bethben Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 My life is very very full. I feel like someday I'm going to have negative health effects from it. Today it was just a kid issue that needed extra attention that threw off the whole day. What that means is that I am running around really stressed to the point I feel light headed and it affects my adopted daughter in a negative way. She needs direction from me face to face otherwise it doesn't register in her head. So today running around taking care of my special needs son so that we could eat lunch so that I could make my eye appointment so that ds#3 could make his online class that involved uploading a power point that never worked caused my daughter to translate, "You can make yourself a peanut butter sandwich or ham sandwich" to "Eat bagels and cereal for lunch." I get frustrated which makes her very angry. Door slamming angry on her part. As she has been getting closer to puberty (she's almost 10), the anger and blow ups and just downright rudeness/ disrespect has been increasing exponentially. She loses friend time. It's getting to the point that I am thinking her friends are wondering what is her problem that she can't play so often. She needs a less distracted parent who doesn't have 3 other children and a special needs brother who last time I counted up required 5-6 hours of one-on-one time. No - my son can't go somewhere. He is 18 and the school district has let him down in such a way that his safety was compromised. As my hormones go more wacky due to my age and everything else, it is not getting better. I missed the local charter school's cut off and loading my oldest in a car every morning to drive and pick up from school is not a fun thought either. I feel very stuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 :grouphug: Different situation, but I feel you. Is there anyone who could help you a couple days a week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TX Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Sometimes you need to stop and just breathe. It will be okay. Your daughter's behavior seems very normal for her age. In my experience the 10-12 years are the most moody and hormonal for girls. Maybe instead of punishing your daughter for her outbursts just send her to her room or somewhere to calm down and then afterward you can calmly discuss why she was angry and what would be a more constructive way to deal with her feelings. Also, you may want to work on just letting some things go...not everything is worth getting frustrated over. If you know she wasn't deliberately defying you does it really matter that she had bagels and cereal for lunch instead of a peanut butter or ham sandwich? You can't really control the amount of stuff you have on your plate right now, but to some degree you can control your stress levels by choosing not to stress over things that aren't worth stressing over. Susan in TX 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 😧. 🙠Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 :grouphug: Could you change the punishment? Maybe the lack of friend time is exacerbating the behavior. Your son can't go somewhere but what about the other kids? Could they take a bus or something to school so you didn't have to drive? I am guessing maybe they would also be assigned to the school you lost faith in, though. I'm sorry times are so difficult right now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Hugs I hear you Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 :grouphug: Could you change the punishment? Maybe the lack of friend time is exacerbating the behavior. Your son can't go somewhere but what about the other kids? Could they take a bus or something to school so you didn't have to drive? I am guessing maybe they would also be assigned to the school you lost faith in, though. I'm sorry times are so difficult right now. I was going to suggest this. My kids needed outside friend time, and I did have one with Asperger's who NEEDED to be with people when he was wiling. So, DH and I made a hard and fast rule......no groundings or going with friends time would be a punishment. And I never thought it was fair to the friend when we had made a commitment and then didn't follow through. But OP, I have been there. Oldest would break pencils, throw books across the room, refuse to do things. It is rough. It was hard for YEARS. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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