I posted about dd11 back in Dec (having what I believed to be anxiety issues--she has been seeing a counselor every other week since end of Dec, but we still have not heard any feedback from her....we thought we'd hear something this week, and the appt didn't happen. Supposedly she needed 5 sessions to evaluate (which means 2.5 months to evaluate!!!) Dd may be doing better, but its really hard to tell.)
Anyway, when dd started having the mental issues, I cut back on her schoolwork thinking that would relieve some stress. Unfortunately, dd wants to return to public school because she misses her friends (she did it for one year only--last year for 4th.) She is refusing schoolwork to force us to put her back in school. And...well, its beginning to work. However, the public school let her do nothing last year (since she was ahead), and this would be the last year in elementary school before she would attend a very rough middle school that I feel would be a very bad idea for her (particularly with the issues she is having.) I really don't want her to return. However, she's done very little schoolwork over the last 4 months, and I'm beginning to worry that I may not be able to avoid some other arrangement.
I'm attempting to have her do 2 pages of MM5 and Bravewriter/Faultering Ownership each day. It happens maybe 1-2 days per week, with possibly another 1-2 days over the weekend if there is a big enough carrot. She takes outside art, piano, and swim team, so she gets out of the house 4 days/week. I would like to add a co-op, but my part-time work prevents me from making this happen. She spends most of her time reading fiction, since she has no computer privileges (one of the carrots...that only works occasionally.) This work should be very easy for her...there is nothing remotely challenging, because I didn't want to stress her out. However, she's also not challenged/engaged with it, either. She was doing BA previously (successfully), but stated she'd rather do something easier, so I switched...then she refused even more! I can't win.
When she asked to return to homeschool she thought she could grade skip. (That was part of why she wanted to return home.) I convinced her that might not be in her best interest, since she'd be more likely to get scholarships if at the top of her grade level. But...maybe that would have been more motivating? She is totally unmotivated and uninterested in school at the moment. If I ask about interests she'd like to explore, she doesn't know. She likes music and art, but I don't think she'd particularly like art history or music history (maybe.) She says she likes science, but wasn't doing that either.
What should I do about the school refusal? Electronics/tv privileges are somewhat motivational, but not enough. I've tried hovering and refocusing her...she really shuts down with this. I've tried having her do jumping jacks for every 5 minutes she refuses. It worked temporarily. I've tried doing the work with her. She does not like working with me, and is not cooperative at all. If I tell her to sit down and work, she daydreams or draws. If I release her she reads (which is better than daydreaming.) She is smart enough to work around anything I try to motivate her.....so my thought is that she would work better for someone else (but there isn't a good solution/school for that!)