Is there a thread yet about 13 Reasons Why?

[Hyacinth]

Can someone point me to it if so?

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

There was one maybe two weeks ago? I don't ever have much luck with the search function or I'd track it down for you.

Edited April 27, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[Hyacinth]

That's my problem, too!

[Joules]

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/642089-watch-13-reasons-why-on-netflix/

 

I can never find my own threads, but I found this!

[Jean in Newcastle]

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/642089-watch-13-reasons-why-on-netflix/?do=findComment&comment=7527667

[Word Nerd]

I've read a couple articles about the concerns mental health professionals working with teens have about the series. It sounds like something that could be risky for some kids to watch, given the way suicide is handled in it and the way kids are influenced by that.

 

Suicide-prevention groups have also issued warnings because they say suicide is sensationalized, the counselor the girl asked asked for help from blew her off, and the series offered no real alternatives to suicide.

[Hyacinth]

Thanks for the links!

 

I just finished the series this morning and I'm feeling . . . I don't know what. Sad. Disgusted. Concerned. Sad again. So much ugliness conveyed in the show: objectification, harassment, stalking, shaming, backstabbing, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, verbal assault, physical violence, rape, suicide . . .

 

 

[clementine]

I'm still not sure what to think about it.  I am watching it with my 18yo dd - we are on episode 6 (I think).  I think it has the potential for both good and bad.  

 

I hope it opens kids' eyes to how their behavior could affect others, ALTHOUGH in my experience bullies rarely take ownership of their behavior or see the consequences of it.  

 

I hope that it doesn't give kids who might be suicidal the idea that others will obsess about them and their (possible) death for a long time and suffer because of it.  I do feel like the show might glorify suicide in that way.  

 

I do hope that the one outcome of the show's popularity is to bring mental illness/depression/suicidal behaviors to light and open more conversation about it.  

[Guest]

I know I live in a bubble but, is high school really like that? My kids go to public high school so I like to think I'm not totally clueless.

I found the whole thing depressing. And I'm not convinced that a smart kid with no history of depression, who had it together enough to set up a post-suicide "game" for her peers, and who had a decent relationship with parents who clearly cared about her would commit suicide.

 

Did you hear that they are making season 2?

[Butter]

I know I live in a bubble but, is high school really like that?

 

Sadly, yes.  In fact, some girls my daughter knows who go to public school were recently talking about the show and they were pointing out things that pretty much were exactly like stuff that had happened at their high school and said it's amazing how accurate they portrayed the school environment.  One of the girls said high school really is a toxic environment (this surprised my daughter since this girl seems to love going to school).

Edited April 27, 2017 by Butter

[tmstranger]

So, are you guys letting your kids watch?

 

Many of my Facebook friends are of the opinion that it must be seen by all teens, including my 13yo's friends. These are parents of kids in public school.

 

I watched it, but I don't think my son should see it... at least not at 13. Homeschooling, thankfully, buffers him from much of that.

Edited April 27, 2017 by tmstranger

[Hyacinth]

So, are you guys letting your kids watch?

 

Many of my Facebook friends are of the opinion that it must be seen by all teens, including my 13yo's friends. These are parents of kids in public school.

 

I watched it, but I don't think my son should see it... at least not at 13. Homeschooling, thankfully, buffers him from much of that.

 

My boys aren't interested, and I'm okay with that. They are aware of some of the issues the series portrays, but I think the in-your-face approach would bewilder rather than enlighten them. 

 

[tmstranger]

My boys aren't interested, and I'm okay with that. They are aware of some of the issues the series portrays, but I think the in-your-face approach would bewilder rather than enlighten them.

 

I've discussed many of the issues in the show with my son, but I worry about the graphic nature of it on screen.

[Word Nerd]

So, are you guys letting your kids watch?

 

Many of my Facebook friends are of the opinion that it must be seen by all teens, including my 13yo's friends. These are parents of kids in public school.

 

I watched it, but I don't think my son should see it... at least not at 13. Homeschooling, thankfully, buffers him from much of that.

 

My older DD read the book and watched a couple of episodes before deciding not to continue. I do not want my younger DD (11) to watch it, at least for now. 

[Butter]

So, are you guys letting your kids watch?

 

My 15- and 17-year-olds are both somewhere around the middle (as am I).  My 17yo read the book (as did I).  My friend's barely 13yo wanted to watch it because all her friends are and my 17yo and one of her friends said not to let her watch it.  I agree.

[AmandaVT]

This has been a topic at work recently (I work for a therapy office). I have a friend who is a middle school counselor and they have been sending out e-mails to parents asking them to not let their kids watch the show. From what I've heard, it's detrimental to the mental health of kids that are already struggling. The school that my friend works at has a large number of kids cutting this year and it's getting worse since the show came out. :-( 

[DesertBlossom]

I started to watch it and got to episode 5 or 6 and was beginning to be very bothered by it.  Then I found an online episode summary and read that instead.  I am glad I didn't finish watching it.  It concerns me the way Hannah set up this elaborate plan to make everyone who had wronged her feel guilty about it for the rest of their lives. I mean, the stuff some of those kids did was awful. Truly awful. But more than anything, I came away feeling like the high school culture is toxic and that we need to address that first and foremost. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

My Dd really likes it and has recommended it to dh and me. We've had some good discussions. I think that if Dd had some underlying issues that made her vulnerable that would be different. But Dd is emotionally healthy and doesn't feel like the book or show portray suicide in a good light at all.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[lewber]

This is of big interest to my DS14's Circle right now. Several of his friends have watched it, their parents have posted about it on Facebook with their takes. We have not. DS talked about it for awhile, but we've decided not to right now. We might watch this summer before he goes to the high school.

Sadly, the parents who have watched it say their kids had seen or heard about those issues at their school. I have talked to DS about what to do if he hears anyone talk about suicide. He's had two kids in his extended circle who have talked about it to other friends. In that regard, it raised our awareness and knowledge about suicide without watching it. So that is a good thing.

[Momto4inSoCal]

I really liked the show. I was a troubled teen and a lot of stuff in the show hit home. As an adult who had somewhat forgotten many of those issues it was a great reminder of how all encompassing these problems can be. As an adult a lot of problems seem so trivial but as a teen any one of the 13 reasons could make them feels as if their entire world is over. I'm a mom of 2 girls 11 and 12 and I appreciated the reminder of the culture these kids live in. It also made me happy that we homeschool. I should add I think it is a great show for adults and well adjusted teens to see how actions that you may not put a lot of thought into can really affect people, I don't see it as being a great show for mentally distressed teens. I can see it adding to the feeling of hopelessness.

Edited April 27, 2017 by Momto4inSoCal

[6packofun]

So, are you guys letting your kids watch?

 

Many of my Facebook friends are of the opinion that it must be seen by all teens, including my 13yo's friends. These are parents of kids in public school.

 

 

In the comments after every single negative or warning type article about this show online that I've seen, the majority of parents rave about how needed this is and how they really liked the show and how well done it is and if you don't like it or worry, well, you just, like, aren't "getting it".  It's funny, all of those parents sound like teenagers themselves and it made me realize that without a Netflix show they might never have even thought to discuss this important topic with their kids or wonder what their kids go through in the public institution they're dropped off at 5 days a week.  Which isn't an endorsement of the show; it's more an indictment of today's parent-as-friend culture (or, sadly ABSENT parent)  rather than parent-as-protector-and-teacher.

[catz]

I think this is an excellent discussion on the issues with this show

 

https://theschoolcounselorkind.wordpress.com/2017/04/21/responding-to-13-reasons-why/

 

I have some personal history with mental illness and suicide I won't go into here and honestly this show lost me with the premise alone that someone hopeless enough to commit suicide had the presence of mind to produce 13 tapes telling how the world did her wrong.  Over 90% of suicides are rooted in mental illness.   Many mental health professionals are alarmed by how suicide is treated in this series.

 

I also am eye rolling at the people that say this is a must watch series for teens.  I have had discussions on mental health, rape culture, sexual harassment, bullying, consent, bodily autonomy, etc with my kids all along.  I don't think these kinds of discussions need to be rooted in a fictional series.  If it's been a good tool for some - fine.  I hope parents are talking to kids about mental health and how important seeking professional help is.  If the point was really talking about these issues I think doing a documentary talking about real situations and issues would be more powerful.  I do think this is sensationalized.

 

My 16 year old can watch if he wants.  He has no interest so far.  My 12 year old cannot watch for a while.

[catz]

In the comments after every single negative or warning type article about this show online that I've seen, the majority of parents rave about how needed this is and how they really liked the show and how well done it is and if you don't like it or worry, well, you just, like, aren't "getting it".  It's funny, all of those parents sound like teenagers themselves and it made me realize that without a Netflix show they might never have even thought to discuss this important topic with their kids or wonder what their kids go through in the public institution they're dropped off at 5 days a week.  Which isn't an endorsement of the show; it's more an indictment of today's parent-as-friend culture (or, sadly ABSENT parent)  rather than parent-as-protector-and-teacher.

 

:iagree: I could not agree with this more. 

[amy g.]

This was filmed a couple of blocks from my house. That is the main reason why I watched it. I'm pretty sure that season 2 is being planned because I heard the owner of the Monarch Cafe saying that after season 2 he plans to turn it into a real cafe to appeal to fans of the show.

 

I don't feel the need for any of my kids to watch it, but I can see how it would be helpful for some kids.

 

I do think that High School can be very much like it was portrayed in the show. Many of my friends who ended up sending there kids to PS have delt with rape and suicide attempts and an obsession with looks and sexual relationships which would be frankly unacceptable in my family.

 

I don't feel like my particular teenager is in danger of any of those things. I do have a talk planned about date rape drugs and the sad fact that sometime you should not trust the people that you think you can.

 

But as a previous poster said, I don't need a Netflix series to help me have that discussion.

 

I'm happy that the show is there for families that need to hear the message.

[happi duck]

I don't think it's rated for kids. I do think it is way too graphic for young teens.

 

I wish I hadn't seen the suicide scene.

 

I read an article that bemoaned that it did not show getting help via the many avenues for help...what?!?! I have never been able to get help without fighting for it. I have worked up the nerve to ask for help and been blown off or forgotten.

 

The article also said "why not stand up to the boys?" I'm not from the planet where standing up to the gropey, rapey guys works out for the victim.

 

I unfortunately thought it was an accurate portrayal.

 

I didn't see it as a revenge story.

 

I can't recommend it because it is so triggering but I think there are important things there.

[amy g.]

And sadly, the scene where she goes to the school counselor for help rang very true.

 

I'm my own group of friends, there has never been any follow up when popular boys rape.

[Farrar]

I'd be fine with my 12 yos seeing it, but they're not interested.

 

I'm about halfway through... It's... odd. I am far from expert, but I think it really misrepresents suicide. Perhaps the picture becomes clearer in the second half of the show, but it seems to have several messages that I don't think I fully agree with. First, that at least some people commit suicide as a form of revenge or to punish people. Like, in a "you'll be sorry when I'm gone!" kind of way. I don't know that I want to step into whether or not suicide is or isn't "selfish" but I don't think the vast majority of people who commit suicide believe they're acting selfishly. It's part of the depression that they believe the world would be better off without them. Hannah Baker seems to have thought she could use her own death to punish everyone who ever did her wrong. 

 

Second - and a couple of the reviews I read suggested something along these lines - it seems to suggest that suicide is an easily preventable tragedy. If only we didn't bully people, they wouldn't kill themselves. And that suicide is a mystery that you can "solve." But, again, I'm not an expert by any means, but I think some people who have all the supports in the world commit suicide. And that some people who were never bullied or mistreated commit suicide.

 

I'm sort of curious to finish it. Many of the other aspects of the show do jibe with what I know of high school today. I mean, in a TV way, of course.

Edited April 28, 2017 by Farrar

[Jean in Newcastle]

Chiming back in to say that my Dd and her friends do not read the book or watch the show because of talking points or because they need to be exposed to a certain message. They read/watch it because it is an interesting story to them. Which is the same reason I read books or watch shows that might include difficult material.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Chrysalis Academy]

I finished watching it last weekend, and haven't stopped thinking about it since. When I first saw it, and watched the first episode, I asked dd not to watch it on her own, but that if she wanted to watch it, we would watch it together (so we could talk about the issues it raised). I don't think she's interested at this point, which frankly I'm kind of relieved by, as I have mixed feelings about the show. It was very painful, powerful, difficult to watch. And important. Maybe as important for parents, teachers, counselors to watch, as a reminder of the pressures kids face. I felt that those aspects - the way kids treated each other -  were, unfortunately, presented very realistically. Especially disturbing and worthy of discussion with daughters - and sons - were the two rape scenes. 

 

The suicide? I don't know. I felt like there were a lot problems with Hannah's character, and her choices, and the whole tone of the tapes and where they supposedly fit into the story just didn't really work. It didn't work artistically, it didn't feel realistic, so it made the whole thing feel very contrived, which made it seem more shocking for the sake of being shocking rather than shocking in a realistic way. I'm not an expert in suicidal behavior, but it all felt very false and created such a jarring resolution that it's just left me . . . kind of hanging and numb.  Not sure. Clearly I haven't finished processing it yet. I appreciate the links and look forward to reading them.

Edited April 28, 2017 by Chrysalis Academy

[catz]

 

The suicide? I don't know. I felt like there were a lot problems with Hannah's character, and her choices, and the whole tone of the tapes and where they supposedly fit into the story just didn't really work. It didn't work artistically, it didn't feel realistic, so it made the whole thing feel very contrived, which made it seem more shocking for the sake of being shocking rather than shocking in a realistic way. I'm not an expert in suicidal behavior, but it all felt very false and created such a jarring resolution that it's just left me . . . kind of hanging and numb.  Not sure. Clearly I haven't finished processing it yet. I appreciate the links and look forward to reading them.

 

This is very much how I felt watching it too. 

[1GirlTwinBoys]

So, are you guys letting your kids watch? 

 

My boys will be 13 next week and my DD just turned 14.  I'm NOT letting them watch after I've had a chance to watch some of it.  I know that a lot of kids at their school are watching.  I just don't feel it's appropriate for their age and not really needed.  Fortunately my kids go to a wonderful public school that doesn't have to deal with much bullying etc...  They love school and have told me they just don't see any of that.  

 

BTW, this is their 2nd year of PS and they were completely homeschool before then.  

[Guest]

I think this is an excellent discussion on the issues with this show

 

https://theschoolcounselorkind.wordpress.com/2017/04/21/responding-to-13-reasons-why/

 

I have some personal history with mental illness and suicide I won't go into here and honestly this show lost me with the premise alone that someone hopeless enough to commit suicide had the presence of mind to produce 13 tapes telling how the world did her wrong. Over 90% of suicides are rooted in mental illness. Many mental health professionals are alarmed by how suicide is treated in this series.

 

I also am eye rolling at the people that say this is a must watch series for teens. I have had discussions on mental health, rape culture, sexual harassment, bullying, consent, bodily autonomy, etc with my kids all along. I don't think these kinds of discussions need to be rooted in a fictional series. If it's been a good tool for some - fine. I hope parents are talking to kids about mental health and how important seeking professional help is. If the point was really talking about these issues I think doing a documentary talking about real situations and issues would be more powerful. I do think this is sensationalized.

 

My 16 year old can watch if he wants. He has no interest so far. My 12 year old cannot watch for a while.

I'm surprised it's consider must watch for kids, because I think the messages are much better aimed at parents. The kids know what they go through.

 

As a teen who attempted suicide and struggled in many ways similar to fictional Hannah, I really felt it resonate with me deeply. It also reaffirms some of the reasons why I homeschool - to spare my kids are least some of that pressure cooker insanity that is middle school and high school.

[SereneHome]

I just want to preface my post by this:

 

I only read the book and won't be watching the show as I don't like doing both - I either read a book or watch movie/show

 

I was a teenager in a different country and a little bit here so I am not very familiar with US high schools.

 

The rape in the book happens almost at the end, when she pretty much decided to commit suicide so wasn't interested what happens to her at all and gave in to the guy.  Not sure how it happens in the show.

 

I was left with very conflicting feelings about the book.  On one side, the butterfly effect is real.  Our words, our actions, no matter how minor they might seem to us  can have devastating effects on others.  On another - are kids today less capable of dealing with life?  Is bullying really that much worse today bc of social media?  Or people just not handling adversities? 

 

 

 

 

[Mabelen]

I have a 13 year old in public school and this is the first thing I have heard about it. I have already touched on about suicide, bullying, sexual harassment etc. with my daughter. I will have to investigate. Thank you for bringing this book/movie up.

[imagine.more]

I know I live in a bubble but, is high school really like that? My kids go to public high school so I like to think I'm not totally clueless.

I found the whole thing depressing. And I'm not convinced that a smart kid with no history of depression, who had it together enough to set up a post-suicide "game" for her peers, and who had a decent relationship with parents who clearly cared about her would commit suicide.

 

Did you hear that they are making season 2?

I know I live in a bubble but, is high school really like that? My kids go to public high school so I like to think I'm not totally clueless.

I found the whole thing depressing. And I'm not convinced that a smart kid with no history of depression, who had it together enough to set up a post-suicide "game" for her peers, and who had a decent relationship with parents who clearly cared about her would commit suicide.

 

Did you hear that they are making season 2?

Actually my husband and I, who both went to public school, were commenting on how accurately it portrayed high school. Aside from the rapes, which I believe happen but never to my group of friends though molestation and harassment did, everything else was pretty par for the course. The kids' attitudes, the sort of laziness of parents/school administrators about dealing with obvious signs of problems, the way the teens just sort of ignore bullying and low grade sexual abuse amongst peers.

 

This is why my kids won't go to public high school. I don't see how sexual harassment, bomb threats (multiple times a year in our high school), suicides (one awful time in math class, several attempts in the bathrooms or at home), drinking, drugs, bullying, or social neglect are necessary things to experience. Especially because adulthood isn't like that at all. God, if I knew just how unlike life high school was things would have been different. And for the record my high school was an affluent school, not some povert-ridden or low-achieving school. Just a normal suburban high school. And those things shouldn't be normal.

[Farrar]

I'm still not all the way through, but another thing I'm increasingly bothered by is Hannah continuing to say these things about how she wanted to believe in a sort of romantic, I'm looking for the right guy kind of thing. And the show seems to support that view. I don't actually have anything against teen romance (though I know many on this board do) but I think the glorification of romance - particularly one true loves - is really problematic but also really pervasive in the media and in the belief of teen girls. Obviously, it doesn't show it happening in the show... but there does seem to be this undercurrent of Hannah looking for a Mr. Right who never exists as being something she deserved and never got and I find that to be sort of a problem in terms of what the narrative is encouraging.

[SeaConquest]

Despite the graphic nature of the suicide, I don't think the show is a good representation of suicidality specifically or mental illness generally. I was disappointed. Yes, bro culture, sexual assault, and bullying are all important topics, and can contribute to depression, but the vast majority of suicides are rooted in mental illness. Period. The show barely touched on the real underlying issue, the real reason why, if you will, and sensationalizes the suicide-as-revenge trope.

Edited April 29, 2017 by SeaConquest

[SeaConquest]

This is what people should be watching instead: http://www.bevocalspeakup.com/documentary.html

[ocelotmom]

My Dd really likes it and has recommended it to dh and me. We've had some good discussions. I think that if Dd had some underlying issues that made her vulnerable that would be different. But Dd is emotionally healthy and doesn't feel like the book or show portray suicide in a good light at all.

 

Having not seen the show, but having read the book... I kind of wonder if this is who the show is aimed at? Kids like the protagonist, who are overall mentally healthy and don't really have a personal understanding of what someone with mental health issues might be feeling, who might not know how or when to reach out.

 

I've seen multiple people, here and elsewhere, criticize that the series doesn't offer a realistic alternative to suicide, and that's not at all the message I took from the book. Maybe the show is different. But the book... maybe it didn't offer a whole lot of alternative to someone who is themself suicidal. But really, someone who is actively suicidal needs outside help. I'm not sure what alternative a TV show could really present. Suicidal people are generally quite good about rationalizing away alternatives. 

 

But encouraging openness about mental health issues and and reaching out to others does present a real alternative.

[Farrar]

Having not seen the show, but having read the book... I kind of wonder if this is who the show is aimed at? Kids like the protagonist, who are overall mentally healthy and don't really have a personal understanding of what someone with mental health issues might be feeling, who might not know how or when to reach out.

 

I've seen multiple people, here and elsewhere, criticize that the series doesn't offer a realistic alternative to suicide, and that's not at all the message I took from the book. Maybe the show is different. But the book... maybe it didn't offer a whole lot of alternative to someone who is themself suicidal. But really, someone who is actively suicidal needs outside help. I'm not sure what alternative a TV show could really present. Suicidal people are generally quite good about rationalizing away alternatives. 

 

But encouraging openness about mental health issues and and reaching out to others does present a real alternative.

 

I think it's different. For one thing, the protagonist in the show does have a history of mental health issues.

 

My own critique isn't that the show doesn't offer an alternative to suicide (though I've seen that critique as well) but rather that the suicide itself isn't presented realistically.

 

Despite the issues with the show, I can easily imagine that it does do some good in getting families and teens talking about these issues. I mean, just discussing these critiques can be useful for kids, I think. And, as others are pointing out, the meat of the show may actually be in the look at the pervasiveness of what might be called "casual" bullying and sexual assault, which is done way more realistically.

[Scarlett]

Thanks to this thread I've discussed with Dh and we both agree we do not want our boys watching this without us. Dss16 has no interest and ds17 does but probably not enough to watch it with me.

[SeaConquest]

I think it's different. For one thing, the protagonist in the show does have a history of mental health issues.

 

My own critique isn't that the show doesn't offer an alternative to suicide (though I've seen that critique as well) but rather that the suicide itself isn't presented realistically.

 

Despite the issues with the show, I can easily imagine that it does do some good in getting families and teens talking about these issues. I mean, just discussing these critiques can be useful for kids, I think. And, as others are pointing out, the meat of the show may actually be in the look at the pervasiveness of what might be called "casual" bullying and sexual assault, which is done way more realistically.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201704/13-reasons-why-13-reasons-why-isn-t-getting-it-right%3famp

 

This list is worth reading, as is most especially the essay written by Ijeoma Oluo mentioned therein.

 

My own issue is that by not identifying mental illness as the root cause of suicide, and turning suicide into some teen revenge fantasy, it further stigmatizes actual mental illness.

[Joules]

It was hard for me to watch, but I was glad I watched it.  I was more engaged in the story than thinking about the moral or audience at the time.  It's a terrible trigger for someone depressed or suicidal, and true bullies would laugh it off.  The only teens that it might help are those that are complicit in bullying who might, after watching it, step up.  I thought the pain that she went through was visceral and might help parents see how awful being trapped in high school can be.

 

Oddly, I felt more sympathy for Hannah than most.  I didn't really see her actions as revenge.  She just wanted to be heard.  She wanted someone to listen and understand.  I think ultimately the only way she thought she would get that was in her version of a suicide note.  It doesn't diminish the mental illness aspect.  It gives a view into how a person's logic, reasoning, and view of the world can be distorted by the illness.

[Carrie12345]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201704/13-reasons-why-13-reasons-why-isn-t-getting-it-right%3famp

 

This list is worth reading, as is most especially the essay written by Ijeoma Oluo mentioned therein.

 

My own issue is that by not identifying mental illness as the root cause of suicide, and turning suicide into some teen revenge fantasy, it further stigmatizes actual mental illness.

 

 

I haven't finished the show yet, and my daughters are reading the book, so I wasn't yet entirely sure whether or not they were going to specify any mental illness.  Now that I read this, I agree that's a real problem.

 

Maybe it's strange, but dh and I, with personal and family histories of various mental illnesses, haven't been seeing it as a "revenge suicide".  For me, the entire focus has been on the behaviors "we" don't recognize as damaging, the consideration we don't give others, and the ease of looking away.  Not just when it comes to Hannah's experiences, but those of every single person.  Each of the characters coped with these things differently, some better than others, all in pain.

 

In my mind, Hannah's decision is the impetus for the discussion, not the actual discussion.

[Joules]

I haven't finished the show yet, and my daughters are reading the book, so I wasn't yet entirely sure whether or not they were going to specify any mental illness.  Now that I read this, I agree that's a real problem.

 

Maybe it's strange, but dh and I, with personal and family histories of various mental illnesses, haven't been seeing it as a "revenge suicide".  For me, the entire focus has been on the behaviors "we" don't recognize as damaging, the consideration we don't give others, and the ease of looking away.  Not just when it comes to Hannah's experiences, but those of every single person.  Each of the characters coped with these things differently, some better than others, all in pain.

 

In my mind, Hannah's decision is the impetus for the discussion, not the actual discussion.

 

This!

[teachermom2834]

We have not watched the show or read the book but I am aware of it because it has popped up on social media and when something seems to have gripped the teens I generally try to figure out what it is just to be somewhat in the loop.

 

We had a friend (not close- but longtime very good acquaintance) commit suicide as a 16 yo high school sophomore, football player, popular kid. So, we do have some direct experience with teen suicide with my 16 yo ds pretty impacted by it. I just read today that a high school from our old town has had three suicides since January. Two in the past two weeks.

 

I called my 16 yo ds to the kitchen and asked him if he had heard about any of this. He said he had not but then said "you know there is a really popular tv show right now about teen suicide and everyone is watching it. How can anyone think that is a good idea?"

 

So, far from expert opinion, but my resident teenager definitely thinks such a show glorifies suicide.

 

Such a difficult topic.

[tmstranger]

 

We had a friend (not close- but longtime very good acquaintance) commit suicide as a 16 yo high school sophomore, football player, popular kid. So, we do have some direct experience with teen suicide with my 16 yo ds pretty impacted by it. I just read today that a high school from our old town has had three suicides since January. Two in the past two weeks.

 

I called my 16 yo ds to the kitchen and asked him if he had heard about any of this. He said he had not but then said "you know there is a really popular tv show right now about teen suicide and everyone is watching it. How can anyone think that is a good idea?"

 

 

 

Wow...so sad...

[Carrie12345]

 

One of the lessons of the show is that you never know what is going on in someone's life. There are some teens that are known to be vulnerable so you wouldn't have them watch it. Then there are some teens that you have no idea what they are going through and won't be able to face their triggers as I did. For this reason, I'm still not sure if watching it, not even all the way through, is the healthiest thing for teens. They know what they are going through. They see it and live it every day. I see this show as more of a reminder for parents of what high school is like, especially now that there is social media. 

 

I agree with so much of your interpretation!

 

I think my own teenage daughters' experiences are drastically mitigated by our homeschool lifestyle.  They're not so sheltered as to be untouched by these issues, but they're not as deep "in it" every day.  We have faced challenging situations, and I don't think the book or show is a necessity for addressing the issues they may face themselves, but I'm seeing a real value in the illustration of how our words and actions potentially impact others.

 

I really did feel that they did a decent job (and maybe decent isn't enough in some opinions, but it's more than I've seen in other media) of balancing the fact that one can't blame themselves for someone's suicide, but that we also can't pretend our words and actions don't have a wide range of impact.  Especially the little things some might consider "jokes", or might not even consider at all.  Like today's equivalent of a slam book.  We saw one teen revel in her status and another crushed by it.  They don't negate each other for a neutral outcome.

 

The natural instinct, especially for teens, is to look inward, but my hope with my kids' reading (still unsure on the watching, though they have unrestricted access to Netflix) is to talk more about looking outward and understanding the pitfalls of projecting one's own situation and perspective on others.

 

I'll also throw in that rape and assault isn't discussed enough in our house.  I struggle so much with the topic, and I've leaned too much on the fact that my kids have been highly supervised for so long.  I'm less embarrassed to admit that this is providing a an opening on that front than I am to be pointing out that I haven't tackled it much before.

 

Of course anyone can technically discuss these things without the book or show.  For my specific kids, I think hearing the stories from other teen "voices" adds a relevance Mom and Dad don't possess.

[madteaparty]

I'm not going to watch this, but then I watch very little TV.

I have read about it though and it smacks of exploitation.like oooh, you don't even know what goes on in the lives of teenagers these days, lets peek in and be horrified....and entertained?

[Hilltopmom]

My Dd just started the book & I'm going to start it today.

 

She has struggled with mental health issues in the past, but is really into mental health issues now (possible career field?) & wanted to read it.

 

There will be much discussion.