DD6 was officially diagnosed with ASD today. Mild to Moderate is what they said. Moderate stemming from her very serious language delay, mild stemming from mostly everything else....she has almost none of the hand gestures, none of the stereotypical behaviors, like rigid schedules, meltdowns over changes, etc. She has some social issues that fall between the mild and moderate, but a lot of that stems from us just not putting the situations out there. I described her softball issues in a previous post, but really there aren't a lot of opportunities available here.
Anyway.....this is what we suspected for a while. But......it still sucks. Part of the reason it sucks is that really, it provides a label for the delays she has, but doesn't really seem to provide any actual REASON for the delays, nor does it really describe what problems she might have in the future. Mostly though, it just sucks.
DD6 has never really regressed. Like you think of kids who develop normally then start loosing words, losing the ability to interact, etc. It's more like she just, paused. Like, she hit a year old, and then just stopped, for about 18 months. Then, picked up where she left off. And it's always felt like, globally, she has progressed beyond that point, with always with that 1.5 to 2 yr lag.
I will say, even though we suspected this, even though we don't necessarily disagree with this, ASD testing feels imprecise. For example one of the questions on the survey that stands out to me was about being able to answer the phone. Honestly, none of my younger three kids have ever answered the phone in their lives. We have no home phone. DH and I each have a cell with individual phone numbers and because the phone is right by me, I have never had reason nor opportunity to teach any of them to answer the phone. When DD21 was a kid, I went through a lesson or so about answering the phone because we had a phone she had access to. My younger kids don't have that opportunity. Another question was about friendships.....my kids don't have much opportunity for "friendships." Not because I keep them holed up in the house all the time. But because, they are homeschooled, the kids around the neighborhood aren't from families that I am comfortable letting stay around, and we didn't sign any of the younger ones up for anything "extracurricular" until last year.
Anyway, again, I don't disagree with the diagnosis. It's been suspected. It still makes me want to cry.