Jump to content

Menu

UPDATE post 118 Help me make hospital and NICU as good as possible


happypamama
 Share

Recommended Posts

:(. I'm sorry. Your due date may be painful, as well as other dates. That was nice you stopped to see the nurses. Don't feel obligated though. Everyone grieves differently and they don't expect anything from patients (though I bet they appreciated it).

 

I'm glad you likely have no lasting physical complications. Praying for you all.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Thinking of you and your DS and family.

Thank you. We seem to have found a new normal and are functioning pretty well. We all mention him from time to time. 3yo is adamant that Baby Nate is still his little brother and that he has absolutely transitioned to big brother status, which is sweet.

 

Nate's due date is coming up this weekend. He'd have been three months old the other day and just starting to look like my other newborns. My forever newborn.

  • Like 20
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you. We seem to have found a new normal and are functioning pretty well. We all mention him from time to time. 3yo is adamant that Baby Nate is still his little brother and that he has absolutely transitioned to big brother status, which is sweet.

 

Nate's due date is coming up this weekend. He'd have been three months old the other day and just starting to look like my other newborns. My forever newborn.

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

So beautifully and lovingly expressed...

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Thinking of and praying for your family this Easter (if you celebrate/observe it).

Thank you! We do celebrate Easter, and normally it's my favorite holiday. This year I am not up for much. My (40th) birthday was earlier this week, and between that and Easter, it's been very obvious that someone is missing, so it's been hard. At the same time, I am especially grateful for the Resurrection this year because of its gift of eternal life. And how beautiful for Nate to celebrate Easter in Heaven!

  • Like 14
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you! We do celebrate Easter, and normally it's my favorite holiday. This year I am not up for much. My (40th) birthday was earlier this week, and between that and Easter, it's been very obvious that someone is missing, so it's been hard. At the same time, I am especially grateful for the Resurrection this year because of its gift of eternal life. And how beautiful for Nate to celebrate Easter in Heaven!

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   I was thinking of you this holiday weekend.  

 

God cannot, by definition, perform evil acts, but he can turn them to good in His way.  I've had three miscarriages, which I know is not the same as losing your sweet baby, but I mention it because I believe part of my heaven will be rocking those babies, because I cannot imagine a heaven without that sweet baby smell and warmth and weight in my arms.  I'm sure that rocking and nursing and cuddling your Nate will be a part of heaven for you, as well.  

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...

I can't believe it's been nine months since I started this monstrous thread. I read through some of the responses and teared up, remembering how kind and compassionate and informative all of you have been to me. I don't think you'll ever know how much it's all meant to me. I am blessed beyond measure. We continue to get through the days. Some are harder than others. I miss Nate every second of every hour, but at least my brain can now multitask and think of other things too. 3-now4yo still talks about Nate, still asks Jesus to bring him back to life, tells people that his little bwuvver died, asserts that he maintains his own big bwuvver status. But he is able to be happy, as am I, so I know he is not dwelling inappropriately. All of the kids keep asking for another baby, preferably twins. I think this week the prevailing wish is for a little sister. I'm pretty stable, health wise; my BP is pretty decent (morning diastolics and occasionally evening ones are a little volatile but generally under the threshold), and my c-section scar hardly bothers me at all anymore. Cardiology follow-up said things look good and they are bowing out of my care in favor of nephrology. Nephrology says my kidneys are great, and that that factor for preeclampsia is no worse than anyone in the general population, so that's pretty good news. They will see me again in a year or sooner if I get pregnant, and they'll work with MFM on BP protocols. I'm hoping to talk to MFM in a couple of months about a next time, and then we shall see what DH and I can decide on. We took a lovely long summer break and are having a smoother school year, plus we just are starting more major renovations on this old house, which lifts my spirits. I am sad about how it all ended up, but whenever I feel too sad, I can't help but just be grateful that I got so much more than I could have, and really gratitude is what ends up sticking. I finally donated two huge boxes of milk to the milk bank, and today I got an invitation to their open house where parents get to put gold leaves with their babies' names on their bereavement tree. I can't make it, but I'm so glad Nate's name will be there forever. We also have the form from our library to donate a book in his name for his birthday, which is what the older children said they wanted to do. My parents bonded with the children so much while they were here and miss them terribly. So many blessings. I have found a ton of comfort and an outlet to reach out to other moms on the FB preeclampsia forum, and that does help to heal my heart. I am trying not to think about fall and winter coming too much though.

 

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks to all of you who have been holding us up. There can never be enough thank yous.

  • Like 39
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I remember Nate's birth, and wishing so hard for him to make it against the odds, and being so sad when he was only here for a little while.  I'm glad you're getting through the days okay.  The time of year my dad unexpectedly got sick and died is always a sort of bittersweet time now for me (spring), so I understand what you mean about not thinking about the coming winter.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm still praying for your family, and I appreciate your update. It sounds like you guys are doing as well as can be expected, despite the overwhelming sadness about little Nate.

 

Eternalsummer expressed my feelings exactly, and just seeing this thread again made me remember being almost obsessive about checking for updates on how Nate was doing, and praying for a miracle even when things were at their worst. I will always remember you telling us how you sang him bedtime songs and how glad you were when Mercy told you where to find the Pooh book and The Little Engine that Could book online so you could read them to Nate. :crying:

 

I'll keep Nate and your whole family in my prayers. :grouphug:

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you are still grieving but it sounds like you are doing well considering. The renovation project sounds fun. Your 4 year old sounds precious!

 

I don't think you will ever stop thinking about Nate and what might have been. I'll say a prayer for you today.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't have any words that make sense or will help, but know that you are loved by so very many here, and more than that, so is Nate. He may not be with us here on earth but that little boy will never be forgotten, and he is loved by so very many people. We all look forward to meeting him one day. Hugs. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't believe it's been nine months since I started this monstrous thread. I read through some of the responses and teared up, remembering how kind and compassionate and informative all of you have been to me. I don't think you'll ever know how much it's all meant to me. I am blessed beyond measure. We continue to get through the days. Some are harder than others. I miss Nate every second of every hour, but at least my brain can now multitask and think of other things too. 3-now4yo still talks about Nate, still asks Jesus to bring him back to life, tells people that his little bwuvver died, asserts that he maintains his own big bwuvver status. But he is able to be happy, as am I, so I know he is not dwelling inappropriately. All of the kids keep asking for another baby, preferably twins. I think this week the prevailing wish is for a little sister. I'm pretty stable, health wise; my BP is pretty decent (morning diastolics and occasionally evening ones are a little volatile but generally under the threshold), and my c-section scar hardly bothers me at all anymore. Cardiology follow-up said things look good and they are bowing out of my care in favor of nephrology. Nephrology says my kidneys are great, and that that factor for preeclampsia is no worse than anyone in the general population, so that's pretty good news. They will see me again in a year or sooner if I get pregnant, and they'll work with MFM on BP protocols. I'm hoping to talk to MFM in a couple of months about a next time, and then we shall see what DH and I can decide on. We took a lovely long summer break and are having a smoother school year, plus we just are starting more major renovations on this old house, which lifts my spirits. I am sad about how it all ended up, but whenever I feel too sad, I can't help but just be grateful that I got so much more than I could have, and really gratitude is what ends up sticking. I finally donated two huge boxes of milk to the milk bank, and today I got an invitation to their open house where parents get to put gold leaves with their babies' names on their bereavement tree. I can't make it, but I'm so glad Nate's name will be there forever. We also have the form from our library to donate a book in his name for his birthday, which is what the older children said they wanted to do. My parents bonded with the children so much while they were here and miss them terribly. So many blessings. I have found a ton of comfort and an outlet to reach out to other moms on the FB preeclampsia forum, and that does help to heal my heart. I am trying not to think about fall and winter coming too much though.

 

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks to all of you who have been holding us up. There can never be enough thank yous.

  (((hugs))) Your post just makes me cry. I am so sorry for the loss of your little boy, your son. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug: Thank you so much for the update.  I've been wondering how you all are doing and you answered my "thought questions" to a T.  I sincerely wish you all the best as you ponder your future and am glad to hear there have been some positives you can cling to from Nate's short life.  Still... the  :grouphug: are sent your way for a reason.  Being a parent is tough - way too tough sometimes.  I'm glad you were there for Nate.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...