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Sued for texting on a date


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#51 SquirrellyMama

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 01:41 PM

Cell phone use at the theater while annoying isn't the worst.

While watching the movie Sing, the people behind us were singing the songs. Much more annoying.

Having a child kick the back of my seat...also more annoying.

All 3 are nothing to sue over.

Kelly
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#52 Danestress

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 02:13 PM


Personally, I don't think it sets a good precedent at all for someone to SUE just because someone else is being very annoying. Think about the ramifications of that legal precedent. I really don't think it is a good idea to go down that road.


Oh, of course. I was not suggesting that suing someone would be an appropriate response. I was just thinking that maybe this isn't about him thinking she "owes him" something on a date, but rather that she owes everyone in the theater some respect. However, in either situation I think filing in small claims court would be ridiculous.

It would cost him over $100 to file the claim and serve it, so I think he probably was doing this to embarrass her, or to make a point. Either way, he seems like a huge jerk.
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#53 Violet Crown

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 02:20 PM

If her not texting during the movie was that passionately important to him, he should have taken her to Alamo Drafthouse. They have several in Austin (and it's actually Alamo Drafthouse - not the theater he took his date to - that has offered him the gift certificate in the amount of the lawsuit). They are *extremely* strict about texting or talking during a movie. They issue a warning or two and then absolutely will remove you from the theater if you ignore them and continue to talk or text. He has an incredibly big issue with people being rude and texting during a movie apparently so he should go somewhere where texting is absolutely not allowed.

edited to fix a typo

It was the Alamo. There were probably a dozen annoyed people waving down the servers with their little menu request pads by the time she walked out. How did she miss the loud screen-filling announcement at the beginning about how phones are absolutely banned at the Alamo?

ETA: Okay, somehow I missed that the AD wasn't the theater they went to, just the one offering to put up a peace bond. So he was just out the cost of tickets, not hot wings and a beer too.

Edited by Violet Crown, 21 May 2017 - 02:24 PM.


#54 dirty ethel rackham

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 04:39 PM

Well, I don't like the direction this is going because I think that the next step is being "polite" by kissing or doing more on a date. The WHOLE point of dating is supposed to be trying to get to know the other person. He got to know her and he should move on. This behavior would be a deal breaker for me too, but the fact that he's suing is nutty. When I was single and dating I totally didn't date anyone a second time who was the slightest bit rude. I have catered weddings where the bride is annoyed by something rude the groom is doing and obviously he's been doing that the whole time they dated, but she is freaked out that he hasn't quit. People don't quit rude behavior to make their date happy. You have to just move on.

I have a single friend who has had men get angry that she won't sleep with them after they bought her a decent dinner at the Olive Garden. I'm talking 45yo men with six figure incomes, people. That's nuts. The attitude of entitlement is crayyyyzeeee. Everyone goes on some bad dates when they are single.

I don't think the point of suing was whether or not he was going to get any action afterwards or "controlling her". The point is that she ruined the movie for him and for other movie goers. Texting in a movie is distracting for everyone around the person who is texting. Our eyes are drawn to the brightest thing in our field of vision. In a darkened theater, her screen was it.

Now, I don't approve of suing for this, but part of me is delighted that she is getting called out for her selfish behavior.

I noticed a lot of people defending her. Am I one of the few who detests this behavior? Obviously, theaters go to great lengths to remind people not to do this (like 5 reminders in the 10 minutes of waiting for the movie to start.)

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#55 okbud

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 05:08 PM

Defending her (rhetorically) from a crazy person who SUED her, and defending texting in movies in general aren't the same.


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#56 Mimm

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 05:22 PM

I don't think the point of suing was whether or not he was going to get any action afterwards or "controlling her". The point is that she ruined the movie for him and for other movie goers. Texting in a movie is distracting for everyone around the person who is texting. Our eyes are drawn to the brightest thing in our field of vision. In a darkened theater, her screen was it.

Now, I don't approve of suing for this, but part of me is delighted that she is getting called out for her selfish behavior.

I noticed a lot of people defending her. Am I one of the few who detests this behavior? Obviously, theaters go to great lengths to remind people not to do this (like 5 reminders in the 10 minutes of waiting for the movie to start.)

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Of course I detest that behavior and I would have loves to see her thrown out of the theater by the management. However, her behavior kind of pales in comparison to his. It's like if someone was loudly chewing with her mouth full of food at a restaurant and her date screamed at her and overturned the table. Was she rude and gross? Of course. But it's hard to feel outraged when you're busy feeling more outraged at his reaction.


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#57 Diana P.

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 05:39 PM

Of course I detest that behavior and I would have loves to see her thrown out of the theater by the management. However, her behavior kind of pales in comparison to his. It's like if someone was loudly chewing with her mouth full of food at a restaurant and her date screamed at her and overturned the table. Was she rude and gross? Of course. But it's hard to feel outraged when you're busy feeling more outraged at his reaction.


No. Not the same.

Chewing loudly typically does not disrupt much of the restaurant. Turning over a table and yelling does.

Turning on a cellphone disrupts many people in a theatre. Suing your date does not.

The date with the texting problem was causing a problem for the public.
In your example the persons responding to bad behavior was disrupting the public.

#58 okbud

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 06:02 PM

No. Not the same.

Chewing loudly typically does not disrupt much of the restaurant. Turning over a table and yelling does.

Turning on a cellphone disrupts many people in a theatre. Suing your date does not.

The date with the texting problem was causing a problem for the public.
In your example the persons responding to bad behavior was disrupting the public.

He wasn't​ suing her for reparations on behalf of the other movie-goers. He was suing her for the money he spent on a date that didn't go how he wanted it to go.

Also, you're deliberately missing the point.

Chewing loudly and texting aren't *actually* harmful to others. Suing and overturning tables are. The former is punitive by nature and the latter is violence.

Edited by okbud, 21 May 2017 - 06:04 PM.

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#59 Greta

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 06:08 PM

No. Not the same.

Chewing loudly typically does not disrupt much of the restaurant. Turning over a table and yelling does.

Turning on a cellphone disrupts many people in a theatre. Suing your date does not.

The date with the texting problem was causing a problem for the public.
In your example the persons responding to bad behavior was disrupting the public.


I think her point was more general than that: that when someone chooses to respond to rudeness by achieving new heights of rudeness themselves, all they have shown is that they are the bigger jerk.
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#60 Diana P.

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 06:26 PM

I think her point was more general than that: that when someone chooses to respond to rudeness by achieving new heights of rudeness themselves, all they have shown is that they are the bigger jerk.

 

 

I agree. I think the analogy is wrong. 


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#61 Diana P.

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 06:29 PM

He wasn't​ suing her for reparations on behalf of the other movie-goers. He was suing her for the money he spent on a date that didn't go how he wanted it to go.

Also, you're deliberately missing the point.

Chewing loudly and texting aren't *actually* harmful to others. Suing and overturning tables are. The former is punitive by nature and the latter is violence.

 

 

Texting in a movie is interrupting all movie goers. Those people paid for the oppertunity to enjoy the film and the woman interrupted. No one was physically harmed, but something they paid money for was taken away. 

 

I agree with you point that being rude back is wrong. I believe your analogy is wrong. 


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#62 okbud

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 07:09 PM

NM

Edited by okbud, 21 May 2017 - 07:48 PM.


#63 Greta

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 07:41 PM

I agree. I think the analogy is wrong.


Ah, I see. The analogy worked for me since it called to mind a time that my dinner was completely ruined by the revolting behavior of a woman seated at the next table. Seems comparable to someone texting during a movie, though I would guess the latter is far more common.
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#64 kitten18

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 07:50 PM

Texting in a movie is interrupting all movie goers. Those people paid for the oppertunity to enjoy the film and the woman interrupted. No one was physically harmed, but something they paid money for was taken away.

I agree with you point that being rude back is wrong. I believe your analogy is wrong.

Then people need to take it up with the theater management to get them to enforce their policies.
It's up to the theater to make sure the movie isn't disrupted.
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#65 Anne in CA

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 07:54 PM

I don't think the point of suing was whether or not he was going to get any action afterwards or "controlling her". The point is that she ruined the movie for him and for other movie goers. Texting in a movie is distracting for everyone around the person who is texting. Our eyes are drawn to the brightest thing in our field of vision. In a darkened theater, her screen was it.

Now, I don't approve of suing for this, but part of me is delighted that she is getting called out for her selfish behavior.

I noticed a lot of people defending her. Am I one of the few who detests this behavior? Obviously, theaters go to great lengths to remind people not to do this (like 5 reminders in the 10 minutes of waiting for the movie to start.)

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I am not defending her, but no one, no one gets to "expect" ANYTHING on a date. Even polite behavior. I don't want people texting in my movie theater myself, but he is the jerk for thinking that she owes him ANYTHING for going to the movies with him. Dating is about seeing who someone is. Period.

 

This is soooo not about the movie thing. 

 

Patriarchy is a big movement in this country right now. We have a president who thinks grabbing women's privates is funny. This lawsuit is a step in that direction. Anyone can report a texter to to cinema. This guy is mad about a lot more than the texting. He thinks he should have control over her for the cost of a movie ticket. That is the  whole point of this. 


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#66 luuknam

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 09:21 PM

This guy is mad about a lot more than the texting. He thinks he should have control over her for the cost of a movie ticket. That is the  whole point of this. 

 

 

So, if you're concerned with the patriarchy, just quit dating guys who want to pay for your movie ticket or meal or w/e. Just pay for your own movie ticket, and if the guy insists on paying for yours, then you know you're dating the patriarchy. 


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#67 gardenmom5

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 09:29 PM

Ah, I see. The analogy worked for me since it called to mind a time that my dinner was completely ruined by the revolting behavior of a woman seated at the next table. Seems comparable to someone texting during a movie, though I would guess the latter is far more common.

 

I've had that a couple times - both times, the table was full of drunks drinking even more and getting unreasonably loud and obnoxious.  with the worst - the restaurant KNEW the customers were being a problem, but they were bending over backwards to "make them happy".  apparently, they patronized the place often and spent bucks. for us - it had been a celebration dinner with our daughter, that was ruined by the oafs.  is it schadenfreude to feel satisfaction the restaurant is now out of business?


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#68 Greta

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 10:03 PM

I've had that a couple times - both times, the table was full of drunks drinking even more and getting unreasonably loud and obnoxious. with the worst - the restaurant KNEW the customers were being a problem, but they were bending over backwards to "make them happy". apparently, they patronized the place often and spent bucks. for us - it had been a celebration dinner with our daughter, that was ruined by the oafs. is it schadenfreude to feel satisfaction the restaurant is now out of business?


Very strange that they would allow a few customers to run off their other customers!
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#69 gardenmom5

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 10:50 PM

Very strange that they would allow a few customers to run off their other customers!


We spoke with our waiter, he was under orders from the manager. They were even demanding they be brought dessert from another restaurant because they didn't like their offerings.
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#70 Anne in CA

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 11:20 PM

So, if you're concerned with the patriarchy, just quit dating guys who want to pay for your movie ticket or meal or w/e. Just pay for your own movie ticket, and if the guy insists on paying for yours, then you know you're dating the patriarchy. 

Unfortunately patriarchy is bigger than that. If affects lots of us. Older women, like myself, know how to navigate. You don't have daughters or you would feel very differently about the world they are inheriting. I would like my dd to go to college next year and not get raped by an entitled Brock Turner. I have to somehow deal with that. Any woman who thinks she doesn't is very delusional. I have a very good friend who works for someone extremely famous that everyone, no matter where they live, knows who they are. That person's dd was raped on a college campus, not drunk, just daring to be a woman on a college campus. It is really common. Men in our culture feel more entitled to a woman all the time. It is not alright. 

 

 

No one on board, or anywhere, knows if the rude woman in question would not have felt badly about ruining her date and simply offered to pay for the next one when she had time to think about her actions. I personally doubt it, but I am really worried about the number of people who think this is about bad behavior during a movie. 


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#71 luuknam

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 11:43 PM

Unfortunately patriarchy is bigger than that. If affects lots of us. Older women, like myself, know how to navigate. You don't have daughters or you would feel very differently about the world they are inheriting. I would like my dd to go to college next year and not get raped by an entitled Brock Turner. I have to somehow deal with that. Any woman who thinks she doesn't is very delusional. 

 

 

You're going too far. 


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#72 Anne in CA

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 11:48 PM

I don't think we as a society are going far enough to protect our dd's. 


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#73 gardenmom5

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 11:51 PM

Unfortunately patriarchy is bigger than that. If affects lots of us. Older women, like myself, know how to navigate. You don't have daughters or you would feel very differently about the world they are inheriting. I would like my dd to go to college next year and not get raped by an entitled Brock Turner. I have to somehow deal with that. Any woman who thinks she doesn't is very delusional. I have a very good friend who works for someone extremely famous that everyone, no matter where they live, knows who they are. That person's dd was raped on a college campus, not drunk, just daring to be a woman on a college campus. It is really common. Men in our culture feel more entitled to a woman all the time. It is not alright. 

 

 

No one on board, or anywhere, knows if the rude woman in question would not have felt badly about ruining her date and simply offered to pay for the next one when she had time to think about her actions. I personally doubt it, but I am really worried about the number of people who think this is about bad behavior during a movie. 

 

there is much that is overblown.  between my daughters they spent 12 years on college campuses.  never assaulted.  none of their friends were ever assaulted.   and they went to an undergrad school with a reputation for drinking.

1dd is in a very male dominated field - there are few women in it.  the males who have been most obnoxious - treat *everyone* like garbage. including other men.  she has a lot of male friends - because same field.


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#74 luuknam

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 11:52 PM

I don't think we as a society are going far enough to protect our dd's. 

 

 

Which is an entirely different issue than going around claiming that people would feel differently about things if they had daughters instead of sons. Or that people are delusional. Or w/e. 


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#75 Anne in CA

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Posted 21 May 2017 - 11:53 PM

there is much that is overblown.  between my daughters they spent 12 years on college campuses.  never assaulted.  none of their friends were ever assaulted.   and they went to an undergrad school with a reputation for drinking.

1dd is in a very male dominated field - there are few women in it.  the males who have been most obnoxious - treat *everyone* like garbage. including other men.  she has a lot of male friends - because same field.

That is lucky for your dd's. Really, I am glad. But that is not the experience of A LOT of people. 


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#76 Mergath

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 12:13 AM

That is lucky for your dd's. Really, I am glad. But that is not the experience of A LOT of people.


Yup. Anyone who thinks sexual assault isn't a problem on college campuses isn't paying attention.
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#77 Diana P.

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 05:10 AM

I don't think there's enough information about this doofus to claim he's part of male patriarchy. I'm betting he'd sue a friend who texted at the theater. I also suspect he is not a guy with a lot of friends. I don't think the snapshot of feeling entitled to certain behavior on date doesn't mean he's a general ass who feels he shouldn't expect certain behavior from anyone.

Not to say there's not red flags to stay away, just that the red flags would be for anyone who doesn't want to be around a jerk stay away from him.

So, I don't think there's a direct line from his response to texting and rape. The published information is she was rude and he acted like an ass about it.

Edited by Diana P., 22 May 2017 - 07:32 AM.

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#78 dirty ethel rackham

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 07:30 AM

What on earth does this have to do with patriarchy? They guy is a doofus, yes. But I've read about 10 articles on this and nothing in those gave me the impression that this was anything more than a guy ticked off that his date ruined the movie for him and for other movie goers.

He stated that he knows it is over the top, but he was trying to make a point about texting in theaters. If it was about patriarchy, would he have let her drive him to the movies. He was stranded there.

She still sees nothing wrong with her behavior ... calling "texting in a theater" no big deal.

There have been many times I have had a movie ruined by someone taking out their phone. I don't go out to movies often so it is a splurge for me to go. When I called out this one young woman on it, asking her to to that out in the hallway, I got called some pretty ugly names. Not only did she ruin the experience for me and those close enough to be distracted by her phone, she then ruined the experience for everyone.

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#79 kewb

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 08:06 AM

The article doesn't give enough information.  Even without all the facts there is enough to say this guy is a tool and she was rude for texting in a theatre.  You do not get to demand a refund because you didn't like your dates behavior. I know this is what small claims court is for but I can't help but wonder what Judge Judy would say.


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#80 Anne in CA

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 08:52 AM

I suppose this is such a hot button issue for me because I am very concerned about the future of women in our country and lawsuit is an attempt to control a woman. He chose something that is clearly a hot button issue for many people and that's what they are focusing on. I still don't see why he didn't have her removed from the theater for her behavior???? I go to the movies A LOT and this is not a problem in any theater I have gone to. I have to believe the people on the board who claim it's a rampant problem... but it is not my experience so I simply cannot believe that he didn't just end the date, have her removed from the theater and block her from his cell phone. I take the lawsuit as a way to control a woman and it bothers me a lot.

 

 


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#81 Diana P.

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 09:35 AM

I suppose this is such a hot button issue for me because I am very concerned about the future of women in our country and lawsuit is an attempt to control a woman. He chose something that is clearly a hot button issue for many people and that's what they are focusing on. I still don't see why he didn't have her removed from the theater for her behavior???? I go to the movies A LOT and this is not a problem in any theater I have gone to. I have to believe the people on the board who claim it's a rampant problem... but it is not my experience so I simply cannot believe that he didn't just end the date, have her removed from the theater and block her from his cell phone. I take the lawsuit as a way to control a woman and it bothers me a lot.


Suing is a way of trying to control anybody. This country has a high rate of people who sue over stupid sh--. That doesn't mean a man who sues a woman is a potential rapist. A lot of guys who commit rape are rather charming individuals. There was an assault in my DD dorm 2 months ago. The perpetrator stayed overnight in my house last Dec because he needed a place to stay near the airport before his flight home. (we are 4.5 hours from campus, but near one of the closer major airports). This young man was in my dd's friend group, so we helped him out. Two months ago he forced his way into the room of another girl in the group and attacked her. He was swiftly removed from campus and convicted of assault and other crimes during finals. In December did anyone in my dd's friend group think he was a problem. No. In fact he was so nice to be around that some people defended him and thought the assault must be a misunderstanding even though there was irrefutable evidence he did what he did.

For being concerned about women, I will be more worried about men who are nice and subtle with their behavior. I think they are the real danger.

The man in the story broadcasted that he is generally a jerk. That doesn't mean he is a rapist.

#82 Lady Florida.

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 09:44 AM

For those who don't think this is about control, patriarchy, or sexism, the word of the day is: insidious.

 

I don't have daughters. I have only sons and grandsons. We've taught our sons, and dss is teaching our grandsons, how to treat people regardless of gender and how to react properly to people who are rude to you (i.e. how to stand up for yourself without being a bigger jerk).


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#83 dirty ethel rackham

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 09:46 AM

I suppose this is such a hot button issue for me because I am very concerned about the future of women in our country and lawsuit is an attempt to control a woman. He chose something that is clearly a hot button issue for many people and that's what they are focusing on. I still don't see why he didn't have her removed from the theater for her behavior???? I go to the movies A LOT and this is not a problem in any theater I have gone to. I have to believe the people on the board who claim it's a rampant problem... but it is not my experience so I simply cannot believe that he didn't just end the date, have her removed from the theater and block her from his cell phone. I take the lawsuit as a way to control a woman and it bothers me a lot.

Did you even read the article (or any on this story)? She took out her phone several times. He told her to stop doing that (just like any irritated movie goer would do ... having nothing to do with a patriarchal male trying to control her body.) He finally told her to go out into the hallway to text. (Reasonable request. The next step would have been to get the theater staff involved.) She did and then left, which, since she drove, left him stranded without a ride. There is no defending her actions here. She admitted to using her phone during the movie and acted completely entitled to ruin the movie for all who sat near her.

Yes, he is a doofus. But, he specifically said he was pursuing the lawsuit because he was fed up with this kind of behavior. Is it a pointless act? I don't know. We are talking about it, aren't we?

So, basically, because she was a female on a date, she gets to act like an entitled brat, because, patriarchy? Not seeing the connection.

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#84 dirty ethel rackham

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 09:51 AM

And Anne, maybe people in California are just more civic minded. But I just went to a movie on Saturday night. There were no less than 5 reminders not to use their phones during the movie. And still, some entitled moron thought that the rules didn't apply to him. Fortunately, his friend told him to cut it out and he did so no further action was necessary. But, it was a distraction and I missed something.

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#85 Greta

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 10:40 AM

So, basically, because she was a female on a date, she gets to act like an entitled brat, because, patriarchy? Not seeing the connection.

 

 

Perhaps you are not seeing the connection because no one attempted to make such a connection?  I don't remember one single post in this conversation that defended or excused her behavior.  I do remember about 15 or 20 that explicitly condemned it, said it was wrong, rude, annoying, obnoxious, etc.

 

Condemning his behavior is not an endorsement of her behavior.  I believe that has also been stated several times.


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#86 Anne in CA

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Posted 22 May 2017 - 06:20 PM

And Anne, maybe people in California are just more civic minded. But I just went to a movie on Saturday night. There were no less than 5 reminders not to use their phones during the movie. And still, some entitled moron thought that the rules didn't apply to him. Fortunately, his friend told him to cut it out and he did so no further action was necessary. But, it was a distraction and I missed something.

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LOL, I have NEVER seen someone take their cell out during a movie, and I go to one at least once a month. That is nuts. I do think that the man should have ended the date himself and involved theater management rather than suing. When I was a young woman and men drove me on dates I remember mentally calculating the cab fare if a friend couldn't pick me up if things went wrong. I NEVER allowed a man to take me farther than I had cab fare for to get home if he was a jerk. In the modern age I have no sympathy for him. The reason I think he's a jerk is he is trying to make this a problem about her. You said yourself that this is frequent where you live, so you get five reminders and someone still does this. He is not the Lone Ranger. He is not the enforcer of goodness in the world. Where are the theater owners here???

 

I have problem customers in my restaurant and I go out of my way to make sure they don't ruin meals of good people trying to have a pleasant Sunday morning. I am a master diffuser, although some jerks do get away from me once in a blue moon. My good guests are my focus. If theater owners don't remove people for this behavior, why is it the objective of some creep????? His real issue should be with theater owners. His format should be Yelp. But he is trying to make a woman feel like she owed him something. I did read the article and now I'm thinking, she should counter sue for Uber fare to take him to the theater in the first place. She drove, he bought. It was ENTIRELY equitable. He was not a gracious host by ANY sense of the word.  

 

I admit, I am on heightened alert as regarding patriarchy. I am SICK of it. It is not impossible that I am emotional about this because it just feels like young women have worse row to hoe than ever before and I am launching one. She is amazing. She is going to make mistakes and she is not worse than the man in any mistake that gets made. She is my baby, my young woman, our future, and I'm not backing down on this stuff. Men need to own their own stuff. Really, a MAN can handle being stranded at a movie theater. 



#87 KungFuPanda

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Posted 23 May 2017 - 01:24 AM

Am I the only one who isn't distracted by texting in a theatre? There are so many things that are much more distracting. People make-out, crunch popcorn, slurp drinks, bring squirmy kids, forget to use deodorant, whisper to their friends . . . ALL of these things can be expected in a movie and they're all more bothersome than texting. If I really can't focus on a movie in a community setting, I'd probably wait and watch it at home. What is it about phones that bothers people more than anything else? Turn off your sound effects and dim your screen and I don't care if you text the whole time. Even if I can tell someone is doing it it doesn't really distract me from the movie.
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