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Motivation to do their best at school (5th grade / age 10)


SKL
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Kids have a lot to do at this age, and better time management needs to be developed.  I ask my kids to do xyz within a certain amount of time, and they change it up.  Things get put off or rushed through or "forgotten."  They put a higher value on fooling around than the situation calls for.

 

So ... motivation?  Consequences?  I think I just broke my kid's heart by telling her that she'll lose her phone for at least a day if her science or social studies test grade is less than "B."  This was after she told me that she didn't answer two of the SS questions because she didn't understand them and wasn't allowed to ask.  She had a week to prepare, a study guide that supposedly covered everything on the test, and extra time to finish the test.  Seems to me that this is a teachable moment.

 

What do you guys do to encourage your kids to focus on homework / study and get it done, so they can enjoy the rest of their day AND do well in school?

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We had a routine. Time was scheduled for study, nothing else could be done in that slot. If they claimed no need, they could read. We also explained a test is an opportunity to show what you know. Low grade shows more study time or better study habits needed.

Edited by Heigh Ho
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Do they want to do better in school and just need better time management skills or are they fine with their current school performance?

 

If it's the former, than I would help them with time management skills by having a set time each day for HW and assist them with making a study plan. Do they have planners? Do you allow screen time during the school week? I know many families that do not. Provide positive praise and hopefully very soon increased performance will be it's own reward.

 

If it's the latter, then I would probably leave things be, unless they are in danger of failing. I think intrinsic motivation is the best and likely eventually something will be important enough to them to get them striving for it. However, if it's important to you that they do better, then you will probably need to use some sort of rewards and/or punishments. Not doing any of the fun stuff (extracurriculars, outings, play dates, screen time, etc) until the work is done and done well is probably the most direct.

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