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My father passed away last night. It is finally over.


FaithManor
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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Will be praying that everyone upset about the decision regarding your son calm down or at least keep their mouths shut.  And for you to have the strength and perfect words to get them to shut up about it if they don't.

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I know this has been a difficult situation for you and it's not quite over. I'll pray for you especially as 

this brings you some resolution even while others have difficulty wrapping their heads around the situation.

I think the decision you and your son made shows great wisdom rather than a knee-jerk reaction. I don't mean to 

sound harsh, but a funeral is for the living and is one instance in a lifetime. Your son's exams can affect much more than 

just this one moment in time. I'm proud of you!  :hurray:

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Whew. I am glad your rollercoaster has paused. Your relatives will soon find something else to focus on besides your college lad. Its their way of grieving. I hope your mom can heal physically quickly.

Peace.

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Ah, faith. So many thoughts. This day needed to come for you, and while the funeral will be a challenge, it marks the end of a hard long season.

 

You and your college age son are absolutely making the right decision about him sitting his exams. He's the future. Let it be bright.

 

Don't discount the many mixed feelings you will experience as you bury your father. And don't feel guilty about a single one of them. Just feel them, and let them pass.

 

I will pray for the next week's events and for your family in the months ahead as you work through arrangements for your mother.

 

(((Many hugs)))

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I think the verse "blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted" applies just as truthfully when the mourning is over not so much the death of a loved one as over broken hearts and broken lives and broken relationships.

Lovely and true. Thank you for saying this, maize. Your words bring comfort to more than just Faith.

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I hope the funeral and stressful time passes quickly for you. 

 

They hold no control over you and your son. You're making the right decisions. Stay strong and let them rant without even listening. Because they hold no control over you. :grouphug:

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This has been such a long journey for your family, I'm glad to hear that it is finally over.  I'm glad that you were able to be there at the end, so that you will never question that in the future.  I hope that you find closure and are able to move forward with some peace.  You will be in my thoughts through the coming weeks.   :grouphug:

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   I am happy that your father's passing was peaceful and I will be praying for you, your son, and your family to have peace.  This long hard road is almost over and I fully support you and your son's decision about his tests.  My father who I loved so much and was a very good father passed away while I was camping with the Girl Scouts in the winter (I was 13).  I came home and promptly got strep throat.  I was still contagious and had a high fever when my father's service was held at the funeral home.  I couldn't go because there were going to be so many elderly people there and I didn't want to cause anyone else to get sick (and potentially die).  Fortunately, my family thought I was making the right decision and I don't think anyone gave my mother grief. And neither I nor my children could go to my MIL's funeral because we not only couldn't afford tickets for more than my husband but I was 7.5 months pregnant and couldn't travel like that and the house dh would stay at would be unsafe for my kids even if he could afford to take them.  As others said, funerals are for the living.  

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  again and thoughts and prayers for you.

 

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Faith, I'm not around much anymore but have "known" you since you all bought and started that little remodel/rebuild project.  :-)  Many years!

 

I wish you the blessing of comfort and peace, and the grace to continue to be the amazing daughter and sister you've been, and the stalwart, protective mama you are, doing what is best for your kids. 

 

Several other posters have echoed what is in my heart regarding your son:  his future is more important than the feelings of relatives.  If he is unaware of the drama, that would be a good thing!  Afterward, he can call or write a heartfelt note that would convey his regard for his grandfather and grandmother, even if he has to dig deep to find some way to honor them. 

 

Prayers going up for you and yours!

 

 

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Very sorry for your loss.

Your son is doing the rightest thing.  There is no decision more difficult that the conflict of two right things.  It's worse than the lesser of two evils. 

Sometimes people displace their grief into anger at times like this, and that can cause rifts that last a very long time.  I hope that instead your family will be able to extend grace.

You all are in my prayers.  Hugs to you!

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Faith, I know this has been a hard road. I am not sure I can even imagine all the conflicting feelings at his passing.

 

Best wishes to your ds on his exam!

Setting boundaries with family is bound to ruffle some feathers. I would have come to the same decision. I hope your mother can finally embark on a path of healing as well.

 

:grouphug:

Edited by Liz CA
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Faith, I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you're out of that difficult stasis. Sending good thoughts from far away.

 

You already know this, but you're doing the right thing with your son and his exams. Ignore the people who think things have to be a certain way and who seek to control the actions of others to conform to their subjective standards. 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

 

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