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Senior Year - Ugh


goldberry
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Please send good thoughts DD's way.  My mostly As some Bs student has a B and two C's this semester, one of which could become an F depending on her final which is 20% of her grade.  She owns the responsibility. Many things led to this point, but here we are.  The final is tomorrow.  I feel like I could throw up. 

 

ETA, silly me, I felt like I didn't have to worry any more after she got a good SAT score...

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I'm sorry.  Is it a class that she needs a specific grade in to graduate?

 

When my daughter was a junior she failed a class that needed a C or above to graduate in her major and the class was only offered in the spring.  Failing it set her back a whole year.  She persevered and passed the class and she is graduating next week.  She already has a job I her field.  

 

At the time it seemed like the worst thing that could have happened.  Obviously it cost a lot to stay for another year but in the end run it seems like a small bump in the road now.  I hope that your daughters situation works out as well in the long run.

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To be more clear, she is a senior in high school.  She does not need the class to graduate high school, but I am pretty sure if she fails it will take her grade point below the mark for the scholarship that she was already offered.  I already refigured GPA frantically when it went to a C and she was still okay.  There is nothing more to be done right now though.  It will be what it will be!  Hopefully a bump in the road, as you said...

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I 'm sorry. It is so hard watch. Something about that last semester of high school makes it really difficult for some students. Looking back, we all are pretty sure that the whole college application process was so exhausting and scary that they were too tired to cope with the thought of leaving home which the winter had made real to them. That caused them to freeze up under stress. It is a really hard time of life. Hugs. And good luck!

 

Nan

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I 'm sorry. It is so hard watch. Something about that last semester of high school makes it really difficult for some students. Looking back, we all are pretty sure that the whole college application process was so exhausting and scary that they were too tired to cope with the thought of leaving home which the winter had made real to them. That caused them to freeze up under stress. It is a really hard time of life. Hugs. And good luck!

 

Nan

 

This was definitely part of it.  She felt very stressed by "turning 18" (not sure why, we kept reminding we weren't going to throw her out the door...) and about becoming an adult.  Throughout the college app process she was half excited and half terrified (how can I be an adult, I'm not ready!)

 

She also has a serious boyfriend (which I did not encourage but happened anyway) and there was drama there which definitely affected her schooling.

 

AND having some pretty serious depression/anxiety issues which she is seeing a counselor for.  Just really glad for this to be over soon...

 

We will be reviewing what she learned so she can move forward, and she has indicated that she takes responsibility.  But for now, just trying to get through these last few days.

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Well, I've been there myself, as well as vicariously for my own children.  What would have helped me the most would have been to have my parents tell me that they would be happy to have me live with them as long as I wanted to.  In other words, separate going to college from leaving home and having to manage on my own forever.  This would have been easy for them to do because they were pretty happy to have me live with them while I was waiting for my boyfriend (an accidental high school acquisition that nobody thought would survive going away to college) to finish college.  We lived with them after we were married and have had very intertwined lives ever since.  My mother lived with her parents until she was married.  But I was the oldest and they thought times had changed now and they were trying not to be sexist and helping me have my own life and career.  Eventually, we straightened out the mess with the boyfriend (breaking up just plain didn't work) and the mess with growing up (I am a late bloomer) and I recovered from the anxiety and depression and have had a great life every since, but there were some pretty horrible years in there while we were establishing those things.  If someone had mentioned that some people need more support their whole lives than other people and that is ok, and that some people are late bloomers and that is ok, and that living at home until you are ready to move is fine, and that going to college close enough to come home to visit frequently is fine, I would have been better off.  Lots of people do grow up suddenly when they go off to college.  I just didn't.  I hope your daughter's path through these years is easier.  : )  Best of luck!

 

Nan

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This was definitely part of it.  She felt very stressed by "turning 18" (not sure why, we kept reminding we weren't going to throw her out the door...) and about becoming an adult.  Throughout the college app process she was half excited and half terrified (how can I be an adult, I'm not ready!)

I think it is just stressful for many kids to think about "growing up." That's been a theme here off and on too. I just keep coaching/walking alongside. When my dd starts to feel stressed about it, I just remind her that she doesn't have learn everything all at once--we'll take things one step at a time--and that she doesn't have to do this alone. She has family and friends to walk beside her in this journey. 

 

I hope the final goes well for your dd today, and whatever her grade, I hope it won't affect the scholarship opportunity. 

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She passed the class, no F!  75 on the final.  Never been so glad in my whole life for a 75...  I think she's okay.  Her GPA is still good for the scholarship by my calculations.  If they don't do anything differently from the way I'm doing it, we should be good.  

 

Now, where's that margarita....

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She passed the class, no F!  75 on the final.  Never been so glad in my whole life for a 75...  I think she's okay.  Her GPA is still good for the scholarship by my calculations.  If they don't do anything differently from the way I'm doing it, we should be good.  

 

Now, where's that margarita....

 

So glad to hear that!

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Phew!!! Thanks for telling us. I was wondering.

 

It was nice to have a place to share my fear.  DD was so upset and embarrassed about it that I couldn't talk about it to anyone IRL.  Talking to DH, his response is "she needs to learn blah blah blah..."  and yeah, she does and I think she did and will confirm she did.  But right *now* I don't need to hear that same refrain over and over again, ya know?   I needed The Hive.   :thumbup1:

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