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gardenmom5
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from my cray cray brother.

 

shoot me now.

 

I've been uber frazzled over dudeling for several reasons - all boiling down to his refusal to do ANYTHING he doesn't want to do.

my, you should have heard him screaming last night because I arranged for his computer to auto-signed out . . . . .

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:grouphug:

 

We all have our limits.

 

My 4 year old had a massive meltdown this afternoon because I carried a load of laundry downstairs and apparently he wanted me to hold his hand while doing it. The screaming went on for half an hour before I finally worked out with him that we could take laundry downstairs together as a re-do. It took two tries to get it right but once we did he went back to being cheerful.

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:grouphug:

 

We all have our limits.

 

My 4 year old had a massive meltdown this afternoon because I carried a load of laundry downstairs and apparently he wanted me to hold his hand while doing it. The screaming went on for half an hour before I finally worked out with him that we could take laundry downstairs together as a re-do. It took two tries to get it right but once we did he went back to being cheerful.

I've been reading the pregnancy at 46 thread and was thinking maybe it would be nice to have a 1yo right now...thanks for returning me to earth, lol

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No matter who much you may mature... cray cray happens. I'm sorry, but there is no reason to feel stupid for being human and bumping into the limitations of personality and training. You don't have to follow up. You also don't have to do anything for your youngest if you don't want to... the French Foreign Legion might take him... (I"m not sure if the Foreign Legion is a myth or not, but it sounds so mysterious!).

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No matter who much you may mature... cray cray happens. I'm sorry, but there is no reason to feel stupid for being human and bumping into the limitations of personality and training. You don't have to follow up. You also don't have to do anything for your youngest if you don't want to... the French Foreign Legion might take him... (I"m not sure if the Foreign Legion is a myth or not, but it sounds so mysterious!).

 

:confused1:  :confused1:  :confused1:  what?

I do NOT "feel stupid".  eye roll .smh worthy exasperated maybe.  I'm certainly not beating myself up (or losing sleep) about it.  I'm saddened he's such an obnoxious nut case, and concerned because he seems to be getting worse.  and he wonders why his oldest daughter again refuses to have contact with him.   (her brother chooses her over him.)

 

what does "training" even mean?

 

I do what I want for my aspie - who has many issues that are beyond his control.   it is my job to help him to the best of my abilities because one day -he will be on his own.  I've launched kids, I know what's required.. I have two completely independent and own their own homes.  (even paid off their student loans.) two in various stages of working towards it, etc. but progressing and where I am mostly hands off.

 

as for the fff - not sure it still exists, though it did once. 

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I've been reading the pregnancy at 46 thread and was thinking maybe it would be nice to have a 1yo right now...thanks for returning me to earth, lol

 

I have friends who did it just fine.  if dudeling hadn't had so many issues - it would have been much easier.

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:grouphug:

 

We all have our limits.

 

My 4 year old had a massive meltdown this afternoon because I carried a load of laundry downstairs and apparently he wanted me to hold his hand while doing it. The screaming went on for half an hour before I finally worked out with him that we could take laundry downstairs together as a re-do. It took two tries to get it right but once we did he went back to being cheerful.

 

we still smile at the day 1dd had a meltdown because we wouldn't let her stay up to watch der ring des nibelungen.. .. .she was 5, and couldn't stay awake much past 9:30 to save her life.

 

one time she and 2dd were having a sleepover at my sister's... to get them to go to bed, she told them they could scream at her husband and surprise him when he came home at midnight after his swing shift. . . . .my sister, naively, thought three little girls would go to sleep. she was surprised to hear them screaming. he thought they were being attacked.  1dd . . . slept through it all.

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:confused1:  :confused1:  :confused1:  what?

I do NOT "feel stupid".  eye roll .smh worthy exasperated maybe.  I'm certainly not beating myself up (or losing sleep) about it.  I'm saddened he's such an obnoxious nut case, and concerned because he seems to be getting worse.  and he wonders why his oldest daughter again refuses to have contact with him.   (her brother chooses her over him.)

 

what does "training" even mean?

 

I do what I want for my aspie - who has many issues that are beyond his control.   it is my job to help him to the best of my abilities because one day -he will be on his own.  I've launched kids, I know what's required.. I have two completely independent and own their own homes.  (even paid off their student loans.) two in various stages of working towards it, etc. but progressing and where I am mostly hands off.

 

as for the fff - not sure it still exists, though it did once. 

 

You know what they say, "First time burned, your mistake. Second time burned, my fault."  You touched something on his computer. You knew his personality. Your fault. I guess someone thought you were feeling bad about that.

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You know what they say, "First time burned, your mistake. Second time burned, my fault."  You touched something on his computer. You knew his personality. Your fault. I guess someone thought you were feeling bad about that.

 

I touched something on his computer???

 

he deleted files regarding my mother's estate from my husband's computer.

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You know what they say, "First time burned, your mistake. Second time burned, my fault."  You touched something on his computer. You knew his personality. Your fault. I guess someone thought you were feeling bad about that.

 

I don't find this helpful.

 

I hope I am misunderstanding what you are saying.

Edited by DawnM
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No matter who much you may mature... cray cray happens. I'm sorry, but there is no reason to feel stupid for being human and bumping into the limitations of personality and training. You don't have to follow up. You also don't have to do anything for your youngest if you don't want to... the French Foreign Legion might take him... (I"m not sure if the Foreign Legion is a myth or not, but it sounds so mysterious!).

I understood your post as trying to be encouraging and was surprised you got attacked.

 

And yes, the French Foreign Legion still exists.

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I touched something on his computer???

 

he deleted files regarding my mother's estate from my husband's computer.

I think she was referring to setting your son's computer to auto sign out and that there is a bunch of mis-communication happening here unintentionally.

 

Sending hugs and I hope today is low stress for you!

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Gently...people are only going by what you wrote. They're trying to be sympathetic and help. Since you wrote "I arranged for his computer to auto-signed out," people (me included) read that as something being done to DS's computer. Nobody has any way of knowing, based on the OP, that he did something MAJOR to your husband's first. (FWIW, I have an aspie who also doesn't like doing anything he doesn't want to do. So I'm with you and sympathizing 100% right there.)

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I think she was referring to your son's computer and that there is a bunch of mis-communication happening here unintentionally.

 

Sending hugs and I hope today is low stress for you!

 

 

that makes more sense.  

we were able to have a good conversation about it later, as I was able to get through to him why I did it, and what my expectations were for him regarding the computer.  all-in-all, I think it was fairly positive.

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I think the comment about your youngest was mostly meant to be lighthearted :)

:confused1: :confused1: :confused1: what?

I do NOT "feel stupid". eye roll .smh worthy exasperated maybe. I'm certainly not beating myself up (or losing sleep) about it. I'm saddened he's such an obnoxious nut case, and concerned because he seems to be getting worse. and he wonders why his oldest daughter again refuses to have contact with him. (her brother chooses her over him.)

 

what does "training" even mean?

 

I do what I want for my aspie - who has many issues that are beyond his control. it is my job to help him to the best of my abilities because one day -he will be on his own. I've launched kids, I know what's required.. I have two completely independent and own their own homes. (even paid off their student loans.) two in various stages of working towards it, etc. but progressing and where I am mostly hands off.

 

as for the fff - not sure it still exists, though it did once.

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No matter who much you may mature... cray cray happens. I'm sorry, but there is no reason to feel stupid for being human and bumping into the limitations of personality and training. You don't have to follow up. You also don't have to do anything for your youngest if you don't want to... the French Foreign Legion might take him... (I"m not sure if the Foreign Legion is a myth or not, but it sounds so mysterious!).

 

 

:confused1:  :confused1:  :confused1:  what?

I do NOT "feel stupid".  eye roll .smh worthy exasperated maybe.  I'm certainly not beating myself up (or losing sleep) about it.  I'm saddened he's such an obnoxious nut case, and concerned because he seems to be getting worse.  and he wonders why his oldest daughter again refuses to have contact with him.   (her brother chooses her over him.)

 

what does "training" even mean?

 

I do what I want for my aspie - who has many issues that are beyond his control.   it is my job to help him to the best of my abilities because one day -he will be on his own.  I've launched kids, I know what's required.. I have two completely independent and own their own homes.  (even paid off their student loans.) two in various stages of working towards it, etc. but progressing and where I am mostly hands off.

 

as for the fff - not sure it still exists, though it did once. 

 

 

Yeah, I think Anne's post was intended to be lighthearted and supportive, not hurtful or insulting.  There wasn't a lot of info to go on in the OP so people were trying to understand what was happening and respond in a supportive way.  

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I touched something on his computer???

 

he deleted files regarding my mother's estate from my husband's computer.

 

You come here looking for sympathy, or just to vent, and people try to offer something. Now you blast us. How is this different than what your brother is doing to you?

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Yeah, I think Anne's post was intended to be lighthearted and supportive, not hurtful or insulting. There wasn't a lot of info to go on in the OP so people were trying to understand what was happening and respond in a supportive way.

My brother is nuts. I've posted before. Scarlett and I can relate. He's into crazy stuff and is always sending me links.

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You come here looking for sympathy, or just to vent, and people try to offer something. Now you blast us. How is this different than what your brother is doing to you?

I apologize for not understanding your post. I was seriously confused.

 

I'm going to be off for a few hours due to obligations. I'll be back later.

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My brother is nuts. I've posted before. Scarlett and I can relate. He's into crazy stuff and is always sending me links.

Oh yeah, I can relate. One of his latest texts to me was a Google Earth shot with what appeared to be a blur in the middle obscuring a portion of the shot. He says, 'see! I am not some paranoid hick! The government is hiding stuff'.

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