Perimenopause S/O. Do you feel bitter?

[SKL]

I need to clarify. I'm not bitter at men. I'm bitter at the medical establishment that doesn't take women's issues as seriously as men's. I see lots of ED commercials but I don't recall seeing any for HRT. Viagra and the like are covered by most insurance; HRT is often not.

 

I dunno, I've seen commercials for tampons, pads, pregnancy tests, douches, dryness, cramp mitigators, acne, incontinence, and more.

 

I don't think men are told that they need to have annual internal checks for their whole lives starting with puberty.  Mammograms aren't recommended for men AFAIK.  The fact that there's a very large field called GYN says something ....

[Carol in Cal.]

In general, I wish that there were 'ages and stages' books that describe normal aging.

I'm tired of being tripped up by things that I have no idea whether they are normal or pathological because I've never even heard of them before, like heavy chin hair, or suddenly having smelly sweat between my boobs instead of just under my arms.  And I want to know (I think) what is ahead.  

[SKL]

Another thing - research has shown that HRT (for example) creates risks AND merely postpones some symptoms.  If I'm going to go through menopause anyway, I want to get it OVER WITH.  :)  I honestly would be more irritated if a medical professional tried to talk me into treatments that would make any of this crap last longer.  (Assuming HRT is not absolutely required for me to live my life.)

[Liz CA]

Right.  I still see no point in being bitter.  For whatever reasons, there isn't medical help for every condition people suffer.   

 

Very true IMHO. Perhaps things could be better but we have a lot more arsenal now that our grandmothers did. I never heard my grandmother complain but then she was rather stoic, had lived through WWII - so what was a hot flash to her? Or maybe she did not have a lot of symptoms.

Either way though, her options were a lot more limited than mine are today.

 

[Catwoman]

In general, I wish that there were 'ages and stages' books that describe normal aging.

I'm tired of being tripped up by things that I have no idea whether they are normal or pathological because I've never even heard of them before, like heavy chin hair, or suddenly having smelly sweat between my boobs instead of just under my arms. And I want to know (I think) what is ahead.

I felt a lot better after I sat down with my gyn and we had a long discussion about it. I wanted to know what symptoms were normal and what would warrant a phone call or an appointment. It really helped me to know what *not* to panic about, and to realize that there are a lot of weird symptoms of perimenopause that I hadn't even known about.

 

Definitely talk to your gyn and ask a lot of questions. Bring a list with you if you're afraid you'll forget something. And if your doctor doesn't take the time to discuss your concerns at length, find a doctor who will. You'll feel so much better once you find out that most of your symptoms are not only normal, but are also very common -- at least I did. :)

[Seasider]

Another thing - research has shown that HRT (for example) creates risks AND merely postpones some symptoms. If I'm going to go through menopause anyway, I want to get it OVER WITH. :) I honestly would be more irritated if a medical professional tried to talk me into treatments that would make any of this crap last longer. (Assuming HRT is not absolutely required for me to live my life.)

lol I had this conversation with my GYN before deciding on the hysterectomy. Not specifically HRT, but hormones rather than surgery to treat the bleeding issues. The hormonal treatment plan included lots of trial and error, start then stop and measure, could be years to get it right. It was easy to say please just book an OR...

 

Now i do realize that there will be other things to pay attention to once my natural hormone factory shuts down (i.e., need to exercise for bone strength, that sort of thing). But general I believe I will be happy to be on the other side of it.

[Guest]

Not bitter. I have long since made my peace with the imperfections of the human body.

The female reproductive system is a perfect proof that there is no such thing as "intelligent design", because surely the issue of reproduction could have been designed much more intelligently and elegantly without periods.

 

ETA: But having a niece with cerebral palsy and a brother with a mental impairment, menopause ranks fairly low on my list of things for which I wish there were medical help.

 

ETA: I am also not jealous of men. Women still win on the life expectancy thing - how is that fair?

Lol! I totally say this...marsupials, for instance. Now THAT is freakin' brilliant. Baby crawls into the pouch when it's the size of a kidney bean, hangs on to a teat for dear life, and then when it's all done gestating, it just hops outta the pouch. When it needs to nurse again - plop! Back in the pouch for a nip. Brilliant. Primates should have worked that system out somewhere along the evolutionary chain.

[Liz CA]

Another thing - research has shown that HRT (for example) creates risks AND merely postpones some symptoms.  If I'm going to go through menopause anyway, I want to get it OVER WITH.  :)  I honestly would be more irritated if a medical professional tried to talk me into treatments that would make any of this crap last longer.  (Assuming HRT is not absolutely required for me to live my life.)

 

From what I recall - it's been a few years - BHRT does not carry the same issues as HRT as the doses are miniscule and tailored to people's symptoms. It should not prolong discomfort but have a balancing effect. This is usually done in a compounding method as it allows for individualization. Just throwing this out there.

 

 

lol I had this conversation with my GYN before deciding on the hysterectomy. Not specifically HRT, but hormones rather than surgery to treat the bleeding issues. The hormonal treatment plan included lots of trial and error, start then stop and measure, could be years to get it right. It was easy to say please just book an OR...

 

Now i do realize that there will be other things to pay attention to once my natural hormone factory shuts down (i.e., need to exercise for bone strength, that sort of thing). But general I believe I will be happy to be on the other side of it.

 

I felt twenty years younger afterwards. No kidding. Perhaps do some research and look at some supplements and see what you are comfortable with? I did a bone scan right before so I had a baseline for bone density. If symptoms are present and warrant intervention, look into BHRT and supplementation. Anectodal - as someone will point out - but this is how I managed it. I hope you have an easy recovery and it will be a tremendous relief for you.

Edited February 20, 2017 by Liz CA

[Guest]

To the OP, I do think sometimes I feel bitter just in terms of perimenopausal hormone fluctuations and/or what would typically be called a Mid-Life Crisis. It's not a bitterness towards being female, it's more like frustrations with life on the whole. I have recently started a meditation class and am practicing every day. I'm doing this because I hope to have it help take the edge off those I-Hate-Everything moments (days, weeks, months...).

 

In general, I think how grateful I am to simply be alive in this era and not an earlier time. I literally was just thinking this morning, "Well, at least there is such a thing as these super-thin, absorb-10x-its-weight, adhesive pads and I don't have to wear a sanitary belt and a pad that's two inches thick like my mother did!" Praise the gods that there are so many awesome, discreet and easy to use and wear period management supplies now! For that matter, I could go have an ablation if I simply could not bear the periods anymore. I don't think that option was available to my mother.

[Seasider]

From what I recall - it's been a few years - BHRT does not carry the same issues as HRT as the doses are miniscule and tailored to people's symptoms. It should not prolong discomfort but have a balancing effect. This is usually done in a compounding method as it allows for individualization. Just throwing this out there.

 

 

 

I felt twenty years younger afterwards. No kidding. Perhaps do some research and look at some supplements and see what you are comfortable with? I did a bone scan right before so I had a baseline for bone density. If symptoms are present and warrant intervention, look into BHRT and supplementation. Anectodal - as someone will point out - but this is how I managed it. I hope you have an easy recovery and it will be a tremendous relief for you.

B=bioidentical, right? I have some acquaintances who have pursued this, but haven't spoken with them specifically about their experiences. I will be open minded about this, depending on how the rest of perimenooause/menopause shakes out. I want to be healthy and energentic to chase grandkids! I must be very honest with myself, though, about being disciplined with self care. It's been easy to let that go with child rearing and turbulent, wonky-schedule teen years, but now that I have a little more personal time, I need to use it wisely. We will see how far that will get me. Good to know you've had a good experience and that Bhrt remains an option should the need arise. Seriously though, just saying goodbye to the uterus has been life-changing. Edited February 20, 2017 by Seasider

[PollyOR]

Well, the dismissiveness in this thread made me more bitter.

 

Let me add an amen.  [Maybe I shouldn't reply as I'm feeling cranky.  It's a vertigo kind of day.]

 

Look, colds are natural.  Should we do nothing to help ourselves when we have a cold?  Bacterial infections are natural.  Should we not take antibiotics?  If the medical and pharmaceutical professions did not offer help with those natural causes, would we be sitting around saying that we should just endure to the end?  No, they are always looking for new ways to help with those natural occurrences. 

 

My MIL had five children and did not have morning sickness.  When I was complaining about morning sickness and how bad I felt, she chastised me and wanted to know why I got pregnant.  Then when one of her daughters was experiencing morning sickness MIL got really worried and called me for advice.  

 

So, I wonder if what I'm seeing on this thread are different experiences.  Maybe those who have an "endure to the end" outlook don't have symptoms which are as severe as someone else.  Like my MIL, maybe they aren't as concerned because they have had milder physical experiences.

 

I'm not exactly bitter, but I am tired.   I've been at this for a good 10 years and I'm ready for it to be over.   

Edited February 20, 2017 by PollyOR

[Liz CA]

I am sorry Polly. That sounds miserable.

[Crimson Wife]

 

Mammograms aren't recommended for men AFAIK.

 

If men had to have their testicles painfully squashed multiple times on an annual basis to check for cancer, they would've figured out a less painful-but-still-effective alternative. :glare:

 

Edited February 20, 2017 by Crimson Wife

[amy g.]

I'm doctor avoidant in a not rational way, so that probably explains why I never thought to get medical help for my hormonal changes.

 

I have always had horrible PMS and postpartum depression, but part of my depression was refusing follow up appointments so no one was really able to help me.

 

I'm almost 51 and experiencing quite a few changes. All of my friends have had hysterectomies so I don't have anyone to compare symptoms with.

 

I had 2 babies in my 40s and then 3 miscarriages when I was 47. Doctor google insisted that women can't get pregnant at 47, much less 3 times without even trying.

 

This makes me think that I'm probably going to be on the very late end of the menopause range.

 

In October, I was skipping cycles and having about 10 hot flashes a day. I could not sleep at night, I had my first migraine, I was starting to have anxiety at random times. I was just a mess.

 

So I turned to Amazon reviews for help. I bought a concoction that many women recommended for hormonal health. It cut my hot flashes down to 5 per day but gave me a headache.

 

I cleaned up my diet. I cut caffeine to one cup of coffee a day. I limited alcohol, I bought earplugs to sleep in and things really have improved. I signed up for daily lap swimming when my girls are at swim practice. I had my first coached lesson Saturday, and it completely kicked my old, fat lady butt. However, once I build up some stamina, I think it will solve my sleep issues for good.

 

My cycles have returned and I'm only having hot flashes once a week. They are enough to wake me up, but not as severe as before.

 

I wish there was more medical support for women who want it, but the best doctors in the world can't help me when I refuse to go to them.

 

I'm feeling hopeful now. I think that my 50s could end up being my happiest decade yet.

[SKL]

If men had to have their testicles painfully squashed multiple times on an annual basis to check for cancer, they would've figured out a less painful-but-still-effective alternative. :glare:

 

 

They do have to have their testicles checked, and as far as I know, they have to basically be fondled by a guy, which many do not enjoy, and it probably is painful in some circumstances.

 

I'm not sure how they could make mammograms better without it costing a lot more, but let's get some women doctors and engineers working on that.  :)

Edited February 20, 2017 by SKL

[SparklyUnicorn]

I felt a lot better after I sat down with my gyn and we had a long discussion about it. I wanted to know what symptoms were normal and what would warrant a phone call or an appointment. It really helped me to know what *not* to panic about, and to realize that there are a lot of weird symptoms of perimenopause that I hadn't even known about.

 

Definitely talk to your gyn and ask a lot of questions. Bring a list with you if you're afraid you'll forget something. And if your doctor doesn't take the time to discuss your concerns at length, find a doctor who will. You'll feel so much better once you find out that most of your symptoms are not only normal, but are also very common -- at least I did. :)

 

Yeah I can't remember having a doctor who didn't run out of the room after 2 minutes.

 

:glare:

[Bluegoat]

I need to clarify. I'm not bitter at men. I'm bitter at the medical establishment that doesn't take women's issues as seriously as men's. I see lots of ED commercials but I don't recall seeing any for HRT. Viagra and the like are covered by most insurance; HRT is often not.

 

And, please, I've never heard a man say "I have to stay home one or two days a month because of my prostate issues" but I regularly hear women talk about being housebound due to heavy periods. Like that is a normal, acceptable way to live!

 

And, I do not give AF if menopause is natural. We medicate lots of natural things. I've already researched ablation and have chosen a doctor for the day my periods mess up my life.

 

People were scared off of HRT, it was huge before that. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

People were scared off of HRT, it was huge before that. 

 

I don't know if it was huge (not arguing with you, just saying I don't know).  But Valium was once huge.  So there must be a reason!

[Bluegoat]

They do have to have their testicles checked, and as far as I know, they have to basically be fondled by a guy, which many do not enjoy, and it probably is painful in some circumstances.

 

I'm not sure how they could make mammograms better without it costing a lot more, but let's get some women doctors and engineers working on that.  :)

 

I'd not be surprised to see mammograms become much less common, so it may not matter so much.

[Penguin]

I am bitter that I skipped peri. Thanks to cancer treatment, I was thrust into instant menopause at 41. And now I have osteopenia at 52, I am bitter about that. Without a cancer diagnosis, I would have either not had osteopenia or it would have been many years later. I feel robbed.

 

Not proud of these feelings, but I freely admit to them.

Edited February 20, 2017 by Penguin

[Bluegoat]

I don't know if it was huge (not arguing with you, just saying I don't know).  But Valium was once huge.  So there must be a reason!

 

It was a big scandal, people felt the drug companies had pushed it without testing it enough. Apparently it worked well for many to control symptoms, although IIRC there were some studies done that suggested some of the improvement was psycho-somatic.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I am bitter that I skipped peri. Thanks to cancer treatment, I was thrust into instant menopause at 41. And now I have osteopenia at 52, I am bitter about that. Without a cancer diagnosis, I would have either not had osteopenia or it would have been many years later. I feel robbed.

 

Not proud of these feelings, but I freely admit to them.

 

:grouphug:

[Crimson Wife]

 

I'm not sure how they could make mammograms better without it costing a lot more, but let's get some women doctors and engineers working on that.  :)

 

If they can figure out how to do open-air MRI's, they could figure out how to do mammograms without painfully squashing the b00ks x 4. It's just a matter of sexism in the medical engineering industry.

[Bluegoat]

If they can figure out how to do open-air MRI's, they could figure out how to do mammograms without painfully squashing the b00ks x 4. It's just a matter of sexism in the medical engineering industry.

 

How could you know that?

[SparklyUnicorn]

How could you know that?

 

There is no other logical explanation for it.

[regentrude]

If they can figure out how to do open-air MRI's, they could figure out how to do mammograms without painfully squashing the b00ks x 4. It's just a matter of sexism in the medical engineering industry.

 

or maybe it is simply not really worth the effort, considering it's a few seconds once a year or every few years.

How is the development of a "better" machine going to pay off?

Would women opt for the "better" machine and pay a premium so it won't squeeze for 30 seconds? 

I personally much rather take the temporary discomfort and save the money.

Edited February 20, 2017 by regentrude

[regentrude]

There is no other logical explanation for it.

 

Huh?

[SparklyUnicorn]

Huh?

 

I'm kidding.

 

I don't really believe it's a conspiracy, but it sure does feel like one sometimes.

[Farrar]

The "you should be grateful for your body" vibe in this thread makes me want to tear my hair out. It's a bit like first world problems. Just because I have enough to eat doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to be annoyed that my kids are being picky or that I don't have time to cook dinner or something. Nor does it mean that those aren't actual problems that might have actual solutions. Just because my body did something "amazing" doesn't mean that I can't be annoyed that it also does a bunch of painful things too. And it also doesn't mean that it's not a real problem.

 

It's great if "perspective" helps you. But you know what else other people might like? Actual medical solutions. And the will to find them, which, obviously is not present in this thread. Or, let's be honest, in the medical community either. And the assertion somehow gender has zero to do with that is baffling to me.

 

Genuinely, I initially came into this thread to say I wasn't really bitter. Mildly annoyed at worst. But when people tell me my problems aren't problems, it does tend to make me bitter.

[SparklyUnicorn]

The "you should be grateful for your body" vibe in this thread makes me want to tear my hair out. It's a bit like first world problems. Just because I have enough to eat doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to be annoyed that my kids are being picky or that I don't have time to cook dinner or something. Nor does it mean that those aren't actual problems that might have actual solutions. Just because my body did something "amazing" doesn't mean that I can't be annoyed that it also does a bunch of painful things too. And it also doesn't mean that it's not a real problem.

 

It's great if "perspective" helps you. But you know what else other people might like? Actual medical solutions. And the will to find them, which, obviously is not present in this thread. Or, let's be honest, in the medical community either. And the assertion somehow gender has zero to do with that is baffling to me.

 

Genuinely, I initially came into this thread to say I wasn't really bitter. Mildly annoyed at worst. But when people tell me my problems aren't problems, it does tend to make me bitter.

 

Oh I'm annoyed and not grateful. 

 

Not one bit.

[Catwoman]

The "you should be grateful for your body" vibe in this thread makes me want to tear my hair out. It's a bit like first world problems. Just because I have enough to eat doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to be annoyed that my kids are being picky or that I don't have time to cook dinner or something. Nor does it mean that those aren't actual problems that might have actual solutions. Just because my body did something "amazing" doesn't mean that I can't be annoyed that it also does a bunch of painful things too. And it also doesn't mean that it's not a real problem.

 

It's great if "perspective" helps you. But you know what else other people might like? Actual medical solutions. And the will to find them, which, obviously is not present in this thread. Or, let's be honest, in the medical community either. And the assertion somehow gender has zero to do with that is baffling to me.

 

Genuinely, I initially came into this thread to say I wasn't really bitter. Mildly annoyed at worst. But when people tell me my problems aren't problems, it does tend to make me bitter.

I feel like I'm missing something here and I'm trying to understand.

 

What kinds of medical solutions are you looking for?

[regentrude]

I am really not convinced that gender has anything to do with it. 

For example, one of the most common complaints by women is lack of libido. If there were a solution, I am fairly sure men would be overjoyed. The fact that there is no fix seems rather to indicate that it is a complicated problem, not that male scientists don't care - there would be huge market and men would definitely benefit.

Edited February 20, 2017 by regentrude

[SKL]

Well, so far I have never seen a women's rights group or similar take up the issue of menopause symptom solutions.  They tend to be focused on things that a smaller % of women want.  Maybe ask them why.  After all, just about every woman has this issue to deal with.  If there is truly any gender discrimination connection, let's address that.

Edited February 20, 2017 by SKL

[SKL]

Another thing the medical community has addressed that is ONLY for women is the issue of cervical cancer.  A society that cares nothing for women's health issues would not have made that such a priority.

[SKL]

I think this is an example of "women are our own worst enemy."  Until I started going through perimenopause, I didn't even know what it was.  Women don't even talk about it with each other.  Even within families.  (In my case, my mom had a hysterectomy so she didn't go through this.)  If women don't even talk to each other about it, what are the chances they aren't informing the medical community fully?

 

Honestly, if this is something we can improve, it needs to start with those of us who are in the know.  How will we get young medical students to choose to devote their futures to these issues?  Do your kids that age know this is a need in our society?

[Loowit]

I am not bitter but there are times I am frustrated that there aren't better solutions. I have had problems pretty much since starting periods when I was an early teen.  It has gotten worse in the last couple of years as far as extremely heavy bleeding and cramps.  Today I am pretty much homebound due to heavy bleeding.  It is a huge frustration point for me.  But there are things I could do to lessen my symptoms like BCP, ablation, etc. that I have chosen not to do for personal reasons.  The doctors I have seen over the years have, on the whole, been very sympathetic and offered a number of treatment options.

 

The fact that there isn't a cure is frustration, but I don't think the lack of cure is because it is a female problem.  I think it is just something that isn't easy to solve.  But there are many other problems that people have that are much more debilitating all the time that I would like to see cured.  As much as I would love to not feel like I am bleeding out each month and I am very sympathetic to others going through similar or worse symptoms, I try to remember that others have it much worse than I do with other medical issues that are not curable and much more life altering.

[Crimson Wife]

or maybe it is simply not really worth the effort, considering it's a few seconds once a year or every few years.

How is the development of a "better" machine going to pay off?

Would women opt for the "better" machine and pay a premium so it won't squeeze for 30 seconds? 

I personally much rather take the temporary discomfort and save the money.

 

I had thought it would just be 30 seconds per side but it was probably a good 30 minutes total of lift, pull, squash, check through the camera, lift & pull some more, squash, check again, etc., etc. and THEN "ok, hold your breath and keep holding it" until I almost passed out. Then when I had thought I was done because they had done both sides it was, "now we'll take the side pictures".

 

I am busty so there is more tissue to check than some women but no flippin' way would guys put up with that kind of torture. Yes, I would ABSOLUTELY pay more money for a less painful alternative. Ditto for a less painful alternative to pelvic exams and Pap smears.

 

[Farrar]

I am really not convinced that gender has anything to do with it. 

For example, one of the most common complaints by women is lack of libido. If there were a solution, I am fairly sure men would be overjoyed. The fact that there is no fix seems rather to indicate that it is a complicated problem, not that male scientists don't care - there would be huge market and men would definitely benefit.

 

I don't really buy that though. I think many men would like to have more sex. But improving women's libidos means sexually empowering women and thinking women's desire is an important part of the sexual equation. I don't know that all men see that.

[Catwoman]

I had thought it would just be 30 seconds per side but it was probably a good 30 minutes total of lift, pull, squash, check through the camera, lift & pull some more, squash, check again, etc., etc. and THEN "ok, hold your breath and keep holding it" until I almost passed out. Then when I had thought I was done because they had done both sides it was, "now we'll take the side pictures".

 

I am busty so there is more tissue to check than some women but no flippin' way would guys put up with that kind of torture. Yes, I would ABSOLUTELY pay more money for a less painful alternative. Ditto for a less painful alternative to pelvic exams and Pap smears.

 

30 minutes??? :eek:

 

Holy cow!!! I have never heard of a mammogram taking that long -- I have had detailed diagnostic mammograms and they have still only taken a few minutes per side in total, if that.

 

It sounds like you had the most clueless and inept technician in the history of the world, and I can imagine how painful it must have been -- both during the test and afterward. :grouphug:

 

Was it some sort of special mammogram where they were looking for something very specific and thus needed so many images?

[Guest]

I don't really buy that though. I think many men would like to have more sex. But improving women's libidos means sexually empowering women and thinking women's desire is an important part of the sexual equation. I don't know that all men see that.

Agreed!! It is a rare, modern man that gives women's pleasure a second thought.

[Crimson Wife]

 

Was it some sort of special mammogram where they were looking for something very specific and thus needed so many images?

 

No, just the regular 3-D digital mammo. I had to do the 3-D vs. the 2-D because I have dense fibrocystic b00ks and my doctor said that if I did the 2-D I would almost certainly get called back for a follow-up.

[regentrude]

I had thought it would just be 30 seconds per side but it was probably a good 30 minutes total of lift, pull, squash, check through the camera, lift & pull some more, squash, check again, etc., etc. and THEN "ok, hold your breath and keep holding it" until I almost passed out. Then when I had thought I was done because they had done both sides it was, "now we'll take the side pictures".

 

I am busty so there is more tissue to check than some women but no flippin' way would guys put up with that kind of torture. Yes, I would ABSOLUTELY pay more money for a less painful alternative. Ditto for a less painful alternative to pelvic exams and Pap smears.

 

 

Oh my goodness - I never heard of a mammogram taking this long. I am sorry you have to go through this. Do you have special issues, or just a clueless technician?

[Farrar]

There also seems to be a strange assumption among many in this thread that there is no real medical bias against women. But there is. We know that statistically there is. And, yes, obviously it will be easiest to see the effects in issues like diagnosis of heart disease (women are woefully up against stereotypes on that one, as well as things like lung cancer) where we can see when women's symptoms are treated differently than men's and when there are grave consequences. But it also comes into play in terms of what issues are treated in the first place, what issues get resources, what issues are taken seriously.

[Guest]

Medical bias definitely exists.

 

A good GP should be prepared to take peri symptoms seriously.

 

I kinda wish I could share my GP around - I have never had less than stellar treatment from the practice I go to.

But it doesn't matter how good your GP is if research into treatment hasn't happened.

[Catwoman]

No, just the regular 3-D digital mammo. I had to do the 3-D vs. the 2-D because I have dense fibrocystic b00ks and my doctor said that if I did the 2-D I would almost certainly get called back for a follow-up.

I have had the 3-D digital mammo and it was very quick. I don't know what happened with yours -- all I can think of is that the tech was terrible and couldn't manage to get clear images.

Edited February 21, 2017 by Catwoman

[Catwoman]

There also seems to be a strange assumption among many in this thread that there is no real medical bias against women. But there is. We know that statistically there is. And, yes, obviously it will be easiest to see the effects in issues like diagnosis of heart disease (women are woefully up against stereotypes on that one, as well as things like lung cancer) where we can see when women's symptoms are treated differently than men's and when there are grave consequences. But it also comes into play in terms of what issues are treated in the first place, what issues get resources, what issues are taken seriously.

But how does that relate to perimenopause? What specific symptoms do you feel are being ignored?

 

I only ask because there are treatments available for many symptoms and I'm wondering which ones you believe require medical intervention that is not currently available.

[SKL]

Agreed!! It is a rare, modern man that gives women's pleasure a second thought.

 

I disagree and I'll leave it at that.  :)

[Greta]

There's no doubt that men get better care on average than women do (I've also heard of one study that showed that attractive people get better medical care than less attractive people, too!) and yes I am somewhat resentful of that fact.  

 

But what concerns me much more, and what makes me outright bitter, is the crappy state of medical care in the US generally.  We have the most expensive health care in the world, and yet in quality and effectiveness it ranks behind ALL other wealthy, industrialized nations.  That's inexcusable. 

 

What sucks the most about perimenopause for me is chronic migraines.  I get 25-35 days in a row of migraines, followed by one day, ONE DAY, of relief, followed by another 25-35 days in a row of migraines.  It took a year and a half and multiple doctors and thousands of dollars out of pocket (in addition to the thousands we pay in premiums every year) for me to get any relief.  Now, I need an adjustment in the dosage of my medication, and my neurologist refuses to do this by phone or email, he wants me to come in and pay $450 for five minutes of his time.  Okay, fine.  Next available appointment:  MAY!  So I get to suffer for three months waiting for a time that's convenient for him.  And because this is the USA and we're #1, I have no option to choose another doctor, and it would probably be the same story even if I did.  

 

That makes me bitter.  That combination of unreasonable expense plus crappy care, that makes me very bitter.

[Catwoman]

I don't really buy that though. I think many men would like to have more sex. But improving women's libidos means sexually empowering women and thinking women's desire is an important part of the sexual equation. I don't know that all men see that.

  

Agreed!! It is a rare, modern man that gives women's pleasure a second thought.

Wow. I think you ladies need to meet some different men, because that hasn't been my experience at all.

[Catwoman]

I disagree and I'll leave it at that. :)

Same here. :)