Jump to content

Menu

Would you travel alone....or just you and the kids?


Ottakee
 Share

Recommended Posts

Would you travel on your own or just you and the kids?

 

I ask as someone today commented on the fact that I flew to Florida with my 2 girls (older but special needs) to meet their biological siblings and drove all over on my own. I take precautions and am thankful for lane assist GPS (we are in bigger cities).

 

This is our 2nd trip here and last year I also took the girls to New Mexico and Texas...places we had never been.

 

Other than wishing I had a good copilot at times, I really didn't think it was that difficult. With a good smart phone and a good GPS I would do something like this again.

 

How about you?

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dh does give his blessing. He isn't a huge traveler and I am enjoying it. He also doesn't mind staying home with the boys as esp this trip they would just not enjoy.

 

I am not sure I am up to a 12-13 hour drive in one day alone with all 5 kids so hoping dh can join me for that trip.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have and would not hesitate, assuming I was normally able to handle everyone's needs on my own.

 

When I travel with my kids, I'm usually also with friends, which is nice.  But it isn't necessary.

 

My pre-kids job had me traveling about 50% of the time, usually on my own, and I generally enjoyed it.

 

I usually don't use a GPS but rather printed maps / directions.  That said, it's nice to be able to fall back on GPS (on my iphone) when something doesn't go as expected.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love traveling and willingly do it alone or with just the kids. It's all good.

 

When they were little, I took a two-week jaunt across the country with the two kids. It was such a lovely time! And since then, we have had many more road trips. Through high school with dd it was often for speech tournaments or college visits. Now I am starting the college visits with ds and treasuring our time together.

 

When I am the sole driver, I just make sure to take active breaks. About every two hours we pull over for a walk and perhaps some frisbee or kick a ball around. Often I hit a slump mid-day. When that happens, I pull into a rest area and sleep with the seat reclined for about fifteen minutes. Then a brisk walk and I am good for the rest of the day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Absolutely! Last year I took my three kids (then 1, 4, 11) on a 3-week road trip and it was awesome. We did meet up with my husband midway for a about 5-days, but the rest were just me and the kids. This coming spring I'll be driving them across country and back, meeting up with my husband in Nashville where he'll join us on the road for a couple weeks.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

DH rarely gets permission to take vacation time (even on the mandatory companywide closure week he has to work from home) so he hardly ever comes with the kids and me. I flew with them to Tokyo for my brother's wedding last spring. I didn't drive while I was there but I schlepped around with them on public transit.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have taken the kids on a couple of small trips with just me and them but only because I've not had the opportunity to go on a longer trip. I'd be ok with it. I'd just make sure the car (if it's a car trip) was up to date on oil changes and the like and I'd be sure to have my AAA card at the ready.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have quite a bit. The part that makes me nervous is driving on the interstate in the middle of nowhere. I have 4 kids (some still in car seats) and me. If we break down, how will we get to a town? I'm not leaving any of my kids alone and most vehicles don't seat 5 extra people.

 

The last two road trips I took alone had extreme temperatures and that made it more difficult. One was so super hot and the other was freezing. It was fine, but I would normally leave my kids in the locked car if I just have to run to the bathroom. No way could I do that in those temps. The time it was cold we stayed in a hotel and the logistics of loading and unloading the car were hard, but it was ok.

 

It so far doesn't feel like vacation when I take my kids alone, but we have lots of good memories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Would you travel on your own or just you and the kids?

 

I ask as someone today commented on the fact that I flew to Florida with my 2 girls (older but special needs) to meet their biological siblings and drove all over on my own. I take precautions and am thankful for lane assist GPS (we are in bigger cities).

 

This is our 2nd trip here and last year I also took the girls to New Mexico and Texas...places we had never been.

 

Other than wishing I had a good copilot at times, I really didn't think it was that difficult. With a good smart phone and a good GPS I would do something like this again.

 

How about you?

 

Yes, I've traveled with my kids, as has dh; we've also each traveled solo sans kids and of course sometimes we're all together.  

When I encounter people who comment on me travelling alone with kids in tow, its usually because the people don't really travel at all.  Lots of people in my suburb rarely even go into our local city, though it's only 20 minutes away and has world-class museums, great shopping, and all kinds of other things to do.  I think if you're a traveller, you generally have some travel skills. You know how to use a map, feel reasonably good about winging it on public transport, are willing to seek out help, perhaps even from a stranger, if you need it. You are willing to get lost and figure out how to recover from it.  There are all kinds of little things travellers might not even realize they have learned.  For example, it didn't occur to me that just because I knew how to park in a city parking garage, that my FIL probably did too.  He didn't, and we had an awkward family moment around his discomfort.)  If you don't have the skills, *and* you are caring for young children, it can be a steep learning curve, which is more complicated if you have kids in tow.

Edited by justasque
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm comfortable traveling alone or alone with my kids, though I generally prefer it when my husband comes along too because I enjoy his company.  And of course when our kids were younger, it was certainly easier having another adult.  

 

Now that our kids are older, I sometimes take trips alone to meet up with old friends or our kids who live out of state.

 

However, I do understand that some people aren't comfortable with that.  We currently live in a rural area, 150 miles away from a big city.  I have several friends here who would never even consider driving to the "big city" because they are too afraid of driving on city freeways.  They also wouldn't feel comfortable flying alone, or staying in a hotel alone.  They're just not used to it.

 

When I had to drive my family hundreds of miles to Chicago, many people here were so very worried for us!  My dh was sick and wasn't able to help at all, and it was up to my older dd's and me to navigate it all, but of course it was fine.  I think when you're from a rural area, you're more likely to run into people who are uncomfortable with traveling.

Edited by J-rap
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I have and will continue to do so. When I was 15 and my sister was 12, my mom took us on a driving trip around the perimeter of the country last lasted seven weeks. My grandfather was sure that we would all be murdered in our sleep, but we are all still alive and well. Sometimes taking off just you and the kids is the only way to make sure traveling happens.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, I've traveled with my kids, as has dh; we've also each traveled solo sans kids and of course sometimes we're all together.

When I encounter people who comment on me travelling alone with kids in tow, its usually because the people don't really travel at all. Lots of people in my suburb rarely even go into our local city, though it's only 20 minutes away and has world-class museums, great shopping, and all kinds of other things to do. I think if you're a traveller, you generally have some travel skills. You know how to use a map, feel reasonably good about winging it on public transport, are willing to seek out help, perhaps even from a stranger, if you need it. You are willing to get lost and figure out how to recover from it. There are all kinds of little things travellers might not even realize they have learned. For example, it didn't occur to me that just because I knew how to park in a city parking garage, that he probably did too. He didn't, and we had an awkward family moment around his discomfort.) If you don't have the skills, *and* you are caring for young children, it can be a steep learning curve, which is more complicated if you have kids in tow.

I think this is totally true. I posted that I was nervous taking my kids to Germany. I'm not actually nervous about Germany, but I don't speak German, have never been to Europe, etc. Learning it all while also taking care of kids makes me nervous. I was nervous going to Chicago with them alone, but it was great. Lots of people thought I was crazy to do that, but they are people who live in my suburb and rarely(if ever) go to the city (maybe 20 minutes away). Or they go stay at their mom's house if their DH is away for the night. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I probably would too if my mom lived close. I love going to my mom's.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I prefer traveling with my husband most of all, he's my favorite person in the world. But I've done both short and long trips alone and with the kids without him, it's no big deal even when they're little.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would. I rarely do, because money, but when I was an exchange student in Thailand I've taken a bus alone to go from one province through another to a 3rd province, twice, and I've been a truck driver (48 states + Canada, though they didn't send me to all 48), and I've flown to NYC to apply for my passport alone (and wandered about the city while I was there).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Of course. I have been traveling by myself since I was 16. And I have been driving for over 30 years. The idea that I would need my husband's blessing to do so seems weird to me.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It isn't getting his permission but rather his support of the idea because as a team this affects him as well....our finances, he is left home alone with 3 other kids with special needs, etc.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It isn't getting his permission but rather his support of the idea because as a team this affects him as well....our finances, he is left home alone with 3 other kids with special needs, etc.

 

Financially, it wouldn't matter if I got myself a fancy new $$$ whatever, or traveled alone or with the kids. So, then the question would be, would I leave my spouse alone with the kids. Which, well, depends on circumstances, but yes, I would. They're spouse's kids too. But I wouldn't just up and leave alone on vacation during a busy time at work for my spouse. But if it's relatively quiet (spouse can work from home), or spouse is taking time off, sure, why not? Spouse has left me home alone with the kids while traveling - I'd be happy to return the favor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All the time. Pre-kids, I traveled around the US and Europe on my own, no friends, no tour guide, usually no real itinerary. Once I had kids, I often flew or drove long distances with them on my own if DH was working (or now, when a bad back keeps him from long trips). I tend to plan more with kids in tow, at least when they were young. Now that they are teens, I can have a looser schedule.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No.  Hubby and I both love traveling way too much.  We started traveling together before we were married way back in our college days.  Neither one of us would want to be left at home, so we only travel together (aside from a rare trip to parents or a rare work trip).  We can easily plan our trips around times he must be here to work (or I must be here to work), so that's what we do.  Going together has given us oodles of fun couple and family memories.  It wouldn't be nearly as nice if we had split up to take the kids places - or even if either of us traveled places alone.  It's far more fun, rewarding, and lasting when we go together and have shared memories ever after.

 

If our situation were different and he didn't want to travel - or something happened and he weren't around - then yes, I have no qualms going by myself.  I suspect he'd say the same.

 

But IRL, we absolutely love that we enjoy each others company and doing things like traveling together.  I guess perhaps it's that soulmate thing.

 

When our kids were home we only took our annual anniversary trip without them.  Every other trip they've gone along with us from babyhood on.  No regrets at all.  Now that we're empty nesting and go places just as a couple one of the things we really miss is exploring with our kids.  All of us share our experiences verbally, of course, but that's definitely a step down from sharing them IRL and then being able to enjoy talking about places.  I honestly can't fathom traveling without hubby as long as we're married (again, not counting trips to parents or work trips when those are needed and we can't both go for one reason or another).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It isn't getting his permission but rather his support of the idea because as a team this affects him as well....our finances, he is left home alone with 3 other kids with special needs, etc.

OK. I don't take trips that don't fit our budget. Dh is in on the planning finance wise. So when I saved for a trip to universal studios a year and a half ago he was aware of the plan and he wanted dc to have the experience. When I upgraded camping equipment he knew it was for beach trips he doesn't go on. He wants to kids to have fun experiences, he knows I try hard to make trips economical, so a few camping things make that easier and he was happy with that.

 

If I leave our ds who is intellectually disabled home I help dh plan for it. I help him figure out if he needs care help while he goes to work, ect. And make contact with caregivers who might come hang out with ds.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have and do. DH has long-standing medical problems. If he's able to travel, it's only once a year if that. Even locally, he doesn't get around much.

 

Last summer we went by plane to visit relatives on the other coast. 

 

In a few weeks we have two trips planned by train into the city to go to museums we haven't hit in awhile.

 

It's all good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would and do. I have family members and friends that never travel or really do anything alone with their kids. If they go to the aquarium or zoo, it's on a day off for their dh. That's not my style at all.

 

They may be like us where hubby really wants to go to the aquarium or zoo... it hardly seems fair to go without him when that's the case.  "Sorry honey, we need you to go to work so we can have fun!"

 

If he doesn't want to go, then that's different, of course.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Would and have on many occasions.  Heck, I flew from Africa to the US for college all on my own and traveled all through my 20s to various countries, on my own.

 

Since kids we haven't been able to afford to go overseas much but I have flown and driven places with them on multiple occasions without my husband.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes. My husband is a retired military officer who did 5 deployments in the first 6 years of my son's life. If I had waited for my DH to be home to travel I would have been stuck at home for 6 years. Instead I had a great time visiting family (including international flights when DS was a baby), meeting DH in Hong Kong while he was there on a port call, camping with friends, and flying across the country to stay with my best friend for weeks. I was less inclined to do really long road trips just because my son's age at the time made it no fun, but now at age 9 would not be a problem. Flights were never a big deal.

 

It wouldn't even occur to me to limit solo travel without kids. Before we had DS I had to travel quite a bit for work and graduate school.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...