heartlikealion Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 (edited) Is this such a big argument because people have different opinions on how important Sunday Mass really is? How important it is to be prepared properly for the sacraments? Just wondering what's at the heart of this long discussion. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk I can't speak for others, but for me the heart of the matter is if you supposedly really really want to be a part of the Catholic church then shelling out money for private school is not necessarily proof of that and you should make an effort to be part of the parish. There are lots of people that attend Catholic school for lots of reasons. I don't think that's proof at all that they are brought closer to the faith. I know people that attended Catholic school. They didn't all become Catholic or even have a very good opinion about Catholicism from what I gathered. For all we know one of the reasons they are interested in their child becomming Catholic is a belief that the child will get a the Catholic rate for tuition. I knew a woman that joked about becoming Catholic to get a discount for her child. I told dh we wouldn't even qualify for that because while ds and I actively go to church we are not "substantial financial contributors" as is required for the "Catholic rate." Editing for clarificiation: I'm sure the rules vary from school to school. And in their case I do think their desire to send the child to Catholic school was for more than the education. It sounds like they genuinely wanted him to attend Mass weekly and probably learn more about the faith. Edited May 20, 2017 by heartlikealion 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 I never said he was denied baptism. That's not the only sacrament and it's not the sacraments being discussed in this thread either. You said: "Saint Monica wept for years because her son was refused sacraments even though she was devoted in her faith. Why? Because his father wanted none of it and was raising his son in ungodly ways and there was more than reasonable concern that giving the sacraments would cause him to commit mortal sins against those sacraments." What did you mean then? Augustine wasn't refused the Eucharist, once he converted and was baptized. Monica was famous for being upset because Augustine refused baptism. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 Since the OP hasn't returned to provide more details, or perhaps they don't know any more details, it's really impossible to argue further. If the family has been given ample opportunity by the church to meet the minimal expectations, and aren't doing so, then fine. While the intent seems to be there, for whatever reasons the follow-through is too challenging. I deal with this myself, being stretched to the limit with finances and time, but still wanting to provide what I believe to be the best for my child. Some understanding and guidance for the family would probably go a long way, if it hasn't already been offered. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 Is this such a big argument because people have different opinions on how important Sunday Mass really is? How important it is to be prepared properly for the sacraments? Just wondering what's at the heart of this long discussion. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk It's partly about how important Mass is, but more about if this couple really truly wants to be Catholic, or just thinks the sacrament is the next step. Also those of us involved in parish life have witnessed how accommodating the Church usually is to people that wish to join, so it's hard for us to believe the Church was like "nope, I know you tried as hard as you can, but we don't care...you do RCIA on this date and time or else...and if you miss a single Mass no FHC for your kid." In our collective experience it hasn't worked like that AT ALL, my priest is known to say that no problem can't be overcome, the WILL find a way for you to joint the church if you wish to join. So we are presuming there is most likely either a breakdown of communication or the couple doesn't really want to be Catholic enough to actually pursue the alternatives. If this parish really is an anomaly and unwilling to be flexible at all to their actual circumstances than they need to seek out a different parish. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 .. If this parish really is an anomaly and unwilling to be flexible at all to their actual circumstances than they need to seek out a different parish. My area really frowns on parish shopping. And I can see the pros and cons of that, too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 My area really frowns on parish shopping. And I can see the pros and cons of that, too. Sure, but I don't count "you are the only parish that has a Mass at a time I can attend" as parish shopping. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 Sure, but I don't count "you are the only parish that has a Mass at a time I can attend" as parish shopping. Oh, sorry to be unclear. Yes, going to Mass in another parish is fine; I don't see that as parish shopping (although here you are expected to be members in your home parish regardless). I was thinking more like getting a priest from another parish to ok the FHC (though of course that wouldn't allow the student to do FHC with his peers). Note to self - don't post when distracted!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 (edited) Oh, sorry to be unclear. Yes, going to Mass in another parish is fine; I don't see that as parish shopping (although here you are expected to be members in your home parish regardless). I was thinking more like getting a priest from another parish to ok the FHC (though of course that wouldn't allow the student to do FHC with his peers). Note to self - don't post when distracted!!! Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I meant that if this parish won't work with them, join a different parish that has Mass times they can get to, more flexible RCIA times, etc. Edited May 20, 2017 by ktgrok 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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