WWYD - parenting advice on dd10's art

[Aura]

So, I posted a while back on how we're renovating the upstairs bathroom. (It's slow, but it's coming!) I asked my artsy dd10 to paint a picture similar to one she did in art class for the bathroom. She did it yesterday, but I feel like she rushed through it and didn't do as nice a job as she did in art class.

 

Granted, in art class, everyone is focused on their art and there isn't as many distractions as working at the dining room table. So, I understand that she was probably not as focused at home as when she was in class, but....

 

The picture is smeared and splattered in a couple of places.  I don't want to discourage her, but I'm tempted to gently point out those things and ask her to do it again, or at least fix the smears and splatters. The thing is, I KNOW she can do better! If that was the best she could do, then I'd hang it up and love it! But it just isn't.

 

I'm thinking that maybe I need to gently talk to her about it, then set her up in her own bedroom, free from distractions and let her go at it again.

 

What do you think? I really don't want to discourage her, but I also want her to understand the value of taking your time to do a good job versus rushing through and ending up with something that isn't your best.

 

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

So, I posted a while back on how we're renovating the upstairs bathroom. (It's slow, but it's coming!) I asked my artsy dd10 to paint a picture similar to one she did in art class for the bathroom. She did it yesterday, but I feel like she rushed through it and didn't do as nice a job as she did in art class.

 

Granted, in art class, everyone is focused on their art and there isn't as many distractions as working at the dining room table. So, I understand that she was probably not as focused at home as when she was in class, but....

 

The picture is smeared and splattered in a couple of places.  I don't want to discourage her, but I'm tempted to gently point out those things and ask her to do it again, or at least fix the smears and splatters. The thing is, I KNOW she can do better! If that was the best she could do, then I'd hang it up and love it! But it just isn't.

 

I'm thinking that maybe I need to gently talk to her about it, then set her up in her own bedroom, free from distractions and let her go at it again.

 

What do you think? I really don't want to discourage her, but I also want her to understand the value of taking your time to do a good job versus rushing through and ending up with something that isn't your best.

 

 

I think there is only one thing to do with her picture: Thank her, and hang it up in your bathroom.

 

I speak from experience here. My son (12) is a talented artist, but he's still a child. Some days he's feelin' it, but some days he's not...if I want his genius to re-emerge on his timetable, I have to be encouraging on non-genius days, too.

 

I'll tell you one more thing that helps me be supportive on smear and splatter days: I couldn't do what he does, on the best art day of my life! I am not going to say "this is not your best" to someone who is operating on an entirely different plane, and who is still a child.

 

[fairfarmhand]

She may not want to. My dd does art because she enjoys it personally but would stress over it being displayed.

 

 

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[Anne in CA]

Honestly, I only display art projects permanently that are the child's best work. If she rushed through it I would be as gracious as possible about asking her to make another. Also I would understand that she simply may not have the interest in making three of something. She is ten. But at ten IMO she is old enough to understand not going to the expense and trouble of framing something that is not her best work. 

 

I am not a fan of telling kids that any effort is good enough. Kids do need to understand that not every effort is amazing, and that's okay.

[maize]

I'm thinking that in art class the teacher is there to guide and direct as needed, I wouldn't expect a child to be able to accomplish on their own what they are able to accomplish with the aid of a skilled mentor.

Edited March 23, 2017 by maize

[Aura]

She may not want to. My dd does art because she enjoys it personally but would stress over it being displayed.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Do you mean she may not want it displayed? Or that she may not want to re-do it? Or that she didn't want to do it in the first place?

 

Regarding display: she loves it when we display her art. She was thrilled when I asked her to paint a picture for the bathroom.

[marbel]

My daughter is 18, taking art classes via dual enrollment at CC, headed for an art major.  Just giving you perspective from another mom with an art kid.

 

Here's how this would have worked in my house:  I'd hang the picture without comment (other than "thank you for doing it!").  My daughter would be happy for a while.  Then, after some time... months?  weeks?... who knows... a new picture would be made and replace the old one.  She would see where she could improve it.  She'd improve it on her own, when she was ready. 

 

:-)

Edited March 23, 2017 by marbel

[Serenade]

I would ask her to self-evaluate her work -- what she did well and what she maybe didn't do so well. If she finds her own flaws, I would gently suggest she consider a redo.

 

I have a 14 year old who is fairly good at art, and it is obvious the days that he was focused and the days he was rushing to get through things. Often we'll just discuss, and I might comment that it seems that he rushed through things, and usually he'll agree. Occasionally I'll ask for a redo but not often. I think your bathroom picture may be worth a redo, but see if you can get your daughter to come to that conclusion herself.

 

ETA: We're pretty straightforward about work here, whether art or other subjects. I give praise when it's due, but I also point out when something is not up to snuff. Neither of my boys are real sensitive, though.

Edited March 23, 2017 by Serenade

[lavender's green]

I would hang it and move on. I did some artsy stuff of a different type and occasionally made things for my mom at her request. If she had found fault with something it would have seriously damaged our relationship.

[Aura]

I think there is only one thing to do with her picture: Thank her, and hang it up in your bathroom.

 

I speak from experience here. My son (12) is a talented artist, but he's still a child. Some days he's feelin' it, but some days he's not...if I want his genius to re-emerge on his timetable, I have to be encouraging on non-genius days, too.

 

I'll tell you one more thing that helps me be supportive on smear and splatter days: I couldn't do what he does, on the best art day of my life! I am not going to say "this is not your best" to someone who is operating on an entirely different plane, and who is still a child.

 

 

 

Honestly, I only display art projects permanently that are the child's best work. If she rushed through it I would be as gracious as possible about asking her to make another. Also I would understand that she simply may not have the interest in making three of something. She is ten. But at ten IMO she is old enough to understand not going to the expense and trouble of framing something that is not her best work. 

 

I am not a fan of telling kids that any effort is good enough. Kids do need to understand that not every effort is amazing, and that's okay.

 

See? LOL This is exactly my conundrum! I'm thinking both of these things!

[Jean in Newcastle]

What happened to the picture she did for art? Didn't she get it back? Can't you put them side by side and ask her to choose one for the bathroom?

 

 

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[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited March 27, 2017 by 1234

[Lang Syne Boardie]

 

 

Regarding display: she loves it when we display her art. She was thrilled when I asked her to paint a picture for the bathroom.

 

This is what I'm saying -- what you're dealing with is immaturity. :) She is probably not mature enough to be hired for art and then have it criticized and rejected. That's why to thank her and hang it up; as marbel said, you can look for an opportunity to replace it (with dd's work) later.

 

Being a very good artist is one thing. Being a commissioned artist is another! Our young artists do feel some stress when they are doing work that has been requested, even if they want to do it.

 

I have only recently begun to allow my son to take on commissions, and then only if he doesn't have anything else going on that is stressing him. He did something very special for a relative this month, hired by another relative to do it as a gift. But that's all I've let him do this year so far.

 

I made the mistake of letting him take commissions from friends when he was about 9 or 10. The first few were easy and fun; he could do it in his sleep, had been doing the same work (just for fun) for a long time. But then he got tired and stressed, and began to create less art on his own. I realized that he was not mature enough to budget the expectations, even though he was capable of the artwork.

 

What works better for children is to *occasionally* ask for a piece that is already completed, that they created without any expectations on them. I'll ask my son if I may hang up this or that work for awhile, and he's usually proud and happy to let me. If it's something he made without expectations, that doesn't hit his OWN standards, he'll tell me not to hang it up.

[Aura]

I'm thinking that in art class the teacher is there to guide and direct as needed, I wouldn't expect a child to be able to accomplish on their own what they are able to accomplish with the aid of a skilled mentor.

 

Her art teacher is verryyy relaxed. She doesn't spend a lot of time directing or guiding but lets the kids explore. "There are no mistakes in art class." I love her! Also, this is an easy painting, very similar to others she's done. With those things in mind, I am very confident this is something dd can do well without her teacher.

[Aura]

I would ask her to self-evaluate her work -- what she did well and what she maybe didn't do so well. If she finds her own flaws, I would gently suggest she consider a redo.

 

I have a 14 year old who is fairly good at art, and it is obvious the days that he was focused and the days he was rushing to get through things. Often we'll just discuss, and I might comment that it seems that he rushed through things, and usually he'll agree. Occasionally I'll ask for a redo but not often. I think your bathroom picture may be worth a redo, but see if you can get your daughter to come to that conclusion herself.

 

ETA: We're pretty straightforward about work here, whether art or other subjects. I give praise when it's due, but I also point out when something is not up to snuff. Neither of my boys are real sensitive, though.

 

 

What happened to the picture she did for art? Didn't she get it back? Can't you put them side by side and ask her to choose one for the bathroom?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I still have her picture. I think I could do a bit of what both of you are saying: put the two together and let her "self-evaluate" and try again. 

[Aura]

This is what I'm saying -- what you're dealing with is immaturity. :) She is probably not mature enough to be hired for art and then have it criticized and rejected. That's why to thank her and hang it up; as marbel said, you can look for an opportunity to replace it (with dd's work) later.

 

Being a very good artist is one thing. Being a commissioned artist is another! Our young artists do feel some stress when they are doing work that has been requested, even if they want to do it.

 

I have only recently begun to allow my son to take on commissions, and then only if he doesn't have anything else going on that is stressing him. He did something very special for a relative this month, hired by another relative to do it as a gift. But that's all I've let him do this year so far.

 

I made the mistake of letting him take commissions from friends when he was about 9 or 10. The first few were easy and fun; he could do it in his sleep, had been doing the same work (just for fun) for a long time. But then he got tired and stressed, and began to create less art on his own. I realized that he was not mature enough to budget the expectations, even though he was capable of the artwork.

 

What works better for children is to *occasionally* ask for a piece that is already completed, that they created without any expectations on them. I'll ask my son if I may hang up this or that work for awhile, and he's usually proud and happy to let me. If it's something he made without expectations, that doesn't hit his OWN standards, he'll tell me not to hang it up.

 

You have some very good points. Definitely a different perspective than what I was thinking. Thank you.

[lewber]

Thank you Tibbie for your perspective! This is very helpful to me and hits home on something I just did to my DS. I can cheapest see that my pushing caused him to turn in the other direction;)

Thanks for sharing!

[Calm37]

Yes, hang it up! A similar project from my now 28 yo daughter (a hurried stick-figure drawing that I had to PAY to put on a plate at her preschool) still goes on the wall every Christmas. It has become quite precious to me. I remember how much it bugged me at the time, though.

[happi duck]

We rotate art. We try for every three months but it is more likely six months.

 

Maybe you could rotate the art there and next time choose a piece that wasn't done under pressure.

[Shelly in IL]

Ask for another similar "companion" piece. Then only have room for one.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I still have her picture. I think I could do a bit of what both of you are saying: put the two together and let her "self-evaluate" and try again. 

 

If you still have the original picture that you liked, why did you have to ask for another?  I'm sorry if I'm dense, but I don't understand why you couldn't have just asked her if you could put the original one up to begin with.  I've found with my art that my first attempt at something is when the creative juices are flowing and it comes out naturally.  Copying the original always comes out stilted and not as good. 

[Catwoman]

Her art teacher is verryyy relaxed. She doesn't spend a lot of time directing or guiding but lets the kids explore. "There are no mistakes in art class." I love her! Also, this is an easy painting, very similar to others she's done. With those things in mind, I am very confident this is something dd can do well without her teacher.

If you love the art teacher for telling your dd that there are "no mistakes in art class," I think you would be sending quite the opposite message by asking her to re-do the painting she did for you.

 

It was sweet of her to honor your request for the painting. I think it's a bit mean to do anything other than thank her and hang the painting in the bathroom.

[Anne]

I'd say thank you, and hang it! Then, I'd use that space to rotate my favorite pieces of her art. If she's arty, there will be more! I wouldn't tell her it was her best work, but I would definitely not critique it or tell her it wasn't good enough! She *will* figure that out sooner or later!

 

Relationship first.....

 

Anne

[Dmmetler]

This is what I'm saying -- what you're dealing with is immaturity. :) She is probably not mature enough to be hired for art and then have it criticized and rejected. That's why to thank her and hang it up; as marbel said, you can look for an opportunity to replace it (with dd's work) later.

 

Being a very good artist is one thing. Being a commissioned artist is another! Our young artists do feel some stress when they are doing work that has been requested, even if they want to do it.

 

I have only recently begun to allow my son to take on commissions, and then only if he doesn't have anything else going on that is stressing him. He did something very special for a relative this month, hired by another relative to do it as a gift. But that's all I've let him do this year so far.

 

I made the mistake of letting him take commissions from friends when he was about 9 or 10. The first few were easy and fun; he could do it in his sleep, had been doing the same work (just for fun) for a long time. But then he got tired and stressed, and began to create less art on his own. I realized that he was not mature enough to budget the expectations, even though he was capable of the artwork.

 

What works better for children is to *occasionally* ask for a piece that is already completed, that they created without any expectations on them. I'll ask my son if I may hang up this or that work for awhile, and he's usually proud and happy to let me. If it's something he made without expectations, that doesn't hit his OWN standards, he'll tell me not to hang it up.

I've noticed the same thing with DD's webcomic. When she has been asked if she would do a picture of someone else's study species or for their organization, she's had a hard time-much harder than when she's just drawing for her and then deciding if it's blog-worthy. I think often the people who suggest such commissions think they're doing the child a favor, and don't realize just how much stress it adds.

[Guest]

If you love the art teacher for telling your dd that there are "no mistakes in art class," I think you would be sending quite the opposite message by asking her to re-do the painting she did for you.

 

It was sweet of her to honor your request for the painting. I think it's a bit mean to do anything other than thank her and hang the painting in the bathroom.

I agree with this sentiment exactly!

[AmandaVT]

I agree with this sentiment exactly!

 

Thirded!

[extendedforecast]

Definitely do not criticize her art. Pointing out the spatters will come across as you being critical of her work. Like the others said, thank her and hang it up until something better comes along. I have three artsy children in middle and high school, and they can be so sensitive (and critical) about their own work. I wouldn't want to add to that negativity.

[J-rap]

Maybe you can have a frame that you keep on the wall that you continually update with new pieces of her art as she does it.  That way you're not hurting her feelings and you're giving her a chance to keep improving.

 

At the same time, if she is serious about art, I see nothing wrong with asking her what she likes about it, etc. etc.  (I mean, in a positive way!) Get her to evaluate it herself, and in the end, she might reach the conclusion to take more time on the next piece.

[Aura]

If you still have the original picture that you liked, why did you have to ask for another?  I'm sorry if I'm dense, but I don't understand why you couldn't have just asked her if you could put the original one up to begin with.  I've found with my art that my first attempt at something is when the creative juices are flowing and it comes out naturally.  Copying the original always comes out stilted and not as good. 

 

Because I'm going for a specific design theme and colors in the bathroom. The point was not to simply display the artwork.

 

The original picture was a great design: very simplistic with minimal colors, but it needed a little tweaking, especially in the colors. DD and I talked about this. (She's as much into interior design as she is into painting.) She commented that the picture would be better "if" ...so I suggested getting the supplies and her making another one. She liked that idea, so we rolled with it.

[Catwoman]

Because I'm going for a specific design theme and colors in the bathroom. The point was not to simply display the artwork.

 

The original picture was a great design: very simplistic with minimal colors, but it needed a little tweaking, especially in the colors. DD and I talked about this. (She's as much into interior design as she is into painting.) She commented that the picture would be better "if" ...so I suggested getting the supplies and her making another one. She liked that idea, so we rolled with it.

Ok, so she was kind enough to make a new painting for you in the colors you preferred.

 

Are you going to frame it and hang it in the bathroom?

 

This wasn't a commission with a professional artist. This was your 10yo doing something sweet for you.

 

Sorry to sound snarky, but if you were going to be picky about a painting meeting your "specific design theme and colors," you probably shouldn't have asked a 10yo to paint it for you. As it is, you should be happy that she made it for you, not judging its artistic merit.

 

IMO, the sentiment should outweigh your design theme.

Edited March 23, 2017 by Catwoman

[myfunnybunch]

I agree with Anne. Relationship first. Creating art is such a personal experience. My now-grown artist dd would have been crushed if I'd suggested her art needed improvement because it was as though she'd put a little piece of herself on the canvas. Especially at 10-12ish, when she was really exploring who she was as an artist and a person. It was really important to me to honor where she was developmentally.

 

I still have a couple of her pieces hanging in our home. I treasure them.

Edited March 23, 2017 by myfunnybunch

[ktgrok]

Sorry to sound snarky, but if you were going to be picky about a painting meeting your "specific design theme and colors," you probably shouldn't have asked a 10yo to paint it for you. As it is, you should be happy that she made it for you, not judging its artistic merit.

 

IMO, the sentiment should outweigh your design theme.

 

that

[unsinkable]

I'd give her a big hug and kiss, and a "thank you!" and then hang it up as is.

[ErinE]

I think there is only one thing to do with her picture: Thank her, and hang it up in your bathroom.

 

I speak from experience here. My son (12) is a talented artist, but he's still a child. Some days he's feelin' it, but some days he's not...if I want his genius to re-emerge on his timetable, I have to be encouraging on non-genius days, too.

 

I'll tell you one more thing that helps me be supportive on smear and splatter days: I couldn't do what he does, on the best art day of my life! I am not going to say "this is not your best" to someone who is operating on an entirely different plane, and who is still a child.

 

 

 

If you love the art teacher for telling your dd that there are "no mistakes in art class," I think you would be sending quite the opposite message by asking her to re-do the painting she did for you.

 

It was sweet of her to honor your request for the painting. I think it's a bit mean to do anything other than thank her and hang the painting in the bathroom.

 

 

Definitely do not criticize her art. Pointing out the spatters will come across as you being critical of her work. Like the others said, thank her and hang it up until something better comes along. I have three artsy children in middle and high school, and they can be so sensitive (and critical) about their own work. I wouldn't want to add to that negativity.

 

Hang up the painting. Please don't criticize her work; don't ask her to do it again. I can't imagine asking my fourteen-year old for a do-over, let alone a ten-year old. My older two have artistic talent and for me as the parent to say anything critical about a special painting I requested would hurt them deeply.

 

Make it a special space for her, one where she can replace it with a new piece every few months. That way your daughter has a space to display her art and you won't need to look at this one imperfect painting forever. 

Edited March 23, 2017 by ErinE

[Aura]

Yes, she was "kind" and "sweet" to make another picture. My point is not that I don't appreciate her work. I know that tone can be hard to convey in text, but I get the feeling that some seem to think that since I'm even questioning hanging it vs having her re-do it, I'm not appreciating what she's done. That's not what's going on.

 

It's not about being perfect. It's not about my having unrealistic expectations of a 10 year old. I am not being picky based on colors or design scheme. That's not what's going on.

 

This wasn't some labor intensive work. She spent maybe an hour on it, at most. There were sloppy mistakes. I KNOW she can, and has, done better. I also know she was distracted (too many little brothers around while she was working). 

 

And, Catwoman, I am not judging her artistic merit. I am judging a rushed, sloppy job where I know my dd can do better...maybe you missed some key points in my first post. (Sorry if that sounds snarky.)

 

So, I posted a while back on how we're renovating the upstairs bathroom. (It's slow, but it's coming!) I asked my artsy dd10 to paint a picture similar to one she did in art class for the bathroom. She did it yesterday, but I feel like she rushed through it and didn't do as nice a job as she did in art class.

 

Granted, in art class, everyone is focused on their art and there isn't as many distractions as working at the dining room table. So, I understand that she was probably not as focused at home as when she was in class, but....

 

The picture is smeared and splattered in a couple of places.  I don't want to discourage her, but I'm tempted to gently point out those things and ask her to do it again, or at least fix the smears and splatters. The thing is, I KNOW she can do better! If that was the best she could do, then I'd hang it up and love it! But it just isn't.

 

I'm thinking that maybe I need to gently talk to her about it, then set her up in her own bedroom, free from distractions and let her go at it again.

 

What do you think? I really don't want to discourage her, but I also want her to understand the value of taking your time to do a good job versus rushing through and ending up with something that isn't your best.

 

[Aura]

I will probably hang the canvas on the wall. (It's a box canvas, not going to be framed).

 

To address the issue that she rushed through it, I can help with that by providing a better place for her to work in the future. I can also give her the opportunity to compare the last picture to her first one, but in more of a general, noting the differences between two similar pictures. That way, she can self-evaluate her own job without criticism, and if she wants to do another one, she can. 

Edited March 23, 2017 by Aura

[Seasider]

I think there is only one thing to do with her picture: Thank her, and hang it up in your bathroom.

 

I speak from experience here. My son (12) is a talented artist, but he's still a child. Some days he's feelin' it, but some days he's not...if I want his genius to re-emerge on his timetable, I have to be encouraging on non-genius days, too.

 

I'll tell you one more thing that helps me be supportive on smear and splatter days: I couldn't do what he does, on the best art day of my life! I am not going to say "this is not your best" to someone who is operating on an entirely different plane, and who is still a child.

 

I agree that you should thank her and hang it as is. Maybe if it's where she sees it, the flaws will bother her and she will volunteer to redo it. Hiwever, that's entirely the artist's prerogative.

 

ETA if you want a different one, at the very least, it should be commissioned work. Let her know how much you will pay her for a piece of art that meets your specifications and approval. And of course pay for her supplies, which I assume you already do since she's 10.

Edited March 23, 2017 by Seasider

[ktgrok]

I can say that if you tell your 10 year old her artwork isn't good enough for the bathroom, you should never expect her to give you another piece of artwork. 

[Catwoman]

Yes, she was "kind" and "sweet" to make another picture. My point is not that I don't appreciate her work. I know that tone can be hard to convey in text, but I get the feeling that some seem to think that since I'm even questioning hanging it vs having her re-do it, I'm not appreciating what she's done. That's not what's going on.

 

It's not about being perfect. It's not about my having unrealistic expectations of a 10 year old. I am not being picky based on colors or design scheme. That's not what's going on.

 

This wasn't some labor intensive work. She spent maybe an hour on it, at most. There were sloppy mistakes. I KNOW she can, and has, done better. I also know she was distracted (too many little brothers around while she was working).

 

And, Catwoman, I am not judging her artistic merit. I am judging a rushed, sloppy job where I know my dd can do better...maybe you missed some key points in my first post. (Sorry if that sounds snarky.)

I think you missed a few key points, too. :)

 

It is about your expectations if you are judging her work as being rushed and sloppy.

 

I guess we will have to agree to disagree, but if your dd is happy with the way the painting turned out, apparently she doesn't view it as being rushed or sloppy, and that's all that should matter.

 

I'm glad you're going to hang it anyway. I'm sure your dd will be proud. :)

[MomatHWTK]

I think you've received some good advice from people who understand how to nurture a creative soul and some advice on how to crush that soul. I'm team nurture. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

These are unrealistic expectations for a ten-year-old child.

 

And "giving her an opportunity" to compare the two pieces, so she'll see the mistakes and pick up on the fact that the second one isn't good enough (without you actually having to say that), IS within the range of what a 10yo can do. In other words, she'll get it.

 

This isn't how to raise a child with a special talent. Not if you want her to be joyful and confident about her work, and not if you want the absolute privilege of being her #1 fan for a lifetime.

 

 

 

 

[myfunnybunch]

These are unrealistic expectations for a ten-year-old child.

 

And "giving her an opportunity" to compare the two pieces, so she'll see the mistakes and pick up on the fact that the second one isn't good enough (without you actually having to say that), IS within the range of what a 10yo can do. In other words, she'll get it.

 

This isn't how to raise a child with a special talent. Not if you want her to be joyful and confident about her work, and not if you want the absolute privilege of being her #1 fan for a lifetime.

 

This. A million times this.

 

It's really about how to give space to be creative and allow her to develop her own intrinsic self-editing skills without internalizing yours.

 

The point isn't whether the artwork was rushed or sloppy. It isn't whether it was her best work--that's your estimation, but it may be that given the time and circumstance, that's the best effort and attention she could give to a piece she'd already painted in a different time and place.

 

She tried something new: Recreating a piece she'd already made, and she's learned some of her own lessons about her technique and re-creating and what speaks to her as an artist. Hanging the painting honors those lessons, even if it didn't come out the way either of you pictured initially.

 

I am so glad you're carving out time and space for her to focus on her art. What a gift to a growing artist. :)

[lllll]

nm 

 

Edited March 27, 2017 by 1234

[Xahm]

I don't have big kids, so disregard this if it is dumb.

In this situation, I'd say "thank you so much for this painting. I know it can be really hard to paint with little brothers running around distracting you. As a reward for doing this, how about we get you some new supplies and set you up a brother-free artist station."

Set her up for success the next time instead of focusing on what may have gone wrong this time.

[38carrots]

Yes, she was "kind" and "sweet" to make another picture. My point is not that I don't appreciate her work. I know that tone can be hard to convey in text, but I get the feeling that some seem to think that since I'm even questioning hanging it vs having her re-do it, I'm not appreciating what she's done. That's not what's going on.

 

It's not about being perfect. It's not about my having unrealistic expectations of a 10 year old. I am not being picky based on colors or design scheme. That's not what's going on.

 

This wasn't some labor intensive work. She spent maybe an hour on it, at most. There were sloppy mistakes. I KNOW she can, and has, done better. I also know she was distracted (too many little brothers around while she was working). 

 

And, Catwoman, I am not judging her artistic merit. I am judging a rushed, sloppy job where I know my dd can do better...maybe you missed some key points in my first post. (Sorry if that sounds snarky.)

 

I think the issue here is exactly what a PP said: being an artist vs. doing commissioned work. And the maturity level to see art through objective eyes. She probably can't tell you yet what is great art and what is just pretty. This  understanding will change and evolve.

 

I have very artistic children, way more artistic than myself. At some point my then 7 year old painted something that I considered pretty awesome, and I made the mistake of asking her to paing something that I could frame (the original painting was on a non-standard size paper and I wanted to use a certain frame). So yes, a very similar scenario. With a rather identical result--she totally rushed though it. But she couldn't see how the rushed art was different from her other art. She was just happy to make something for me. It was still part of her that she put out there.

 

An hour on a painting is quite labour intensive at that age. You asked her to repeat a labour intensive simplistic painting--which was probably fun to do in class for the first time, but what fun is it to paint it again? I don't think it is fair to expect she put the same effort, heart, soul, into this. Plus, you are the one who is a perfectionist, and you failed to provide an environment in which she could have focused for an hour on her work.

 

The bottom line is, I don't think she sees the difference between the two paintings. She doesn't see her work as sloppy or rushed. She wanted to contribute to the home decor with her art, but obviously she wasn't inspired or patient enough to go through the same steps again. Personally, I wouldn't ask a child to reproduce their other work, unless they really wanted to.

[38carrots]

I will probably hang the canvas on the wall. (It's a box canvas, not going to be framed).

 

To address the issue that she rushed through it, I can help with that by providing a better place for her to work in the future. I can also give her the opportunity to compare the last picture to her first one, but in more of a general, noting the differences between two similar pictures. That way, she can self-evaluate her own job without criticism, and if she wants to do another one, she can. 

 

Aura, not all of us are artistic and creative. From everything you've said, you might not be a creative / artistic person, and this is why you struggle with this so much. Raising an artist is tough. Let her be nurtured in her art classes and try to see that what she is doing as art. What you want her to do is "crafts." Those are very different things, and one is not inherintly better than the other.

[Guest]

My DD is very artistic and I have had almost this exact scenario. What I did was leave it as is. At some point later, she will draw her own conclusion that she didn't do a remarkable job on the work at that time and may re-do it, or may just let it go. We have one of those Make-It Plates where you send in a drawing and they turn it into a malamine plate. She did a picture that could have been far better, but I think she was excited about the project and so she just rushed through it. We still have the plate and she laughs about it now. She knew it was not her best work, but oh well!

 

The thing is, everyone does things sometimes that is not their best work. Sometimes I burn the cookies. Sometimes I turn out to hate the paint color I chose for a room. Sometimes I do photos and later ask myself why I did such a poor job that day. You just have to carry on.

[Bluegoat]

To me this reads as an etiquette issue.  She's given you a gift - at your request - and so you should respond appropriatly.

[SKL]

My daughters are 10.  My approach would probably be to compliment them on what they did well and then invite a positive discussion about what could have been better.  I would probably kindly suggest (or let her suggest) treating this as a rough draft, and encourage her to do another one.  I do believe the most famous artists did rough drafts!  There is always room for improvement.  No shame in that.

 

Now if she did not want to do another one because she didn't care to have it hung up, then I would probably just abandon that idea and move on.

Edited March 24, 2017 by SKL

[regentrude]

Because I'm going for a specific design theme and colors in the bathroom. The point was not to simply display the artwork.

 

The original picture was a great design: very simplistic with minimal colors, but it needed a little tweaking, especially in the colors. DD and I talked about this. (She's as much into interior design as she is into painting.) She commented that the picture would be better "if" ...so I suggested getting the supplies and her making another one. She liked that idea, so we rolled with it.

 

If you want a specific piece of artwork that matches your colors, hire a professional artist, pay her, and then you can complain if it does not turn out as you wish. (Although most serious artists would cringe at having to match a "color scheme" so it goes with your towels. That's not Art.)

 

Doing this to your 10 year old child is a pretty good way to ensure that she will feel self conscious about her work and may not enjoy painting for you much longer.

What is your goal? To foster a good relationship with your daughter and encourage life long enjoyment of creativity, or to drill her to perfection?

Edited March 24, 2017 by regentrude