Jump to content


What's with the ads?

Photo
* * * * * 1 votes

DH going through breakdown. Support only, please.


443 replies to this topic

What's with the ads?

#401 Jaybee

Jaybee

    Hive Mind Worker Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 806 posts

Posted Yesterday, 10:18 PM

I hope your time with the lawyer was helpful, and gave you some clear insights in how to handle things. Continuing to pray for you and your family.


  • Patty Joanna likes this

#402 BlessedMom

BlessedMom

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2782 posts

Posted Yesterday, 10:37 PM

Praying for you and your family tonight!
  • Patty Joanna likes this

#403 Isabella

Isabella

    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 987 posts

Posted Today, 07:48 AM

Thinking of you in this awful situation. Especially when you should be blissfully enjoying your baby without this stress. I can't imagine how you are coping. My daughter has a baby about the age of yours and...well.. I just can't imagine! You are amazing. I really hope everything will work out as you hope sooner rather than later. Many hugs to you. Please look after yourself too. Xx

Eta correcting phone typos.

Edited by Isabella, Today, 07:50 AM.

  • gardenmom5 and maize like this

#404 Moonhawk

Moonhawk

    In need of sleep, or chocolate.

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 236 posts

Posted Today, 04:39 PM

Well, he just left to go sign a lease on an apartment. So, that's that.


  • Arctic Mama likes this

#405 snowbeltmom

snowbeltmom

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 3177 posts

Posted Today, 04:41 PM

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:



#406 Mergath

Mergath

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 10704 posts

Posted Today, 04:43 PM

:grouphug:



#407 texasmom33

texasmom33

    Amateur Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4807 posts

Posted Today, 04:44 PM

I won't even pretend to imagine the emotions you must be going through at the moment. Only reading along I feel relief and sadness for you simultaneously. I will be praying for you and your whole family, for continued strength (you've already shown so much) and hopefully some type of peaceful resolution. Hugs to you.

#408 maize

maize

    Maizgyver

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 16597 posts

Posted Today, 04:45 PM

Was the legal appointment helpful yesterday?

#409 Spudater

Spudater

    Hive Mind Royal Larvae

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 637 posts

Posted Today, 04:47 PM

((Moonhawk))

#410 Rosie_0801

Rosie_0801

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Moderators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 27534 posts

Posted Today, 04:47 PM

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:



#411 cintinative

cintinative

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1438 posts

Posted Today, 04:48 PM

Praying for your strength. 



#412 Seasider

Seasider

    anchored

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7643 posts

Posted Today, 04:48 PM

Was the legal appointment helpful yesterday?


I was also wondering how it went. I hope you received the information necessary to handle the business to come, and protect yourself and children.

And many hugs to you, moonhawk. His leaving is NOT your failure, don't be tempted to let your mind drift that direction. I'm hoping for the best outcome for all, but in the meantime, keep doing what ya gotta do.
  • Jaybee and maize like this

#413 Jean in Newcastle

Jean in Newcastle

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 61649 posts

Posted Today, 04:48 PM

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:



#414 LMD

LMD

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2811 posts

Posted Today, 04:53 PM

oh crap. so so sorry moonhawk.:grouphug:

#415 gardenmom5

gardenmom5

    Amateur Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17881 posts

Posted Today, 04:57 PM

I'm so sorry.  with the latest, I hope the lawyer yesterday was helpful and gave you good advice on how to be proactive in protecting yourself and your children.


  • Catwoman and maize like this

#416 jrn

jrn

    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 799 posts

Posted Today, 04:59 PM

Hugs

#417 MercyA

MercyA

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4572 posts

Posted Today, 05:03 PM

I'm so sorry, Moonhawk.  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:



#418 Another Lynn

Another Lynn

    Got Coffee?

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8225 posts

Posted Today, 05:05 PM

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:



#419 Selkie

Selkie

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 906 posts

Posted Today, 05:05 PM

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:



#420 Catwoman

Catwoman

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 27803 posts

Posted Today, 05:07 PM

Well, he just left to go sign a lease on an apartment. So, that's that.


I know this is difficult for you, but from a legal perspective, this is actually a good thing because you are able to remain in your home with your children. It may even end up better for your marriage, because you will be able to take a step back from the daily drama he has been causing, and he will see firsthand what it's like to live away from you and the kids -- and it probably won't be nearly as much fun as he is imagining it will be.

One thing I will suggest is that if he moves out, don't allow him to pop in at home any time he feels like it. Don't make it too easy for him to think he still lives at home even though he also has the apartment. Let him fend for himself for his meals and his laundry, and insist on being informed when he plans to visit the kids.

I'm not trying to be cold or vengeful here; I just want to be sure he sees what he's giving up in order to live his new lifestyle.
  • Jean in Newcastle, Another Lynn, _ -_- and 15 others like this

#421 Jaybee

Jaybee

    Hive Mind Worker Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 806 posts

Posted Today, 05:08 PM

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  I'm so sorry. Praying for strength and wisdom for you.

 

ETA:  I'm sorry because you are going through this whole thing, and you must feel so overwhelmed. Yet, his moving out may give you a little space emotionally, and may make him realize he needs help more quickly.


Edited by Jaybee, Today, 05:11 PM.

  • Catwoman, snowbeltmom and maize like this

#422 Seasider

Seasider

    anchored

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 7643 posts

Posted Today, 05:25 PM

Unless the attorney said not to, I'd consider changing the locks now.
  • Spryte, gardenmom5, MinivanMom and 5 others like this

#423 Catwoman

Catwoman

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 27803 posts

Posted Today, 05:30 PM

Unless the attorney said not to, I'd consider changing the locks now.


I was thinking the same thing. Once he gets his stuff out of the house, I don't think he should have unlimited access without Moonhawk's permission.

(Edited because my iPad decided I meant to type Moonsong and not Moonhawk. :) )

Edited by Catwoman, Today, 05:31 PM.

  • MercyA and CinV like this

#424 Spryte

Spryte

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8754 posts

Posted Today, 05:37 PM

I'm sorry you're going through this, moonhawk. ((Hugs))

Unless the attorney said not to, I'd consider changing the locks now.

Ditto.

If nothing else, the unattended pilfering that can happen will drive you crazy. I know several couples who had one person move out, the other stay but without changing locks, and each time the person who moved out would stop in and grab things while the other party was out. Toasters and household goods (seriously, true story) were the least of it. More serious were the valuables that aren't often thought of - silver, knickknacks, just the weirdest stuff that one might or might not notice until it's time to "officially" split things up.

Edited by Spryte, Today, 05:38 PM.

  • dirty ethel rackham likes this

#425 hjffkj

hjffkj

    Apprentice Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5670 posts

Posted Today, 05:41 PM

I'm sorry you're going through this, moonhawk. ((Hugs))

Ditto.

If nothing else, the unattended pilfering that can happen will drive you crazy. I know several couples who had one person move out, the other stay but without changing locks, and each time the person who moved out would stop in and grab things while the other party was out. Toasters and household goods (seriously, true story) were the least of it. More serious were the valuables that aren't often thought of - silver, knickknacks, just the weirdest stuff that one might or might not notice until it's time to

"officially" split things up.


Dh's ex took the microwave one day and the dog the next!

#426 elroisees

elroisees

    Hive Mind Worker Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1770 posts

Posted Today, 05:51 PM

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:



#427 dirty ethel rackham

dirty ethel rackham

    Iris Loamsdown of Deephallow

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9179 posts

Posted Today, 06:06 PM

My heart breaks for you.  Praying for peace for you. 



#428 GinaPagnato

GinaPagnato

    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 993 posts

Posted Today, 06:09 PM

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

So sorry for this trial, Moonhawk. I agree that it's best for the kids and for you that he left at this time. 



#429 Arctic Mama

Arctic Mama

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11181 posts

Posted Today, 06:13 PM

Well, he just left to go sign a lease on an apartment. So, that's that.


I don't 'like' this. But I just wanted to say I'm praying for you both and am glad he left voluntarily, however this goes from here. You have had preternatural calm in the face of massive emotional stress and I cannot believe how well you're handling this.

Truly, you're doing the absolute best you can in an impossible situation. His choices, however much control he has over them, are not your responsibility. I just hope the consequences are as minimal and painless to you and your children as possible.

:grouphug:
  • Patty Joanna, Jaybee, MercyA and 2 others like this

#430 BlessedMom

BlessedMom

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2782 posts

Posted Today, 06:17 PM

((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
My heart hurts for you and your precious children.
I am so very sorry you are having to face this.
I am continuing to pray for you & your family.
May the Lord bless you with comfort and strength!
  • MercyA likes this

#431 emmaluv+2more

emmaluv+2more

    Hive Mind Worker Bee

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 283 posts

Posted Today, 06:26 PM

Unless the attorney said not to, I'd consider changing the locks now.


Please don't do this as it would not be legal at this point (he still legally owns the house as well and you have not yet been given sole rights to the property). I would hate to see you get into any trouble.

If you worry about him coming and going, then you would really need to seek legal advice on how to prevent him from doing so. You should do this asap. IME, he will try to enter the home as he sees fit.

#432 SeaConquest

SeaConquest

    Advocatus Diaboli

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 2640 posts

Posted Today, 06:50 PM

Sending many hugs and prayers for strength during this time.

#433 Scarlett

Scarlett

    Beekeeping Professor

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17757 posts

Posted Today, 06:53 PM

Thinking of you. I know it is hard but I am relieved he is moving out.

#434 BooksandBoys

BooksandBoys

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1033 posts

Posted Today, 06:53 PM

((((((((Moonhawk)))))))))

Cry if and when you need to. You've done all you can, and I know you'll keep doing all you can. Protect yourself, and, please, please, ask your church for support for YOU and your babies, not just him.

#435 Okra

Okra

    Hive Mind Worker Bee

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 769 posts

Posted Today, 06:54 PM

Moonhawk, Hugs to you. You are such a strong amazing person.

#436 idnib

idnib

    Hive Mind Level 5 Worker: Forager Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5081 posts

Posted Today, 06:58 PM

I've been put of town and away from electronics for a few days so I'm just catching up.

 

Please look into a restraining order. It's something more easily done with the advice of an attorney but you can also fill out the paperwork yourself.  At least go to the county courthouse and get the papers to be filed and start filling them out. It takes some time. You may never file them, but you don't want to wait until you need them. This would be the first step in getting the locks changed. If he becomes more delusional, especially if those delusions relate to the children, you'll wish to file quickly. They generally take from 1-5 days to be issued and then they still have to be served. 

 

Also consider asking the lawyer about a legal separation as a way of protecting yourself from his debts during this situation. Manic episodes can result in a lot of financial destruction. It might be something you need to do not just for yourself and the kids, but to help him when he recovers. Chances are he will not be able to maintain the lease, either becoming unable to work properly, or losing income as a result of being in treatment. The protection of a separation will depend on your state.

 

I'm sorry again that this is happening. Manic episodes literally affect the consequences area of the brain. He cannot think ahead to the obvious results of his actions. He may appear at times to understand and seem to be getting better, but without treatment he is most likely sliding away from reason.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:


  • gardenmom5, okbud and MercyA like this

#437 Anne in CA

Anne in CA

    Hive Mind Queen Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5130 posts

Posted Today, 07:06 PM

I am just so sorry. Please remember to be compassionate to yourself. You seem to have done more than enough, it is not your fault that it was not enough. 


  • gardenmom5 likes this

#438 gardenmom5

gardenmom5

    Amateur Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 17881 posts

Posted Today, 07:08 PM

I'm sorry you're going through this, moonhawk. ((Hugs))

Ditto.

If nothing else, the unattended pilfering that can happen will drive you crazy. I know several couples who had one person move out, the other stay but without changing locks, and each time the person who moved out would stop in and grab things while the other party was out. Toasters and household goods (seriously, true story) were the least of it. More serious were the valuables that aren't often thought of - silver, knickknacks, just the weirdest stuff that one might or might not notice until it's time to "officially" split things up.

 

I know it's not the case here - but because my ex-sil was the one in the house . . she SOLD my *mother's* silver.
 



#439 HTRMom

HTRMom

    Hive Mind Level 3 Worker: Honeymaking Bee

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 176 posts

Posted Today, 07:11 PM

Prayers.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

#440 bolt.

bolt.

    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4179 posts

Posted Today, 07:15 PM

Oh! I'm so sorry it has come to this. My heart hurts for you and your kids, and I'm praying for strength and wisdom to saturate your life right now.

#441 Garga

Garga

    Amateur Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 9245 posts

Posted Today, 07:26 PM

I'm so sorry for you and the kids. Does he have the money for an apartment?

#442 Pink and Green Mom

Pink and Green Mom

    These are the times that try mom's soul

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 1784 posts

Posted Today, 07:26 PM

I'm so sorry.  Many hugs to you and your children.  :grouphug:



#443 Patty Joanna

Patty Joanna

    Empress Bee

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 8532 posts

Posted Today, 07:39 PM

:-/

 

I don't know what more you could have done.  

 

Mercy and peace.

 


  • MercyA likes this

#444 myfunnybunch

myfunnybunch

    Amateur Bee Keeper

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 5998 posts

Posted Today, 07:57 PM

Praying for you as you face this challenge.