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bethben
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Let a man who came up to you at the mailbox use your phone to call a cab? He had low ride jeans, an oversized skull shirt, and a short crew cut. There was no one around on the street. I feel like a heel but I don't generally give strange/ a little scary looking men access to my home. I directed him to a public facility. He thought me rude.

 

 

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No, but I would ask if he wanted me to dial a cab for him while not letting him into the house. 

 

 I did not think of that!  That's a good idea for if this happens again.  I was only thinking "Is this guy honest?"  "Where did he come from?"  "I have four kids in the house including a cute little girl."  That's all that ran through my mind.

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I'd dial a cab for him, perhaps. But I'd feel very vulnerable walking back to my house from the mailbox with someone behind me. It's a very difficult issue. We have one set of neighbours where I've issues the kids with "if they're bleeding out on the doorstep don't open the door" instructions. It's terrible, but I mean it. Personal safety first.

 

If you directed him to a public place nearby then you acted kindly and safely.

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I would not hand over my cellphone or allow someone into my house to use the landline phone.  But I'm with those who would offer to make the call while the person waited outside.    

 

Home invasions have begun with a benign-looking person on a doorstep looking for some minor sort of help.  Then, once the door is wide open, others come in.  (No, I have no cites for this, just thinking about news reports I have read in the past / warnings I've received from police.)  

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I'd feel very vulnerable in that situation, because my door would (of course!) be unlocked, with my children inside. If I had my phone with me, I'd probably offer to make the call. If it was inside my home, I would've felt very uncomfortable with him following me. I'd probably say something like 'You can wait on the corner/by the street sign/or whatever and I'll call a cab for you.' Then go back inside, lock the doors, and call the cab.

 

ETA: I didn't answer the question, but no way would I give a stranger my phone. Nope, no way.

Edited by mmasc
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 I did not think of that!  That's a good idea for if this happens again.  I was only thinking "Is this guy honest?"  "Where did he come from?"  "I have four kids in the house including a cute little girl."  That's all that ran through my mind.

 

 

That is what my son did.  He said, "Give me the number, I will call for you."  And then he tried to grab the phone.  Once you engage, it can get ugly.

 

Just fair warning.

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Nope. I would have offered to call a cab for him. One time a man asked my to give him a ride. It was late and buses had stopped running, his friend abandoned him and it was during a crazy thunderstorm. I was not alone, my friend was with me. I said no but offered to give him money for a cab and call the cab for him. When he insisted he couldn't take my money but could take a ride I said sorry, got in my car, and called the police to ask them to assist him. I didn't know if he wanted to harm us or sincerely needed a ride and felt weird about taking someone's money. But I did know I didn't want to risk him asking another woman the same question and her offering a ride and him turning out to be a bad man. He disappeared when the police showed up so that was very telling.

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I have had this sort of thing happen. I had a baby and a toddler and we were at the park and a guy with a big dog that my toddler was terrified of wanted to use my cell phone. There was no one else around at the park and I said no and he got really pissed at me, which sort of confirmed my decision.

 

Just last week I had a guy in his 20s approach me outside McDonald's and ask to use my phone to call his friend who was late picking him up. Something about him seemed off. He was a bit flustered, and kept looking off in the distance past me. I was with my two kids and told him, "Sorry, ask a guy instead of a woman alone with kids," and immediately went inside. He frowned and stalked off, past plenty of other people. I'm pretty sure I was a target. Plus afterwards I realized that my phone is also my wallet so he'd have my cards and ID!

 

Several times I've had middle school kids ask to use my phone at McDonald's or after a school sporting event (I was a teacher and watched some of my students' games). It's always been because they want to call parents to approve a change of plans/time extension. I told them, "Sure, if you tell me the number, your mom's name, and your name and let me call her to explain." I then called and said, "Hi Kathy? Are you Madison's mom? I'm here at McDonald's and she asked to use my phone to call you. Would you like to talk to her? Here she is." The kids were always cool with this and very grateful.

Edited by AndyJoy
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Let a man who came up to you at the mailbox use your phone to call a cab? He had low ride jeans, an oversized skull shirt, and a short crew cut. There was no one around on the street. I feel like a heel but I don't generally give strange/ a little scary looking men access to my home. I directed him to a public facility. He thought me rude.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

do you live in an area where it is normal for people to take a cab?  I'd offer to call one for him.

 

 

under no circumstances would I hand over my phone  for him to "use".  (let alone allow him in my house)

 

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I had a guy (obviously on drugs) in the Whole Foods parking lot ask me if I knew where a 711 was.  I said no, I don't really live around here (the Whole Foods is a 20 minute drive, give or take) and kept putting stuff in my car.  Then he said well, if I tell you where it is can you give me a ride?

 

No, I said, I can't.  He said I should be more trusting.

 

Hah!  If he knew where he was going in the first place why was he asking for directions?

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