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creekland
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ETA:  This is my new question (post #54)...

 

One more question as I'm planning my shopping date...

 

Should hubby and I be in the same color?  eg If he has a dark blue suit, should I be in blue?  

 

Or since middle son will be wearing black, should we all go for black?

 

My goal is to blend in and not stick out.

 

-----------------------------------------

This is previous info:

 

We've been invited to a college event that is business formal.  I hate dressing up, so normally I'd decline, BUT this is for my son... honoring him... so I'll bite the bullet.

 

I googled and came up with this site:

 

http://www.dummies.com/business/human-resources/workplace/a-womans-guide-to-business-formal-dress/

 

Do you agree with it or have other suggestions?  Or should I just find a fancy store and let them give ideas?

 

MY idea of dressing up is my good colored jeans and maybe a sweater... (sigh)

 

I know we're supposed to learn something new every day, but (grumble, grumble, grumble).

Edited by creekland
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I like this site more, because they actually have pictures!

 

https://www.kenan-flagler.unc.edu/admissions/master-of-accounting/~/media/DAD4E81591B94E2D831CB878D4A8B997.ashx

 

I'd probably go with a nice, darker colored skirt that I'm comfortable in, a solid colored blouse, and a dark blazer/jacket/sweater on top.  Low-healed pumps and nylons.

 

 

 

 

Edited by J-rap
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I'm plus sized, so that's what I know.

 

Here is a dress I have that I wear all kinds of ways:  http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vikki-vi-sleeveless-shift-dress-plus-size/4044196?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK

 

It is a bright, completely opaque black, a heavy-ish knit with no wool in it, drapes beautifully, goes with everything.

 

It's also washable. 

 

I wear it with a white or turquoise jacket for business formal attire, with black or nude nylons and black flats or pumps.

Or with a black jacket, a patterned silk scarf, and silver jewelry for business formal also.

I wear it with Fit Flops at the beach.

I wear it with a chiffon scarf for parties.

I wear it with red flats, no nylons, and a long, casual, lavender knit vest for business casual events.

 

It is utterly comfortable and never lets me down.

 

I recommend it--you will use it for years.

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We've been invited to a college event that is business formal.  I hate dressing up, so normally I'd decline, BUT this is for my son... honoring him... so I'll bite the bullet.

 

I googled and came up with this site:

 

http://www.dummies.com/business/human-resources/workplace/a-womans-guide-to-business-formal-dress/

 

Do you agree with it or have other suggestions?  Or should I just find a fancy store and let them give ideas?

 

MY idea of dressing up is my good colored jeans and maybe a sweater... (sigh)

 

I know we're supposed to learn something new every day, but (grumble, grumble, grumble).

 

 

I like this site more, because they actually have pictures!

 

https://www.kenan-flagler.unc.edu/admissions/master-of-accounting/~/media/DAD4E81591B94E2D831CB878D4A8B997.ashx

 

I'd probably go with a nice, darker colored skirt that I'm comfortable in, a solid colored blouse, and a dark blazer/jacket/sweater on top.  Low-healed pumps and nylons.

 

 

Both of these sites are great. Personally I would go with a pant suit. They are now completely acceptable formal business-wear for women.  

 

For other occasions, they can easily be dressed up (add a shiny blouse and slingback shoes) or down (wear with a t-shirt and casual scarf) and the slacks can be worn independently of the jacket. Skirt suits are less versatile to me. One day I hope women will be offered both slacks and a skirt as part of a suit in the same way that men often get two pairs of pants with a suit. 

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We've been invited to a college event that is business formal. I hate dressing up, so normally I'd decline, BUT this is for my son... honoring him... so I'll bite the bullet.

 

I googled and came up with this site:

 

http://www.dummies.com/business/human-resources/workplace/a-womans-guide-to-business-formal-dress/

 

Do you agree with it or have other suggestions? Or should I just find a fancy store and let them give ideas?

 

MY idea of dressing up is my good colored jeans and maybe a sweater... (sigh)

 

I know we're supposed to learn something new every day, but (grumble, grumble, grumble).

I do agree with those suggestions. If you really don't like dresses or skirts, I think a pantsuit is perfectly nice. I would go to Nordstrom, personally, because they do have helpful staff and you can have alterations done for free.

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Can you get a basic black dress that would work for pretty much any other occasions that might call for it? You'd be set for weddings and funerals, too. Or a black pantsuit if you are anti-dress.

 

I am thinking slacks and jacket.  My body has never been built well for dresses IMO.  The handful that actually look better (or even good) are more patterned (with a jacket or sweater), so don't fit the business formal dress code.

 

Eshakti

 

They're awesome, and not outrageous and totally customizable.

 

I looked at them and they look great - except I have no idea what I want and I absolutely must try something on to see what it looks like on "me."  I've had very few successes with clothing - or boots - or anything bought online.  If I could envision fashion better, it might work better, but I don't have an eye for it at all in the abstract.

 

I like this site more, because they actually have pictures!

 

https://www.kenan-flagler.unc.edu/admissions/master-of-accounting/~/media/DAD4E81591B94E2D831CB878D4A8B997.ashx

 

I'd probably go with a nice, darker colored skirt that I'm comfortable in, a solid colored blouse, and a dark blazer/jacket/sweater on top.  Low-healed pumps and nylons.

 

I like that site too!  Thanks.  Pictures help.  Now if only everyone weren't slim, trim, and tall in the pics...

 

Business casual to me equals dress, skirt and top, or slacks and top, but no jeans.  Skirt should be fairly neutral not too crazy.  Do you have a skirt you could pair with a top that you might wear out to dinner or something?

 

Business casual I can do and have done.  Business formal is what's new to me.  I've never been fond of formal - even back to my own high school and college days with dances.  I'm casual to the core.  Fortunately, in our rural lifestyle, formal is never needed... but with middle son graduating from college and getting awards... I'm the one who needs to bend.  I do want to be there to see it and not stick out like a sore thumb or clueless mama.

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Business casual I can do and have done.  Business formal is what's new to me. 

 

Business formal is what we used to just call business attire. The formal designation is there now to differentiate it from  the "business casual" dress code. Business casual allows for mismatched slacks and jacket (tan slacks and navy blazer, for example). Business formal requires a suit - matching slacks and jacket. Business casual allows for a nice knit shirt under your jacket, business formal requires a blouse. 

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Business casual I can do and have done.  Business formal is what's new to me.  I've never been fond of formal - even back to my own high school and college days with dances.  I'm casual to the core.  Fortunately, in our rural lifestyle, formal is never needed... but with middle son graduating from college and getting awards... I'm the one who needs to bend.  I do want to be there to see it and not stick out like a sore thumb or clueless mama.

 

I'm sorry I worded that wrong...  Business casual can be more khakis or nice jeans even.  I think slacks and a nice blouse will qualify just fine.

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I'm sorry I worded that wrong...  Business casual can be more khakis or nice jeans even.  I think slacks and a nice blouse will qualify just fine.

 

In my world, jeans are casual, not business casual. Business casual is khakis or other slacks, a blouse or nice sweater, jacket, etc., but no jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes, etc. 

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I'd go with the instructions and pictures on the second site describing business formal, then add some nice jewelry. I might go for a red or purple blouse to give it some flare.

 

I used to love wearing suits to work, but that was BK (before kids). I cried when we moved and I had to give up on the idea they'd ever fit again. I gave them to a thrift store that helped women find interview clothes. Sigh.

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Business formal is what we used to just call business attire. The formal designation is there now to differentiate it from  the "business casual" dress code. Business casual allows for mismatched slacks and jacket (tan slacks and navy blazer, for example). Business formal requires a suit - matching slacks and jacket. Business casual allows for a nice knit shirt under your jacket, business formal requires a blouse. 

 

Thanks!  That makes sense and seems quite do-able.  I suspect I'll need to travel to a larger city to find a suitable store (Nordstrom sounds popular, so I'll look for one).  

 

Here where I live, very, very few people wear business attire - esp since studies came out long ago (we studied some of them when I was in college!) showing rural"ish" people don't trust someone wearing a suit.  Hubby, an engineer, never wears a suit - even when going to official meetings.  It's very business casual or casual pending on the meeting. He wore a suit on his very first day of work (when he worked for a company) and his first instructions were to drop the suit (and tie).  We had to buy one for him when oldest got married 3 1/2 years ago and I don't think he's worn it since.  I hope it still fits.

 

Ditto that with school where I work, etc. - very business casual and Fridays are 100% casual (jeans and often college or sports t-shirts).

 

Since I'm a casual person, it's one thing I like about where I live - and look forward to when we head to an island in the future (since islands seem to be even more casual than here).

 

I have exactly one month to find and purchase something...  I should be able to do it in that amount of time.

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I think you need to dress appropriately to the occasion, but not try to be the centre of attention. So, a nice suit jacket with skirt or slacks would be great. Wear nice shoes, too. Go to an upscale consignment store to get them, if they're not already hiding in the back of your closet.

Edited by wintermom
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Go to an upscale consignment store to get them, if they're not already hiding in the back of your closet.

 

They're definitely not in my closet as I've never needed such clothes before in my life and there's no such thing as an upscale consignment store near me.  Chances are, no consignment store would have my size anyway.

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They're definitely not in my closet as I've never needed such clothes before in my life and there's no such thing as an upscale consignment store near me.  Chances are, no consignment store would have my size anyway.

 

Take a chance and just go look. Start with shoes and work your way up. Find a pair of shoes you really like, and work an outfit around it. Then you can keep wearing the shoes, and keep the outfit in your closet for other similar occasions.

 

Shoes shopping is a lot less intimidating than clothes shopping. You don't have to undress, you don't have to feel self-conscious. 

Edited by wintermom
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There is no Nordstrom within an hour and a half of us.  Are there other names folks would recommend?  Perhaps around Harrisburg, York, or Lancaster PA?

Nordstrom has free returns, so don't be dissuaded from ordering online! I've ordered 8 dresses before, chosen one, and sent the rest back. It's wonderful! You can even choose a suit you like and order 3 sizes if you need to. Their returns are easy peasy!

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There is no Nordstrom within an hour and a half of us.  Are there other names folks would recommend?  Perhaps around Harrisburg, York, or Lancaster PA?

If you can't find any good local stores to shop at, Nordstrom does have free shipping and free return shipping, so you could order multiple items/sizes to try on at home.

If you shop for your body type and pick nice fabrics you should look great!

For business wear I like Theory wool sheath dresses, and also silk blouses w/ a pencil skirt or pants.

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Try Talbots - there's one in Lancaster according to their website. Call ahead and ask if they carry suits in the store, not all do.

 

Are there any Macy's stores within driving distance? Their salespeople aren't quite as helpful, but they will probably have what you are looking for.

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Do you have nice black slacks and a nice black cardigan? Throw a dressy blouse underneath and you're fine IMO. You're going as the parent of an honoree. They won't expect all guests to have fancy $$$ business suits. They just don't want jeans and khakis.

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Take a chance and just go look. Start with shoes and work your way up. Find a pair of shoes you really like, and work an outfit around it. Then you can keep wearing the shoes, and keep the outfit in your closet for other similar occasions.

 

Shoes shopping is a lot less intimidating than clothes shopping. You don't have to undress, you don't have to feel self-conscious. 

 

I trust you mean taking a chance and going to look in a store of some sort.  If you mean my house, do I start with my hiking boots, tennis shoes, keens, or the three pairs of shoes I wear to school/church (none of which would match any of the pics from the websites)?   :lol:

 

I'm very seriously not a "clothing" or "shoes" person - which is why I will need to go to a store, look like the helpless pup I am, and hope a saleslady can assist.

 

 

Do you have nice black slacks and a nice black cardigan? Throw a dressy blouse underneath and you're fine IMO. You're going as the parent of an honoree. They won't expect all guests to have fancy $$$ business suits. They just don't want jeans and khakis.

 

No to the nice black slacks and black cardigan.  No to the dressy blouse.  Yes to the jeans, including black and other colored jeans, and khakis... ;)  I also have a workout type sweater jacket and a cheap black cardigan that's pretty old now.  Those work for places I go regularly.  I can handle business casual since that's what school and church are for me.

 

Seriously... back in my college and AF days I LIKED that we wore uniforms.  It made choosing clothes super easy.   :lol:

 

My ponies don't care what I wear either.  My family has gotten used to who I am - as have the kids at school.  I dressed up twice in the past 10 years - once for a funeral and once for my son's wedding.  There were tons of fun remarks and I told everyone to "take pics now!"  (Neither dress will work for this situation - esp since I've lost weight, but they also don't match any of the pics.)

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You know, that LBD I posted is a forgiving one, size wise.  It doesn't have a defined waist, so you can lose or gain weight and it will just lengthen or shorten a bit.  But, it doesn't look like a sack because it drapes so well.  It's really quite versatile.

 

It might be nice to have something like that for weddings and funerals.  I personally don't wear black to weddings, but that has become extremely common; and with a white background long floral print scarf, that dress would look positively cheerful.  All by itself it would be fine for funerals and for any evening event.  (I personally only wear black to family funerals, I know I'm old-fashioned in that; but most people wear black to all funerals now.  If I were wearing that dress to a funeral, I would put a sober dark but not black jacket over it.  Or I would wear it with a somber scarf.)  

 

IOW, I think that if you invested in something like that, you'd find a bunch of uses for it over the years.

 

For shoes, I would suggest these--they are very cushy and have wide toeboxes but are also nice looking enough for typical occasions.  http://www.earthbrands.com/item/earthies-shoes-tolo-womens-ballet-flat/42949

 

But I think it's best to find your own shoes that are comfortable.  Basically, you want dead black leather, for most versatility, and flats if you don't normally wear heels, so that they will be comfortable.  Having the dead black leather makes flats seem more polished.  You can also go with black patent leather, but it doesn't stretch like regular leather does, so you have to make double sure that it's very comfortable before you take it home.

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There is no Nordstrom within an hour and a half of us.  Are there other names folks would recommend?  Perhaps around Harrisburg, York, or Lancaster PA?

 

My parents live in Chamberburg and my mom likes shopping at Bon-Ton.  Based on the other places you suggested that should be pretty close.

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I trust you mean taking a chance and going to look in a store of some sort.  If you mean my house, do I start with my hiking boots, tennis shoes, keens, or the three pairs of shoes I wear to school/church (none of which would match any of the pics from the websites)?   :lol:

 

I'm very seriously not a "clothing" or "shoes" person - which is why I will need to go to a store, look like the helpless pup I am, and hope a saleslady can assist.

 

 

Sounds like a perfect plan. Just have a budget range in mind, perhaps using this an investment opportunity. I'd probably try to get something classic that will be waiting for you in the closet in 5 years that you can just pull out and go to your next event. 

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You know, that LBD I posted is a forgiving one, size wise.  It doesn't have a defined waist, so you can lose or gain weight and it will just lengthen or shorten a bit.  But, it doesn't look like a sack because it drapes so well.  It's really quite versatile.

 

It might be nice to have something like that for weddings and funerals.  I personally don't wear black to weddings, but that has become extremely common; and with a white background long floral print scarf, that dress would look positively cheerful.  All by itself it would be fine for funerals and for any evening event.  (I personally only wear black to family funerals, I know I'm old-fashioned in that; but most people wear black to all funerals now.  If I were wearing that dress to a funeral, I would put a sober dark but not black jacket over it.  Or I would wear it with a somber scarf.)  

 

IOW, I think that if you invested in something like that, you'd find a bunch of uses for it over the years.

 

For shoes, I would suggest these--they are very cushy and have wide toeboxes but are also nice looking enough for typical occasions.  http://www.earthbrands.com/item/earthies-shoes-tolo-womens-ballet-flat/42949

 

But I think it's best to find your own shoes that are comfortable.  Basically, you want dead black leather, for most versatility, and flats if you don't normally wear heels, so that they will be comfortable.  Having the dead black leather makes flats seem more polished.  You can also go with black patent leather, but it doesn't stretch like regular leather does, so you have to make double sure that it's very comfortable before you take it home.

 

Since pant suits are an option and the event is in the north in April, chances of my choosing a skirt or dress are pretty slim at this point.  I've seriously never liked dresses since my super young youth when I HAD to wear them to church.

 

Those shoes look like possibilities though... and definitely flats or close to it.  I have similar love for heels as dresses.  I'll look for leather.  Thanks!

 

My parents live in Chamberburg and my mom likes shopping at Bon-Ton.  Based on the other places you suggested that should be pretty close.

 

Bon Ton will be easy to look at - though I expect I'll have more options if I still head toward one of the larger cities than my closest one.  (Still Bon Ton.)  Over the years I've noticed even Sears and Penneys carry different options rural than they do closer to cities.  I can't blame them at all.  Carry what sells locally!  When middle son needed nice suits we went to Jos A Banks up toward Harrisburg.  

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Towson Town Center has a Nordstrom. But Nordstrom is $$$$$.

 

I'd just go to Dress Barn at the Gettysburg outlets. Since I know how you look and your style, I think you'll be able to find pants there and some sort of dressy blouse and a jacket or sweater. I think you'd hate wearing a dress, but pants and a nice top would be good for you. Before I even finished your post and saw that it was you posting about dressy clothes, I could immediately picture you in soft, black, loose pants and some sort of button down or simple pullover shirt with a jacket or some sort of sweatery thing overtop.

 

Then you'll have to figure out shoes. I think shoes are harder to buy, but you'll need to wait for your outfit to be picked, then find the shoes.

 

To save money, you can try Payless or Walmart or Target first for shoes (all in Hanover.) If those don't work, then head back to the outlets. If this was an outfit you'd wear all the time, you'd want to spend more, but since you'll probably never wear it or the shoes again, just get something new at Dress Barn and Payless and call it a day.

 

Do you want me to come with you?

Edited by Garga
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I would look for black slacks, a nice white or cream blouse, black shoes with just a small heel and a necklace to dress it up a bit. A suit is typical for business formal, but it's not worth the investment if you will never need it again. You should be able to find slacks and a blouse at any department store. Also remember to buy or borrow a decent handbag if you will need one. Many stores will even let you phone ahead, say "I need slacks and a blouse for a formal occasion, size 12, $150 budget" and they will pull options before you even get there.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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Towson Town Center has a Nordstrom. But Nordstrom is $$$$$.

 

I'd just go to Dress Barn at the Gettysburg outlets. Since I know how you look and your style, I think you'll be able to find pants there and some sort of dressy blouse and a jacket or sweater. I think you'd hate wearing a dress, but pants and a nice top would be good for you. Before I even finished your post and saw that it was you posting about dressy clothes, I could immediately picture you in soft, black, loose pants and some sort of button down or simple pullover shirt with a jacket or some sort of sweatery thing overtop.

 

Then you'll have to figure out shoes. I think shoes are harder to buy, but you'll need to wait for your outfit to be picked, then find the shoes.

 

To save money, you can try Payless or Walmart or Target first for shoes (all in Hanover.) If those don't work, then head back to the outlets. If this was an outfit you'd wear all the time, you'd want to spend more, but since you'll probably never wear it or the shoes again, just get something new at Dress Barn and Payless and call it a day.

 

Do you want me to come with you?

 

I was wondering if Dress Barn would work.  It's where I've gotten my other dressier clothes in the past.  Christopher Banks is another thought, but I mainly buy school clothes there.  I'm not sure if they go "up" to business formal as I've never looked for that.

 

It would be nice if the shoes could do double duty for church or school later.  Time will tell on that I suppose.

 

Coming with me is attractive... ;)  I'll probably be shopping in April.  I have to see what my mom's (health) schedule is - and we have an earlier event at kiddo's college (nothing special in clothes needed!).  Youngest is home from college next week and I don't plan to drag him shopping - or spend time away from him if he's home.  So... shopping will probably be closer to April 10th - 15th.

 

 

I would look for black slacks, a nice white or cream blouse, black shoes with just a small heel and a necklace to dress it up a bit. A suit is typical for business formal, but it's not worth the investment if you will never need it again. You should be able to find slacks and a blouse at any department store. Also remember to buy or borrow a decent handbag if you will need one. Many stores will even let you phone ahead, say "I need slacks and a blouse for a formal occasion, size 12, $150 budget" and they will pull options before you even get there.

 

Glad you mentioned the handbag!  I hadn't even thought about that (sigh).  I wonder if I can find something that would work at a thrift shop.  Or I wonder about checking with a neighbor to see if she has anything.

 

I have no real idea what size to start with.  Am I the only one who changes sizes based upon manufacturer of the clothing or shoes?  I envy guys where sizes are more standard.

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Towson has a Nordstrom. I will go with you!

 

I saw that as it came up as the closest one.  I think I might look semi-locally first though - just in case they have what I want.

 

I can be ready to go on a trip in 30 minutes or so, but traveling a little over an hour and a half one way for shopping seems to be an incredible chore.  

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I don't know what stores you have around you. I'd probably consider stores like New York & Company. Even Sears if they're around. I bought slacks and jacket separately (same brand, but not sold as a set). That was many moons ago, though. I no longer fit in my jacket. If I couldn't find a dress jacket and it was chilly I'd wear my black cardigan or black peacoat, but I know that would probably not look as good as a jacket.

 

I'd do my best but assume I wouldn't see most of those people again so try not to overthink it lol

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I'd do my best but assume I wouldn't see most of those people again so try not to overthink it lol

 

I'm assuming they'll be looking at my lad.

 

Or put another way, I want them looking at my lad - thus - wanting to be dressed appropriately to not draw attention and being the subject of whispers - or "look at this crazy lady FB posts."   :lol:

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Ugh, my casual girl had to go to a college interview weekend that called for business formal. Banana Republic saved the day. If you have a BR outlet store near you, the prices can be quite good. She got a dress and a jacket, paired with some low heeled Rieker closed toe shoes that we ordered online.

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I saw that as it came up as the closest one. I think I might look semi-locally first though - just in case they have what I want.

 

I can be ready to go on a trip in 30 minutes or so, but traveling a little over an hour and a half one way for shopping seems to be an incredible chore.

The new Trader Joe's just opened last week, not too far from Towsontown. And, there is a Teavana to stop by as well.

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The only fashion advice I could provide is don't dress like I do. <---- Truth!

 

I just wanted to say congrats to your son. You must be so proud of him - and of all your children. How wonderful he is being honored. 

 

:hurray:

 

Definitely!  (and my others too)  It's extra nice seeing him get (win) awards after the snafu that happened to him with med school applications this past year.  It helps his mind tremendously as it would for any of us - he's human.

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Definitely!  (and my others too)  It's extra nice seeing him get (win) awards after the snafu that happened to him with med school applications this past year.  It helps his mind tremendously as it would for any of us - he's human.

 

 

Well, that's even sweeter! I didn't see anything on that. I'd ask you about it, but now is time for happiness, so I won't. 

 

Let us know what you end up wearing. I am trying to shed a few lbs so I don't waddle through my dc's graduations this year. 

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Well, that's even sweeter! I didn't see anything on that. I'd ask you about it, but now is time for happiness, so I won't. 

 

Let us know what you end up wearing. I am trying to shed a few lbs so I don't waddle through my dc's graduations this year. 

 

I think it's somewhere on the 2017 acceptances thread...

 

"I" actually don't mind having him (home) for another year (being totally selfish)... but I definitely feel for him and feel frustrated at the advisers his school provided.   :glare:   He's found some good allies out of it all from friends and doctors he's shadowed, etc, so not all is bad.  It's just super, super annoying.

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Target has some reasonably priced and reasonably attractive business-y options. Do you want specific links for things to try? If so, what size and body type?

 

Not really looking for specifics.  What was most helpful were the directions of what to look for - including the link with pics.  I have those images in mind when looking at options, then will try them on to see what I think.  Then I want someone knowledgeable (perhaps Garga, perhaps a saleslady) telling me (honestly) what they think.

 

That oughta do.  I'll admit I wish there were a place to rent an outfit as I have my doubts as to whether I'll wear this again or not.

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