Advice greatly appreciated....

[3sweetpeaches]

DD1 is in 8th grade and writing level is about 4th grade level.  

She is in public school regular classes (has a twin same school but in all gifted classes)  DD1 is our athletic child excels in her sport -- academics have always been a struggle.  In school assignments she panics and is so sweet that the teachers or classmates have been "helping" her so much that they seem to be actually doing the work for her.  At home she cries doing homework and we all having been helping one hw assignment at a time her but she isn't progressing / retaining. 

She will be starting early release next semester where she will go to school half day and do two subjects at home.  This will give us time for me to work with her one on one at home while keeping her in school with twin for the things she loves.  Hoping to build her skill set and confidence before starting high school next year. Feel awful I missed just how far behind she is!  How much can you catch up? Reading below level too but not so bad that she fails anything

What program would you recommend we do?  I've ben looking at the WWS1 ... Is it ok for older children?  Any other programs ? Where would you start?  Thank you for reading - feeling overwhelmed and just sick we've let her get so far behind. 

[maize]

You need to start by getting full evaluations for her, it sounds like there may be some undiagnosed learning difficulties. Contact her school this week with a written request for evaluation, they are legally required to respond within a certain time frame.

 

If you can afford private evaluations by a neuropsychologist those would also be helpful, sometimes insurance will cover part or all of the evaluation.

 

You need to know what you are dealing with before you start remediating.

 

Kids with learning difficulties often develop anxiety because of their constant stress over trying to meet expectations that are inappropriate for them.

 

Welcome to the boards!

Edited December 6, 2016 by maize

[Jean in Newcastle]

Definitely get her evaluated. Unless you know what learning difficulties she has, you can't really help her.

 

 

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[maize]

Also wanted to say, you may find you are dealing with a twice exceptional kid--learning challenges not infrequently mask giftedness; evaluations may uncover some serious strengths along with whatever her week areas are. Some things that evaluations might turn up include dyslexia (can be present even if a child has learned to read), working memory or processing speed difficulties, auditory processing difficulties, dysgraphia, attention deficits, etc. It may also be that something like chronic anxiety is itself a source of learning difficulties.

 

Good luck, your dd is fortunate to have you on her side.

Edited December 6, 2016 by maize

[3sweetpeaches]

Oh Thank you so much!!!  In tears as I sit here googling all the signs of dyslexia in teens - she has almost every one of them!  Even not getting  "puns" and having us explain jokes.  Feel sick - her sport success has been a huge distraction. We've been telling ourselves and her how each person has their own strengths and work with them etc. Her sister and brother are hopeless athletically so it's been her way to shine while getting by academically.  Will see if we can get her tested by the school asap or see cost of doing it privately over the Christmas break.  Very scary - as much as knowing what has been going on will be key I will also be dealing with DH who doesn't want her labeled and then daunting road ahead of how to help her.

Thank you so much for your quick insightful responses!! 

[maize]

Fear of labels is common among parents. If you talk to people who have dealt with learning challenges themselves, however, diagnosis is almost always a huge relief and a blessing. Lack of official diagnosis doesn't mean a kid doesn't get a label--it just means that the labels they get are not helpful; labels like "lazy", "dumb", "not trying", "not meeting potential", "failure"; even when other people don't throw these labels at them the struggling kids often take them on themselves--they have to explain their failures somehow.

 

One of my sisters was diagnosed as dyslexic in high school and she says that receiving the proper diagnosis was one of the best things that ever happened to her.

 

See if your library has the book "The Dyslexic Advantage", that can be a good one for both parents and teens to read; it shows that while dyslexic folks have real difficulties they also have some real strengths to tap into.

 

Do get the ball rolling on evaluations now, they can take months to arrange.

Edited December 6, 2016 by maize

[displace]

I also would strongly recommend immediate testing. You can request through school, but they will take 60 days and may or may not find what is necessary. If you're planning on pulling to homeschool soon it's your choice whether to pursue school testing. Private testing will probably also take a month or two. You can seek a Neuropsych through a children's hospital (probably your best bet).

 

Whether she's labeled or not is irrelevant. Knowledge is power, especially for kids with differences. Everyone involved in her education needs to know what she needs best to learn. The only way to find that out is by evaluating.

[displace]

If there's any trouble writing at all, you can arrange for an OT eval by your pediatrician while waiting for the Neuropsych. Also, most Neuropsychs will recommend a hearing test (not a screen like at your pediatrician office but in a booth), just to make sure there's no issues there. That can also be arranged by a pediatrician but you might need to convince them of a need to test/order the referral.

Edited December 6, 2016 by displace

[maize]

I also would strongly recommend immediate testing. You can request through school, but they will take 60 days and may or may not find what is necessary. If you're planning on pulling to homeschool soon it's your choice whether to pursue school testing. Private testing will probably also take a month or two. You can seek a Neuropsych through a children's hospital (probably your best bet).

 

Whether she's labeled or not is irrelevant. Knowledge is power, especially for kids with differences. Everyone involved in her education needs to know what she needs best to learn. The only way to find that out is by evaluating.

Just a heads up that in our area private testing took more than a month or two to arrange--our wait was closer to six months. The information is well worth having though.

 

Hopefully OP can get some answers sooner than that. We did school testing first even though it was less thorough because it at least have us something to work with while we waited for private evals.

[3sweetpeaches]

Thank you ladies so much! She is already hearing "labels" of not trying hard enough, not paying attention etc.  I will remind DH of that - defiantly don't want her thinking of herself that way.  I'm ordering the book you recommended maize & hearing about your sister huge help - trying not to look back at all these wasted years of her struggling.... and focus on next steps & better now than having it go on.  I think the dyslexia is certain - will see what we can find to help while waiting for testing.  This board is amazing! Thank you!

[Kiara.I]

Also get her vision checked, specifically by a COVD optometrist. They can spot things with eye movement that can happen even with "perfect" vision. And there's usually very little wait time for those appointments, so it's a great one to start with!

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Edited December 6, 2016 by Kiara.I

[maize]

The Learning Challenges board is also a great place to get support and advice:

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/forum/6-the-learning-challenges-board/

[displace]

Thank you ladies so much! She is already hearing "labels" of not trying hard enough, not paying attention etc. I will remind DH of that - defiantly don't want her thinking of herself that way. I'm ordering the book you recommended maize & hearing about your sister huge help - trying not to look back at all these wasted years of her struggling.... and focus on next steps & better now than having it go on. I think the dyslexia is certain - will see what we can find to help while waiting for testing. This board is amazing! Thank you!

I have heard of great relief from people who finally got diagnosed. To go from: "I'm stupid," or, "I can't understand," or, "You're not trying hard enough", to: "Your brain just works differently. Let's teach you in a way your brain works. Lots of accomplished people have X and look what they've accomplished," has been life changing for some people with learning differences.

 

Be nice about it to others, but shut down anyone who says she's not trying hard if you feel she is trying.

 

ITA that good testing can take many months to arrange, but it's market dependent and also depends on where you go in your area. In my area the wait ranges from a month to about four months.

Edited December 6, 2016 by displace