going back to the mainstream (esp college)

[neonbluesharpie]

Possibly a bit whiny. I've been figuring some things out lately and I'm a little fragile.

 

This is for the gifted grown ups and the kids. What's your best/favourite coping/adjustment strategy for having to stay in a "regular" classroom where there is no differentiation? How do you battle the disengagement and frustration of being in a very different space from everyone else? It's applicable across grade levels but for homeschoolers, college is when it starts smacking you in the face again.

[wapiti]

College should be the easiest educational level (aside from grad school) to find an appropriate fit, starting with the chosen program.  If you are a college student and not finding that fit, maybe there's a way you can make more of your opportunities.  In many top programs (not just top colleges, but honors programs and various challenging majors), many of the students probably qualify as gifted/top 2%, or at least in those settings there are likely sufficient numbers of such students to "find your people."

[Lawyer&Mom]

Usually you can find a good fit in college, but not always. I've been there. Certain specialized degree programs are just too niche to be super selective. It's frustrating. I don't have any good strategies to share, other than try to find the other motivated students and create a killer study group.

[justasque]

Possibly a bit whiny. I've been figuring some things out lately and I'm a little fragile.

 

This is for the gifted grown ups and the kids. What's your best/favourite coping/adjustment strategy for having to stay in a "regular" classroom where there is no differentiation? How do you battle the disengagement and frustration of being in a very different space from everyone else? It's applicable across grade levels but for homeschoolers, college is when it starts smacking you in the face again.

 

For my kids, finding a "good fit" school was the key.  One of mine could have gone to a school that 1) cost fully half of the one they ended up going to, and 2) would have meant graduating with no debt.  But when I carefully probed about the honors program at this school, it emerged that the honors kids were mainly liberal arts majors and mine was a STEM kid.  I asked how many honors kids could one expect to find in any given STEM class, and the answer was few if any.  Since mine easily qualified for the honors program, we decided that four years without academic peers would be a waste of their time; we went with a school with more academic peers in their major even though it meant graduating with some debt.

 

I would caution that freshman year one might encounter classes that are designed to bring everyone up to a certain baseline.  Sometimes one can test out of these classes (inquire!) and sometimes that's not an option.  Looking ahead to see how quickly the program of study gets into more complex material might be reassuring.  

 

There are also usually a varying number of "core" and "elective" classes required.  Choose these cautiously.  Use ratemyprofessor.com when registering for classes.  When you see reviews like "this prof was really hard but I learned so much", you know you've got what you're seeking.  When you see reviews like "waste of time", with some details that show valid reasons for the opinion, you may want to steer clear.  Consulting with those a year or two ahead can also yield useful information.  The same class might be utterly different when taught by a different prof.

 

While I loved my film appreciation class, it was more "interesting" than "challenging", and fell clearly into the "easy A" category.  I knew this going in,and was able to enjoy the diversion and learn quite a bit, even though the graded work was not academically challenging.

 

In non-STEM classes, it is quite easy to give yourself more depth, by reading all of the "optional" material, seeking out other reading, doing more research than required for papers, and so on.  

 

Another option to keep oneself challenged is to add more to one's schedule.  Get a part-time job, take up a sport (club sports are a good option), do service work, get involved with an organization related to career goals, do some tutoring, join a club that is playing board games or learning ethnic dance or building a race car or running a radio station.  These activities can keep your mind busy and enhance your resume.  

 

Ultimately, if you are stuck at a school that isn't challenging, you may think seriously about transferring, or if that is not an option, taking on a heavy course load and using summer semesters to graduate as early as possible.

[slackermom]

I made things more challenging for myself when and where I could.

 

In college, I got most of my introductory classes waived through various methods, based on various test scores, and I took a bunch of CLEP exams too. The first university I attended even allowed students to sit for a one day writing composition evaluation test, so I was able to take American Women in Literature for my first class instead of English 101.

 

I took a lot of classes outside my major (economics). I read each course catalog cover to cover, and really branched out, and sometimes I would hunt down a professor and get permission to enroll. When my second university started a new museum studies program, I took all of those classes, when everyone else in the program was an art major. I also took a bunch of philosophy classes, and met a bunch of hard-core thinkers that way.

 

I worked all through college, including a position at the school newspaper. I got to know a big cross-section of people that way, and attended lots of interesting events. I am very introverted, but a press pass and a camera were great tools for helping me get around. I also learned a bunch of cool technical stuff there, like how to develop black and white pictures in the lab.

 

I took advantage of summer programs at other schools to try out even more stuff. I read like crazy. I traveled when I could.

 

[neonbluesharpie]

Thank you all for your responses. It's given me some things to think about. Please prepare for the wall o' text ahead.

 

[but please don't quote it?]

 

I was one of the "unserved" gifted kids and I've found college to be much the same as grade school was. I'll be undertaking a second degree in the next year or so which will require "starting over", and I want to take the time to sort of "reset" as I finish this program before starting that one to "get my head in the right place." I think the differences between myself and others at my school are generally assumed to be an age or program difference by most, which certainly adds dimensions, but scarcely tell the whole story. (As a note-- I read through "Gifted Grownups" on a suggestion I found by lurking, parts of it read like my biography...)

 

I blessedly have an instructor this term, who does not know my background per se, but understands that I work much differently from other people in the course, and has remarked upon my work positively. It's a little unsettling, but quite welcome!

 

I'd like to remain as anonymous as possible, but if it is curious why I am "just now" going through this, I had a concussion/TBI several years ago and was symptomatic for a year and a half after, with what appeared to me deficits in functioning. It's been resolved for a while, but I've only recently accepted that I am just the same as I ever was, and that perhaps I now have the time and space to engage in what I really need/want, rather than sort of limping along in the system.

 

(And as a last word-- I grew up as the only person like me I knew, or that anyone I knew did. This board has helped prove to me that I'm not alone, and that has been immeasurably comforting, regardless of how different our experiences might be.)

Edited March 3, 2017 by neonbluesharpie

[Lawyer&Mom]

You are not alone. No way, no how. Now I have to go find this Gifted Grownups book...

[wapiti]

This sounds like a problem of choosing the right fit.  Do not assume that all colleges are the same!  If you are planning to undertake another degree, perhaps you can look for a more selective program or honors type of program.  The more selective the program, the greater numbers of other gifted people are likely to be classmates.  For example, the average ACT score at my alma mater is currently around the 98th percentile; accordingly, a good chunk of that school's students are gifted.

[Dmmetler]

I found my peers, pre-grad school and during my ed degree, more from professors than from fellow students. I usually had enough friends for social interests, but if I wanted deep discussion, I got it from people like my musicology advisor, not from my fellow students.

 

I admit I love DD's herp conferences because it's a chance to be in a room of really smart, passionate people.

[Guest]

In college I took leadership roles in ecs, exercised, read interesting things, continued with a musical instrument, and found a like minded study partner. Undergrad research wasn't an option then, but it is now. I also was not able to get funding for many conferences as a student, but it seems more is available now. I have a genetic issue that was affecting my memory recall, so I did not continue after my masters....now many years later science has advanced and there is a fix,so I am at the point of indulging my intellect again. In the community I find other gifted people thru volunteering and playing bridge.

Edited March 4, 2017 by Heigh Ho

[ebunny]

Possibly a bit whiny. I've been figuring some things out lately and I'm a little fragile.

 

This is for the gifted grown ups and the kids. What's your best/favourite coping/adjustment strategy for having to stay in a "regular" classroom where there is no differentiation? How do you battle the disengagement and frustration of being in a very different space from everyone else? It's applicable across grade levels but for homeschoolers, college is when it starts smacking you in the face again.

 

I'm responding to both your posts but am unable to multiquote.

 

I understand what you mean; only too well. I'm glad that your instructor is on your side.

 

My personal coping mechanism as an adult learner in my Masters program was to accept that If I was to learn anything of value *to me*, it must be on my own initiative, effort and time. This *was/is* a selective college.

 

Frustration was the first rung in my ladder, resignation was the last. But I refused to be disengaged and decided to take ownership of my own learning goals upto and including negotiating with the professors to design individualized assignments, a different feedback mechanism, and a waiver of the attendance requirement so I could skip classes with prof approval.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[regentrude]

College should not be a problem. My gifted DD is attending a tough school and is intellectually challenged in her classes, but she also took it up a notch, chose the honors version of an already difficult class sequence, completes a double major that has no overlap between the subjects, and has leadership roles in two extracurricular organizations.

She never had intellectual peers of the same age (during high school, she took college classes and found soul mates among the college seniors) - until she got to the university she is currently attending. The student body at a highly selective college is full of gifted students.

 

But even for a non selective school: college is what a student makes of it. You can choose a difficult major, harder classes, take grad courses as undergrad, take a large class load, complete several majors or minors, get involved in undergraduate research, do independent study with professors, dig deeper and study additional material on your own. In college, when you have completed your assigned work early, you are free to do whatever you want - learn more, or do some other activity; nobody is giving you a stack of more worksheets of the same stuff as they do in school. 

 

I was bored in school, but college as a physics major was challenging. There is so much to learn, so many books in the library - one can always search for more depth or better understanding or a more elegant solution beyond completing the bare requirements.

And adult learner should be able to do these things.

 

ETA: You know it is possible to test out of many courses at college, do you? If you know the material already, ask about credit by examination. 

Edited March 6, 2017 by regentrude

[neonbluesharpie]

Again, in the interest of anonymity, I'm going to be somewhat vague-- I'm not dismissing your advice or trying to avoid stuff. (OMG this is so long, I am so sorry.)

I think some of the dissonance is this idea that I was given when I was little that college would be sooo different from grade school, like overall everything would be (you know, "just put up and shut up, you get your reward when you graduate"). It's not, but there are more/bigger differences if you know where to look. I don't know if I'm explaining that well. Like I said, I'm feeling a little whiny and fragile and trying to sort this out!!

Thank you: for your responses, advice, and understanding. "Frustration was the first rung in my ladder, resignation was the last." is an amazing way to put it. It's like I'm climbing the ladder again now. Also what dmettler said about the herp conferences-- I have some opportunities to work with people who are obsessed with the same things I am. I get to nerd out and tell really dumb jokes and advance knowledge and eat pizza. It's pretty great.

 

Selectiveness: likely true, although I have experience with the population of a much more selective school than mine and I'm unimpressed. :/ In any case, I now have a complicated academic background for a few reasons-- the fancy schools won't take me, I don't think.

 

School "fit": definitely true. Although for where I was when I got here, it's been really good for me in other ways.

 

The "next" program: will be STEM-focused, although I may try adding in some minors in other areas. I will likely stay at this school, or a similar one that's nearby. My current situation requires that cost and distance be primary considerations for this phase, so that selectivity/strength can be one for the next step. The honors program is only for the first 2 years and pretty much only covers general education courses (I'd asked about them previously). We do have some research opportunities (mostly STEM) and I may be able to wiggle into some of them even now.

 

Ownership: Absolutely. I've been keeping a "list to look up later" since I was young. It's time to knock down some walls (figuratively!) and go see those subject-matter experts, even just for a recommendation of where to go from here. Talking to those who might be able to shift around the syllabus is also an option. I sort of think that they're surprised by someone who wants "more"... at least going by some of the looks I get when I ask questions!

 

Adding on: Yes. I volunteer, I have hobbies, I'm working on a project with a pretty big name in the field, I work (although not in a field of interest). I do think I could do more, though. It's like when you first start exercising and the first five minutes are exhausting, you have to keep adding more to stop being tired.

 

Thank you all again. I don't really have anyone IRL to hash this out with (and maybe it's helpful to someone else down the road?). I'm so close to the situation that it's sometimes hard to see it all clearly without someone else looking at it too.

[wapiti]

FWIW, when I was an undergrad even at a selective school, I wasn't particularly interested in academics (I don't know why and don't need to get into that).  It wasn't until grad school that I got into it and was able to "geek out" with like-minded folks.  Are you absolutely certain that you need another BA/BS rather than some form of grad degree in the new subject in question?  Older, more mature, interested grad students might be the antidote you seek, even if they're just "regular bright" and not gifted per se.

[neonbluesharpie]

FWIW, when I was an undergrad even at a selective school, I wasn't particularly interested in academics (I don't know why and don't need to get into that).  It wasn't until grad school that I got into it and was able to "geek out" with like-minded folks.  Are you absolutely certain that you need another BA/BS rather than some form of grad degree in the new subject in question?  Older, more mature, interested grad students might be the antidote you seek, even if they're just "regular bright" and not gifted per se.

 

Unfortunately, yes. A baccalaureate in a natural science or engineering discipline is a baseline requirement for one goal, and I haven't got the "paperwork" for moving straight into a grad program. I would get to skip the "gen ed" stuff for the most part, though. Unless there's a magic program that would let me sort of "back in to it" where by hitting the pre-reqs for the grad program, I end up earning the BSc too since I'd already have the gen eds done from a first degree and they'd likely cover everything in that list.

 

(Being a registered 2nd degree student would also make the paperwork easier, the only real difference is you can't 2nd-degree into a couple of programs that I'm not interested in anyway and no honors college [but honors in department is available]).