Ginevra Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Has anyone attempted to curtail usage of throw-way words ("like," "you know") in their kids? How about in oneself? Here, at least, we have an equal-opportunity offender, as both my DD and DS overuse "like." I say it as well, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hjffkj Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 My dad used to correct my use of the word like when I when younger and for the most part it worked or I just grew out of talking that way. I do sometimes revert back to using like a lot, especially if I've been drinking. And dad still corrects me. His correction was he'd start talking similarly to me to point out when I was dong it. It seemed to work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I've broken other bad speech habits, running two words together into a sort of 'made up' word (I can't even remember what it was now) and mispronouncing something. Dd called me on both and I became very self conscious. I started correcting myself (repeating correctly) whenever I said those words. I don't think I do it any more. I don't correct myself and she doesn't correct me any more either... We certainly can break those habits but because it involves becoming hyper-aware of something 'embarrassing' about oneself it is not at all a pleasant process. There's a lot of discomfort. But I guess that's true of any personal growth. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I've noticed my girls use it less depending on their audience... more with friends, less with family, rarely at church or work, almost never in writing, so I don't worry about it. I think it's like how some people moderate their use of profanity or sarcasm depending on the circumstances. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I was lucky enough to have both a mother and a teacher who would drill unsavory speech patterns out of us. :laugh: Teacher would ring a bell every time we said the offending word ("like", or "um") and there was a similar system at home. It made us more eloquent speakers, well, at least until we branched into other languages and our brains forgot the English words at times. :lol: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Yes, we're kind of a language-focused family, so we do try and get rid of some of those words/phrases. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Yes, I do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I used to say like a lot. I didn't even realize I was doing it until in science teacher at school pointed it out to me. I made me consciously pay attention to how I was speaking and it helped me to stop doing it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 My daughter replies "huh?" a lot when asked a question. Working on quelling that habit, but, I haven't had success yet. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 The only speech habit that I hit hard was the use of proper pronouns. It was gentle, but consistent correction, which mostly consisted of me repeating back the sentence to them. "Mom, can her and I go to the park?" "Can HER go to the park?" "Mom, can she and I go to the park?" "Sure!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I like those words, actually. Obviously, in a formal speech, they become a distraction, but in conversation, they're interesting to me. One of my joys when I lived in China was figuring out when it was okay to stick "ah" on the end of everything. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 (edited) Nope. Words they mispronouce? Sure, but that's at least partly because it helps in spelling. Otherwise, speech changes over time. Dialects exist. I'm with the descriptivists. One person's eloquent is another person's stodgy. I'm more concerned with coherent thoughts and avoiding the word salad. I'll have to see if I can find the episode of A Way With Words where they talked about filler words. It was interesting. ETA: Found it - they're called discourse particles (https://www.waywordradio.org/discourse-particles-filler-words/). They reference Michael Erard's book which is fascinating. Edited October 22, 2016 by mamaraby 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 One thing I noticed when a thing online pointed it out is that so many people these days make statements with the inflection of a question. I try to make myself not do that. The commentator's thought was that it's because we're all so insecure and scared of what people will think of our statements that we say them like questions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 One thing I noticed when a thing online pointed it out is that so many people these days make statements with the inflection of a question. I try to make myself not do that. The commentator's thought was that it's because we're all so insecure and scared of what people will think of our statements that we say them like questions. It's a pattern mostly associated with women and yes, as you said, it comes across as a sign of insecurity, even if that's not what the speaker is feeling. I didn't want the kids to fall in the trap of talking like that and coming across as insecure. Their friends would visit and every statement the friends would make would be a question and I'd catch my kids start doing it. After the friends would go home I'd point it out and make a big deal over it and my kids would stop doing it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 (edited) I work this out of my children when it creeps up by just repeating the offending word. DC: Can I like have something to eat? Me: like something to eat? (or "May I...?" or "Please may I...?) It works pretty well and becomes reflexive for me. My Dad used to harass me endlessly about this. My Mom and he will watch shows like The Antiques Road Show partly just for the fun of picking apart people's speech patterns. He gets a great chuckle out of people that use the phrase "in terms of" uselessly. People do judge you based on speech habits whether it's fair or not. Edited October 22, 2016 by Rose M 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 No way. Playing with language is fun. Anyway, I'd be a hypocrite if I tried. It took several years and a cross country move to get the Valley Girl out of my speech, and I use way more slang than DS. We love to play around with words and have lots of fun with it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 One thing I noticed when a thing online pointed it out is that so many people these days make statements with the inflection of a question. I try to make myself not do that. The commentator's thought was that it's because we're all so insecure and scared of what people will think of our statements that we say them like questions. My dd does this too, and it bugs me. I respond by asking, "Are you asking me or telling me?" And then have her repeat herself with an inflection of statement. I want her to have confidence in her thoughts and ideas! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 It's a pattern mostly associated with women and yes, as you said, it comes across as a sign of insecurity, even if that's not what the speaker is feeling. I didn't want the kids to fall in the trap of talking like that and coming across as insecure. Their friends would visit and every statement the friends would make would be a question and I'd catch my kids start doing it. After the friends would go home I'd point it out and make a big deal over it and my kids would stop doing it. On the other hand..... people who speak too flatly do come across as unfriendly / off-putting. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 On the other hand..... people who speak too flatly do come across as unfriendly / off-putting. I would agree. People whose speech is devoid of discourse particles come off as too practiced, stiff, and devoid of personality. In the show I linked, they also pointed out that their speech was seen as less authoritative. They also mentioned that discourse particles have existed across cultures and way back in history. It didn't become an issue until audio recordings. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 (edited) It's a pattern mostly associated with women and yes, as you said, it comes across as a sign of insecurity, even if that's not what the speaker is feeling. I didn't want the kids to fall in the trap of talking like that and coming across as insecure. Actually, research on uptalk has shown it's not so simple. Whether or not you use uptalk has very little to do with your gender/sex, and if there's any correlation between uptalk and confidence it may well be the other way around! With regards to "annoying speech habits", it is important to know how to use the formal register. However, it is equally important to know how to use less formal registers, and if your local dialect is very divergent from the standard then it is important to be able to codeswitch between the two! People don't think of a difficulty in switching register as a disability, but take it from somebody who has that problem* - it really, really is. If you're constantly speaking in the most formal register you can, people don't like you. They don't trust you. This is a real issue. Using "whom" and the subjunctive in casual conversation just makes other people uncomfortable. It's not a super serious problem like not being able to speak at all, but it does absolutely affect your life in a negative way. (And if you had a more obvious speech impediment, most people wouldn't judge you for that.) * I'm not entirely sure here if I blame autism or my family. Then again, most of my family is part of the broader autistic phenotype anyway, so.... We also all read an awful lot. Edited October 22, 2016 by Tanaqui 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I would agree. People whose speech is devoid of discourse particles come off as too practiced, stiff, and devoid of personality. In the show I linked, they also pointed out that their speech was seen as less authoritative. They also mentioned that discourse particles have existed across cultures and way back in history. It didn't become an issue until audio recordings. I was thinking more Wednesday Addams type girls, but, the above is true too! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Nope. Words they mispronouce? Sure, but that's at least partly because it helps in spelling. Otherwise, speech changes over time. Dialects exist. I'm with the descriptivists. One person's eloquent is another person's stodgy. I'm more concerned with coherent thoughts and avoiding the word salad. I'll have to see if I can find the episode of A Way With Words where they talked about filler words. It was interesting. ETA: Found it - they're called discourse particles (https://www.waywordradio.org/discourse-particles-filler-words/). They reference Michael Erard's book which is fascinating. I would love that book. I mean, like, I would so totally love that book! ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 One thing I noticed when a thing online pointed it out is that so many people these days make statements with the inflection of a question. I try to make myself not do that. The commentator's thought was that it's because we're all so insecure and scared of what people will think of our statements that we say them like questions. I remember a speaking course I had long, long ago advised women (in particular) not to do this in business settings because it undermines your authority. So I did eliminate that propensity in my early 20s. My niece needs to learn that. She is a well-educated CPA, but she still uses a childish type of upspeak. People regularly mistake her for a high school girl. She says, "Ummm...I, like, have a career? I have a Master's Degree? I, like, graduated years ago." Well, speak like you're closing in on thirty, woman! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 (edited) LOL I found this? Edited October 22, 2016 by pinkmint 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I do not correct the kids' speech, except for pronoun misuse when it is a gender issue (DS3 uses he and she interchangeably for some reason). If they were *giving* a speech, or reciting something, I'd help them work out what phrasing is appropriate. But just talking - nah. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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