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Disadvantages of having a tall for age AL...


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For a number of years now, my kid has been doing things like DE classes and College Board testing that other students drive to by themselves. A used to stick out as an 11yo but puberty sped up after that and A hit 6ft last year.

 

Just dropped off the kid for AP testing where almost every tester has not only driven up himself (testing organized by private boys high school) but has also car pooled with other teens.

 

I feel so helicoptery for driving my 14yo here. If A looks 14 that is ok, one could easily identify the kid as being a young tester, but A does not. Looks every bit as old as the other kids if not taller. But is still as absent minded and asynchronous as ever in a few areas. I really do wish asynchronicity was better recognized as occuring in many different ways.

 

Kid needs to start driving soon. 😊

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Even my 12 yr old doesn't really stand out as much as I'd expect. She's 4' 10", so she's still a shrimp, but there are a lot of tiny brunette college girls out there. She gets asked if she's a gymnast a lot-and answering that she's a cheerleader doesn't change impressions much, since college female cheerleaders tend to be petite.

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My ds was well over 6 foot at 13. I will admit he was always dropped off with his older sister who still looks 13 at 19. He was always happy because he could blend in when snacks were being eaten etc. People talked to him because they didn't know he was much younger. Dd had more problems and she was closer to the common age her little brother tended to make her accepted! Most assume twins.....

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This thread has bothered me ever since I've opened it! My gifted DD, who is 9, is also tall for her age at the top of the height chart for her age. She easily blends into kids 2-3 years older than her, and I always thought it amusing that she looks as old as she preforms academically in many areas... until I read these comments! Thanks for the warning for what's coming up for us!  :laugh:

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Ugh indeed winterbaby!

 

Mamashark, it was amusing for me too till A turned 7 or 8 and I started realizing fully how asynchronous this kid was. Kid looked about 11 years old but was not able to accomplish physical milestones other kids did with ease, or read a clock when asked the time (by someone else) etc. At that age (when he tells them he is 7 not 11) people will ask you if you can ride a bike or what time it is. Not what math or science you are doing! A would still bump against me or other kids when walking. The bumping against me only stopped some time last year.

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I was that kid, and particularly as a girl, my parents looking like they were helicoptering was the least of the concerns. Guys hitting on me, street harassment - and the cringiest, people thinking me and my dad were "together." Ugh.

 

Oh my gosh yes. I looked older and talked older and was in a 34D at 12 and ... creeps. Creeps galore. 

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The only thing worse is looking like a kindergartener in 5th grade, LOL.

 

I didn't have a driver's license until halfway through my freshman year in college.  And some people thought I was my dad's wife too, LOL.

 

But really, I don't think anyone at the test site is thinking about how your son gets there.  They are probably hoping they remember their geometry theorums or whatever those are called, LOL.

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Ugh indeed winterbaby!

 

Mamashark, it was amusing for me too till A turned 7 or 8 and I started realizing fully how asynchronous this kid was. Kid looked about 11 years old but was not able to accomplish physical milestones other kids did with ease, or read a clock when asked the time (by someone else) etc. At that age (when he tells them he is 7 not 11) people will ask you if you can ride a bike or what time it is. Not what math or science you are doing! A would still bump against me or other kids when walking. The bumping against me only stopped some time last year.

Ds was probably 12 at the time.....We were out doing a long country walk with another family that we have essentially raised the kids with. It had probably been three weeks since we had been able to walk and DS had gotten a couple inches taller with bigger feet etc. He spontaneously fell three times on that walk. It was a scene out of a comedy show! The first fall terrified the other family but by number three they got it, let the kid pick himself up and move on. The boy was falling over his own giant feet because he wasn't used to having them.....size 13 at 12. Btw, he was always big for age and always clumsy. The last big growth spurt of a foot in a few months was simply the worst of it.

 

The clock thing is just ugg. Dd still has to really think to read a clock with a face and can't estimate distance with any accuracy. Ask her for about 6 inches and she freezes because her mind just can't. Linear Algebra is easy but inches and clocks are hard. She is a gifted artist and her work is proportional always, it's just the inch thing. If she can do it discretely she can use her fingers to measure the amount. We worked for years for by intuition and she just can't.

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But really, I don't think anyone at the test site is thinking about how your son gets there.  They are probably hoping they remember their geometry theorums or whatever those are called, LOL.

 

I'm sure inside the center everything must have been okay (unless of course kid forgot that tables have edges and dropped pens and pencils multiple times like what happens at home and I am sure at CC/ uni too).

 

It was the parking lot...I felt so shy when some teens parked next to my car and smiled in a friendly way at me. I was the only adult there. :tongue_smilie:

 

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Ds was probably 12 at the time.....We were out doing a long country walk with another family that we have essentially raised the kids with. It had probably been three weeks since we had been able to walk and DS had gotten a couple inches taller with bigger feet etc. He spontaneously fell three times on that walk. It was a scene out of a comedy show! The first fall terrified the other family but by number three they got it, let the kid pick himself up and move on. The boy was falling over his own giant feet because he wasn't used to having them.....size 13 at 12. Btw, he was always big for age and always clumsy. The last big growth spurt of a foot in a few months was simply the worst of it.

 

Oh my goodness. You have my kid. :grouphug:

 

Mine now has a walking stick. Just in case. :lol:

 

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Just wanted to say I am liking all these posts to empathize/ say I get it.

 

Oh my gosh yes. I looked older and talked older and was in a 34D at 12 and ... creeps. Creeps galore. 

 

Ugh again. I spent a good part of my teen years holding pocket files/ paperwork binders against my chest. I totally get this.
 

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I was that kid, and particularly as a girl, my parents looking like they were helicoptering was the least of the concerns. Guys hitting on me, street harassment - and the cringiest, people thinking me and my dad were "together." Ugh.

 

The niece of my best friend had a T-Shirt to wear in certain situations.  She was a well-developed attractive 12-year-old.   It was a long T-shirt with 12 in big letters and "I am" in smaller font above it.  

Wayy too old buys/men were hitting on her, and the boys her age that she wanted to hang out with avoided her because she looked too old.   The t-shirt took care of both problems.  

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It was the parking lot...I felt so shy when some teens parked next to my car and smiled in a friendly way at me. I was the only adult there. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I took the SAT when I was 20 and my husband (who is 8 years older) drove me there. That got some odd looks - I'm thinking now that maybe some kids thought it was my dad that I was too intimate with.

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The nice thing about having a tall AL is that they blend easily into the group of older kids when they're placed in a group working at their level (and so don't get judged as being a misfit little upstart and ALSO don't get the praise and compliments about how amazing they are, which can influence them in negative ways over time)...

 

However, the hard thing about having a tall AL is that they blend easily into the group of older kids!  Wait, didn't I say that was a nice thing?  Well, yes, until they have a moment when they act their age and then everyone assumes they are being immature or misbehaving... other parents judge US... 

 

I can share some of my experiences involving the downside of having tall ALs.

 

My oldest was the size of a 3 year old at 12 months.  We were at the playground and he was standing around my legs and just being cute. The other adults made several comments and asked me why I didn't just "let him go play." They obviously thought he should be out there tearing around with the other 3 year olds... and being a first-time mom, *I* didn't realize he was actually much younger than those other kids and started to doubt my parenting (Was he too "clingy?" Did I need to encourage him socially? What WAS I doing wrong??). Now I look back and realize that the other 12 month olds at the playground that day were still confined to their strollers, eating snacks from their mommies' hands. Silly me to feel such doubt!

 

My second child was a 4 year old in a music class of 5-7 year olds. She sat in line with the other 6-7 year olds and followed the teacher's directions... for the entire 45 minute class... except the few times when she got wiggly. When she was wiggly she was redirected a bit harshly, just like the 6-7 year olds.  I didn't realize it at the time, but the 5 year olds were allowed (and encouraged) to sit on their mothers' laps when they were not actively participating. I didn't realize she was so much younger than the other kids, and the expectations (and teacher's reaction) were unrealistic.  Kudos to her for largely living up to those expectations, but looking back, I wish the teacher had remembered she was 4 (and I wish I had known at the time that she was younger than the other kids)!

 

My youngest routinely befriends 8-9 year olds in her music class.  (She is 7.)  She is more on-task and focused than most of these kids during the class... but *the look* the parents give me if they happen to catch her having some age-related behavior after class!  One 9 year old who was enjoying dd's company for a few weeks suddenly turned a cold shoulder (and starting acting superior) when she asked dd about school and discovered the kid was a first grader. Sigh!  The girl no longer even makes eye contact with dd. Dd was hurt and sad at the change in her "friend."

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