More Co-op Drama...What Would You Do?

[Chelli]

You can see my first problem with this co-op in this post: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/629014-vent-homeschool-co-op-drama/page-1

 

The two people mentioned in the post I linked above (the literature teacher and the child who made the racist comment in class) are causing my oldest to stop speaking in the literature class. The literature teacher and the student who made racist comments are actually mother and son. I'll call them Mrs Jones and Jack.

Apparently since the new semester started after Christmas break the class has taken a turn to more of a discussion of conservative political talking points instead of actually book discussion. I firmly believe this is because of what happened at the end of the year in my class. Mrs. Jones feels the need to counter what she feels are my flaming liberal tendencies that I share in writing class (even though all we talk about is writing). Last week my daughter informed me that Jack has spent almost the entire year making comments in the literature class she is stupid, a dumb blonde, naive, and, horror of horrors, a liberal. He has also made disparaging comments to other girls in class, but since my daughter is the most outspoken she gets the brunt of his comments. Mrs. Jones, the teacher and Jack's mom, does nothing when he makes these comments but laugh a little. My dd has now stopped commenting in class because she doesn't want to deal with Jack's comments. I had no idea any of this was happening, but now I've heard the same thing from three different girls in that class.

 

We only have two classes left for the year. Should I say something to the co-op director or go directly to Mrs. Jones? I'm afraid after my interaction with Jack and Mrs. Jones last semester, I'll be seen as having a case of sour grapes and my concerns will be dismissed. Mrs. Jones is also kind of the co-director of the co-op so that adds another layer of complication. I'm certain we will not be back at this co-op next year due to all the drama but I don't want Jack to continue his verbal bullying of the girls that do participate.

[maize]

Does the co-op have any written policy regarding bullying or harassment?

[Guest]

Well she sounds like a peach. I'd go to the co op board or coordinator and explain what is going on for their input. And I'd none to gently tell the kid and mom both to knock it off.

 

If the co op didn't take the behavior seriously I'd leave.

[HSmomof2]

I would say something to all three---co-op director, Mrs Jones and Jack about the completely inappropriate comments and behavior. I'd finish the last two classes but make it very clear why you will not be back.

[zoobie]

Director. That's beyond inappropriate.

[Carol in Cal.]

Please do not let this go.

Why is there even a question about this?

It's utterly sexist and completely unacceptable.  IT IS SHUTTING YOUR DAUGHTER DOWN because of that.

 

[Ellie]

I would say something to all three---co-op director, Mrs Jones and Jack about the completely inappropriate comments and behavior. I'd finish the last two classes but make it very clear why you will not be back.

 

:iagree: ...because the offenders should know who it is who accuses them of bad behavior. They are past the point of reconciliation, of course. It is only that they should know.

[HomeAgain]

I'd wire my child, get it on tape, and quite firmly let them both know that harassment will NOT be tolerated, you will be escalating this, and if things aren't resolved in an appropriate manner you will be sharing it quite publicly.

 

Hurt my kid, get mama bear right behind.

[Seasider]

I'd wire my child, get it on tape, and quite firmly let them both know that harassment will NOT be tolerated, you will be escalating this, and if things aren't resolved in an appropriate manner you will be sharing it quite publicly.

 

Hurt my kid, get mama bear right behind.

I'm not sure I'd go as far as "wiring," but I'd request a class monitor. Is there another parent that can sit quietly in the back of the classroom? Jack may be caught in the act, or at the very least your dd can feel safe enough to participate through the end of the semester.

[catz]

Are you available to sit in on the other class?  Because if I were, I would plant myself in there unapologetically for the rest of the year.  I think these co-op situations are so hard.  Some parents will never admit their perfect little angel could possibly misbehave badly. 

 

As a director, when 2 kids are giving 2 different stories it can be hard to navigate.  Although, given you have 3 girls giving the same story that would help you approach the director.  No volunteer is really set to serve as a mediator.  We've had so much drama at our co-op lately and I am on the leadership team.

[8circles]

Holy cow.

 

OK. I'd definitely talk to the director, explain the situation, & ask to meet with the her, requesting that Mrs. Jones also be present. I'd expect there to be

1) acknowledgement of the situation from Mrs Jones & Jack

2) an apology from Mrs. Jones & Jack to you & your daughter

3) an apology to the entire class from Mrs Jones & Jack

4) a plan to make sure this is not a problem going forward.

 

If ALL of those things were not done, I'd leave the co-op immediately, resigning from teaching the class. I'd also send an email to all the participants in both your class & your daughter's, explaining the reason for your leaving. The parents of the other kids in Mrs. Jones's class need to know that this is ongoing.

[Anne in CA]

Mrs. Jones and her son sound like real jerks. I'm sorry. 

[EmseB]

I'd look at the laws in my state about recording people without their knowledge, and then assuming I could, I would record some of what's going on to play for the director. If I were the director I'd want to know.

[DawnM]

How does your daughter feel about staying through the end of the year?  

 

I would be inclined to see if the other 3 girls would say something as well.

 

I am so sorry.  I have dealt with co-op and homeschool drama and it stinks.

[clementine]

Holy cow.

 

OK. I'd definitely talk to the director, explain the situation, & ask to meet with the her, requesting that Mrs. Jones also be present. I'd expect there to be

1) acknowledgement of the situation from Mrs Jones & Jack

2) an apology from Mrs. Jones & Jack to you & your daughter

3) an apology to the entire class from Mrs Jones & Jack

4) a plan to make sure this is not a problem going forward.

 

If ALL of those things were not done, I'd leave the co-op immediately, resigning from teaching the class. I'd also send an email to all the participants in both your class & your daughter's, explaining the reason for your leaving. The parents of the other kids in Mrs. Jones's class need to know that this is ongoing.

^ This.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would not want my child to be in a class taught by a bully who allows her son (or any student for that matter) to bully.  I would pull my teen from the class and I would let the director know in writing exactly why my teen was being pulled and why we wouldn't be back.  I would cc. the communication to the teacher and to anyone else in authority so that it is not swept under the rug (unless they all agreed to do so). 

[kroe1]

I would not even consider letting my kid go back in that class if what you have heard is true. I would never intentionally set my kiddo in front of a bully. I agree with the others about putting your reasons in writing and sending them to the director. Hopefully, that teacher will be asked not to teach anymore.

[AK_Mom4]

Comments about my kid being stupid or a dumb blonde that are not being shut down and stomped on by the teacher would have me standing in there having a discussion with the Director and the Teacher.  The fact that it is Teacher's kid doesn't give him a pass.

 

"DD tells me that she is facing quite a bit of hostility in your class, including being called "stupid" and "dumb blonde" by your son in front of the class.  She also reports that you did nothing to shut that talk down.  I would like to hear your explanation for why you would let my daughter be singled out in such a sexist manner in your class."

 

Of course, DD would be embarrassed that I did this, but I would do it anyways.  I wouldn't expect any improvement from the teacher - in fact I would expect her to go on the attack.  I also probably wouldn't expect the Director to have my back, but I would make a big stink.  

 

Frankly, there's enough "girls are stupid" messages in the academic world without letting a teacher have a pass on this one, even in a co-op.

[Farrar]

This whole thing makes me really sad. When you're teaching older kids - especially middle and high schoolers - a good class in the humanities or social sciences is inevitably going to hit on current topics and issues of controversy. And they can be difficult to maneuver and manage. Different people have different lines they draw and reasonable people can totally disagree about where those lines are, how much hot button issues are appropriate to allow, how far to let the kids go in discussion, and how much the teacher should contribute or let the students know about their own beliefs. None of that stuff is straightforward.

 

But you know what is straightforward? Whether or not it's okay for a student to call another student a "dumb blonde" and whether or not a teacher can be allowed to *laugh* about it.

 

Appalling. Just appalling. I would frame it that way too when you go speak to the director. You acknowledge that there can be different positions on discussion of politics in class and the relevance of the teacher's views and the ways to navigate that. You acknowledge that there were issues in the past for you and this parent teacher. But this is not about that. And then refuse to get mired down in it. Just keep going back to "dumb blonde" over and over. The other stuff sounds egregious too, but they really nailed their coffin on that one.

Edited March 28, 2017 by Farrar

[Guest]

I find the teacher's responses much worse than the son because she is in a position of authority. He is being an ignorant ass. But she is allowing degradation and rudeness to persist - nopers.

 

But if my daughters make it to high school only being called dumb blondes? I guess I consider that a win for civility. I'm pretty sure I was addressed by colorful variations involving the C word by middle school, during class. Doesn't make it right, but it's not that unusual and stupidity comments are pretty mild on th rudenes scale even at that age.

 

I feel like I'm missing some of the outrage on here toward him instead of almost entirely toward mom. The mom is completely out of line and the son is reflecting that lack of restraint with his own juvenile behavior added in there. But the latter I expect even among homeschoolers to some extent. The former is where I would focus my complaints. His shutting down of women is inappropriate, but the teacher is the one who should be handling it and she isn't. That's a BIG problem.

 

Are my own horrible experiences clouding my ability to see the BFD here? I acknowledge it's possible. I'm just not feeling as lathered up about this as everyone else on here :o

Edited March 28, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[unsinkable]

I would ask to meet with Mrs. Jones and the director. I'd ask Mrs. Jones what her version of the story is.

 

Once she says her version, if what your DD has told you is confirmed, I'd ask for her and her son to step down from the class immediately.

 

If her version does not confirm your DD's, I'd tell them that I believe DD and I can no longer have her in Mrs. Jones's class, and that she is not returning.

 

I'd also make it clear that you'd finish teaching and your family would not be returning next year.

[8circles]

 

But if my daughters make it to high school only being called dumb blondes? I guess I consider that a win for civility. I'm pretty sure I was addressed by colorful variations involving the C word by middle school, during class. Doesn't make it right, but it's not that unusual and stupidity comments are pretty mild on th rudenes scale even at that age.

 

 

And this illustrates perfectly why this kind of behavior persists. "Only being called dumb blondes" = "a win for civility". 

[Guest]

And this illustrates perfectly why this kind of behavior persists. "Only being called dumb blondes" = "a win for civility".

No, that's not what I mean. I think it's completely inappropriate and would never allow my children to speak to one another or another kid that way. But the fact remains there are a lot of assholes in the world and they'll probably encounter them. And even good kids get caught in peer nonsense and say stupid, hurtful things.

 

You completely missed my point.

[Mimm]

No, that's not what I mean. I think it's completely inappropriate and would never allow my children to speak to one another or another kid that way. But the fact remains there are a lot of assholes in the world and they'll probably encounter them. And even good kids get caught in peer nonsense and say stupid, hurtful things.

 

You completely missed my point.

 

"There are a lot of assholes in the world" doesn't excuse any one particular asshole's behavior.

 

And I'd question how good a kid is if he's getting caught up in peer nonsense repeatedly and saying stupid hurtful things over and over. I think at some point you forfeit the "good kid" label.

[Carol in Cal.]

No, that's not what I mean. I think it's completely inappropriate and would never allow my children to speak to one another or another kid that way. But the fact remains there are a lot of assholes in the world and they'll probably encounter them. And even good kids get caught in peer nonsense and say stupid, hurtful things.

 

You completely missed my point.

I think your prior post indicated that you might have missed some of our points.

I think that most were focused on the teacher, not the kid--the teacher allowing this in class.

 

And in general, any school that allows this kind of behavior in class is not going to be in loco parentis for my kid, ever. 

[8circles]

No, that's not what I mean. I think it's completely inappropriate and would never allow my children to speak to one another or another kid that way. But the fact remains there are a lot of assholes in the world and they'll probably encounter them. And even good kids get caught in peer nonsense and say stupid, hurtful things.

 

You completely missed my point.

 

I understand your point. I believe it is part of the problem.

[Guest]

I think your prior post indicated that you might have missed some of our points.

I think that most were focused on the teacher, not the kid--the teacher allowing this in class.

 

And in general, any school that allows this kind of behavior in class is not going to be in loco parentis for my kid, ever.

Well obviously we homeschool in part to avoid kids getting beaten up or called c***, as was my experience for being a vocal female in school. But yeah, I'm in total agreement the teacher is the biggest issue. I do think her son if probablg reflecting bad parenting more than actually intentionally malicious on this count. But whatever the reason the one in charge needs to be shutting it down as soon as an unkind and unhelpful word is uttered and she isn't. As I said in my first post I'd leave the co op if they didn't deal with this swiftly and firmly.

 

If sounded to me like to focus was on the dumb blonde comment. Not on the teacher allowing it to go beyond one inappropriate comment, which is where it should have been dealt with. That's where I'd focus my energy. I honestly think if the son sees his mom censured that will probably be more impactful than suspending him from co op, having him apologize, or whatever else. Who knows though?

 

8circles, I'm glad you've never had a kid say something unkind or stupid to another kid. You're amazing and obviously a way better parent than the rest of us who have to deal with our children saying mean things and receiving them in the course of life.

Edited March 28, 2017 by Arctic Mama

[unsinkable]

No, that's not what I mean. I think it's completely inappropriate and would never allow my children to speak to one another or another kid that way. But the fact remains there are a lot of assholes in the world and they'll probably encounter them. And even good kids get caught in peer nonsense and say stupid, hurtful things.

 

You completely missed my point.

I thought you meant if your DDs were "only" called dumb blondes, it would be much improved from what you experienced as a school aged girl.

 

I think I'd understand why you think that is a "win" bc it is so much improved than what you went through. Not that it is fine or OK to call names.

 

???

[Guest]

I thought you meant if your DDs were "only" called dumb blondes, it would be much improved from what you experienced as a school aged girl.

 

I think I'd understand why you think that is a "win" bc it is so much improved than what you went through. Not that it is fine or OK to call names.

 

???

That's exactly what I was saying.

[unsinkable]

That's exactly what I was saying.

Dear God, I speak Arctic!

[catz]

No, that's not what I mean. I think it's completely inappropriate and would never allow my children to speak to one another or another kid that way. But the fact remains there are a lot of assholes in the world and they'll probably encounter them. And even good kids get caught in peer nonsense and say stupid, hurtful things.

 

You completely missed my point.

 

Having taught and helped lead in a co-op situation, I can kind of see this.  Teenagers sometimes lash out inappropriately.  I had a situation where a teen age girl was called a b*tch at co-op.  Same 13 year old was allowed to be very loud and overbearing and in the face of older teens for an extended period of time.  She is socially immature and couldn't or wouldn't read clues that she was pushing buttons and crossing lines repeatedly.  Honestly, I'm not sure this kid shouldn't have a diagnosis.  BOTH parents thought their kids could do no wrong.  It was really hard to navigate. 

 

That said, this behavior and language should be shut down immediately and consistently.  But I also don't think you should demonize kids that outburst inappropriately.  This is a teacher problem IMO.   Respect from and for all should always be what is demanded.

 

[unsinkable]

Well she sounds like a peach. I'd go to the co op board or coordinator and explain what is going on for their input. And I'd none to gently tell the kid and mom both to knock it off.

 

If the co op didn't take the behavior seriously I'd leave.

I find the teacher's responses much worse than the son because she is in a position of authority. He is being an ignorant ass. But she is allowing degradation and rudeness to persist - nopers.

 

But if my daughters make it to high school only being called dumb blondes? I guess I consider that a win for civility. I'm pretty sure I was addressed by colorful variations involving the C word by middle school, during class. Doesn't make it right, but it's not that unusual and stupidity comments are pretty mild on th rudenes scale even at that age.

 

I feel like I'm missing some of the outrage on here toward him instead of almost entirely toward mom. The mom is completely out of line and the son is reflecting that lack of restraint with his own juvenile behavior added in there. But the latter I expect even among homeschoolers to some extent. The former is where I would focus my complaints. His shutting down of women is inappropriate, but the teacher is the one who should be handling it and she isn't. That's a BIG problem.

 

Are my own horrible experiences clouding my ability to see the BFD here? I acknowledge it's possible. I'm just not feeling as lathered up about this as everyone else on here :o

And this illustrates perfectly why this kind of behavior persists. "Only being called dumb blondes" = "a win for civility".

You ignored her first post then edited her second post to the point that it left out any context or explanation.

 

It's crystal clear that Arctic Mama finds the behavior of both the Mom/teacher and her son/student to be wrong. She also specified that she felt the mom's behavior was worse.

 

There is no reason to deliberately misrepresent Arctic Mama's posts.

Edited March 28, 2017 by unsinkable

[Farrar]

It's clearly a teacher problem. I think I focused on the "dumb blonde" (and I was thinking of the "stupid" as well) comment because they're so egregious. But not egregious for a teenager to say - I mean, they are, in a sense, but I get what people are saying about having been called a b**** or a wh*** or a c*** or whatever as teens themselves and that this isn't as bad in some sense. But just that it's so obvious that she should have reprimanded him right then and there and not laughed. Like, whoa.

 

And, honestly, I know a lot of us got called worse as teen girls ourselves. But I was not in any classes where the teacher wouldn't have said *something* to a comment heard by the whole class. It might have been not enough, it might have been a "cut it out" kind of thing without a solid follow up. But even "back in the day" when people weren't as aware, I was never called any of this stuff in a teacher's hearing in the classroom. That's the part that's shocking.

[Garga]

I can see someone saying, "You're being naive." I can see a young teen saying, "That idea is stupid," just because a lot of young teens don't use a lot of adjectives yet, so "stupid" becomes the go-to adjective to cover many ideas.

 

But I cannot see letting a kid get away with saying, "YOU are stupid," and I absolutely cannot see letting a kid get away with calling someone a dumb blonde. No, no, no.

 

Since you're not going back to the co-op anyway, and since there are other girls involved, you need to call a meeting with the people involved and say that these comments should not have been allowed in a classroom and you will be leaving the co-op because of them. They're sexist and immature and have no place in a learning environment and the teacher should not have allowed that sort of hostile environment to form. This is the exact reason that so many people homeschool and now the homeschool co-op isn't even a safe place.

[8circles]

8circles, I'm glad you've never had a kid say something unkind or stupid to another kid. You're amazing and obviously a way better parent than the rest of us who have to deal with our children saying mean things and receiving them in the course of life.

 

Well, that is pretty rude & personal & doesn't even relate to anything I've said. I hope it at least made you feel better.

[8circles]

You ignored her first post then edited her second post to the point that it left out any context or explanation.

 

It's crystal clear that Arctic Mama finds the behavior of both the Mom/teacher and her son/student to be wrong. She also specified that she felt the mom's behavior was worse.

 

There is no reason to deliberately misrepresent Arctic Mama's posts.

 

I didn't ignore her first post. Is there a rule that in order to respond to a post I have to also respond to all prior posts by that user in the same thread?  That's a new one. By that measure then both you & Arctic Mama ignored MY first post. How mature we all are now.

 

In contrast, Arctic Mama ignored all the attention paid to Mrs. Jones's behavior in all the posts prior to hers which I had disagreement with. 

 

I didn't edit out anything that actually pertained to my point nor have I DELIBERATELY misrepresented anyone's posts. You are making a wild accusation about my intentions in posting that you truly have no clue about.

[ErinE]

I find the teacher's responses much worse than the son because she is in a position of authority. He is being an ignorant ass. But she is allowing degradation and rudeness to persist - nopers.

 

But if my daughters make it to high school only being called dumb blondes? I guess I consider that a win for civility. I'm pretty sure I was addressed by colorful variations involving the C word by middle school, during class. Doesn't make it right, but it's not that unusual and stupidity comments are pretty mild on th rudenes scale even at that age.

 

I feel like I'm missing some of the outrage on here toward him instead of almost entirely toward mom. The mom is completely out of line and the son is reflecting that lack of restraint with his own juvenile behavior added in there. But the latter I expect even among homeschoolers to some extent. The former is where I would focus my complaints. His shutting down of women is inappropriate, but the teacher is the one who should be handling it and she isn't. That's a BIG problem.

 

Are my own horrible experiences clouding my ability to see the BFD here? I acknowledge it's possible. I'm just not feeling as lathered up about this as everyone else on here :o

I was called names at that age. It still doesn't make it okay. Shouldn't we do better? Shouldn't we expect better? Middle school aged kids acting out, fine, it happens. Calling them out for it and expecting them to behave - that's crucial. That's part of growing up. He knows he shouldn't call someone names. He needs correction. "Kids will be kids" is no better an excuse than "boys will be boys".

[Jean in Newcastle]

You can always find someone who has had it worse- whether it is bullying or something else. Using that as a yardstick seems rather arbitrary and unwise.

 

I'm sure that most groups have rules of conduct. I would want those enforced.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[MomatHWTK]

I teach my children to deal with bullies not through training them to endure but by encouraging them to protest. Only by standing against wrongs can we hope to stop them. OP, in your case, I probably would withdraw my child and make sure everyone knew why. Either the behavior will be stopped or you will know that it is tacitly endorsed by the administration. Try to use neutral language when explaining the situation. Don't use buzzwords normally associated with one's political leanings. Instead, look for neutral language and avoid emotion and hyperbole. Go higher.  

[Garga]

 

 

It is possible that Mrs. jones doesn't know how to stand up to her boy because this is the kind of household she lives in and tolerates. That is sad, but still totally unacceptable for it to be thrust on your child or in any classroom setting. (or any home, but that is a separate issue).

 

 

 

 

That's what I was thinking as well.  If the boy says these disparaging things against all the girls--they're naive, stupid, and dumb blondes, and if the family is super-conservative, then the woman probably believes them as well.  She perhaps believes that the girls are naive, stupid and dumb compared to males.  She possibly has no idea how to stand up against it, as she believes it is true.  Not sure if that's the case, but it could be.

[Chelli]

Does the co-op have any written policy regarding bullying or harassment?

 

Not that I know of, but I will ask. The co-op is only three years old so I'm not sure they've dealt with much on the bullying/harrassment front since this is the first year it's really exploded into a good size group.

 

Please do not let this go.

Why is there even a question about this?

It's utterly sexist and completely unacceptable.  IT IS SHUTTING YOUR DAUGHTER DOWN because of that.

 

I'm not letting it go. I'm asking what would be the best way to handle it. I would never gloss over my dd being made to feel she can't speak up in a class. Totally unacceptable.

 

I'd wire my child, get it on tape, and quite firmly let them both know that harassment will NOT be tolerated, you will be escalating this, and if things aren't resolved in an appropriate manner you will be sharing it quite publicly.

 

Hurt my kid, get mama bear right behind.

 

I asked my dd if some of the other girls who have received Jack's comments would be willing to speak up. She said that she thought they would. I'm not to the point of recording anything yet.

 

I would not want my child to be in a class taught by a bully who allows her son (or any student for that matter) to bully.  I would pull my teen from the class and I would let the director know in writing exactly why my teen was being pulled and why we wouldn't be back.  I would cc. the communication to the teacher and to anyone else in authority so that it is not swept under the rug (unless they all agreed to do so). 

 

I told her if he said something again for her to get up, pack her bag up, and walk to my class where I'm teaching. She's not getting a grade for the class and it's not required. I told her I would always support her standing up for herself to a bully.

 

Comments about my kid being stupid or a dumb blonde that are not being shut down and stomped on by the teacher would have me standing in there having a discussion with the Director and the Teacher.  The fact that it is Teacher's kid doesn't give him a pass.

 

"DD tells me that she is facing quite a bit of hostility in your class, including being called "stupid" and "dumb blonde" by your son in front of the class.  She also reports that you did nothing to shut that talk down.  I would like to hear your explanation for why you would let my daughter be singled out in such a sexist manner in your class."

 

Of course, DD would be embarrassed that I did this, but I would do it anyways.  I wouldn't expect any improvement from the teacher - in fact I would expect her to go on the attack.  I also probably wouldn't expect the Director to have my back, but I would make a big stink.  

 

Frankly, there's enough "girls are stupid" messages in the academic world without letting a teacher have a pass on this one, even in a co-op.

 

Love the dialogue you provided! I need something planned out to say so I don't get too emotional.

[Chelli]

Thanks for all of the responses and insight!!! You've really helped me to formulate exactly what I want to say and how I want to handle it.

 

Honestly, the vibe I get from the entire mother/son relationship is that on some level she's kind of afraid of him. He's 16, about 6' tall, and very combative if you don't agree with him (I had just a small taste of that in my writing class). From what other kids have mentioned to my dd, the father is also a piece of work.

 

*sigh* I was really hoping this co-op would work out for us since it's so much closer.

 

On a slightly humorous note, my dd wants me to teach in the co-op class next year and teach debate. In her words, "Mom, they need to learn how to argue with facts and not emotional arguments. They (mostly a handful of boys) always resort to ad hominem attacks if they don't know what to say." I must say that I'm proud of this fierce girl I'm raising!  :hurray:

[Garga]

 

Honestly, the vibe I get from the entire mother/son relationship is that on some level she's kind of afraid of him. He's 16, about 6' tall, and very combative if you don't agree with him (I had just a small taste of that in my writing class). From what other kids have mentioned to my dd, the father is also a piece of work.

 

 

 

 

Sounds like the mom is incapable of handling the situation and the best thing all around would be to take it out of her hands and go to the other leader of the co-op.  

[JanetC]

I would not leave my daughter in a class like that. If Mrs. Jones hasn't handled Jack all year, I doubt anybody could say anything to them would cause the behavior to change in the last two weeks.

 

Yes, tell the director, too. But take your kid out.

[Anne in CA]

This is still bothering me. No one talks to my kids like that without getting a chunk taken out of them. I can take a bigger chunk out of someone than they can my kids so it's a bad bet. I have almost 30 years of hospitality experience. Mostly I use that to make people happy. But I can use it to make someone humiliated, and in this case I would. I probably wouldn't talk to the director, I would send a group email so that the director couldn't cover this up. I bet lots of these girls are not telling their parents. The director is likely to downplay this because she needs to work with this woman. Which is fine, it's their coop. But I would make sure no one can pretend differently. 

[BusyMom5]

How much longer will the mother be a teacher?  If Jack is 16, maybe they won't be there next year?  I would hate to step out of a co-op b/c of a loud-mouthed unruly kid who wouldn't even be there next year.  The mother is wrong, and the son needs some manners, but at the same time you want to do what is best for your kids, and if this co-op is otherwise good, maybe its worth it to stick it out.  I'd have DD leave the room if he does it again, and I would definately tell the mother that Jack needs to stop name-calling in class, but it doesn't sound like she is going to be able to control him.  There are only 2 more classes, so just have her not go, or walk out if she is picked on.  Don't decide on next year until you know if this mom and her son will even be there.  If they are, then talk to the director about the issues you had last year, and that your DD does not want to be in a class w/ Jack or his mother again. 

 

 

Oh, and tell your DD to be proud of that liberal label!  Don't let it be an insult!