MEmama Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm done. If he won't listen, won't take advice and actually use it, willfully refuses help, intentionally makes things ten times harder and more convoluted than they need to be...then I resign. He knows it's going to backfire next year at high school. He knows it full well. And yet. I'm just.so.tired of feeling like I have no role, no way to get him past the self inflicted stubbornness. Just a few more months. I hope I make it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loesje22000 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm done. If he won't listen, won't take advice and actually use it, willfully refuses help, intentionally makes things ten times harder and more convoluted than they need to be...then I resign. He knows it's going to backfire next year at high school. He knows it full well. And yet. I'm just.so.tired of feeling like I have no role, no way to get him past the self inflicted stubbornness. Just a few more months. I hope I make it. ((((hugs)))) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 February seems to be starting early this year. Hugs, OP. No advice from me, just sympathy. I homeschooled a difficult stubborn child through grades 5-8, then he went back to high school for 9th and had a really difficult time. He ended up finishing the last two years of high school at home and it was a struggle all the way. Hugs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I feel your pain.....I just mentioned *gasp* public school :( (Hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) I'm done. My child, same age, is in public school. We're going through the same thing, every day. :grouphug: Edited January 17, 2017 by ErinE 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planner Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I see the age of your ds and that is the same age I sent my ds back to school. I was so tired of fighting him. He sometimes asks to homeschool again, but I remind him of why he was sent to school. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: My strong willed intense kid sleeps until noon usually so that I can get my downtime. This kid does so much better for others but we have some flops too for personal tutors that couldn't handle him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Shower, nap, sandwich. :) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 If he's going to brick and mortar school next year, I'd save myself a few months of misery and plop him in now. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm sorry! Is school this year a possibility? It can sometimes be an easier adjustment in 8th grade because most classes don't count toward high school, so they can take a little time figuring out everything. It's such a difficult situation. I hope it's just a rough day. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I am sorry. I might consider brick and mortar if it's at all possible. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm sorry! Is school this year a possibility? It can sometimes be an easier adjustment in 8th grade because most classes don't count toward high school, so they can take a little time figuring out everything. It's such a difficult situation. I hope it's just a rough day. I am having regrets that he didn't go to the middle school for 8th. He was adamant about staying home until high school, but public high has long been his plan. He's looking forward to it and I'm ready for the next phase of my life. I really think it's going to be positive all around--our high school is really good and offers plenty of challenging courses, the teachers are loved (mostly), the community supportive, and he will know lots of kids there. But. I am VERY worried about the first year. Days like today leave me thinking he *wants* the consequences of not putting in the effort he should, or of willfully putting it in the wrong place. I've been very clear about what the consequences will be, not in a threatening way, just being realistic. He *knows* I'm trying to help him prevent them, but it's falling on deaf ears. Well not exactly; he hears it, he just doesn't act on it. He's such a smart and academically minded kid by nature, but mostly his nature is on hiatus right now. I guess this is almost-14. It been a push-pull year, trying to eke what I can out of him and prepare him for next year while trying to respect that it's a tough age. I think it would be difficult to put him in ps now for just a few months. He'll be on a really different page right now, having not followed the courses they take, that I think it wouldn't make sense. It helps to hear that this is normal! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: I think of adolescence as all about crossing to safety. And based on the range of experiences that we and my friends with older kids have had... I almost believe it hardly matters, homeschool or public school or private school -- a significant proportion of all kinds of kids in all kinds of educational environments with all kinds of parents *still go through* a stormy time that is tremendously difficult on all sides. And most of them ultimately do cross safely to the other side and eventually reconnect. Keep the faith. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: I think of adolescence as all about crossing to safety. And based on the range of experiences that we and my friends with older kids have had... I almost believe it hardly matters, homeschool or public school or private school -- a significant proportion of all kinds of kids in all kinds of educational environments with all kinds of parents *still go through* a stormy time that is tremendously difficult on all sides. And most of them ultimately do cross safely to the other side and eventually reconnect. Keep the faith. Yes! Thank you!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 ((Hugs)) I know what you're going through. I also have a ds who knows everything, and needs no advice. Homeschooling was a struggle so I sent him to ps for 8th grade. The first 3 months were rough. Calls from the school rough :( But...it's looking up. He has A's in all but one class, and he's learning that he doesn't know it all. Even if the first few months of 9th are rough it will get better. You could send him for the rest of this year. It might be very eye opening for him. Or, he might do better than you think. Kelly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 i hear you, and hugs! my ds14 is similar--he won't listen but gets upset when he doesn't do as well as he expected. "Well, if you'd taken notes/studied/read the assigned readings/looked up info you weren't sure about"!!! So i get it. For us, it helps to lay down rules. He got a 65% on a spanish homework yesterday because he refused to double check it, and then moaned and groaned about how 'unfair' I was for enforcing the no do-over rule. :glare: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 (edited) (Hugs) Edited January 17, 2017 by displace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 i hear you, and hugs! my ds14 is similar--he won't listen but gets upset when he doesn't do as well as he expected. "Well, if you'd taken notes/studied/read the assigned readings/looked up info you weren't sure about"!!! So i get it. For us, it helps to lay down rules. He got a 65% on a spanish homework yesterday because he refused to double check it, and then moaned and groaned about how 'unfair' I was for enforcing the no do-over rule. :glare: This. Exactly. Why, why, why?!? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: Age 13 was the worst. Just really, really hard. And, for us, it was our first year homeschooling! Fifteen is soooo much better.... Not easy street every day, but really a lot better! Hang in there, and keep your emotional armor handy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Sound like a 13/14 year old. My ds was the same. 15 was SO much better and now, at 16, he is taking my advice about what works and doesn't--well, most of the time---or at least some of the time. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Fifteen is hell for us. Our rabbi calls it the tunnel of Hell and assures us he will emerge a human being in oh, about 5-10 years! And he's the oldest of four... :willy_nilly: :crying: :svengo: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 This is when I fired myself as a teacher and went online with A Beka. It was the smartest thing I ever did. Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I wa so frustrated with my son during 8th grade I printed out all the enrollment forms and filled them out. I then threw them in the garbage. 8th grade got done (though he refused to do Spanish) and I breathed a sigh of relief. Public school is not perfect but it is working for us. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Hugs Can I swap? Please 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I think it would be difficult to put him in ps now for just a few months. He'll be on a really different page right now, having not followed the courses they take, that I think it wouldn't make sense. Lots of kids enter a school for just a few months and even shorter periods of time. People move, quit homeschooling, change from private to public or vice versa. I wouldn't let that stop me. I'd be tempted to tell him he has to go now so that he can prove he will be ready to handle high school next year. Plus, it's always better to fail in 8th than in 9th. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Let it backfire. Let him fail. It is amazing how quickly one learns something when one is motivated. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 BTDT!!!!!!!!!! Hugs. And if it helps, my "I'm DONE" child is now thriving at community college 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 BTDT!!!!!!!!!! Hugs. And if it helps, my "I'm DONE" child is now thriving at community college And mine just came home from a full school day, walked into the office and started willingly working on homework. Without one word or reminder from me. She is also thriving in a school setting. This, the child who tearfully BEGGED me to homeschool her every morning from September through December of her 4th grade year. It is amazing how much better she works for others. It's like two totally different work ethic personalities inhabit one body. I decided our mother-daughter relationship was not worth the fight. I do not regret this decision one bit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 :grouphug: I think of adolescence as all about crossing to safety. And based on the range of experiences that we and my friends with older kids have had... I almost believe it hardly matters, homeschool or public school or private school -- a significant proportion of all kinds of kids in all kinds of educational environments with all kinds of parents *still go through* a stormy time that is tremendously difficult on all sides. And most of them ultimately do cross safely to the other side and eventually reconnect. Keep the faith. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: TOTALLY agree! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 All the comments about 15/16 being better than 13/14 are giving me hope today. So nice to have this community on days like this. Hang in there OP! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 BTDT!!!!!!!!!! Hugs. And if it helps, my "I'm DONE" child is now thriving at community college Mine too! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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