MamaBearTeacher Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 This question is NOT about weight. Before having children I remember I used to think that women who had children looked somewhat different in a way that I could not put my finger on. Maybe it had something to do with the skin on their face, not more wrinkled or sagging or fat, but something else. I remember feeling that after i had a baby I would never look the same. After I had children I never thought about this but I am suddenly thinking about it now. Anyone ever had the same or similar thought? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaBearTeacher Posted December 3, 2016 Author Share Posted December 3, 2016 No, I don't mean newer mothers, not postpartum, breastfeeding or still having to wake up in the night for the baby. You mean newer mothers? Just speaking for myself, I was so exhausted that first year that I can easily imagine someone looking at me and thinking, "yep, she's got a kid." I'm sure it was obvious just from looking at my face. I was tired! 🙂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 At the same weight my body looks very different. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 (edited) Things shift, people grow up a bit more regardless of if they are 21 or 41 year old first time moms, and at almost all income brackets we have less time and money that we choose to invest in ourselves. So yeah, moms look different. Edited December 3, 2016 by LucyStoner 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 (edited) I don't think so. (Well beyond the obvious of a woman pregnant with triples likely having stretch marks on her stomach, or some similar situation.) Edited December 3, 2016 by Julie Smith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Yes I've always thought the hormones subtly change a woman's face. Matures it, somehow. Is that what you mean? I was 21 when I had my first and my body bounced back very quickly. But my face was different. I've noticed the same in other young women. It's not negative--just different. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Our pelvises tilt to allow eviction and don't tilt back again. I used to look way younger than my years until I had kids. Now, apparently, I look old enough to have kids who've flown the nest. Thanks, you're no spring chicken yourself, Pal. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 (edited) I don't think so. (Well beyond the obvious of a woman pregnant with triples likely having stretch marks on her stomach, or some similar situation.) One need not have multiples to be left with stretch marks. I gained very little, was young and fit and used the lotion all through and after my singleton pregnancy and I ended up a total stripey tiger mom. Time faded them but they are still there and he's 13. Genetics. Yay. Edited December 3, 2016 by LucyStoner 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I would have said no, you're nuts, until this September when 3 youngish women (25-30) I know all had babies at the same time and they all look different somehow. It's weird, I can't explain how and it is fairly disconcerting, but they do just *look* different to me. Older? More mature? I don't know. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I would have said no, you're nuts, until this September when 3 youngish women (25-30) I know all had babies at the same time and they all look different somehow. It's weird, I can't explain how and it is fairly disconcerting, but they do just *look* different to me. Older? More mature? I don't know. It's like they lose their round cheeked doe eyed sort of childlike quality. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 One need not have multiples to be left with stretch marks. I gained very little, was young and fit and used the lotion all through and after my singleton pregnancy and I ended up a total stripey tiger mom. Time faded them but they are still there and he's 13. Genetics. Yay. I just meant I'm pretty sure all people with pregnant with triples will get them, (or almost all), but I'm not sure how common they are for people pregnant with just one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 No, I don't mean newer mothers, not postpartum, breastfeeding or still having to wake up in the night for the baby. I still wake up multiple times a night with my five year old. I guarantee I always look tired. Interesting thought though. I can see early pregnancy in my friend's faces (before they tell anyone). Maybe what you're describing is similar? I'll have to pay attention. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Well my shape really changed. Wider hips and such. That may not ever change even if I later weigh the same as I used to. But I don't know if that answers the question you're asking. When I watch TV sometimes I wonder if a celebrity is a mom in real life. I don't know that I can necessarily tell. I may google it later or find out randomly. One time dh pointed out to me that the actress that played Robin in How I Met Your Mother had just had a kid around the time we went to see an Avengers film she was in. I just thought, wow, I wouldn't know she had a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I think so. I don't know if it's a physiological change so much as a somewhat haunted facial expression that says, "Whatever you're about to say to me, I give zero f***s because I have fourteen loads of laundry to do and my dog just dropped a deuce in the middle of the kitchen." Or, you know, variations on that. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Having kids shifts your outlook. It shifts the way you carry yourself. Not only do your priorities shift to having to think about yourself none, but you could give a flying snot about most everything else that the individual without kids is giving their time to. You are unable to be happy go lucky. You unable to see the world as anything but something you have to protect the child from. It is a different kind of joy and in some way that shifts the way you carry yourself. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I would agree that there is a certain je-ne-sais-quoi in women with kids. But I don't think I could look at a line-up of women and say, "Yep, she's got a kid". I'd need to see before/after pics. Maybe it's that moms always have some level of background worry, and that plays out as less innocence on the face. Or maybe it's the bittersweet emotion that accompanies children growing up- an almost constant feeling in me, at least. Or maybe it's a more take-charge-attitude that moms get. Non facially, my body has changed without a shift in weight. I fit in standard style jeans better (!) than pre-kid, my hips are tilted differently, etc. I've noticed (not that I stare at women all day, but...) that the triangular area from hip bone to hip bone to pubic bone seems to get larger as women have kids. I see this at the pool and I assume it has to do with a tilted pelvis or something. Thin women, but just that area seems to somehow enlarge. lol. It certainly happened to me! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EndOfOrdinary Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Friends used to joke that I had a kid in order to hit puberty! Lol. Before I looked much more like a preteen boy. Now I sort of have bOOks and definitely have a set of hips and a bottom. :) Now there is no mistaking that I am female. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RioSamba Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I *felt* beautiful after becoming a mother, I felt confident and fulfilled. Radiant. Now I've had three c-sections, the third at age 43. The third destroyed my shape. DS2 has also been the worst sleeper as a baby and the most demanding toddler. Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and am shocked at how tired I look, or how shapeless I am without clothes. It's shocking because I still feel beautiful, I still see myself the way that I looked after my first child was born. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethben Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I hadn't seen my younger sister when she was pregnant so all I have are mental images of before baby and after birth. Her hips changed. She lost that hip no kids woman look and gained a more rounded mom look even though her weight wasn't much different. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodiesmom Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 This isn't exactly what you all are talking about, but my BF shared with me during my first pregnancy that she KNEW I was preggo the minute I got into her car for a girls' day out. I had been charting my cycles very closely and that particular day she was speaking of was literally days from conception, and I didn't even know I was pregnant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 It's like they lose their round cheeked doe eyed sort of childlike quality. My mom said that her face finally lost the baby fat when she had me at age 23. Pictures of her from just before that age do show she had a round face and afterwards it leaned out. I was so hopeful that would be the case when I had my oldest at 25. Nope. My underlying bone structure is different and I will forever have a round face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I see changes in some women but not others. It's hard to put a finger on what those changes are, but it's very much an appearance thing and not due to self-care, weight gain/loss, or shape changes to their body. It's in their face. I don't even think it's a "look" of maturity, confidence, desperation, anything personal--it's very physical in nature when I see it. It's also very different from that "glow" people talk about (which I think some women get but not all). I can think of a couple of actresses that looked very different to me before and after having babies. I would describe it as a big enough change that if I saw them in some other role and didn't already know it was them, I might think they had a sister that looked a lot like them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 It's funny because I've always thought I was the only one who noticed this. I'd wondered if I imagined it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 I *felt* beautiful after becoming a mother, I felt confident and fulfilled. Radiant. Now I've had three c-sections, the third at age 43. The third destroyed my shape. DS2 has also been the worst sleeper as a baby and the most demanding toddler. Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and am shocked at how tired I look, or how shapeless I am without clothes. It's shocking because I still feel beautiful, I still see myself the way that I looked after my first child was born. I don't think this is unusual. Even though my shape has not gotten 'better' in terms of the sags and such, having babies definitely makes me feel powerful and beautiful in a way I didn't pre-baby. I'm not sure I look much different but maybe my face does? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 I don't think I've noticed a physical change, but the young women I've known who have gone from childless through first pregnancy sound different. The natural tone of their voices is a noticeably lower pitch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 I do think it changes the pelvis/belly/thighs/butt, even if you go back to the same weight and even if you are a slender woman. My SIL who never had children and is now upper 50s still has a body shape that to me looks unmistakably non-child-bearing. We are about the same size and both slim, but in a bathing suit, I notice that difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted December 4, 2016 Share Posted December 4, 2016 I am going to say no because my sister who never had kids and is only 2years younger than I has the same issues every other women has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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