Mini-vent: Why does everyone have a fidget toy now?

[Ginevra]

I mean I get the point and, ironically,I just ordered a fidget toy for DS12 per a recommendation here. But I didn't plan to have DS take it to church, co-op and every other place he goes. Now, they are everywhere.

 

I thought it was bad form to give kids toys and objects that will distract the whole class. But now it seems trendy.

[Bluegoat]

I guess I am a curmudgeon, but I kind of feel its betcause we set our expectations are too low for kids.  And yes, I know some kids have unusual circumstances and it's reasonable to make an exception.  I don't think that's what is going on though.

 

That being said I feel like 90% of the adults I see at activities are fooling around on smart phones, so really it makes sense they think kids need to be distracted.

[Pawz4me]

I have one. I'm far from a kid. ;) I'm trying to break a lifelong nail biting habit.

 

I wonder if the popularity of fidget toys has something to do with greater acceptance and understanding of anxiety and other mental health issues.

[maize]

What's the point of a fidget toy if you can't take it places with you? I'd assumed these were to occupy hands and allow people to focus during classes, church, etc. Like doodling. For those of us whose minds just will not settle if we're not doing something.

 

How/when do you intend for your son to use his fidget toy? I'm curious.

 

--signed, a person who does not have fidget toys but thinks they make sense.

Edited April 24, 2017 by maize

[AimeeM]

I can promise you that DS4 and DS7 playing quietly with fidget toys is less distracting to a group than their shrieking over sudden (even low) noises, flapping their hands, or talking to themselves while rocking. Promise. 

 

When they are able to calm themselves, they look like fairly neurotypical little boys, especially if you're in a setting that wouldn't allow you to speak with them. If they are just sitting in the pew behind you, and are occupied with drawing or fidget toys, you'd be none the wiser. I say this to point out that while it may appear that these children have no other "circumstances" that would allow for an "exception" of "high expectations," that isn't necessarily always the case.

[Guest]

I appreciate fidget toys except for the ones that make noise. DS has one that clicks. Drives me nuts.

[Guest]

What's the point of a fidget toy if you can't take it places with you? I'd assumed these were to occupy hands and allow people to focus during classes, church, etc. Like doodling. For those of us whose minds just will not settle if we're not doing something.

 

How/when do you intend for your done to use his fidget toy? I'm curious.

 

--signed, a person who does not have fidget toys but thinks they make sense.

I planned to have him hold it in his free hand when he's reading on my iPad or Kindle, because he flips the protector flap ten ways from Sunday in order to occupy his free hand.

[Anne]

I knit in many of the circumstances that you mention - what is knitting if not Fidgeting???

 

  :lol:

 

Anne

[zoobie]

I think we are expecting people to sit more. And we are less active than before. And we are training our brains to require lots of input with all of our smartphones and etcetera... (guilty there myself).

 

The spinners and bottle flipping are fads that go through. There's always going to be some fad with tweens/teens. Right now it's those. :)

[maize]

I planned to have him hold it in his free hand when he's reading on my iPad or Kindle, because he flips the protector flap ten ways from Sunday in order to occupy his free hand.

If that is his only fidget need then I guess it makes sense to limit it to that...

[Guest]

I can promise you that DS4 and DS7 playing quietly with fidget toys is less distracting to a group than their shrieking over sudden (even low) noises, flapping their hands, or talking to themselves while rocking. Promise.

 

When they are able to calm themselves, they look like fairly neurotypical little boys, especially if you're in a setting that wouldn't allow you to speak with them. If they are just sitting in the pew behind you, and are occupied with drawing or fidget toys, you'd be none the wiser. I say this to point out that while it may appear that these children have no other "circumstances" that would allow for an "exception" of "high expectations," that isn't necessarily always the case.

This is not what seems to be happening now. It's every kid, not just kids who are on the Autism spectrum. It's a little bit like having a "Comfort Animal." It has become, IMO, an excuse for anyone who feels happier with a pet to carry their dog, cat or iguana to church with them.

[Joker]

Dd, 15, needs them to help with her skin picking that is part of her OCD. The picking is bad and the toys would be worthless is she didn't take them everywhere. She does try to keep them mostly silent but I'm sure they do distract some people.

[AimeeM]

This is not what seems to be happening now. It's every kid, not just kids who are on the Autism spectrum. It's a little bit like having a "Comfort Animal." It has become, IMO, an excuse for anyone who feels happier with a pet to carry their dog, cat or iguana to church with them.

I could say that if you're so easily distracted by a small, noiseless toy, you may be adhd yourself :)

 

The fidget toys are marketed to other than ASD kids/adults. Many schools in the area are moving to "fidget seats" -- and it has nothing to do with having too low expectations, and everything to do with (perhaps) finally realizing that our expectations, to this point, have been unrealistic. Many children--if not most--cannot sit still for long periods of time, and while I'm sure that any of them could be trained to do so, there is enough debate suggesting that it wouldn't be the healthiest option.

Edited April 24, 2017 by AimeeM

[maize]

This is not what seems to be happening now. It's every kid, not just kids who are on the Autism spectrum. It's a little bit like having a "Comfort Animal." It has become, IMO, an excuse for anyone who feels happier with a pet to carry their dog, cat or iguana to church with them.

I don't see how you, from the outside, can judge who does or doesn't benefit significantly from a companion animal or a fidget object. Maybe a person has anxiety, or OCD, or ADHD...

 

Maybe you need your own fidget object to distract you from stressing about other people's fidgets :D

[Guest]

I could say that if you're so easily distracted by a small, noiseless toy, you may be adhd yourself :)

 

The fidget toys are marketed to other than ASD kids/adults. Many schools in the area are moving to "fidget seats" -- and it has nothing to do with having too low expectations, and everything to do with (perhaps) finally realizing that our expectations, to this point, have been unrealistic. Many children--if not most--cannot sit still for long periods of time, and while I'm sure that any of them could be trained to do so, there is enough debate suggesting that it wouldn't be the healthiest option.

I'm not the one who is distracted. It's the other kids in the room. Everyone want to mess around with the fidget toys of the kids who brought them.

[Guest]

I don't see how you, from the outside, can judge who does or doesn't benefit significantly from a companion animal or a fidget object. Maybe a person has anxiety, or OCD, or ADHD...

 

Maybe you need your own fidget object to distract you from stressing about other people's fidgets :D

The comfort animal is a separate issue, but how is one person's "comfort" from having the animal more important than the comfort of others around them who may be allergic to or afraid of the animal?

 

I'm saying the fidget toy is turning into a trendy thing, just like those Silly Bands were a decade ago, or the Gigapets when those were hot or whatever else. For several months, or maybe a year, there will constantly be kids with little goofy objects to twiddle and the other kids will all be wanting one (my son does now - has nothing to do with the one I planned to buy for reading) and then it will fizzle out.

[AimeeM]

I'm not the one who is distracted. It's the other kids in the room. Everyone want to mess around with the fidget toys of the kids who brought them.

Then we should raise our expectations for all of the children in the "not everyone gets what another has" category of life. 

Edited April 24, 2017 by AimeeM

[6packofun]

My 22yo dd got one because during slow times at work she fidgets by picking the skin on her fingers/around her nails!  This helps.  But I have heard from more than one public school teacher that they are becoming a nuisance by their sheer numbers in the classroom, with children who from their experience don't seem to NEED one getting one anyway.

[Word Nerd]

They're definitely a hot fad. I'd never even heard of them until a few weeks ago, and now the mentions are everywhere. I heard a local teacher complaining because most of her students have them, not necessarily the ones who actually need them, and they have become a distraction. 

[Guest]

I think we are expecting people to sit more. And we are less active than before. And we are training our brains to require lots of input with all of our smartphones and etcetera... (guilty there myself).

 

The spinners and bottle flipping are fads that go through. There's always going to be some fad with tweens/teens. Right now it's those. :)

It's interesting you say this, because I think the opposite - that we are expecting them to sit less. We don't have an expectation that people (kids and adults alike) can or should be capable of sitting quietly or listening without doing something else.

 

I do think we (society) are training our brains to need constant distraction.

[Guest]

I knit in many of the circumstances that you mention - what is knitting if not Fidgeting???

 

:lol:

 

Anne

I do think there are venues where one should not knit. I know this topic was covered here before, but I'm on the side of thinking there are venues where knitting is somewhat rude.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Why should you care unless you are the teacher of a class or some other situation where you should be monitoring other's behavior?  If you are a teacher, then ask for the policy on it from the people running the school or classes. 

[Guest]

My 22yo dd got one because during slow times at work she fidgets by picking the skin on her fingers/around her nails!  This helps.  But I have heard from more than one public school teacher that they are becoming a nuisance by their sheer numbers in the classroom, with children who from their experience don't seem to NEED one getting one anyway.

  

They're definitely a hot fad. I'd never even heard of them until a few weeks ago, and now the mentions are everywhere. I heard a local teacher complaining because most of her students have them, not necessarily the ones who actually need them, and they have become a distraction.

 

Yes, these two posts. This is what I mean.

[Pawz4me]

I do think that the spinners are fad toys and that most kids who have them are likely neurotypical with no real need to take them everywhere. I think for those who really need a fidget there are plenty of unobtrusive suitable ones available. Or st least ones that don't make obnoxious noise or movement. But maybe I'm biased. The fidgets DS (ASD, GAD, NVLD) and I use are small and silent.

[AimeeM]

They're definitely a hot fad. I'd never even heard of them until a few weeks ago, and now the mentions are everywhere. I heard a local teacher complaining because most of her students have them, not necessarily the ones who actually need them, and they have become a distraction. 

Small hand-held fidget toys for "everyone" may be a new idea -- but they've been around for a long, long time for children who have conditions that make them preferable.

Long before fidget toys were a thing for most kids, my oldest (DD15) was manipulating putty or something similar in her hands to "fidget" while sitting for periods of time.

And schools (again, at least in my area) have been bringing in "fidget seating" for their classrooms for several years now.

[emmaluv+2more]

I think this likely started as a broadening understanding, acceptance of, and accommodations to the needs of certain kids. It kind of expanded as more and more parents saw it as a way of "explaining" or justifying some poor behaviors in their own children. Or even, perhaps, as a kind of babysitter or bad behavior prevention. Or as an excuse. Then the trend set in and there you have it.

 

I'm not at all saying this is always the case. I just think that explains how it has gotten out of hand. And fidget toys aren't the first time this has happened.

 

I'm not at all against fidget toys. I have used them in seasons for two of my four children way before they had a name :).

[Jean in Newcastle]

More kids are being identified with issues that can be helped in some small degree with a fidget. 

[Guest]

Why should you care unless you are the teacher of a class or some other situation where you should be monitoring other's behavior? If you are a teacher, then ask for the policy on it from the people running the school or classes.

I care because DS wants one, too. "Oh, Tyler brought one tat looks like this. It's so cool! I want one like that!" Of course, kids do this; they latch onto some faddish thing and ask for it. And when it's a cheap little doo-dad, more parents are likely to capitulate; might as well, it's only $5.

[marbel]

Well, we got one for our fidgety kid because he picks his cuticles, picks his zits, and moves around in odd ways in church. At the computer, he picks at the padding on the arm of the chair.   His toy is small enough (it's a cube) that he could hold it in the palm of his hand and no one would be the wiser - if it was also silent.

 

Unfortunately, it is not silent so he can't take it to church.  But it seems to be slowing the destruction of the arm of the chair. 

 

 

[Guest]

I think this likely started as a broadening understanding, acceptance of, and accommodations to the needs of certain kids. It kind of expanded as more and more parents saw it as a way of "explaining" or justifying some poor behaviors in their own children. Or even, perhaps, as a kind of babysitter or bad behavior prevention. Or as an excuse. Then the trend set in and there you have it.

 

I'm not at all saying this is always the case. I just think that explains how it has gotten out of hand. And fidget toys aren't the first time this has happened.

 

I'm not at all against fidget toys. I have used them in seasons for two of my four children way before they had a name :).

Yes, this.

[Amy in NH]

fad

[Guest]

More kids are being identified with issues that can be helped in some small degree with a fidget.

So when the trend is over and the only kids left playing with a fidget are the non-NT kids who used them before they were "cool," using them will be more allienating for the kids who need them because they will be passé. So then non-NT kids will fit in less well than previously because they aren't keeping up with what's "in."

[Carrie12345]

I haven't seen them IRL yet.  I'm mostly around active teenagers and younger kids who aren't being asked to sit quietly, so maybe that's why?

 

I do have AD(no-H)D, and no real interest/need in using one.

[madteaparty]

I don't know what a fidget toy is, aside from what the name implies, but in some parts of the world only old men are tolerated such things...😂

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misbaha

[Violet Crown]

Wee Girl uses them as an alternative to picking at her skin, or picking nails down to the quick. In church she fiddles with her rosary, which at least comes across as pious rather than anxious.

 

I think they're a splendid alternative to the old method of smacking schoolkids' hands to keep them still, and the kids graduating to cigarettes or chewing tobacco in high school, which is the method I recall from my Texas childhood. But not everyone finds fiddle-things tolerable, which I understand and is one of the many reasons we homeschool her.

[Guest]

I don't know what a fidget toy is, aside from what the name implies, but in some parts of the world only old men are tolerated such things...😂

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misbaha

Seems like the perfect set-up for OCD counters. :D

[SKL]

Yeah, I thought that was what fingers and thumbs and keys were for.  :P

[Word Nerd]

I wonder if the popularity of fidget toys has something to do with greater acceptance and understanding of anxiety and other mental health issues.

 

I suppose that's possible, but since a local convenience store sells them (yes, really) and they sell out almost as soon as they get a new shipment, I doubt acceptance of anxiety has much to do with it.

[Farrar]

It's obviously a bit of a fad. But that doesn't mean that people aren't helped by them. I doodle instead of fidgeting. And fads have always been fidgets to some extent. How many cootie catchers and paper footballs were taken away in class when we were kids because kids were fidgeting with them? And when I was a teacher, I took away so many rubber bands and so forth. Capitalism has found the fidget market. I think that's the number one difference.

 

Teachers need to figure out how to balance it. Ds was in a sort of therapy appointment and he dropped that #%*@ spinner twice so I held out my hand and took it away. And he was like, yeah, that's justified. He dropped it once in co-op this morning during the actual instruction and I gave him a look and it went away until the chaotic working part. I think if you're seeing an issue with a teacher not managing a group well, that if you went back in time a few decades, she'd likely be struggling with keeping whatever the fad was or the note passing or whatever from being a distraction then too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I haven't noticed this.  I think adults need fidget toys given they can't seem to function without playing on their phones...always. 

 

 

[Guest]

I'm just curious, for the majority kids, if they actually help them concentrate and retain more information, or if they're so busy playing with their toy that  they actually retain less. I could easily see that being the case with some kids. I have no idea- merely a question. I also wonder what the typical board room would look like if all of the execs had fidget toys......have to wonder how it translates to the real world. 

[maize]

I'm just curious, for the majority kids, if they actually help them concentrate and retain more information, or if they're so busy playing with their toy that they actually retain less. I could easily see that being the case with some kids. I have no idea- merely a question. I also wonder what the typical board room would look like if all of the execs had fidget toys......have to wonder how it translates to the real world.

Doodling is common in board rooms; there are studies indicating that people who are inclined to doodle do focus better while doing it than not.

 

I imagine fidgets are similar. (autocorrect keeps changing that word to fishers...)

 

Doodling may be more adult acceptable though.

Edited April 24, 2017 by maize

[maize]

Benefits of doodling:

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7572182

[maize]

Benefits of fidgeting:

https://www.advisory.com/daily-briefing/2015/03/06/your-desk-toys-are-making-you-smarter

[Arcadia]

I also wonder what the typical board room would look like if all of the execs had fidget toys......have to wonder how it translates to the real world.

Pen spinning/twirling during board meetings. A pen can be used as a fidget instrument after all.

[Guest]

Pen spinning/twirling during board meetings. A pen can be used as a fidget instrument after all.

 

But a pen isn't specifically a fidget toy. That's why I said toy, not pen. I can get doodling. But I can't see someone presenting to the board with them all flipping fidget toys or hand squeezers or something. It would be rude and inappropriate. I think at that point, honestly, even pen flipping could be. I get that sometimes kids need these things- but personally there is a time and a place. I think it could be an impediment to kids at a certain level, so on that I'm in total agreement with Quill. 

 

Imagine undergoing a review at work with a fidget toy in your hand.........but this seems a topic people are really defensive about (ETA: Not you Arcadia, but some of the other posters), which is also interesting. I guess it boils down to perception. I definitely fall under "there's a time and place for everything." 

Edited April 24, 2017 by texasmom33

[mom2bee]

I don't know what a fidget toy is, aside from what the name implies, but in some parts of the world only old men are tolerated such things...😂

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misbaha

In no Muslim country that I've ever been in are those beads only (or even primarily) for old men.

 

Those beads are a counting tool/instrument that many people use while praising God or praying. Children, as well as adults of both genders and every age may have them.

 

This is cultural and generational, and not religious, but some people even find fidgeting with or playing with those beads (because they may be inscribed with the holy names of God, or just because they're used for something special/holy) to be unspeakably disrespectful.

[SparklyUnicorn]

 

This is cultural and generational, and not religious, but some people even find fidgeting with or playing with those beads (because they may be inscribed with the holy names of God, or just because they're used for something special/holy) to be unspeakably disrespectful.

 

And some people find that really bizarre.

[madteaparty]

In no Muslim country that I've ever been in are those beads only (or even primarily) for old men.

 

Those beads are a counting tool/instrument that many people use while praising God or praying. Children, as well as adults of both genders and every age may have them.

 

This is cultural and generational, and not religious, but some people even find fidgeting with or playing with those beads (because they may be inscribed with the holy names of God, or just because they're used for something special/holy) to be unspeakably disrespectful.

I'm only familiar with them as a cultural and very much generational tools, and not at all religious. It happens. Edited April 24, 2017 by madteaparty

[mom2bee]

As a person who spends a lot of time with children and young adults in educational settings, I find that the recent increase in "fidget toys" is disruptive, and I have several students who are just playing and pay less attention when they have those things in their hands.

 

I will say that I feel that there is a time and place for those who possess them "just 'cause" and they really do get on my nerves. But I've also got kids who are positively affected by using a fidget toy, so yeah...time and place.