I'm going to reply here again since I got so many responses lol.
I am trying to take more time for me. I have started taking a medication to deal with depression and some other things. I decided to follow up on one job that I thought I missed out on. Last time I checked they just knew that interviews were being conducted. I felt that I must not be a candidate since I never got an email alert. But today I called to check and they asked me on the spot to come in Monday to speak with them. So I'd say that's an interview! The other pending job they never replied to me when I asked if it was filled.
I did spoil myself a bit when I went Easter shopping. I left the kids at home with dh and spent my time hunting for church clothes but also let myself buy a few other items I wanted. Then today while out with the family I told dh about this store that had something in the window I wanted to check out. It was mostly curiosity, I didn't think it would be in the budget. It was actually on sale but didn't fit. While I was there the sales lady talked me into trying on some other outfits. I knew now wasn't the best time to blow money on a dress because dh is losing some money in his job soon and I don't know if I'll even land a job, but he told me it looked nice and encouraged me to get it. I did. I do have a part time job for a few shifts coming up but those shifts are few and far between at the campus bookstore making min. wage (they only need extra help when students are buying or reselling textbooks). If nothing else it will probably cover my dress Lol. I also got a haircut last week
I don't feel that down about myself per se, but just frustrated at my flexibility with so much of my life revolving around dh's work schedule. Nothing is close to where I live so it's hard to join anything. Before dd was born I tried Bible study but dh worked those nights so I had to drag ds and it was awful. I quit going. For a while I would drive to another church to work with foreign students learning English. I enjoyed it, but it was too much gas money and sometimes I was too exhausted to drive. It's 30 min. from here. The other night I left the family at home to see my Natural Family Planning teacher and I used that as an excuse to go out on my own. I bought that cart at Target that I posted in another thread lol. I had to talk dh out of coming along with the kids because it would rush my evening with their bedtimes. We only have one car and live in a rural area so I have to think twice about wear and tear and gas but if I get a job I think we'll get the second vehicle then.