I am so very.very. tired - vent

[J-rap]

Teresa, I'm so very sorry for your loss.  My dh suffered a massive brain injury following a stroke 6.5 years ago.  It was like a death.  I bawled my head off every day for 4 years, and couldn't answer the phone for 2 years.  So to think that you should be over the worst of it in less than a year is wrong, wrong, wrong.  I'm so sorry if you've been led to believe that.  You are still in the midst of grief and shock.   My dd was getting married soon after it happened too.

 

I'd be happy to share more and hopefully encourage you, if you'd like to PM me.  I'm at a much better place now!

[wintermom]

It's probably the wedding.  Weddings are generally happy occasions, but they are also stressful to plan and execute, plus this one will be bittersweet.    My sister's wedding took place a few months after her DH's father passed, it was difficult for her mother in law.  It's a very jumbled mix of emotions. 

 

Yes, this could definitely be a contributing factor to sleeplessness. There are so many details and things to think about. Even in the most positive circumstances, weddings are tough on parents. It's even more difficult for you in this time of loss.

 

Big hugs to you. In times of grief, I wish my culture was Jewish. Their tradition is one full year of official grief for immediate family members, where the entire family and friends supports them and recognizes their grief. And in the big picture, one year to grieve is still very short. 

Edited April 26, 2017 by wintermom

[Melissa in Australia]

I cried reading your posts.

 

Hugs

 

Hugs

 

Hugs

[Granny_Weatherwax]

:grouphug:

[Teresa in MO]

Thank everyone so much for all the kind words, encouragement, and advice.  I took ZZquill last night and slept for over 7 hours, so feel much better today.  The grief is always there, and I know will be here for a long time.  Most likely forever, I will just be able to handle it better as time moves on.  My dh and I married at 18, almost 19, and were together for over 38 years.  I try to focus on the blessings since his passing, as there has been many.  Funeral expenses were completely covered by donations, including a very large one from the family of one of my son's friends.  I was completely overwhelmed by the generosity of so many people.  Not knowing what my health insurance would be, my dentist told me he would provide cleanings for my family (and there are 6 of us) for free.  It turns out, my insurance will remain the same at least for 3 years.  I have 10 kids, with 5 remaining still at home, 4 once my dd gets married next week.  My two oldest sons moved back to St. Louis so they are around to help.  

 

I appreciate all the advice and am going to start grief counseling after the wedding.  I am also going to make some changes in my sleep schedule to try and get more better sleep habits.  It helps knowing I can get on here and vent when I need to.  It is such a blessing.

 

[bolt.]

That's a great update. Keep on keeping on, ok?

[Liz CA]

I agree with those that have suggested grief counseling. Pain from sudden loss like yours can be so overwhelming.

Don't try to do this alone. There people who can come along side of you and help you through this process.

[BooksandBoys]

Hang in there!

It may be helpful to use the Zzquil every night st least until the wedding is over. I know that, for me, sleep makes everything, even grief, just a bit easier to bear.