Jackie Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 DD is 6yo, will be 7 in May. She's fairly "intense" and anxious. Two completely separate things have popped to the surface this week and I'm wanting some input. Thing 1: She has wanted to do an overnight camp for the last couple of years. Begged for it. This summer, at age 7, there are camps that would take her. She is fiercely independent and being away from home/parents is not likely to be an especial problem for her. However, I don't know how she will react otherwise, especially if she struggles at anything skill-based, which is a major meltdown trigger. One of the camps available locally-ish specifically advertises on being able to handle mild behavioral and emotional issues. Am I crazy for even considering this? Thing 2: Movies. Oh, my. She wants to have movie nights, she professes to love movies. But any tension that is not immediately resolved results in many tears. We just watched Finding Dory and paused several times in the last 20 minutes because she was sobbing too much to see or hear. We don't do many movies as it is, and I'm fine with just not having movie nights. But as she continues to want to be able to watch them, any ideas for some level of desensitizing? For being able to empathize without taking it all in quite so deeply? She and I will be traveling beginning Saturday morning, so if I don't reply for a while, know that I'll still be reading when I have moments with Internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 One of the camps available locally-ish specifically advertises on being able to handle mild behavioral and emotional issues. Am I crazy for even considering this?I would go to the camp open house and chat with the staff that would be running the camp. What if they couldn't handle her meltdown, what would they do, are they going to call you to come and calm her down? My DS12 is the intense child and even my husband has a hard time calming him down. It was lots worse when DS12 was younger. Still there were local camp staff that are experienced in SN/intense kids and so we could send him to some day camps. The camp staff would call if they couldn't calm him down. He did not want overnight camps. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 She's 6 years old. I would wait a couple of years and take another look. I get tired of hearing camp counselors talk about upset little ones that don't get to call home because they will get used to camp and like it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Seems super young for overnight camp. For movies, I always felt the same way. That dramatic tension thing when the audience knows who the bad guy is but the good characters don't and the movie is mostly about the all the things that happen because they don't know who the bad guy is? I *hate* loathe loathe loathe that tension. On the other hand, things like Home Alone never bothered me - there's no dramatic tension like that there, even though there's a fair amount of violence and peril. You might try some gentler kids movies in that way - Totoro is good (the little girl is lost for a short while at the end, though); Cars is pretty good; Kiki's Delivery Service is good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellojwolford Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 We had the same trouble with movies here. But if my DS had read the book first, then he knew what to expect and enjoyed critiquing how well the movie matched the book. That said...avoid the movie about Padington bear! The lovely, sweet book was turned into a thriller for the big screen! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 We had the same trouble with movies here. But if my DS had read the book first, then he knew what to expect and enjoyed critiquing how well the movie matched the book. That said...avoid the movie about Padington bear! The lovely, sweet book was turned into a thriller for the big screen! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Books are just another issue here, and I can't predict it well. She recently went in for Harry Potter. I wondered if the end of the first book would put her off, but it didn't. I assumed the tension throughout book two would shut her down, but it didn't. She read through book four, watching the movies after each book, with zero issue. Then eight pages into book 5, she shut down. Harry had his wand confiscated, she can't see a way out of this one, so she's done with the entire series. Really? The graveyard scene in 4 doesn't push her over the edge, but the Ministry confiscating his wand does? Really? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Could you watch movies that are really just documentaries? Or is it that she wants to watch specific ones? Could it have nothing to do with camp or movies? This is about the time my son decided he wanted to play Pokemon, only he just acquired cards and was very unhappy when playing. He didn't seek out how to win or really do anything with the cards. When pressed, it wasn't about the cards at all. He wanted to seem normal. He wanted to be like what he thought kids were like and he knew he was different. Is she trying to live up to an image she created of a classic kid, only she doesn't fit the ficticious image so it really does not work at all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Posted February 10, 2017 Author Share Posted February 10, 2017 She wants... more? She often has some idea of what she is supposed to do or supposed to know or supposed to be or supposed to feel, and then puts so much pressure on herself to be/do that thing. And then either that becomes overwhelming or she believes she is failing at it and the entire tower collapses, often predicated on one tiny, insignificant thing. She doesn't want to be the classic kid, and has little conception of what that is. And she doesn't necessarily want to be best. But she has some picture of a "great kid" in her head that has no bearing on reality and that is what she is measuring against. Or at least that is what I've been able to piece together. She loves documentaries. That's been 9/10 of our movie nights for two years, and it mostly works. A few of those trigger her when they play on emotions, as in March of the Penguins. But she wants variety and she thinks the concept of movies is great. And some of it is just me not knowing what will trigger her, because I still find it so unpredictable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 My kid that wigs out at movies has a blanket to duck under and cover his ears. this is a big step up from his previous strategy of covering his ears, popping up and stomping around the room screaming OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN! If a book is too "weird" (his term for anything that makes him feel weird. Like your child, I can't necessarily predict what it will be.) he is permitted to stop reading it. I would not try a camp at that age, for this kind of kid, no. In my house, even if it worked out A-OK splendid, I'd be paying for the huge disruption to regular life for weeks afterward. Plus, if it didn't work out, it'd be $$$ down the drain PLUS who knows what kind of behavioral consequences. Now, what I MIGHT, maybe consider, is having a few sleepovers in a row at home, with known friends, if there were any known friends around to do that with. Set up tents in the livingroom or something. Or take a friend to go actual camping, family-style would be even better for me, and possibly kills a few birds with the one stone. Poor birds. Day camps seem like they come down on the decision-making balance on the "pro" side of things. At almost ten, the "weirdness" triggers in movies are ANY remote hints of romance. I mean like theeeeee most innocuous hints of romance! TBH, most of his teevee time is split between things like Cosmos and Peppa Pig or The Roosevelts and Bob the Builder (though you gotta watch, because Wendy is so clearly Bob's side piece...). When his mood is just right, he can enjoy a regular-for-his-age show. I just go with the flow. He's free to leave if we are watching something all together, but he's NOT free to interrupt everyone else. Hence, the blanket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 My kid that wigs out at movies has a blanket to duck under and cover his ears. this is a big step up from his previous strategy of covering his ears, popping up and stomping around the room screaming OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN! At almost ten, the "weirdness" triggers in movies are ANY remote hints of romance. I mean like theeeeee most innocuous hints of romance! TBH, most of his teevee time is split between things like Cosmos and Peppa Pig or The Roosevelts and Bob the Builder (though you gotta watch, because Wendy is so clearly Bob's side piece...). When his mood is just right, he can enjoy a regular-for-his-age show. I just go with the flow. He's free to leave if we are watching something all together, but he's NOT free to interrupt everyone else. Hence, the blanket. I have a kid who freaks out at TV/movies/audiobooks. He hates suspense in general, and has two additional triggers: bullying and romance. For bullying, it's instant tears and screeching. He feels so much empathy for the victim that he can't handle it. With romance, he just covers his ears and runs out of the room because he feels deep embarrassment. We are watching Adventure Time at the rate of 2-3 episodes per day, and pretty much every day he has to escape when Finn crushes on Princess Bubblegum. And all that ever happens is some awkward silence and pink cheeks, for the most part. On his own he watches Frontline, Nova, and the White Rabbit Project. He is also prone to meltdowns when he gets frustrated, and we tried day camp last summer when he was 8. He did OK, but had some episodes when he was worried about safety (while shooting rockets) and when someone crashed into him while playing a game, causing him to lose. I am hoping time & maturity keep smoothing those rough edges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 11, 2017 Share Posted February 11, 2017 (edited) DD is 6yo, will be 7 in May. She's fairly "intense" and anxious. Two completely separate things have popped to the surface this week and I'm wanting some input. Thing 1: She has wanted to do an overnight camp for the last couple of years. Begged for it. This summer, at age 7, there are camps that would take her. She is fiercely independent and being away from home/parents is not likely to be an especial problem for her. However, I don't know how she will react otherwise, especially if she struggles at anything skill-based, which is a major meltdown trigger. One of the camps available locally-ish specifically advertises on being able to handle mild behavioral and emotional issues. Am I crazy for even considering this? Thing 2: Movies. Oh, my. She wants to have movie nights, she professes to love movies. But any tension that is not immediately resolved results in many tears. We just watched Finding Dory and paused several times in the last 20 minutes because she was sobbing too much to see or hear. We don't do many movies as it is, and I'm fine with just not having movie nights. But as she continues to want to be able to watch them, any ideas for some level of desensitizing? For being able to empathize without taking it all in quite so deeply? She and I will be traveling beginning Saturday morning, so if I don't reply for a while, know that I'll still be reading when I have moments with Internet. I do not have an intense child, but I did have a sensitive one. When she wanted to do overnight camp, we went to family camp. Dh and I were dreading it. We thought it would be the cheesiest thing ever. BUT. It was fabulous! Sooooooo much fun! We have now been going to family camp for more than a decade. It gave our child the opportunity to have real camp but still sleep with her family. For movies, I shamelessly edited or sent the kid from the room for scary parts or gave detailed spoilers in advance. Our sensitive one appreciated the help avoiding the triggers. And over time, she learned to manage. She does not enjoy horror movies (and neither do I!) but she can cheerfully watch movies now (from about the teen years on). Edited to add--Our sensitive one who needed all this has no issues now. None. She traveled alone to South Africa to live and work for two months. She worked for three months at a remote camp up north. She is an empathetic soul, but she did outgrow those sensitivities. We are sooooo glad we didn't try to force her along (not that you are--just adding perspective as the mom of an adult). Edited February 11, 2017 by Harriet Vane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Posted February 11, 2017 Author Share Posted February 11, 2017 We've decided to nix overnight camp for this year. She's done day camps for the past two summers and hugely enjoys them and does well with them, so we'll continue this year and re-evaluate next year. There are no family camps anywhere near us, but we'll be moving over this summer, so maybe next year we'll be closer to something. We'll keep working on movies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Posted February 11, 2017 Author Share Posted February 11, 2017 (edited) Dp Edited February 11, 2017 by Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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