I'm a bit at a loss and not sure how to handle this situation.
My 13yo son is intellectually disabled with autistic tendencies.
Several years ago my FIL died. We explained to him repeatedly what happened, that we were going to the funeral, what it would be like, etc. He seemed fine and like it was all sinking in. Then we walked into the wake room, and he lost it. Uncontrollable. We had to remove him from the situation completely. It was as if it really hadn't sunk in until he saw the body.
Fast forward a few years. We were in New York to visit FIL's gravesite for the first time. Ds seemed to handle it okay, until we got into the car. At that point he had a total meltdown about never being allowed to sit in the front seat. Completely irrational. I figured out, eventually, that his grief was misplaced. He was grieving over visiting the gravesite, but he didn't know how to let that grief manifest itself. Hence the irrational meltdown.
Fast forward to last Thursday. We had to put down our beloved family dog. While the rest of us were completely heartbroken over the situation, ds seemed not bothered by it. Until a few days later. He asked me if I missed our dog, and I said that I did and that I was sad about it. He started crying and said that he missed his friends from our last home. Again, it's the misplaced grief. I have not seen him cry once about the dog, but now he's crying about missing his friends from the home we moved away from a year ago?
I do not know how to handle this grieving process with him. It's as if he knows he's grieving, but he takes that grief and misdirects it. What do I do with this???