Always surprised by poor parenting choices

[SKL]

One of my kids has a much lower tolerance for violence than the other.  It isn't really fair for me to make them both wait until they are both ready for everything.  My more sensitive kid will go into another room where she can look at the screen from an angle.  Somehow she feels safer that way, LOL.  Or she always has the option to go do something else.   ...  Oddly, my sensitive kid has no problem reading books about historic tragedies.  I should probably ask her why that's different for her.

[heartlikealion]

I assumed deadpooling was a reference to parents that take kids to movies like Deadpool despite actors saying, "don't' take your kid to see this film." Wow this thread took a turn I was not expecting lol

[Guest]

:lol: We could call it *the deadpooling* (cue posters who say, OMG! My MIL calls it the deadpooling! It's nothing new!)

 

i feel like a cross between the girl who knew e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. in school* and some kind of pervert who corrupts WTM boardies**...

 

* I was not that girl

** I'm not that pervert

 

If you don't want to know, turn back now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those who are wondering...the act (perhaps henceforth referred to as "the deadpooling") in The Deadpool involves a woman with a attachable (and detachable!) male "member" who then uses aforesaid member on her male partner in a penetrative manner.

You and I would dominate a WTM Cards Against Humanity tournament!!

[Guest]

This does remind me that I just got an alert from the National Association of School Counsellors Psychologists about vulnerable teens and tweens watching and being attracted to the suicide in 13 Reasons Why. The Netflix series is TV-MA. Maybe, juuuuuuust maybe, the rating was there for a reason? "13 Reasons Why" Netflix Series: Considerations for Educators

Oh man. They did such an amazing job with that series. But it's pretty much not appropriate for anyone under sixteen or who might be triggered. I thought they warned pretty extensively on that before pertinent episodes, thankfully.

 

I'm not sure the book is as triggery, something in particular about the visual medium makes it more intense.

[Guest]

Yes. There's a big difference between Agents of Shield and Jessica Jones.

They're both awesome (and AoS has gotten much darker) but I admit the unrelenting depression and crazy in JJ was definitely not something you'd have seen on a Disney owned channel like ABC. Netflix really pushes it hard on content sometimes - we tried to watch another sci fi production from Netflix (Sense8) and couldn't make it past the pilot because of all the inappropriately graphic language and sexual content that was gratuitously overdone. Very disappointing because of the great writers and creative staff, but they definitely set out to produce something that *couldn't* have made it to cable.

[Guest]

On the subject of kids in movie theaters for inappropriate movies, my husband likes to recount his experience with this during Spawn. There was a grade schooler in the row in front of him who was gibbering during the opening credits, and completely dead silent by the end of the first scene in hell. His parent seems to have figured comic book = kid appropriate content, for some reason.

 

If I recall correctly the kid was crying halfway through. Parent fail. My own parents had a similar fail in taking me to see Event Horizon when I was little, thinking it was just a space sci fi instead of a horror. I didn't freak out but it was definitely garbage none of us needed to consume.

Edited April 24, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[goldberry]

I absolutely love the story line of The Matrix (the first one).  But I recorded it from TV (so it wouldn't have the language) and I fast forward through most of the fight scenes because the violence is a major turnoff for me.  I get so frustrated at how much violence and language can ruin a good story.  

 

On the other hand, the movie The Ghost and the Darkness was rated R strictly because of the violence of the lion attacks.  I found that movie perfectly acceptable.  They were lions. They were not crazed humans locking people in their basement to chop off their body parts one at a time. One of these is actually a part of nature.

Edited April 24, 2017 by goldberry

[Mergath]

I wouldn't take my 8yo dd to see something like that (though she has seen a decent amount of PG-13 movies because Marvel) but I'm not going to get my panties in a twist over it or judge their parenting based on one decision. I've certainly made my share of parenting choices I later regretted. It must be nice to be such a perfect parent that you feel justified in castigating another parent on the internet over a movie. :001_rolleyes:

[goldberry]

. My own parents had a similar fail in taking me to see Event Horizon when I was little, thinking it was just a space sci fi instead of a horror. I didn't freak out but it was definitely garbage none of us needed to consume.

 

OMG that movie was horrifying.  Ugh.

[Guest]

OMG that movie was horrifying. Ugh.

Yeah, I think I was in fifth grade? It was awful.

[Retired]

I personally think this is a culture of death of violence when movies lke this are made and we think they are ok for enteraintment.  We as a sociiety are the issue.  WHy do adult crave this type of eneteraintment much less exposing children?

 

I work ER and see way to much real violence I would never choose it for entertainment.

 

I'm being judgmental to everyone :ohmy:   :closedeyes:  :laugh: 

 

We each parent different .  I had one kid that matured faster and could play teen video games early.  My other son was not emotionally or psychology ready so he was older before he played the videogames.   

 

I had parents judge me because I allowed my sons to play violent video games. 

 

SO I do get being appalled that someone would have young kid at a violent movie.   This is not something I would of done.   I screened movies and played the video games before I would allow my kids. 

 

I had my standard and they were not as high as some but also not as low as other.  We all have different  standards depending on our own family of origin, culture and religion

 

My sons are  both adults with very good  jobs.  They have never committed a violent act or been in jail   My parenting was successful . :thumbup:  even if they played teen and mature video games ;) 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Netflix has a history of putting a gratuitous sex scene in the first episode of most their shows. We didn't get very far into first episode of Sense 8 either. We are glad we made it through The O.A. I'm beginning to think it's not just because they can, but to show "this is for adults" because the MA rating doesn't phase people anymore.

 

Event Horizon still makes me shudder.

I don't even mind sex. Or lesbians. I think the wall humping was the final nail in the coffin. I'll give the OA a try since it did look interesting from the preview blurb - I usually don't judge until episode two or three but that was too too much.

[unsinkable]

Yeah, I think I was in fifth grade? It was awful.

 

was Event Horizon like a wannabe Alien?

 

I think I've seen it but even after I IMDBed it, I'm not recalling much beyond "wannabe Alien"

[Scarlett]

I absolutely love the story line of The Matrix (the first one). But I recorded it from TV (so it wouldn't have the language) and I fast forward through most of the fight scenes because the violence is a major turnoff for me. I get so frustrated at how much violence and language can ruin a good story.

 

On the other hand, the movie The Ghost and the Darkness was rated R strictly because of the violence of the lion attacks. I found that movie perfectly acceptable. They were lions. They were not crazed humans locking people in their basement to chop off their body parts one at a time. One of these is actually a part of nature.

Ha! That is one of the few R rated movies I have ever watched. It was awesome.

 

The rating system is so wacked.

[unsinkable]

You and I would dominate a WTM Cards Against Humanity tournament!!

 

I had to look up a CAH card definition.

 

The adult cousins were playing it and it is really odd and awkward to hear my once-little bunnies LOLing over some things. 

[unsinkable]

I don't even mind sex. Or lesbians. I think the wall humping was the final nail in the coffin. I'll give the OA a try since it did look interesting from the preview blurb - I usually don't judge until episode two or three but that was too too much.

 

No doubt. See signature.

 

;D

[hjffkj]

Netflix has a history of putting a gratuitous sex scene in the first episode of most their shows. We didn't get very far into first episode of Sense 8 either. We are glad we made it through The O.A. I'm beginning to think it's not just because they can, but to show "this is for adults" because the MA rating doesn't phase people anymore.

 

Event Horizon still makes me shudder.

Sense 8 continues with the ridiculous sex scenes. I really like the concept behind the show , the plotline, and even get behind why the sex scene is a way to communicate to the audience just how deeply their bodies are intertwined. But the shear amount of scenes and how graphic they continue to be is entirely unnecessary.

 

I still watch it though but I generally just start checking emails during those scenes.

[luuknam]

I personally think this is a culture of death of violence when movies lke this are made and we think they are ok for enteraintment.  We as a sociiety are the issue.  WHy do adult crave this type of eneteraintment much less exposing children?

 

 

I dunno - from what I've heard, people in the middle ages used to take their kids to hangings and other public executions for entertainment. And the kids like Roman Empire: Reign of Blood, in which the fun form of entertainment is gladiator matches. IOW, this is nothing new.

[Dmmetler]

I would kill for this.

Babysitters in my rural town are difficult to come by. I don't know if it's because it's a small town or because the usual babysitting crowd(teenagers) are so busy with extracurriculars and jobs.

 

Back to your regularly scheduled topic.

I would have loved this when DD was younger. DH and I used to go on dates to a casino, not because either of us gamble, but because they had such a system, and it was set up not feel babyish for the 'tween set (video game systems, board games legos, and a big craft room, separate from the ball pits and cartoons for the little ones). And there were always other kids there to do things like play Catan or build lego worlds with.

[Bluegoat]

I was ready to get my judgy pants on until I recalled that ds watched (and loved) Predator at age 9...

our lines are along similar lines as wendyandmilo.

 

I have this experience regularly - I am thinking a movie is too old for my kids, and then I remember what I watched at that age and what I thought of it.

 

I haven't necessarily changed my mind about what to allow, but it's given me food for thought. 

[Butter]

It doesn't phase me when someone has a kid at a movie that may or may not be appropriate for them.  What irritates me is when the kid is not handling the movie well and the parents does nothing.  One of the times I saw Hunger Games, there was a kid about 4 or 5 in the seat next to me.  His mom was on the other side of him.  He kept whimpering and was very scared.  He kept trying to get her attention and she kept saying, "Hush.  Mommy's watching the movie."  He eventually ended up on the floor curled in a ball.  She just left him there so she could watch the movie in peace.  I felt so bad for that kid.

[hjffkj]

It doesn't phase me when someone has a kid at a movie that may or may not be appropriate for them. What irritates me is when the kid is not handling the movie well and the parents does nothing. One of the times I saw Hunger Games, there was a kid about 4 or 5 in the seat next to me. His mom was on the other side of him. He kept whimpering and was very scared. He kept trying to get her attention and she kept saying, "Hush. Mommy's watching the movie." He eventually ended up on the floor curled in a ball. She just left him there so she could watch the movie in peace. I felt so bad for that kid.

Poor kid.

[Leav97]

Yeah, I think I was in fifth grade? It was awful.

 

It was 1997.  I hate horror and accidently saw it thinking it was SciFi.  Yeah, I can't imagine a 5th grader in that movie.

[Audrey]

DH and I went to see John Wick 2 this afternoon. It is rated R. Over 100 people are shot. A woman slits her wrists. Lots of language. This is not a movie for kids yet, there was a boy and an older man watching. The boy couldn't have been more than 8. Every time I see a grown-up movie, someone has a kid in the theater. I don't get it.

 

 

Oh yeah.  That stuff happens.

 

I will never forget the time I went to see Silence of the Lambs and suddenly the voice of a tiny child called out, "Mommy, what is that man doing in girl clothes?"  Every. Single. Head. in the theatre turned in disbelief to see who had brought a small child to see this movie.  :scared: 

[Word Nerd]

Netflix has a history of putting a gratuitous sex scene in the first episode of most their shows. We didn't get very far into first episode of Sense 8 either. We are glad we made it through The O.A. I'm beginning to think it's not just because they can, but to show "this is for adults" because the MA rating doesn't phase people anymore. 

 

Event Horizon still makes me shudder. 

 

There were a couple of gratuitous sex scenes in The OA too, one of which was a rather graphic one involving two teens.

[Guest]

My main issue with tea in movies is that it gives people bizarre ideas about what real tea is actually like. Just insert a tea bag and she'll be done in under 10 seconds. Riiiiight. Clearly written by men.

[Guest]

No doubt. See signature.

 

;D

*snort*

 

We have concluded it is either sex or water, but more testing may be needed.

Edited April 24, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[Guest]

It was 1997. I hate horror and accidently saw it thinking it was SciFi. Yeah, I can't imagine a 5th grader in that movie.

Yup. That's what my mom was thinking too. Whoops.

[Guest]

Oh yeah. That stuff happens.

 

I will never forget the time I went to see Silence of the Lambs and suddenly the voice of a tiny child called out, "Mommy, what is that man doing in girl clothes?" Every. Single. Head. in the theatre turned in disbelief to see who had brought a small child to see this movie. :scared:

Oh my goodness! If they have to ask they're too little. That's my basic litmus - if I'm explaining multiple non-obscure plot points we ain't there yet on maturity.

[OneStepAtATime]

1.  Event Horizon scared the carp out of me and I was an adult.  Sooooo glad my parents didn't take me to the movies to see that.  (...and no it is not really like Alien.  It is really way weird and creepy and psychological and DH loves to tease me about watching that movie.  I did.not.like.it.Sam.I.am.)

 

2.  Parents need to make the best call for their own families and hopefully know their kids best.  If you are certain your child can handle something well, o.k.  But please don't just show them any old thing because you are too lazy to actually parent.  And if a child is not handling a movie well, don't torture them and the other people in the theater by making them sit through the darn thing.  DH and I went to see AI: Artificial Intelligence.  There were some scenes in that movie that could be triggering.  There were kids in the theater (probably because it was Spielberg and rated PG-13 instead of R) but it had stated clearly that this was not a child's film.  Anyway, two kids in that theater in particular were not handling it well.  One was next to us and kept trying to crawl into Mom's lap and was shaking all over and quietly whimpering.  They looked terrified.  The other was behind us and started crying and sobbing and kept wailing "They are KILLING HER!" when the nanny's face is melted off.   They were curled up in a ball, virtually non-responsive by the end of the movie. The parents did NOTHING.  Not one bloody thing.  And there were other kids near us that looked shocked and really upset when the mom abandons the AI child.  It was not a good movie for kids who are easily disturbed by those types of images to see.  The parents might not have known ahead of time but they darn well should have removed the children from the theater when they quite obviously started reacting.  I felt so sorry for those little kids. 

[Garga]

I dunno - from what I've heard, people in the middle ages used to take their kids to hangings and other public executions for entertainment. And the kids like Roman Empire: Reign of Blood, in which the fun form of entertainment is gladiator matches. IOW, this is nothing new.

 

 

But I'm pretty sure that people took their kids to those things to deliberately desensitize them to violence. I'd read somewhere that the Roman leaders wanted the people watching the gladiator matches, so that they would have a tough stock of soldiers to pick from when they were needed to perform atrocities in war. They wanted their populace to have little mercy.

[Audrey]

Oh my goodness! If they have to ask they're too little. That's my basic litmus - if I'm explaining multiple non-obscure plot points we ain't there yet on maturity.

 

The child couldn't have been more than 3.  We're talking toddler-sized. 

[hjffkj]

I find it funny how many people found event horizon scary. I saw it maybe 2 years ago for the first time because a friend mentioned it being very different from what they thought it was going to be. They didn't tell me they were horrified by it until after I watched it. I didn't think it'd be a horror movie but wasn't scared when it was.

[Retired]

I dunno - from what I've heard, people in the middle ages used to take their kids to hangings and other public executions for entertainment. And the kids like Roman Empire: Reign of Blood, in which the fun form of entertainment is gladiator matches. IOW, this is nothing new.

 

This is true so I guess for me its coming from an American that had less violence and seeing how dark/change has happen in the past 30 years since I graduated highschool.  

 

My sons/dh watch violent movies /video games they just aren't my thing.  I couldn't figure out how so many Christian thought it was a good thing to watch passion of the Christ not my kind of entertainment

[Tammi K]

We had a four year old behind us at Deadpool. He provided us with interesting commentary, and this at a film that I told my 16yo I wasn't taking him to. Mostly because it wasn't appropriate to watch with his mother.

 

 

:lol: I saw it with my 15 year old son.    BUT, before you all think I am a horrible mother, I'll say, "It was an accident."   Sort of....

 

My daughter (19) wanted to see it and asked her brother (15) to go with her.  They knew it was another of the 'super hero' movies, so I had no problem with it.   They got to the theatre and were told ds needed an adult over 21 to be with him.  They already had tickets ( kiosk)  and asked if I would come to the theatre to be the legal adult.  They even offered to buy my ticket and take me to Pita Pit afterward. So, what the heck, how do you say no to that?    I had no idea what I was getting into. But, I actually thought it was really funny and believe I embarrassed both of my kids at laughing at all the naughty places. 

 

It has become a bot of a family joke.   DS saw Deadpool .... with MOM!!!  :coolgleamA:

[SKL]

Yeah, my mom bought me the book "The Color Purple" when I was a teen (32 years ago).  I'm pretty sure she didn't really know what it was about.

[LMD]

you guys are killing me *the deadpooling* :rofl:

 

Lines are a funny thing. I have my own, dh has his. I wasn't going to allow Hunger Games for my 11 year old (I do not like the kids being forced to kill other kids storyline) but my MIL showed her and they bonded and dd loved it, went on to power through the books and movies.

We all agree that deadpool is waaaaaaay across the line!

[Guest]

I think I need to watch Event Horizon.  And Deadpool.

[LMD]

we love, own and rewatch both of those. They are great. Deadpool is hilarious but the gratuitous violence/sex is his character. Anyone who knows anything about his comic book character knows this. He is the anti-hero who puns his way through every scene.

Soooo not for children!

[Guest]

Yeah, my mom bought me the book "The Color Purple" when I was a teen (32 years ago). I'm pretty sure she didn't really know what it was about.

I read and watched those as a teen for AP English. They were great but definitely heavy subject matters.

[heartlikealion]

Sometimes people will see sequels without seeing the original. I wonder if in the case of the kid in the John Wick 2 showing the parent had never seen the first film.

[Callie]

Someone mentioned On Golden Pond earlier.  My mother took my three brothers and I to see it the week my father packed all of his belongings into paper bags and left us for his secretary.  I was the oldest at about 13 yo.  Talk about clueless bad parenting.

[Guest]

Someone mentioned On Golden Pond earlier. My mother took my three brothers and I to see it the week my father packed all of his belongings into paper bags and left us for his secretary. I was the oldest at about 13 yo. Talk about clueless bad parenting.

:grouphug:

[Word Nerd]

I remember peeking at The Exorcist while hiding under my grandparents' kitchen table because my cousin convinced me to sneak with him where we could see the TV the adults were watching even though we had been told by both our mothers that we couldn't watch it. I lasted only a few minutes before deciding it was way too scary for me and wished I had just listened to her.

Edited April 25, 2017 by Word Nerd

[Retired]

Someone mentioned On Golden Pond earlier.  My mother took my three brothers and I to see it the week my father packed all of his belongings into paper bags and left us for his secretary.  I was the oldest at about 13 yo.  Talk about clueless bad parenting.

 

 

  :grouphug: 

[OneStepAtATime]

I find it funny how many people found event horizon scary. I saw it maybe 2 years ago for the first time because a friend mentioned it being very different from what they thought it was going to be. They didn't tell me they were horrified by it until after I watched it. I didn't think it'd be a horror movie but wasn't scared when it was.

I honestly have no idea why that movie freaks me out.  I have seen many times many scary movies, gory movies, etc.  I just don't like that one.  It wigs me out.  :)

[OneStepAtATime]

I guess that my biggest concern with letting a child watch too soon something like what the OP described (And it is hard to know when that is, obviously).  Maybe they will be fine.  But maybe they won't.  Hard to unsee something once you've viewed it.  

 

I remember being little, maybe 6, and coming into the living room.  I don't recall if the TV was already on or I turned it on but there was a movie playing.  My mom had gone to the kitchen.  Dad was maybe at work.  Definitely not in the room.  The movie had a little blond girl that looked like Eve Plumb (Jan) from the Brady bunch and a blond woman who looked a lot like the Brady Bunch mom (or at least she did to me).  The mom gets stabbed and is bleeding out.  Little girl is the witness.  I don't remember anything else.  I just remember being horrified that Jan's mom, Mrs. Brady, was killed and Jan (little Jan; this child was maybe my age) was alone with the body.  I did not scream.  I did not tell my mother.  I rapidly left the room.  I had nightmares but said nothing to my parents.  I was afraid they would be mad at me for watching TV without permission.  They had no idea how upset I was until I discussed it with Mom as an adult.  Did it scar me for life and prevent me from functioning?  No.  But I sure wished I could have unwatched those images.

 

Still, I think there is a LOT of leeway in this department.  Depends on the kid and how they react to specific subject matter.  Hopefully the parents are in tune with their kid...