displace Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 :(. I'm sorry. Your due date may be painful, as well as other dates. That was nice you stopped to see the nurses. Don't feel obligated though. Everyone grieves differently and they don't expect anything from patients (though I bet they appreciated it). I'm glad you likely have no lasting physical complications. Praying for you all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Thinking of you and your DS and family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 Thinking of you and your DS and family. Thank you. We seem to have found a new normal and are functioning pretty well. We all mention him from time to time. 3yo is adamant that Baby Nate is still his little brother and that he has absolutely transitioned to big brother status, which is sweet. Nate's due date is coming up this weekend. He'd have been three months old the other day and just starting to look like my other newborns. My forever newborn. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenn in FL Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Thank you. We seem to have found a new normal and are functioning pretty well. We all mention him from time to time. 3yo is adamant that Baby Nate is still his little brother and that he has absolutely transitioned to big brother status, which is sweet. Nate's due date is coming up this weekend. He'd have been three months old the other day and just starting to look like my other newborns. My forever newborn. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: So beautifully and lovingly expressed... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Many thoughts going out to you and your forever newborn. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Hugs. Really. I think of you every day. I'm so glad your little boy has taken on his big brother status. It may hurt, but it's true. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Prayers being said..... ((hugs)) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Your posts move me so much. Thinking of you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 I know it's very hard but know that there are so many prayers and good thoughts going your way, mine included. Hugs. Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Thinking of you and your family. Prayers and hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Saying a prayer for comfort this weekend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Saying a prayer for comfort this weekend. Ditto. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 You ladies are awesome. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caclcoca Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Thinking about you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 ((((Hugs))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Hugs and prayers from us too :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Thinking of you this weekend and sending all my comforting prayers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Praying for you, too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Thinking of you and praying for your family this weekend! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Thinking of you this weekend :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 Thinking of and praying for your family this Easter (if you celebrate/observe it). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted April 16, 2017 Author Share Posted April 16, 2017 Thinking of and praying for your family this Easter (if you celebrate/observe it). Thank you! We do celebrate Easter, and normally it's my favorite holiday. This year I am not up for much. My (40th) birthday was earlier this week, and between that and Easter, it's been very obvious that someone is missing, so it's been hard. At the same time, I am especially grateful for the Resurrection this year because of its gift of eternal life. And how beautiful for Nate to celebrate Easter in Heaven! 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 That's such a sweet thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 Happy belated birthday. I'm so sorry and hope you have a peaceful day. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 Thank you! We do celebrate Easter, and normally it's my favorite holiday. This year I am not up for much. My (40th) birthday was earlier this week, and between that and Easter, it's been very obvious that someone is missing, so it's been hard. At the same time, I am especially grateful for the Resurrection this year because of its gift of eternal life. And how beautiful for Nate to celebrate Easter in Heaven! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I was thinking of you this holiday weekend. God cannot, by definition, perform evil acts, but he can turn them to good in His way. I've had three miscarriages, which I know is not the same as losing your sweet baby, but I mention it because I believe part of my heaven will be rocking those babies, because I cannot imagine a heaven without that sweet baby smell and warmth and weight in my arms. I'm sure that rocking and nursing and cuddling your Nate will be a part of heaven for you, as well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 just letting you know I'm thinking of you today, and praying for you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 Thinking of you as Mother's Day approaches. Prayers for you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Many hugs for you this weekend. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 Thank you! It is a bittersweet weekend, for sure. I am grateful that I got the chance to be his mommy at all and that I will get to be his mommy forever. :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 I can't believe it's been nine months since I started this monstrous thread. I read through some of the responses and teared up, remembering how kind and compassionate and informative all of you have been to me. I don't think you'll ever know how much it's all meant to me. I am blessed beyond measure. We continue to get through the days. Some are harder than others. I miss Nate every second of every hour, but at least my brain can now multitask and think of other things too. 3-now4yo still talks about Nate, still asks Jesus to bring him back to life, tells people that his little bwuvver died, asserts that he maintains his own big bwuvver status. But he is able to be happy, as am I, so I know he is not dwelling inappropriately. All of the kids keep asking for another baby, preferably twins. I think this week the prevailing wish is for a little sister. I'm pretty stable, health wise; my BP is pretty decent (morning diastolics and occasionally evening ones are a little volatile but generally under the threshold), and my c-section scar hardly bothers me at all anymore. Cardiology follow-up said things look good and they are bowing out of my care in favor of nephrology. Nephrology says my kidneys are great, and that that factor for preeclampsia is no worse than anyone in the general population, so that's pretty good news. They will see me again in a year or sooner if I get pregnant, and they'll work with MFM on BP protocols. I'm hoping to talk to MFM in a couple of months about a next time, and then we shall see what DH and I can decide on. We took a lovely long summer break and are having a smoother school year, plus we just are starting more major renovations on this old house, which lifts my spirits. I am sad about how it all ended up, but whenever I feel too sad, I can't help but just be grateful that I got so much more than I could have, and really gratitude is what ends up sticking. I finally donated two huge boxes of milk to the milk bank, and today I got an invitation to their open house where parents get to put gold leaves with their babies' names on their bereavement tree. I can't make it, but I'm so glad Nate's name will be there forever. We also have the form from our library to donate a book in his name for his birthday, which is what the older children said they wanted to do. My parents bonded with the children so much while they were here and miss them terribly. So many blessings. I have found a ton of comfort and an outlet to reach out to other moms on the FB preeclampsia forum, and that does help to heal my heart. I am trying not to think about fall and winter coming too much though. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks to all of you who have been holding us up. There can never be enough thank yous. 39 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I remember Nate's birth, and wishing so hard for him to make it against the odds, and being so sad when he was only here for a little while. I'm glad you're getting through the days okay. The time of year my dad unexpectedly got sick and died is always a sort of bittersweet time now for me (spring), so I understand what you mean about not thinking about the coming winter. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I'm still praying for your family, and I appreciate your update. It sounds like you guys are doing as well as can be expected, despite the overwhelming sadness about little Nate. Eternalsummer expressed my feelings exactly, and just seeing this thread again made me remember being almost obsessive about checking for updates on how Nate was doing, and praying for a miracle even when things were at their worst. I will always remember you telling us how you sang him bedtime songs and how glad you were when Mercy told you where to find the Pooh book and The Little Engine that Could book online so you could read them to Nate. :crying: I'll keep Nate and your whole family in my prayers. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I'm sorry you are still grieving but it sounds like you are doing well considering. The renovation project sounds fun. Your 4 year old sounds precious! I don't think you will ever stop thinking about Nate and what might have been. I'll say a prayer for you today. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 (edited) Hugs to you, dear mama. Edited September 19, 2017 by Quill 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I don't have any words that make sense or will help, but know that you are loved by so very many here, and more than that, so is Nate. He may not be with us here on earth but that little boy will never be forgotten, and he is loved by so very many people. We all look forward to meeting him one day. Hugs. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Hugs to you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Hugs. Still listening. Still caring. So glad there are positives and things to be grateful for. Thank you for sharing. Nate mattered. He won't be forgotten. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I can't believe it's been nine months since I started this monstrous thread. I read through some of the responses and teared up, remembering how kind and compassionate and informative all of you have been to me. I don't think you'll ever know how much it's all meant to me. I am blessed beyond measure. We continue to get through the days. Some are harder than others. I miss Nate every second of every hour, but at least my brain can now multitask and think of other things too. 3-now4yo still talks about Nate, still asks Jesus to bring him back to life, tells people that his little bwuvver died, asserts that he maintains his own big bwuvver status. But he is able to be happy, as am I, so I know he is not dwelling inappropriately. All of the kids keep asking for another baby, preferably twins. I think this week the prevailing wish is for a little sister. I'm pretty stable, health wise; my BP is pretty decent (morning diastolics and occasionally evening ones are a little volatile but generally under the threshold), and my c-section scar hardly bothers me at all anymore. Cardiology follow-up said things look good and they are bowing out of my care in favor of nephrology. Nephrology says my kidneys are great, and that that factor for preeclampsia is no worse than anyone in the general population, so that's pretty good news. They will see me again in a year or sooner if I get pregnant, and they'll work with MFM on BP protocols. I'm hoping to talk to MFM in a couple of months about a next time, and then we shall see what DH and I can decide on. We took a lovely long summer break and are having a smoother school year, plus we just are starting more major renovations on this old house, which lifts my spirits. I am sad about how it all ended up, but whenever I feel too sad, I can't help but just be grateful that I got so much more than I could have, and really gratitude is what ends up sticking. I finally donated two huge boxes of milk to the milk bank, and today I got an invitation to their open house where parents get to put gold leaves with their babies' names on their bereavement tree. I can't make it, but I'm so glad Nate's name will be there forever. We also have the form from our library to donate a book in his name for his birthday, which is what the older children said they wanted to do. My parents bonded with the children so much while they were here and miss them terribly. So many blessings. I have found a ton of comfort and an outlet to reach out to other moms on the FB preeclampsia forum, and that does help to heal my heart. I am trying not to think about fall and winter coming too much though. Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks to all of you who have been holding us up. There can never be enough thank yous. (((hugs))) Your post just makes me cry. I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy, your son. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Hugs to you and your sweet family. I think of your little Nate often. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Thank you so much for the update. Love to you and your family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: Thank you for the update. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Thank you for the update. Continued prayers for you and your family as you remember him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 :grouphug: Thank you so much for the update. I've been wondering how you all are doing and you answered my "thought questions" to a T. I sincerely wish you all the best as you ponder your future and am glad to hear there have been some positives you can cling to from Nate's short life. Still... the :grouphug: are sent your way for a reason. Being a parent is tough - way too tough sometimes. I'm glad you were there for Nate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Thank you for taking the time to update us. You are never far from my mind. Sending some hugs and prayers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I'm glad your body is healing. It may be too soon, but Oct 15 is miscarriage and infant loss memorial. Some cities have candle or balloon vigils. (Hugs) and prayers for peace. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 Many (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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