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If you *had* to return to work FT because of circumstances...


footballmom
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Can you please share your experience with me?  DH was laid off a few weeks ago and he is aggressively looking for a job. I've been working PT for several years.  It is hard to juggle with hs'ing - especially as the kids get older - but I love hs'ing them and bringing in some income has made this HCOL area manageable.  With DH out of work, and the insane cost of health insurance, it makes sense for me to look for a FT job since it took DH several months last time he was laid off.  What I do is pretty "in demand" and I have interviews lined up for next week.  I'm really struggling with this.  I know it's the "right thing" from a financial perspective but would be heartbroken to give up hs'ing.  

 

Sooo.....if you went back into the workforce FT because of circumstances, can you share your experience with me?  The good and the bad?  I think hearing from those that have done it could be helpful.  Thanks :)

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I am back to work full time after not working at all for 10 years.  It has been hard and it has been easy.  It feels like I never left, if that makes sense, but it also seems different.

 

I no longer HS though.  My kids have transitioned to school  very well and that has made it easier for me.

 

My husband works full time too but is able to work from home 3 days per week, which helps.

 

I don't cook as much. The boys chip in with that, or I pick up a bucket of chicken, or I put something in the Instant Pot.  The house is messier.....ok, just kidding, I am not that neat to begin with!  

 

But it is nice to have the income.  And it is nice to have money going towards retirement.  And it is nice to think of not having to stress so much about upcoming college expenses.

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We're in a similar situation.  My career is higher paying so back to work I went.  It's hard.  We decided at the time to sell our house and move near family.  We weren't tied to the area (other than we just built our dream house but there are other houses).  So the kids and I are staying with my parents until my husband sells our house and we get settled in this new area.  In the meantime, I work (found a good job in no time just because my profession is also in demand and I'd only been out for 4 years) and my mom has agreed to finish this school year out for the kids.  They'll start school in the fall.  I don't think my husband is up for homeschooling and needs to work anyway.  He'll look for a job when the house sells and he gets over here.  I still get very upset that we have to give up homeschooling.  I just hope they transition to school seamlessly and thrive.  It's the best I can hope for at this point.  But I know exactly how you're feeling.  The kids were pretty resilient.  They gave up friends and gymnastics teams and their new house and so much more.  But they keep on smiling.  The least I can do is smile, too, for them.

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Could you consider it a "season" and just resume homeschooling if/when money allows?

 

I can't really answer your question but I am weighing the pros/cons of working again myself. I have applied to a few jobs recently. If I get a job it would help us out financially (we only have one car and just spent $1000 on repairs eek), but then ds would basically be forced to attend the F rated public school because we're dissatisfied with the private and it's breaking the bank.

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Could you consider it a "season" and just resume homeschooling if/when money allows?

 

I can't really answer your question but I am weighing the pros/cons of working again myself. I have applied to a few jobs recently. If I get a job it would help us out financially (we only have one car and just spent $1000 on repairs eek), but then ds would basically be forced to attend the F rated public school because we're dissatisfied with the private and it's breaking the bank.

 

If you worked could you afford a move to a better district?  It might be better financially on the whole than working and paying for private or staying home and living where you are.

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If you worked could you afford a move to a better district?  It might be better financially on the whole than working and paying for private or staying home and living where you are.

 

Not unless I got a high enough paying job, which right now is not very realistic :( We've looked at the figures off and on. We live in campus housing which is way cheaper than anywhere else we could move. The jobs I applied to (according to salary.com) would not come close to the amount I'd need to make ends meet to warrant moving. Dh asked if ds would get permission to attend school where I work if I got accepted at one of the school jobs (non-certified roles. I even looked into getting certified but it'd require at least a year of a teaching internship), but even then I don't know. So far in my research the only way schools allow you to attend out of district is to pay a fee. We looked into that when we first moved here. I don't even think I could afford ds to attend the Catholic school even if I got a job and a discount there. They have my resumé on file from the last time I applied. None of these types of jobs would pay much. Sorry for the thread derail.

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Could you consider it a "season" and just resume homeschooling if/when money allows?

 

I can't really answer your question but I am weighing the pros/cons of working again myself. I have applied to a few jobs recently. If I get a job it would help us out financially (we only have one car and just spent $1000 on repairs eek), but then ds would basically be forced to attend the F rated public school because we're dissatisfied with the private and it's breaking the bank.

 

An F rated school would not have worked for us either.   That makes it very hard.

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Not unless I got a high enough paying job, which right now is not very realistic :( We've looked at the figures off and on. We live in campus housing which is way cheaper than anywhere else we could move. The jobs I applied to (according to salary.com) would not come close to the amount I'd need to make ends meet to warrant moving. Dh asked if ds would get permission to attend school where I work if I got accepted at one of the school jobs (non-certified roles. I even looked into getting certified but it'd require at least a year of a teaching internship), but even then I don't know. So far in my research the only way schools allow you to attend out of district is to pay a fee. We looked into that when we first moved here. I don't even think I could afford ds to attend the Catholic school even if I got a job and a discount there. They have my resumé on file from the last time I applied. None of these types of jobs would pay much. Sorry for the thread derail.

 

It may not be listed.  I can put my kids into the district I work, for free, but it isn't posted anywhere, it is just a deal for people working in the district.  

 

The other option is for me to pay $1600 per year (if I didn't work in the district) for my kids to go to that district from out of district, which is about $10,0000 less than the less expensive private school.

However, it would be difficult to get them into one of the top schools as they are capped (paying the fee, but I could probably do it working there.)

I hope you can figure something out.

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Not unless I got a high enough paying job, which right now is not very realistic :( We've looked at the figures off and on. We live in campus housing which is way cheaper than anywhere else we could move. The jobs I applied to (according to salary.com) would not come close to the amount I'd need to make ends meet to warrant moving. Dh asked if ds would get permission to attend school where I work if I got accepted at one of the school jobs (non-certified roles. I even looked into getting certified but it'd require at least a year of a teaching internship), but even then I don't know. So far in my research the only way schools allow you to attend out of district is to pay a fee. We looked into that when we first moved here. I don't even think I could afford ds to attend the Catholic school even if I got a job and a discount there. They have my resumé on file from the last time I applied. None of these types of jobs would pay much. Sorry for the thread derail.

 

Our very good, very strong, very desirable high school lets employees bring their kids for free.  I've never seen it advertised but it's known in the area.  It means they get to pick and choose from a lot of applicants because this school also has a number of tuition students every year, it's that popular.

 

Back to the OP.  :001_smile:

 

Four years ago I returned to work after 8 years of being home.  My husband had been laid off and was giving his own company a try.  It was not going very well and medical benefits was our biggest issue.  I was VERY lucky to get a good paying job with almost completely paid for medical.  For the first 6 months, my mother watched them but she wouldn't do school with them at all.  We did Time4Learning during that time and it went fine.   When my job was clearly going to work out, we hired a private teacher to work with the kids (legal in my state, might not be everywhere) while I was at work.  

 

It had it's good and it's bad points, and I quit my job to come back home last year.

 

If public school is not an option, and private school is too expensive your choice is to find a way to make homeschool continue to work.

 

I didn't see how old your kids are.  Are they old enough to be home alone?  Then I would look into an online school and make sure I'm checking it EVERY day to make sure they are on track.

 

Are they too young but you have family that can watch them?  Same thing if that family doesn't feel capable of teaching.

 

If the working is meant to be temporary until your dh finds a job, I wouldn't worry if he was "called".  I would tell him to step up and teach the kids while I worked.

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I went to work full time upon completion of law school. DH is still a grad student. Knowing I would be working (and I was the main homeschool "teacher") my last year of law school we started DD at B&M school. It was OK except for the idiot math teacher, so the following year (I was at that point working full time) we pulled DD and tried an online school. The idea was, DH would be there to supervise/help her most of the time because he was only in classes a couple of days a week. It wound up being more work than homeschooling ever was!

 

So between the amount of work the online school expected of parents, and the sucky IEP they worked up, we ditched that and went back to homeschooling DD, and this year she's attended an enrichment program three days a week. We are basically unschooling, except for math. DD's mental health has been our primary concern, over academics.

 

Anyway, with the enrichment program, we've made it work. I just recently got the go-ahead from my boss to go to a 4/10's schedule, so I'm now home 3 days a week. DS is in public K (and doing quite well there), so DD and I have undivided time on Fridays to focus on her learning (also I get to again schlep her to counseling appointments Psych NP appointments, the kids to the dentist...) and we can possibly participate in homeschool park days with a group we found that does them on Fridays.

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I would say a huge amount depends on your priorities and how strongly you feel about them. For some people, fully funding college is a huge priority, for others traveling, etc.

 

For us, me being at home and homeschooling is HUGE. Any other option would be a last resort.

 

We have made BIG decisions and sacrifices because of those priorities. My husband doesn't have a fancy job with a high salary that makes me staying home easy for us financially. We sold our house and downsized so I could stay home. My husband also went to his back up back up grad school instead of the top 10 program he got into bc he wanted me to be at home with our children.

 

I don't say those things to toot our horns by any means. Some might think it's foolish to make the decisions we have made (sacrificing vacations, a nicer home, more savings etc) so I can be home even on a modest income. For us, it's completely worth it and we wouldn't change it for anything.

 

So I'd say to talk as a couple about your highest priorities and go from there. Sometimes, even with being home and homeschooling being the ideal there's truly no choice, and I get that - families do need food and a safe home that is dry and warm.

 

I hope your hubby will find a job soon and that you will be on the same page and have clarity and peace about what to do! And I agree with PP that maybe you working would be for a short season!

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Yeah, I have thought about trying to remember it could just be a season.  I'm so anxious about everything - especially giving up my super flexible PT job because it has made hs'ing workable.  My oldest is 13 and youngest is 5.  Leaving them while I work in an office all day to then homeschool at night would not be fair, afterschooling probably wouldn't be realistic given the schedule we have with sports in the evenings.  Sigh...DH and I need to find a way to get on the same page and align our priorities.

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