What to do with no homeschool friends?

[meganrussell]

I homeschool my five kids, ages 14, 11, 9, 6 and 4. I know ZERO homeschool moms with kids older than 8. And I don't see her because we don't live anywhere close to each other. We met several years ago and keep in touch, but... It is so hard not having anyone to discuss homeschooling with other than my husband. It is so hard not to have anyone to talk about summer reading lists for an upcoming high schooler or what middle school math is best... I guess I'm feeling lonely and out of sorts now. I wondered if any of you have this problem and what you do about it.

[Rosie_0801]

We come here. :)

 

 

In my experience, people with kids over K age don't really talk about much of that in real life. So, the WTM forum for discussing book lists and IRL buddies for discussing our impossible dreams of buying and fitting out buses so we can travel the country, lol.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yup.  I come here.  We never had a lot of homeschool friends and those we had never ever discussed curriculum since everyone was so different in their needs and approach.  That didn't mean that we didn't have friends though. 

[OneStepAtATime]

Are there ANY homeschooling groups in your area that you could get to know?

 

 

[Lori D.]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  for the "just agree with me" part of your post. 

 

 

 

Now for some ideas!

 

...It is so hard not having anyone to discuss homeschooling with other than my husband. It is so hard not to have anyone to talk about summer reading lists for an upcoming high schooler or what middle school math is best... I guess I'm feeling lonely and out of sorts now. I wondered if any of you have this problem and what you do about it...

 

For talking about books and curriculum, this is where I've always come. :) Check out the Logic board and High School boards -- lots of great conversations going on there about books and materials -- and start a conversation if you don't see something already in progress that is a fit. :)

 

For local face-to-face discussions on homeschooling...What homeschool groups are in your area? Can you go to a state summer homeschool convention? What about creating a facebook group for homeschoolers in your area and see if you can start up something like a monthly meet-up for "talking shop"? Or, what state are you in? Maybe some of us here on this board are within a few hours of you, and could meet you this summer for a meet-and-chat session. :)

 

 

I homeschool my five kids, ages 14, 11, 9, 6 and 4. I know ZERO homeschool moms with kids older than 8. And I don't see her because we don't live anywhere close to each other. We met several years ago and keep in touch, but... It is so hard not having anyone to discuss homeschooling with other than my husband. It is so hard not to have anyone to talk about summer reading lists for an upcoming high schooler or what middle school math is best... I guess I'm feeling lonely and out of sorts now. I wondered if any of you have this problem and what you do about it.

 

For in real life support and social time, we have been very blessed to have a huge homeschool group to be a part of. If you don't have that availability, then definitely look for other local opportunities for your family socializing:

 

local social options for you:

- look online at Meet Up for women's social meet-ups in your area

- join a book club

- join a group based around a craft you enjoy (scrapbooking, quilting, knitting, etc.)

- community choir group

- join a volunteer organization

- Community Gardens group

- group that does a physical activity you enjoy (running, bicycling, tennis, hiking...)

- adult women's classes of interest to you (martial arts, aerobics, yoga, dance...)

- if you are a person of faith, a woman's bible study, prayer group, or faith-based activity

 

social options for your upcoming middle schooler and high schooler:

- model legislative or judicial groups ( Youth & Government;  Junior State of America; National Model United Nations; Model United Nations; Teen Court, Youth Court, Mock Trial)

- Speech & Debate - National Forensics League (secular) STOA (Christian); National Christian Forensics and Communication Association; Christian Communicators of America)

- community youth theater

- community youth orchestra

- 4-H group (not just animals -- also rockets, robotics, ham radio, archery...)

- join a high school after school club (Robotics, chess, Future Farmers of America, DECA...)

- join a high school sports team, or band/orchestra

- local teen club sports (softball, swimming, soccer, tennis, etc.)

- lessons in activity of interest (horseback riding; fencing; martial arts; dance; 

- community all-ages group (history recreation; orienteering; model railroading; electronics; board gaming/Dungeons & Dragons...)

- junior military group (Civil Air Patrol, Sea Cadets) -- also great for those NOT planning on the military

- host a book club (or join an existing one)

- volunteering at a local organization

- volunteer youth docent at a local museum or the zoo

 

social options for your elementary/young children:

- library programs for kids

- children's community theater

- Parks & Rec classes

- lessons in activity of interest

- YMCA, or other kid-sports teams, or swim team, etc.

- be the host house for weekly fun special summer activities for some neighbor kids

[HomeAgain]

We lived in an area with three homeschoolers once: us, a family who didn't associate with anyone outside their church, and a family of distance-schoolers. That was it for miles. I got online and talked there. :) My kid did the usual after school,program and sports and neighborhood friendships, and we just kept schooling separate from our day to day social life.

[tdbates78]

I'm in a similar boat. There is a rather large homeschooling community here in our city/region, but as we choose to operate a secular homeschool I feel very in the minority and left out. We are new to homeschooling and I have met a few moms at various homeschool-only activities at the library, local museums, etc, but nobody I've connected enough with to become friends. Fortunately I have (non-homeschooling) friends in my neighborhood and town so I just let it go. I'm not interested in a co-op, but it would be nice to have a homeschool playdate-type group though!

Edited May 17, 2017 by tdbates78

[Guest]

We have a prettt big homeschooling community here, but I still use the WTM board for most practical homeschool discussions and many of our friends do public and private school instead, especially as my kids have aged. It's pretty normal. I'm sorry you're feeling isolated and I think Lori had some amazing ideas for finding a tribe that might help with that.

[....]

I homeschool my five kids, ages 14, 11, 9, 6 and 4. I know ZERO homeschool moms with kids older than 8. 

 

Yep!  Havin' the same experience here!  Before we sign up for a homeschool activity, I specifically contact them and ask if they have teens...otherwise, it ends up being my teenagers and a bunch of 8 year-olds (no offense, 8 year-olds).  I managed to find an awesome homeschool PE group full of teens just by contacting different groups (which we are clinging to for our very lives).  So, they are out there...just hard to find.

 

And I'm finding out that homeschooled teenage boys are an endangered species.  Not sure why that is.  I doubt my teenage son would ever willingly step foot in a school unless he was tied up and carried there. 

 

This is the year extremely-introverted dd15 decided that she wants to be around tons of other teens and have friends.  She is constantly wanting to do social things, which is really strange for her!  She found two volunteer jobs, she does homeschool PE (with the large herd of teens), I enrolled her in a high school forensic science class for the fall and we are going to try Teen Night at the library.

 

Another thing I noticed is blogs.  Searching for homeschool blogs to read - all the kids are really little.  I think our generation isn't very social media-heavy/we tend not to blog or something....or maybe by this point we are too tired to talk about homeschooling when we're not doing school...or maybe we are too busy.   :tongue_smilie: I'm getting that way, for some reason.  When we're not doing schoolwork, I don't feel like talking about homeschooling anymore.

 

Like everyone else already said, this is where I come to get my homeschool-parent socialization.

[73349]

We are getting to know some folks, but still I don't discuss curriculum with them, nor usually with DH. That's why I come here. :)

[Guest]

I live very rurally, and I travel >100 miles to attend the occasional support group activity. (It is the closest and ONLY support group in our area.)

 

Unfortunately, the support group has no kids >14 years old, and very few kids >10yo. Everyone enrolls their high schoolers into the local high school. My 17yo son is in no-mans-land when it comes to homeschooled peers. My 11yo and 13yo have only a couple kids in their age bracket.

 

As for me, the other homeschooling moms are about 15-20 years younger than I am, and they have been homeschooling for far fewer years than I have. So I find that I am the support-er more than I am the support-ee.

 

So when I need advice, I usually ask here. Unfortunately, that doesn't really help my 17yo.

Edited May 17, 2017 by Kinsa

[Jean in Newcastle]

We have been very active at the Y since my Dd was 8. We go in the afternoons and evenings. It isn't homeschooled kids exclusively but a mix of kids. Both my kids have benefited from the programs, lessons like swimming and from volunteering. They actually have a homeschool program a couple of times a week but that's when we do school.

 

We never did co-ops. Transportation was a problem. And again- it interfered with our schooling which was more targeted than what was offered in co-ops.

 

We tried a homeschool park day for awhile but the cliques and bullying made us stop. (Just a reminder that homeschoolers are people too. ). Ironically we had no bullying or cliques at the Y but staff work diligently with the kids and park day was a free for all where the moms didn't want to get involved.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Peaceful Isle]

I am blessed and live by many different types of homeschoolers. I have found that it really doesn't help me make friends though. It is more for my kids.

I take them to band, but the moms there already have their friends, which is fine with me. :) I also drop them off at art class but the moms there just do a quick drop off and pick up, like I do.

My kids are joining a science group next year with homeschoolers that have science lab and activities once a week. Who knows, I might meet someone there, but I'm not stressed about it.

My kids do wish they had more friends, but more isn't always best or better.

 

I don't know. I pray for more friends for my kids, but I also know that they are fine where they are at. My oldest two get lonely sometimes.

[regentrude]

I have never found it possible to discuss homeschooling with the homeschooling moms I know IRL because my educational goals and curriculum needs are so completely different. I attend a regular playgroup, but discussing reading lists and math curricula??? LOL. not happening.

 

I found this forum a lot more useful.

Edited May 17, 2017 by regentrude

[Rachel]

I'm sorry you are feeling isolated. For what it's worth I know lots of homeschool moms, but we never really discuss school stuff. We have very different goals and use very different curricula.

[Guest]

This:

 

 

is a wonderful memory that you and I apparently share, OP.

 

You can still find artifacts from our past on the Wayback Machine. That helps. Also books--they show up in the dollar discount bin now. The kids at the book store are going to tell you that John Holt is a Reggae musician, so just tell them "That's okay. I don't need any help."

 

If it wasn't homeschooling it would just be something else. I'm sure life isn't exactly sunshine and roses for former Lithograph operators who loved their jobs either.

Edited May 17, 2017 by Guest

[TABmom]

Look for local homeschooling fb groups. We have a huge, very busy homeschool community. Someone posted on a large fb page the other day (one that encompasses a whole region of our state) and said that she lived in the middle of nowhere and there were no other homeschoolers around/no activities, etc. Then she posted that she lives in the town next to me. A town so close to mine that they basically overlap. Of course, I invited her to join more local groups and told her about many opportunities less than 10 minutes from her house. But, basically, she was just not plugged in at. all. IME, homeschoolers can network like no one else! (Seriously, we have activities every day of the week and we don't take advantage of even a quarter of what's available.)

[Carol in Cal.]

Knowing a bunch of other homeschooling parents does not necessarily result in lovely chats about curriculum.

 

Those occur here, more so.

 

I know one person IRL who I could talk curriculum with all day.  Interestingly enough, I met her due to coming here.

 

Other than that, let's see...there were several flavors of unschoolers who thought I was borderline abusive for requiring math lessons.  Yes, we were way too serious, and curriculum a means of torture unless a child ASKED for it.  (What child EVER has asked for a times tables curriculum?  Ever?)

There were 'early' classicists who couldn't believe that we hadn't started Latin in 2nd grade or that I was actually (gulp) using Saxon instead of Singapore.  Yes, we were inferior, not nearly serious ENOUGH.

There was the fellow parent at Upward Basketball who told me that Abeka was the ONLY homeschooling program that was right to use, and kind of implied that I would see the light eventually, and that until then, there was no sense being friends.

There were lots of lovely eclectic folks who shuttled their kids around a great deal and were fun to talk with in passing.  But not about curriculum.

There was lots of other lovely folks who pulled together 'one of' classes or groups, or who attended the ones that I pulled together.  The only one I remember talking about curriculum with was someone who was taking classes for a degree in education, and wanted ME to implement what SHE had learned in a free class that I was teaching about something tangential.  Uh, no. 

 

I made some good friends homeschooling, but curriculum just wasn't a big topic of conversation. 

 

Plus here for just about whatever issue you can think of, if you can describe it in enough detail you will find no less than 6 people who have already pondered this, or are in the process of doing so.  It gives a bit more variety of viewpoints and expertise.  I think of it as similar to cutting a diamond.  If you get a lot of facets, it gets shinier and shinier.

 

[fralala]

I never thought about it before, but after reading these responses I realized I have NO idea what most of our homeschooling friends or acquaintances use in terms of curriculum or methods. When I first started homeschooling and joined a park day group, I actually made an offhand comment about a certain homeschooling organization and there was an immediate, awkward silence as if I had brought up religion or politics (which I guess I kind of had because these choices are often religious or political). Thank goodness for this forum.

 

P.S. By the way, if your husband is interested in discussion your homeschooling with you, you're already a step ahead of me. Mine is definitely not interested in the nitty-gritty of curriculum decisions or planning or reading lists.