Surviving Pregnancy w/Older Kids

[Paige]

We are having a surprise caboose baby. Probably...if it sticks. My other kids were fairly close together and my oldest was only in K when the youngest was born. As stressful as I thought it was, I can see now that it was all so much simpler and easy. My middle DDs were only 2/3 when the youngest was born, DS was at public K, and when I had my middle DDs, oldest was only 2. Now, my youngest will be 10 when the baby is born. 

 

It's easy to be sick all day when your oldest is 2 or 5. The little kids don't need any school; don't have to go anywhere. Kindergarten is a breeze and no stress. You can lay in bed and moan and be a perfectly decent parent. You can read books in bed, watch videos, and play with trucks and My Little Ponies without much thought. Also, nobody questioned why your skin was gray from puking all day. We're trying not to tell the kids yet and I don't know how long I can avoid telling them before they think I'm dying of something more serious! They were pretty worried and sympathetic today. 

 

How do you explain or hide morning sickness? How do you do school in the mornings when you can't stand upright without gagging? I have to take them places that I really can't skip. And we have to be on time, and I cannot let the rest of the year slide academically. Today was the first day morning sickness really hit, but I remember it well. It won't be the last. I was sick almost 9 months with everyone else. My nausea is usually all day but much worse in the mornings. Fridays are pretty light school days so I was able to give them directions and go back to bed until it passed today, but I can't do that every day. With my first, when I was in college, I had all night classes so I could function, but my kids can't do that. They have other evening activities and they are not night owls at all. They think best in the morning. 

 

My last OB gave me some zofram and that helped a lot but I won't see a doctor until 2 weeks from now.  And I'm hearing zofram is no longer recommended? I ordered myself a giant pack of emesis bags to keep in the car and around the house and some ginger candies. Anything else new and really effective? I used to take benadryl and that helped, but back then I could sleep it off when the kids napped. I am getting seasonal allergies too and nothing makes me puke like a runny nose. 

 

 

[three4me]

If you're very ill, I'm sure they'd be happy to see you sooner than two weeks.

[AK_Mom4]

We have a tag-along kid as well.  6 years between DD15 and DS21 and the oldest three are all less than 2 years apart.

 

I told the kids I had "the flu" for the first four-five months of throwing up 5-6 times a day.  And I agree - if you are having bad morning sickness, the OB should see you earlier than 2 weeks from now.

 

The kids got to play a lot of legos and nintendo while I got my nap every afternoon.  On the plus side, at ages 6, 8 and 10, they were perfectly capable of staying out of trouble for an hour or so while I napped.  

 

Relocate school to the couch anyways and lie down when you feel ghastly. 

[mommyoffive]

If you are really sick call your ob. 

They will see you sooner.

 

 

 

Big kids can do a lot for themselves. 

[AnnE-girl]

Honestly, we told our big kids (6 and 8 at the time) earlier than we planned because I didn't want them to worry that something was really wrong with me. They were old enough that we couldn't have really hid a miscarriage from them if it happened, so telling them sooner made sense. That's what worked for us anyway.

[maize]

I don't try to hide anything--I tell the kids that there is a new baby on the way and that Mom is going to be feeling sick for the next few months so everyone needs to step up to the plate and help out.

 

Most kids can up their game and be responsible when they know it is needed. I'd have a serious discussion with them about the realities of morning (all day...) sickness and household and school expectations for the coming months.

 

Anyone who is high school aged is old enough to take primary responsibility for their own school work. Anyone younger than high school who doesn't prove up to the task--well, it really is OK for a 10 or 12 year old to do lighter school for a few months. I'd keep math going and drop everything else if necessary.

[maize]

My midwife prescribed zofran when diclegis wasn't helping with my current pregnancy. There are some slightly increased risks but if it has worked for you before I wouldn't hesitate to ask for it.

Edited February 25, 2017 by maize

[amy g.]

I have had 6 miscarriages and my kids resent the ones that I didn't tell them about.

 

When they were younger, I got out the big illustrated pregnancy books and went through the pictures and showed them pictures of the baby's size and talked about how things don't always go right in such a complex process.

 

It is hard.

 

It hurts to think that by telling them you are causing sadness you could have prevented.

 

The alternative was for them to feel alienated from me because they knew that something was wrong, but they didn't know what.

 

I'm not trying to say that you should tell your kids. I know that families are different. It is just that trying to spare my loved ones never really worked out for me.

[Bluegoat]

We have 7 years between the baby and the next youngest.  I have found it far simpler and more enjoyable, they are just so much more independant and enjoyable.

[ktgrok]

seriously take a break from school for a few weeks until you get some meds. Get the kids doing math games on a tablet, playing teach your monster to read on a tablet, whatever. Do Time 4 learning for a few months if you need to. Whatever. It's a few months, an you can school year round and make it up later. 

[Liz CA]

When I was ill during a period of homeschooling I assigned Math work sheets (or tablet like Katie said) and worked off the reading list of the WTM. Perhaps have the older ones write a book report. This provides literature, reading, some writing, comprehension, math and we had science books from the library. Ds read the science books and then looked up interesting facts online. It was light fare but I don't think it caused deficits.

Edited February 25, 2017 by Liz CA

[caedmyn]

Milk thistle capsules 3x/day have been quite helpful for me the pregnancies I took them. Also, using a magnesium oil spray 2x/day helped noticeably with my last pregnancy.

[Mbelle]

My kids were 12 and 10 when the baby baby was born.  The older 2 were so helpful and loving.  It has been easier as far as child raising. We all have so much fun together.

[JFSinIL]

Think of those kids as needing to learn how to cook, clean, do laundry etc. now for Mom. Schooling can largely wait a bit until you feel better. Heck, that is what summer is for this year, right? Call every possible relative/neighbor/fellow home schooler and ask for help. Good luck, and keep us posted. Oh - and tell the kids. Odds are they will be imagining all sorts of dire possibilities. But you are not deathly ill - you are pregnant, and sometimes the body gets cranky and makes Mom feel crummy for a while at first. Part of life.

Edited February 25, 2017 by JFSinIL

[EndOfOrdinary]

I think witnessing 9 months of morning sickness and Mom feeling totally a mess would be extremely FABULOUS birth control if I had tweens/teens. As an adult, I know that baby is worth it. At that age, nothing involving the opposite sex would have been worth that!

[EmseB]

If I knew how to solve the OP's problem I'd have a couple more babies.  It is so hard.  When I had my youngest I only really had 2nd and K to deal with.  And it was still hard.

 

Diclegis made me functional but just barely. Unfortunately Zofran does absolutely nothing for me whatsoever.  Phenegran is amazing, but of course totally puts me to sleep.

 

Mostly just muddled through and realized that kids and family life are resilient and little babies are so worth it.

[Paige]

I always considered my "morning" sickness to be fairly typical. I'm not dehydrated or anything- just miserable. Hopefully it will pass and won't be so bad this time. I'm going to try taking benadryl at night since that used to help.

 

We aren't telling the kids for any specific reason. I guess it's just habit. I like to hear the heartbeat first and to make sure it is viable, but I'm mostly not telling them to protect my sense of peace. I really don't want to tell our extended family yet. I value my privacy and as soon as people find out, I get no more of that. I like silence. I don't 100% trust the kids to keep their mouths shut if we tell them.

 

They are pretty responsible and helpful already, so I couldn't expect much more out of them. We are working hard to prepare the two I have at home to enroll in an advanced program next year. They have really struggled in the past but have progressed significantly this year and I think they will be ready. We can't slow down on school work or they won't be where we need them to be, but I may be able to adjust how we do some things. We could work upstairs near the bathroom instead of downstairs, and as we complete some books, I don't necessarily need to add more just to fill time. 

 

 

[Bambam]

I think you devise alternate plans for school for the rest of the year.

1. If they have to be somewhere in the morning, find a friend's mom to take them. 

2. Can your mom or other family member come help for a few weeks/months/years? 

3. School direction and assistance might have to come in slightly different forms. Or at different times. 

4. I'd encourage all my children to be more independent. That will be a great help when the baby arrives.

5. Consider rescheduling school - Direct instruction takes place in the afternoon. Maybe school doesn't start until noon and continues later?

 

Good luck! 

[BlsdMama]

We are having a surprise caboose baby. Probably...if it sticks. My other kids were fairly close together and my oldest was only in K when the youngest was born. As stressful as I thought it was, I can see now that it was all so much simpler and easy. My middle DDs were only 2/3 when the youngest was born, DS was at public K, and when I had my middle DDs, oldest was only 2. Now, my youngest will be 10 when the baby is born. 

 

It's easy to be sick all day when your oldest is 2 or 5. The little kids don't need any school; don't have to go anywhere. Kindergarten is a breeze and no stress. You can lay in bed and moan and be a perfectly decent parent. You can read books in bed, watch videos, and play with trucks and My Little Ponies without much thought. Also, nobody questioned why your skin was gray from puking all day. We're trying not to tell the kids yet and I don't know how long I can avoid telling them before they think I'm dying of something more serious! They were pretty worried and sympathetic today. 

 

How do you explain or hide morning sickness? How do you do school in the mornings when you can't stand upright without gagging? I have to take them places that I really can't skip. And we have to be on time, and I cannot let the rest of the year slide academically. Today was the first day morning sickness really hit, but I remember it well. It won't be the last. I was sick almost 9 months with everyone else. My nausea is usually all day but much worse in the mornings. Fridays are pretty light school days so I was able to give them directions and go back to bed until it passed today, but I can't do that every day. With my first, when I was in college, I had all night classes so I could function, but my kids can't do that. They have other evening activities and they are not night owls at all. They think best in the morning. 

 

My last OB gave me some zofram and that helped a lot but I won't see a doctor until 2 weeks from now.  And I'm hearing zofram is no longer recommended? I ordered myself a giant pack of emesis bags to keep in the car and around the house and some ginger candies. Anything else new and really effective? I used to take benadryl and that helped, but back then I could sleep it off when the kids napped. I am getting seasonal allergies too and nothing makes me puke like a runny nose. 

 

I preferred older kiddos to youngers.  Explain it to them and they'll get it.  Olders can make their own breakfast or lunch if smells bother you.  (Huge bonus!)  You can still lay on the couch and moan and they can bring you work to check or come for answers.  You all can listen to audiobooks all afternoon with no reading on your part (or telling them to sit still OR chasing them back out of the kitchen.)  They should do their heavier stuff (think Math) in the AM but there is no  reason to not switch History, Lit., etc to audiobooks and do those as a family in the evening.   I didn't catch your kiddos' ages, but youngest at ten must mean some high school kiddos?  These kids can be largely self motivated with accountability and clarification coming from you. :)

[Meadowlark]

Funny because I am about 3-4 months ahead of you, in the exact same situation. I didn't tell my

older kids and my very perceptive 10 yr. old was quite concerned with why I was so sick. I felt kind of bad, but also wanted to wait awhile and tell when I was ready. For us, the kids got a whole lot more independent-and they really can do things without mom after all! I would just simplify school as much as possible. If it gets really really bad, maybe consider telling them? If I would've known how sick I would be, I would've told earlier. I was way sicker this time than with any of the others. Good luck and congrats!