won't work either.

Edited May 21, 2017 by Scoutermom

[wintermom]

Sorry the dc are in this state. Are both of your children adults? Can you let them work it out themselves. If you have X house, and an open door policy for your dc, then they can figure out a solution without you having to stress about it. They aren't little kids anymore. At some point they need to grow up and be independent, right? That is actually really good for them, from all I've heard and experienced. It's not your problem, it's their problem. 

Edited May 21, 2017 by wintermom

[JanetC]

Setting up the camper sounds like a good temporary solution at least.

 

I made a guest room for my mom by taking the dining room furniture out to the garage and walling off some private space with old science fair boards. A small mobile garment rack (purchased for dance recitals) made a temporary closet.

 

A different time when hosting a mom and kid, I created a somewhat separate "bedroom" for the child with an ikea play tent in the corner of the bedroom where I was hosting the mom.

 

Just try to find a way to make the close quarters as comfortable as you can and realize it won't be perfect.

[freesia]

When we moved on to my MILs and sil and Bol were unexpectedly still there, we had three kids. The kids and sil had rooms. Dh, Ds and I had the dining room with a sheet and bookcase to block it off. It wasn't perfect, but we made it work for seven months.

[Garga]

IKEA has these metal wires that can be attached to the wall and then curtains can be hung from them.  You can split a room into two that way. 

 

Do you have a dining room that can serve as a bedroom, using some curtains like that for privacy?  The table would have to be taken apart and propped up against a wall.  Everyone eats on tv trays in the living room if the kitchen is too small for eating?

 

My house is pretty small, too, and I constantly feel hemmed in and crammed.  Each room is so small.  It's not like the rooms are over-stuffed.  They're just so small. 

Edited May 21, 2017 by Garga

[Garga]

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60075295/

 

Here is an example of the curtain wire.  The wire can be strung across the room, it doesn't have to be close to the wall like in this picture.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Thank you, Garga. I'm going to see if DH and I can stop by an IKEA as we drive to CO this week. 

 

I've had a couple of hours to relax and think this through and you know what...it is what it is. How lucky are we that all 5 of us can be together? It will be cramped and we'll be under each other's feet  but I'm going to do my best to make this a time of joy and help them make memories.  DS isn't stressed about it. I am.  DGD is thrilled to have Uncle home and she has plans for him. :D

 

 

 

[Arcadia]

The maximum people we have staying in our 865sqft condo was 5 adults 2 kids.

We have one bedroom so our only bedroom could put a queen and two twin mattresses. Our dining room has a single sofa bed and we could put an inflatable single bed if we need to. Our living room can put three mattresses. During the day time, the mattresses were just flipped to the side and leaned against the wall or piled onto the sofa bed, or both.

 

Our dining room entrance is such that it is the width of a double door. We can just use a curtain tension rod and hang an opaque curtain for more privacy. My neighbor installed a double door for his dining room to make it into a permanent guest room.

[klmama]

Congratulations on having everyone home!  I hope you build some great memories and that your dc are able to cement solid relationships with each other as adults. There's almost always a way to make sleeping space.  A friend's brother and family lived in a tiny, tiny apartment in Sydney.  The baby slept in with them, and they cut some plywood to fit over the tub and put a crib mattress on it for their toddler.  It could all lean against the wall in the hallway when people needed to bathe.

 

 

[Hoggirl]

Is a futon an option? I think I'd prefer that to propping up a mattress against the wall during the day. Friends who have a 2Br 2 BA condo have a futon and keep two of those flat dorm-type twin mattresses underneath that can be pulled out as needed as well. I think a futon can be purchased pretty inexpensively at Walmart.

[J-rap]

We have a smallish house too, but I figure it's a good learning experience for our kids!  They've grown up knowing how to be happy with simplicity.  :)  Thankfully we do have a screened-in porch, so for half the year when the weather is nice enough and our kids are home, a couple of them might end up sleeping out there.  (We even put dressers out there at one point, when they were younger.)  When the weather is colder, we have a click-clack couch that opens up into a bed, and then bring out a standup room divider to give them privacy.  It's actually a cozy space and my kids kind of like it, even though everyone has to pass it on their way to the bathroom.

 

We have some good friends who put their little pop-up trailer in their backyard for when their dd is home in the summers.  She loves it! 

[freesia]

Thank you, Garga. I'm going to see if DH and I can stop by an IKEA as we drive to CO this week. 

 

I've had a couple of hours to relax and think this through and you know what...it is what it is. How lucky are we that all 5 of us can be together? It will be cramped and we'll be under each other's feet  but I'm going to do my best to make this a time of joy and help them make memories.  DS isn't stressed about it. I am.  DGD is thrilled to have Uncle home and she has plans for him. :D

 

Great!  I think it will go  better than you think.  Honestly, in the situation I referenced above, my biggest stressors were that BIL worked at night and slept during the day and the SIL never did a lick with housework.  The sleeping in the dining room thing was no problem.

[wintermom]

Just out of curiosity, what does a .5 bedroom mean? I've heard of 2.5 bathrooms, but not bedrooms. I cannot picture it. Maybe it's like Harry Potter's room under the stairs?  :laugh:

[Laurel-in-CA]

Inflatable mattresses are what we use when we have guests. I slept on one for a whole summer after we had given away our furniture prior to moving and our house didn't sell as quickly as hoped. You can inflate/deflate each day if need be, flip a single switch. Or put a dome tent or your popup trailer in the back yard. We've done that as guests and it was nice because there was separate space for us.

 

May this time together be a blessing and may you all pull together to make it work.

[Guest]

Can you close off your living room? I can't but I still slept on the couch during the years I had opposite gender teens in a two bedroom and then just instituted the policy that the most recent returnee gets the couch but once a sibling says they are going to move out, they will be believed and the sibling who was on the couch gets to move into the bedroom within the hour.

 

This went on for years.

 

There's a space between two bookcases to stash a sleeping bag. My landlord is cool with Army duffles behind the couch, so depending on your landlord's politics, he might be more willing look the other way with different luggage.

 

You have succeeded in providing the basics for your family. Your ds is not on the streets or in a homeless shelter. Our generation is living through different historical events than our parents did, so our lives look a little different too.

 

When I was about your ds' age, I lived in a studio (single room + bathroom + hot plate) apartment with seven other people. We rolled up our sleeping bags when we weren't using them.

Edited May 21, 2017 by Guest

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Just out of curiosity, what does a .5 bedroom mean? I've heard of 2.5 bathrooms, but not bedrooms. I cannot picture it. Maybe it's like Harry Potter's room under the stairs?  :laugh:

The room is tiny, 7 X 8 with no closet and a sloped ceiling. It also has a funky area that is a lot like a built in shelf (it's about 18 inches high and 8 inches deep) where the staircase goes under the room.  It does have a window and a small heat register. The house is technically a two bedroom with a bonus room. 

[lisabees]

When all 8 of us are here, we have a couple kids sleep on couches.  Our family room has ceiling to floor curtains that close it off from the only other common area.  Our house is one floor and very small.  I understand what you mean about feeling awful about not being able to provide enough space for your children.  I feel it.

 

I evaluate homeschoolers and, last year, one family left exclaiming how HUGE our house was.  It's all relative!

 

Enjoy your family.  I recall someone saying about large families, "If you think my hands are full, you should see my heart."  Maybe we can just swap in the word house instead of hands!

 

ETA:  I am currently in my son's room, because one of the girls needs to use the computer in our bedroom.  I have had such a full, giving day and all I want is to shower and be on the laptop in MY bed, alone.  But, alas....

 

 

Edited May 22, 2017 by lisabees

[Guest]

Just out of curiosity, what does a .5 bedroom mean? I've heard of 2.5 bathrooms, but not bedrooms. I cannot picture it. Maybe it's like Harry Potter's room under the stairs? :laugh:

Personally, I want Harry's room under the stairs. I can't think of a bedroom I would rather have then my own nook beneath the stairs.

[Grantmom]

My grandmother's house, the house that my mom grew up in, had split level stairs, and a little tiny room under the stairs, with a little set of double doors and everything.  I always wanted to play in there!  But it was always full of Christmas decorations and other stuff!!

[Guest]

Oh my. Wanna know what my house looks like right now, now that my three college boys are home? I have three who don't fit into my tiny government abode.

 

We bought a truck camper to serve as an extra bedroom in our driveway. My two oldest are living in the truck camper in the driveway, one in the over-the-cab bed, one in the converted dinette bed. All they have is electricity out there, no water/sewer. They have to come into the house for bathroom needs.

 

My third college boy is living on the living room couch with his suitcase in the corner of the living room. We did have him on an air mattress in the living room, but it wouldn't hold air so he ended up on the couch. Not ideal, but it is what it is.

 

Yep. Tight fit, trying to fit these three guys into our tiny house.

[Julie of KY]

I'd smile and offer the space I had. Definitely have ground rules about house expectations - who helps with cleaning, cooking, laundry. Presumably those rules are in place from years past already. Don't apologize, just enjoy the time together - it won't last forever and it can build some great memories.

 

As far as space, I think any of the ideas can work. I set up a cot in my parents home and hung my clothes on a rod between two chairs. The camper might work as long as he knows you'll sometimes use it for camping and he'd have to move inside. The tiny room might be cozy, but would give private space - just set up a sleeping area. Areas of the living space work as well. I'd decide what options are acceptable to you and then present the option(s) to him.

[MysteryJen]

We downsized last year and are in a house that is both small and expensive. So no extra money to make things better. The problem we have now, is that ds1 who was to be gone all summer, is now home for the summer (I think) and he doesn't want to share a room. His brothers who had to share for their entire lives JUST got their own rooms and they feel (understandably) that it is not fair to them to move out of their tiny rooms to share a tiny room. 

So ds1 is making do in a basement space. I bought canvas paint tarps and hung them up to create a private space. It is not perfect, but for lots of reasons (not just that ds1 will not commit to being home all summer) this is how it is going to be. 

[Penguin]

I think these dilemmas are common, and nothing to feel badly about. Although I admit that I do get stressed over trying to make pleasant accomodations for everyone.

 

I have one teen at home and two adult children who move in and out. There is a big age difference between the young adults and the teen. The age difference coupled with personalities complicates room sharing. Also, my mom comes for a few weeks then leaves for a few weeks. We try all different arrangements, and none of them are perfect. By the time I figure something great out, the circumstances change (we move a lot).

 

My goal is for everyone to feel welcome under my roof. I am a the-more-the-merrier person. I also love it when friends come for overnight visits. But conditions might be less than luxorious! So it goes.

Edited May 23, 2017 by Penguin

[Guest]

Sounds normal. We used the couch as sleeping space #1 and the floor of sibs bedroom as sleeping space number 2.

[DawnM]

Can he have that 1/2 room?  That would suit my kids just fine, as long as they could have their own spot.

[vonfirmath]

Is a futon an option? I think I'd prefer that to propping up a mattress against the wall during the day. Friends who have a 2Br 2 BA condo have a futon and keep two of those flat dorm-type twin mattresses underneath that can be pulled out as needed as well. I think a futon can be purchased pretty inexpensively at Walmart.

 

When I lived with my friend (several years, ages 21-25 or so) My "Bedroom" was the living room. She'd already turned her second bedroom into a library with a LOT of books so we put a dresser in the living room and I slept on a futon-couch there. I dressed in the restroom.

 

Yes, there was no one else living there. But sometimes I went to bed while she was still playing computer games ("In my room") and it all worked out fine.

Edited May 25, 2017 by vonfirmath

[Carrie12345]

I understand the emotional aspect of it.  My college student sleeps on a trundle bed pulled out from under his little brothers' bunk beds. I wish I could provide better accommodations, but we've got what we've got.

 

But it IS just a summer, and you all will manage.  Trust me. My 3 bedroom, 1100sf house held my family of 7, plus another adult and two children in the living room, for several months last year!  It was no cake walk, but everyone was taken care of.

[katilac]

We downsized last year and are in a house that is both small and expensive. So no extra money to make things better. The problem we have now, is that ds1 who was to be gone all summer, is now home for the summer (I think) and he doesn't want to share a room. His brothers who had to share for their entire lives JUST got their own rooms and they feel (understandably) that it is not fair to them to move out of their tiny rooms to share a tiny room. 

So ds1 is making do in a basement space. I bought canvas paint tarps and hung them up to create a private space. It is not perfect, but for lots of reasons (not just that ds1 will not commit to being home all summer) this is how it is going to be. 

 

That sounds fair to me. 

[scoutingmom]

We live in an 850 sq foot house. To be fair, that does not include the loft that my son's bedroom is in (and more loft space used for storage. There are 6 of us, and one bedroom. A few years ago, for a few months, we needed to have my one adult step daughter, and my other adult step daughter with her 2 (then) kids stay with us. It was pretty crowded but we lived. My grandson shared my son's small room and my granddaughter shared with our 3 girls. The 2 step-daughters got the storage space.

 

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