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Talk me out of this concern... (Reading)


Kjirstyn
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I know this is an utterly ridiculous concern, but I can't seem to shake fretting about it, so I'm hoping some veteran parents/homeschoolers can convince me...

 

My 21mo (he's my oldest) has completely lost interest in having books read to him for the past couple months.  For awhile he seemed to enjoy them, even if part of the fun was turning the pages, but all of a sudden he just was over it.  No page turning, no sitting, nothing. My one comfort is that he does book time on his own 2x a day (morning and evening for about 30 minutes) and he does that really well, just looking through a stack of books on his own.  

 

I keep fretting that he won't like to read! My husband thinks I worry too much...and he's right...but I can't shake it anyway.  I don't know what boys are like as kids (all sisters in my history), so I have no idea what's normal and what's not, and certainly not what their young behavior towards books is. I just had a friend tell me the other day her girl used to like books read to her when she was less than a year old!  My two boys...DEFINITELY not interested.  They both like to look at them at that age, and play with them, but no patient sitting and listening for them, thank you very much!

 

So...tell me I'm nuts and he'll be fine.  :-D

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He will be fine.

There are SO many things he is learning right now, and it is very common for something a kid loved to take a back seat when a new skill is developed or something new is explored. Quite possibly he has other priorities at the moment.

Whether a toddler sits still for listening to books or not does not predict whether he will become a strong reader or will like to read later on.

Relax. Just read to him as long as he is willing to listen. 

 

ETA: And with a kid who out of his own free will sits and looks at books independently for half an hour you really have nothing to worry.

Edited by regentrude
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Reading the Your _____ Year Old series was a lifesaver for me.  Each book focuses on a year in a child's life, and how they go through different stages and growths.  Every time they start working on a new skill, they have a good chance of dropping other skills and interests temporarily.  The child learning to walk may stop talking a lot, and so on.  Sleep gets interrupted.  "Developed" interests are left by the wayside.

 

 

I didn't read a lot to my youngest during the day.  Nighttime, yes, when he was drowsy and still.  I didn't take him to storytimes until he was 3, didn't keep a lot of baby books in the house (I think we had 7, and 3 of those had no words).  You would think he would not be interested in books.  Ha!

 

He started to read early and absolutely adores it.  We didn't keep reading and letters from him, but just let him work out each skill as needed.  And some of the skills he worked hard on carried over when he started to read - part to whole puzzles, where everything had to look like the picture provided.  Matching games, where differences were subtle.  Gradient shading, where each piece had to be put in order to make a light to dark line.  These random, hands on exercises helped him learn the differences in letter shapes and their sounds, helped him put together words.

 

I would not worry at all about a toddler doing, well, toddler things! :D  There is plenty of time for books!

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Toddler behavior doesn't really indicate big kid/adult interests. One of my kids would listen to us read for as long as we would sit there, but never looked at a book on their own...ever...until they learned to read. They now devour books and hate being read to because it's slower than what they can do on their own. My other child didn't like being read to as a toddler - for a while, we didn't even do a bedtime story because they wouldn't listen. Now in elementary school, this child happily reads silly books for fun and wants for me to read history out loud.

 

Kids cycle through a lot of phases - books, music, physical activity, art - and interests (trains, planes, dinosaurs, robots, dolls, animals, characters) as they grow up.

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My kids cycled through liking and not liking listening to books as babies and toddlers and definitely went through stages where they did not like it. I do not even remember exact ages this occurred but they all came to like being read to again. My child who took a while to appreciate books now is the one who can listen to them the longest. Stages pass by quickly and that is a very typical phase for a toddler to go through.

Edited by MistyMountain
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Thanks everybody for talking me down...I'll try to be patient. 😠We have LOADS of books around here and I've been looking forward to sharing that with my kids since before they were born, so I panicked a bit when he backed off his interest- so many wasted books! ðŸ˜

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Regentrude- I phrased that poorly. I set him down with books and tell him to stay put and read them for about half an hour; those are my break times. 😊 So he DOES it alone, but I'm the instigator. Still, he does do well at that.

 

Yeah, but the important thing is he does it. Even if you suggest it. Or does your toddler always willingly do everything you suggest? In my experience, most things a toddler ends up doing only happen because he wants to... it's hard to get a toddler to do things he refuses to.

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Well I'll just say that's pretty wow if he'll sit and look at picture books for 30 minutes twice a day.   :D  I'd take that!  My ds was so active, you had to strap him down.  He wouldn't even sit for TV, let alone a book!  

 

The only reason it would be a regression and concerning was if it was accompanied by withdrawal, not responding, a decrease in language use or comprehension, repetitive motions or stims.  Then it would be concerning.  But if overall he's still himself, I would think he probably has just found new things he likes to do as he's developing new skills and abilities.  

 

Do you ever put on audiobooks for background?  That's a good way to get it in. Also, have you tried shaking things up, like changing the genre of book, changing the requirement (not sitting, can plan and then just come over and look at pictures when you call), etc.?  If he's very precocious, he might be ready for a different level of book.  Around 2 I was reading my dc chapter books, things like Lang Fairy Tales and the Little House series.  So you could try more things and see what he gravitates to.  You could also try some interactive books, like lift a flap or pop button books.  See what Timberdoodle has.  For a while there they had these adorable pop button books.  Or go BIG, with rhyming or repetition.  Our library has BIG books.  Do you ever read them nursery rhymes?  

 

Fwiw, both my kids have ADHD and my ds adds bonus ASD and SLDs, including dyslexia.  Even with all that experience to make me worried, I don't see anything concerning yet in what you're saying.  Kids get busy. If you're actually seeing developmental regression (changes in language, amount of interaction, response when called, pointing, etc.), then that's concerning.  But if he's gotten busy, shake things up, try new ways, and it will probably be fine.  Even kids with SLDs and ASD and lots of problems learn to read.  You've got 3-4 years before I'd be concerned.   :)

 

Ok, just to be thorough, I'll ask.  Does he respond to his name?  Does he have joint attention?  (Like if he falls or is scared, does he look to you for help?)  Does he point for things he wants?  Does he follow when you point?  If you try to engage him for age-appropriate play (playskool people or toys, rolling a ball, whatever), does he play?  Does he have age typical speech and language development?  By age 2 they want to have at least 50 words, where words can include animal sounds.  Is his other motor development typical?  If you take him to the playground with 20 other kids, does he stand out in any way?

Edited by OhElizabeth
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I know this is an utterly ridiculous concern, but I can't seem to shake fretting about it, so I'm hoping some veteran parents/homeschoolers can convince me...

 

My 21mo (he's my oldest) has completely lost interest in having books read to him for the past couple months.  For awhile he seemed to enjoy them, even if part of the fun was turning the pages, but all of a sudden he just was over it.  No page turning, no sitting, nothing. My one comfort is that he does book time on his own 2x a day (morning and evening for about 30 minutes) and he does that really well, just looking through a stack of books on his own.  

 

I keep fretting that he won't like to read! My husband thinks I worry too much...and he's right...but I can't shake it anyway.  I don't know what boys are like as kids (all sisters in my history), so I have no idea what's normal and what's not, and certainly not what their young behavior towards books is. I just had a friend tell me the other day her girl used to like books read to her when she was less than a year old!  My two boys...DEFINITELY not interested.  They both like to look at them at that age, and play with them, but no patient sitting and listening for them, thank you very much!

 

So...tell me I'm nuts and he'll be fine.  :-D

I won't tell you you are nuts, but he will be FINE.  I'm sure of it.  Let him run around right now.  That's what they do.  And girls, in my experience, are different.  I didn't think one of mine would ever read.  He began reading in full sentences when he was 7.5  I didn't think he would ever write, beyond, "Candy is good. I like candy." 

 

He writes beautifully now, has very high grades in a really tough school, and is considering becoming an attorney (lots of writing and reading!). 

It's not over until it's over.

 

Your last sentence reminds me of something the orthodontist once said to me that was hilarious:

 

Me:  "Am I crazy or are her teeth moving?"

Him:  "Those are two separate questions.  I will only address the second.  Yes, her teeth have moved."   ;)

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It has nothing to do with your children being boys, and everything to do with them being unique people with their own interests.

 

Even if they grow up and decide they don't like reading as a hobby - so what? As long as they can read, who cares how they spend their free time?

 

Also, they're toddlers - babies, practically. The world is MUCH too interesting to just sit while Mom reads! Why don't you try reading to them when they're doing something else? They don't need to be chained to your lap for it to be reading time :) You can read while they open up all the drawers in the house!

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Regentrude- I phrased that poorly. I set him down with books and tell him to stay put and read them for about half an hour; those are my break times. 😊 So he DOES it alone, but I'm the instigator. Still, he does do well at that.

 

LOL, I just read this. Your toddler son will sit with books for half an hour upon your request? We should all be that lucky! You have nothing to worry about, seriously. When the girls were little, some days it seemed that the only thing they'd do for half an hour straight was cry and refuse to nap!

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