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What to send when there's a death in the family


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#1 Jaz

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:43 PM

I know how to "be there" locally when someone dies. I'm not sure what to do from across the country.

 

The father of my sister-in-law's husband just passed away. I'd like to send something now for comfort, perhaps a restaurant gift card? My husband says they don't eat out much - they're very healthy eaters. 

 

ETA: It's my husband's sister and her husband, no kids. 

 

Any suggestions? 


Edited by Jaz, 18 May 2017 - 03:44 PM.


#2 Rach

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 03:55 PM

I usually send flowers or a card. If s "in lieu of flowers" request has been made, do that instead.

#3 Jaz

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 05:14 PM

I usually send flowers or a card. If s "in lieu of flowers" request has been made, do that instead.

 

Thanks, we can do that, but I'd like to send something additional this evening.



#4 4Kiddos

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:34 PM

Some really nice flowers, like from here:

 

https://farmgirlflowers.com/

 

and perhaps some food item they might enjoy that is more unique but "healthier" since they don't eat out much- like a coffee subscription or wine of the month or something.



#5 J-rap

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:39 PM

Really, what helps most is food.  Food, food, food.  That is what helped us so much.  You can look up a gift certificate for a restaurant in their city.  We got a Noodles gift certificate, for example, for $100.  We went back there several times to use it up.  We also got one for another chain restaurant.  I can't tell you how much this meant to us, because I was  not able to cook myself during those early days.

 

ETA:  If they don't eat out much, how about food sent to their home?  There are healthier-type restaurants and other food companies that deliver.


Edited by J-rap, 18 May 2017 - 06:41 PM.

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#6 cintinative

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 06:59 PM

maybe a gift certificate for a cleaning service?

 

paper plates, napkins and cups so they don't have to do dishes

 

Nonperishable food stuffs that they might use/need 

 

Nonperishable personal care items they might run out of (tissues, tp, etc.)--especially if they are hosting family

 

Find out if the local grocers deliver--consider delivering fresh fruit and vegetables


Edited by cintinative, 18 May 2017 - 07:00 PM.

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#7 Jaz

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 10:13 PM

Thank you! I looked up meal delivery services but they don't have gift cards in their area.

 

I did find a Panera Bread nearby so I went with that. We'll send flowers from farmgirl unless the family asks for something else, thanks 4kiddos. 

 


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#8 Amy in NH

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 11:23 PM

A condolence card or a fruit basket

Edited by Amy in NH, 18 May 2017 - 11:23 PM.


#9 Tap

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Posted 18 May 2017 - 11:57 PM

It sounds like you already got a nice idea. If you want something for the future, Harry and David send really nice fresh fruit baskets/towers.

 

It is sweet of you to want to do something for them. :grouphug:  :grouphug: 



#10 whitestavern

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 06:16 AM

We received Edible Arrangements when my FIL passed and it was really nice. There was something for everyone and it was fresh. We had a lot of casseroles and deli platters and such, but the fresh fruit was very welcome.


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#11 Upennmama

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 09:29 AM

Maybe like blue apron or something?

#12 Jaz

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 11:33 AM

Oh I like the idea of fruit baskets and blue apron. I think I'll look at ordering one of those too. Thanks! I'm mailing a card today and we'll send flowers to the funeral. 



#13 Lady Florida.

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 12:24 PM

When my mom passed away two of the best things sent to me were edible fruit arrangements and restaurant gift cards. The fruit was easy when I didn't want to eat but knew I needed to have something (I'm the opposite of a stress eater - I can't eat when I'm stressed). I could pull a few pieces of fruit out and at least have something. I think a regular fruit basket would also be good. The restaurant gift cards helped later, especially when I was dealing with all the paperwork and estate settlement afterwards and the last thing I wanted to do was cook.



#14 MooCow

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 04:34 PM

A co-worker of my husband sent us a giant basket of gourmet cookies when his grandad passed. It was very much appreciated.

#15 FaithManor

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 05:10 PM

Food. We had an army of people from out of town to feed and theven thought of planning and cooking it all was awful. But several people sent cold cut platters, fruit and veggie trays, etc. That helped so much. We just bought sandwich buns, and let people help themselves.

If the family needs help putting on the funeral dinner, you could call the local deli and see if they deliver. A gallon of salad or something...it all helps.

#16 Jaz

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Posted 19 May 2017 - 07:31 PM

More food is good advice. I'll see what plans are made and how I can add to them or supplement. Thank you.