If you understand teens, help me out here...

[SparklyUnicorn]

My 15 year old refuses to let me take him shopping to buy new jeans.  His jeans don't fit.  He doesn't agree and outright refuses.  I try to make shopping as quick and painless as possible.  Like if he found one pair that fit, I'll buy him several of the same so he wouldn't have to keep trying stuff on.  Nope, that's not good enough.  I order many of his clothes on-line, but with pants that is just getting too difficult.  I have no clue what size.

 

I suppose I might have to get nasty about it.  I prefer not to, but geesh I don't understand this aversion to buying new clothing. 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 19, 2017 by SparklyUnicorn

[J-rap]

They don't fit, as in too short, or they hang down lower than they should from the waist?

 

It sounds like he likes them as is? 

[TeenagerMom]

I have one of those also. The current argument is about how highwater his athletic pants are and how he refuses to give up those few pairs for new pairs that will fit right.

 

For mine, he absolutely detests shopping.  It is made even worse by the fact that he's a difficult fit because he has braces that have to go under his pants. 

 

I have resorted to buying cheap clothes 2nd hand off the Facebook yard sale sites in approximate sizes and forcing him to try them on once I have them at home.  What doesn't fit gets handed down to younger cousins. I try to keep it around paying $5-10 for a pair of pants so I don't cry if they don't fit and I gotta just give them away (for some reason, it seems like I can't resell them when I try).

 

A pair of jeans retail that he likes are usually around $40ish so I figure if I spend $10-20 buying a couple of pairs to find one that fits, I still get out cheaper.

[Guest]

Give him some cash and drop him off at the store to find his own pants. Pick him up when he's done.

[Guest]

Also, if he thinks they still fit, then let it be. There's no winning that argument. Eventually he'll decide on his own that it's time for new ones.

[Soror]

My strategy is to find jeans he likes and just keep buying the next size up! Otherwise on his athletic pants, which he wears 90% of the time, I go to Goodwill and pick out ones i think will fit and he will like and hope for the best. Then I force him to try them on and take away his 6 in too short pants so people don't think we are in the poor house.

[Shelly in IL]

Good luck. I could only wish for that prob. Both of my boys are clothes horses!

[Catwoman]

Give him some cash and drop him off at the store to find his own pants. Pick him up when he's done.

That wouldn't have worked with my ds at that age. It would have been a complete waste of time. He'd have come back out of the store with all the cash and no pants.

 

At least I know he wouldn't have spent the money on anything else, which is a good thing I guess. :)

Edited March 19, 2017 by Catwoman

[SparklyUnicorn]

They don't fit, as in too short, or they hang down lower than they should from the waist?

 

It sounds like he likes them as is? 

 

both....too short...and ridiculously tight

 

I don't care about the too short part too much because it's not that bad, but the zipper barely stays zipped.  They seriously look really really bad. 

 

I'm not at all particular.  Honest!

[Catwoman]

I 'm thinking that this isn't about the jeans with him. It's more that he doesn't want to be treated like a little boy, and is ready to express himself and take over this responsibility. That means that you'd be wise to back off and let him wear I'll-fitting jeans if he wants to.

 

Do not force him to go shopping with you, nor wear the pants you want. Give him the $ and drop him off at the store to pick out the pair and purchase them by himself. Or, take an inseam/waist measurement and let him order online.

 

Now is the time to transition him to the adult responsibility of buying his own clothes. By 15, mine had to pay half of the $ for socks and underware. By 18, they were responsible 100% for their own clothes. Make sure that he knows about thrift stores, too.

 

I found that it goes really well with teens to give more responsibility every time more freedom is given. So make sure that he is now doing his own laundry.

I doubt it's a responsibility thing. It sounds like the kid just doesn't like shopping for pants.

 

My ds is 17 and I can't imagine making him pay for his own clothes. We pay for everything. My ds is still a sensible shopper, even with my money.

 

My ds doesn't have to do laundry, either. :) My dh and I never had to do our own laundry or other chores when we were growing up, and it didn't seem to hurt us, so that's how we're raising our son.

Edited March 19, 2017 by Catwoman

[SparklyUnicorn]

I 'm thinking that this isn't about the jeans with him. It's more that he doesn't want to be treated like a little boy, and is ready to express himself and take over this responsibility. That means that you'd be wise to back off and let him wear I'll-fitting jeans if he wants to.

 

Do not force him to go shopping with you, nor wear the pants you want. Give him the $ and drop him off at the store to pick out the pair and purchase them by himself. Or, take an inseam/waist measurement and let him order online.

 

Now is the time to transition him to the adult responsibility of buying his own clothes. By 15, mine had to pay half of the $ for socks and underware. By 18, they were responsible 100% for their own clothes. Make sure that he knows about thrift stores, too.

 

I found that it goes really well with teens to give more responsibility every time more freedom is given. So make sure that he is now doing his own laundry.

 

Oh I don't care if I go with him.  That would be absolutely fine by me.  He refuses to even let me drop him off.

 

I do not treat him like a little boy.  I might have to if he doesn't stop being so ridiculous, but no I do not do that at all.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I doubt it's a responsibility thing. It sounds like the kid just doesn't like shopping for pants.

 

My ds is 17 and I can't imagine making him pay for his own clothes. We pay for everything. My ds is still a sensible shopper, even with my money.

 

Same here.  I think he hates shopping. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

My strategy is to find jeans he likes and just keep buying the next size up! Otherwise on his athletic pants, which he wears 90% of the time, I go to Goodwill and pick out ones i think will fit and he will like and hope for the best. Then I force him to try them on and take away his 6 in too short pants so people don't think we are in the poor house.

 

Yeah that's the problem.  I can't really do that because the pants he has now I bought in the boy's department.  He is ready to move on from that, but he is on the small side for the men's department.  So his size is tricky. 

 

Maybe I could convince him to do this.  Find a brand he likes and then I could just buy the size up.

[SparklyUnicorn]

That wouldn't have worked with my ds at that age. It would have been a complete waste of time. He'd have come back out of the store with all the cash and no pants.

 

At least I know he wouldn't have spent the money on anything else, which is a good thing I guess. :)

 

 

LOL

 

I think my kid would eat Chinese at the food court and then come home empty handed.  :lol:

[SparklyUnicorn]

Also, if he thinks they still fit, then let it be. There's no winning that argument. Eventually he'll decide on his own that it's time for new ones.

 

Yeah he doesn't have anyone to make fun of him.  LOL

 

I think that's what it is.  Seriously....

 

I think he looks ridiculous.  Even my husband, who is about as non into fashion and clothing as it gets, is starting to comment. 

[Catwoman]

LOL

 

I think my kid would eat Chinese at the food court and then come home empty handed. :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[MomatHWTK]

You could always buy a selection of sizes and then return the ones that don't fit. I just buy and hope for the best with my Aspie. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

You could always buy a selection of sizes and then return the ones that don't fit. I just buy and hope for the best with my Aspie. 

 

I have no clue whatsoever how to do that.  For one thing I don't understand men's clothing sizes.  Now you'd think..so ask DH.  He grew up in another country.  Since he has been here he found one brand, one size, and he just keeps buying (or I keep buying) the same and that is all he wears.  So he has no understanding about the sizing either.

[zoobie]

Will he let you measure him? If you can get his waist and inseam, we can help you shop.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ugh..I guess there is nothing magical. 

 

Maybe I should ask one of his teachers to comment on his pants.  :lol:

[SparklyUnicorn]

Will he let you measure him? If you can get his waist and inseam, we can help you shop.

 

Ok..that's a good idea.  Now I have to figure out how to measure.

[Catwoman]

I have no clue whatsoever how to do that. For one thing I don't understand men's clothing sizes. Now you'd think..so ask DH. He grew up in another country. Since he has been here he found one brand, one size, and he just keeps buying (or I keep buying) the same and that is all he wears. So he has no understanding about the sizing either.

Measure his waist and his inseam and then go to the store and pick out pants in that size as well as a size larger in the waist. If the fabric might shrink, make sure you get a long-enough length.

 

You could even bring a pair of his current pants to the store with you and hold them up against the smallest men's size pants and pick a few pair that are a little bit bigger and longer.

 

Also remember that relaxed fit will be fuller in the legs and classic or slim-cut will be for skinnier legs and smaller butt.

[Catwoman]

Will he let you measure him? If you can get his waist and inseam, we can help you shop.

You were posting while I was typing the same idea. :)

 

You beat me to it!

[Jan in SC]

What size and brand of pants are too small? One of us can probably recommend the next size up in adults/young men pants/jeans. 

 

Has he seen a picture of himself in the pants? I don't mean a - holy crap look at yourself- picture, but rather a look at this sweet picture of you and your dad. My ds finally agreed to a haircut after he saw himself in a picture with his friends.

[TeenagerMom]

Another tactic I have used is to not tell DS we are going shopping.  Plan another outing and build in time to go shop.  Then just pull up at the mall, etc and say we're gonna run by here real quick and try on some jeans.

 

If he doesn't cooperate, then the other outing doesn't happen.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Measure his waist and his inseam and then go to the store and pick out pants in that size as well as a size larger in the waist. If the fabric might shrink, make sure you get a long-enough length.

 

You could even bring a pair of his current pants to the store with you and hold them up against the smallest men's size pants and pick a few pair that are a little bit bigger and longer.

 

Also remember that relaxed fit will be fuller in the legs and classic or slim-cut will be for skinnier legs and smaller butt.

 

Oh I will have the opposite problem.  Finding jeans that are short enough.

 

See this is tricky.  He is very picky about styles.  He hates anything too baggy....anything too tight....pockets have to be just so.

 

That's why it's so much easier if he'd just freaking go to the store. 

 

I'll probably have to have them hemmed (or hem them myself).  So probably if I can figure out waist I could manage with that. 

[zoobie]

Ok..that's a good idea. Now I have to figure out how to measure.

For inseam, I'd have him put on the floods and measure how much longer they need to be. Then you can measure from the crotch to the hem of the pants when he's not wearing them. Add an inch if they're so tight they're all up in his bizness.

 

Waist just measure around where he likes his pants to sit at the waist. An actual measuring tape works best. You can get one for $1-2 at Walmart or a fabric store.

Edited March 19, 2017 by zoobie

[Guest]

I'd ghost his pants. You know what someone with no pants has to do?

 

....Go get new pants.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd ghost his pants. You know what someone with no pants has to do?

 

....Go get new pants.

 

I don't know what that means.

[SparklyUnicorn]

For inseam, I'd have him put on the floods and measure how much longer they need to be. Then you can measure from the crotch to the hem of the pants when he's not wearing them. Add an inch if they're so tight they're all up in his bizness.

 

Waist just measure around where he likes his pants to sit at the waist. An actual measuring tape works best. You can get one for $1-2 at Walmart or a fabric store.

 

I have one.  I'm going to go do this right now.

[TeenagerMom]

I don't know what that means.

 

Make his pants disappear

[Melissa in Australia]

Smile.

I have found my teens just like that. To them clothes were just rags that were handily carried around for whatever. If they ripped their jeans climbing through a barb wire fence then they would sew it up with whatever thread colour they saw first. If they needed a bandaid then they would just rip a bit of cloth off their top.

 

Ds21 was the absolute worst. Then a few months ago he met a girl. He came and visited me last weekend. He had on NEW jeans with no rips or ghastly coloured thread with poor sewing.A NEW intact top, and can you believe it SHOES instead of boots.

 

So my advice is it may get worse before it gets better. Sometimes a boy needs a reason to look tidy and the reason isn't mum.

[Lady Marmalade]

Yeah that's the problem.  I can't really do that because the pants he has now I bought in the boy's department.  He is ready to move on from that, but he is on the small side for the men's department.  So his size is tricky. 

 

Maybe I could convince him to do this.  Find a brand he likes and then I could just buy the size up.

 

:ohmy:  Wow!  We've been shopping in the men's department for my DS since he was 11.  

 

Agreeing with the others.  Measure, then go online and order by size.  Men's sizing is usually waist x inseam.  When in doubt with the waist, go a size up and get a belt.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Make his pants disappear

 

Ah

 

Well, he'd be perfectly happy to not leave the house so that definitely will not work.

 

And hargs...he won't let me measure him.

 

DH said...if he wants to waddle around like a penguin so be it.  Ok...so be it.

 

:glare:

[SparklyUnicorn]

:ohmy:  Wow!  We've been shopping in the men's department for my DS since he was 11.  

 

Agreeing with the others.  Measure, then go online and order by size.  Men's sizing is usually waist x inseam.  When in doubt with the waist, go a size up and get a belt.

 

Well at least he surpassed his midget mother in height, but yeah he wasn't blessed in the size department.

[happi duck]

If he won't cooperate with being measured you could measure his current jeans...Around the waistband and along the inseam (I think this is crotch to bottom of leg).

 

Do have places like Super Target? Might he agree to somewhere like that?

 

Lastly, I think my son went from boys 18 that were a little short but still fit in the waist to 29/32, that's 29 inch waist/32 inch inseam.

 

If boys 18 is too tight but the right length then maybe try 32/30. (odd number measurements are often hard to find)

 

Good luck!

[Catwoman]

I'd ghost his pants. You know what someone with no pants has to do?

....Go get new pants.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Or he will decide to live out the rest of his days in pajamas....

[SparklyUnicorn]

If he won't cooperate with being measured you could measure his current jeans...Around the waistband and along the inseam (I think this is crotch to bottom of leg).

 

Do have places like Super Target? Might he agree to somewhere like that?

 

Lastly, I think my son went from boys 18 that were a little short but still fit in the waist to 29/32, that's 29 inch waist/32 inch inseam.

 

If boys 18 is too tight but the right length then maybe try 32/30. (odd number measurements are often hard to find)

 

Good luck!

 

He is very short and stocky.  So that size won't fit for sure. 

 

I probably won't find his length and have to hem them.  So the bigger thing is to find the waist.  If I tried to measure the current ones I wouldn't even know how much to add on.  That's how darn tight they are. 

 

But he won't go for it so... 

[SparklyUnicorn]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Or he will decide to live out the rest of his days in pajamas....

 

Yeah I can imagine how this would go down.  He'd just say well then I'm not ever leaving the house.  Yay...thanks Mom...you are the best.  Now I can live out my dream.  

 

:lol: :lol:

[maize]

Measure the pants or just take them with you to the store and look in the men's department for a pair a bit bigger.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Measure the pants or just take them with you to the store and look in the men's department for a pair a bit bigger.

 

There would be no such thing.  Trust me.

 

I really was hoping to find a place that could do alterations.  My dad gets his pants at an Army and Navy type store because they have odd sizes and do alterations.

[freesia]

Also, if he thinks they still fit, then let it be. There's no winning that argument. Eventually he'll decide on his own that it's time for new ones.

 

When my brother was like this, my mom and I would buy him nice clothes that fit.  They wouldn't get worn. Eventually, he met a girl, who he liked, who said she wouldn't be seen out with him with the too short tops and jeans.  Lo and behold, he started shopping and wearing the clothes we got him.  He married her.

[Bootsie]

My ds detests trying on clothes in store dressing rooms.  He will avoid buying clothes he needs instead of doing this.  

 

I detest buying things and returning them, but that has helped solve the problem.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I have no advice, only sympathy. I have a sensory-sensitive kid who breaks down crying from the overwhelm that trying on clothes engenders. You should have seen prom dress shopping two years ago!

 

I buy online and return, over and over. I don't know how she's ever going to shop for herself. People keep telling me it will happen. I'm not sure I believe it!

[zoobie]

Can you sew at all? Hemming jeans is really simple. There are lots of online tutorials and videos on how to keep the original hem. I've done that with jeans and khakis because I keep waiting for DS11 to have a growth spurt and all his pants to be capris. He hates shopping too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Can you sew at all? Hemming jeans is really simple. There are lots of online tutorials and videos on how to keep the original hem. I've done that with jeans and khakis because I keep waiting for DS11 to have a growth spurt and all his pants to be capris. He hates shopping too.

 

I know how to do it.

 

Frankly, I don't want to.  I am so tired of doing it.

 

I have hemmed a lot of jeans in my day.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I just discovered they have companies that make jeans for short men.

 

So now I have to drug him so I can measure him.....

 

 

[zoobie]

I bought these and cut the elastic off the bottom. They're really comfy! http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=716920002&cvosrc=cse.Google.PLA&cvo_crid=183006677219&Matchtype=&campaigntype=PLA&CAWELAID=120299900000088557&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=41902480482&CATCI=pla-64640746511&cvosrc=cse.google.PLA_Brand&cvo_campaign=764841546&cvo_adgroup=41902480482&cvo_crid=183006677219&Matchtype=&tid=onpl000000&kwid=1&ap=7&gclid=COrO8Zip49ICFYE9gQod7fgPSQ

 

Holy link Batman

[Hilltopmom]

Sweatpants. (Athletic pants)

They only come in s,m,l, etc

 

Target has different length Champion ones to help with the short & stocky issue. (Try mens medium in their shorter length to start)

 

If he won't try any on or let you measure him, he gets new sweats in your estimated size & his too small pants disappear.

 

Mine has been wearing sweats only (sensory issues) for a decade. When he got his internship this year, he had to start getting real pants!

Now he needs a suit for going to ISEF. Poor kid, lol.

Edited March 19, 2017 by Hilltopmom

[TeenagerMom]

RE: the height issue......you should be able to find men's jeans online with a 26 inch inseam.  If you have a The Buckle, they can do alterations I believe and also carry speciality lengths.