Do you and dh vote for different parties, different candidates?

[JadeOrchidSong]

How are you getting along during election year? Do you discuss your opposing views? Do yu just avoid the topic and try to live in peace?

[goldberry]

Quill should be chiming in soon... hang in there, Quill! ;)

[Liz CA]

Not us but we had friends who voted opposite. According to the wife, they did not talk about it at all. The husband occasionally voiced his frustration by saying they could just stay home and not vote since they cancelled each other out. :)

[maize]

Sometimes. I've almost always voted for major party candidates and Dh sometimes votes third party or independent.

[Reefgazer]

DH and I don't really discuss it.  We don't avoid politics and it's not a hot button thing, but we both know the other's stance on things and that neither one of us will not be changing the other party's mind.  *shrug* It's kind of a non-issue here.

[mamiof5]

Rarely ever. We usually agree on the same folks

[Amira]

We started off the same in the 90s, but we've voted differently for the last ten years (I changed, not him). It hasn't been a problem but neither of us have supported a candidate the other considers horrifying so that makes it easier.

 

This year we might still end up voting differently from each other, but we are absolutely united in our opposition to one major candidate so I don't have the challenge of his voting for someone I consider horrifying.

[hjffkj]

I have no idea who my dh is voting for. I don't think I ever knew who he voted for last presidential election. He didn't vote in 2008 mainly because he was too busy at work and didn't think about voting early.

 

We talk a lot about politics and I know his feelings on both major candidates are similar to mine but seeing as I dont know how I'm voting yet I can't think about how he might vote. And I'll actually never ask him.

[AimeeM]

DH and I are both of the same political party and overall views. We almost always vote the same. If we vote differently, it's usually still within the same party.

 

We talk politics a lot in this house. Even my 15 year old has fairly strong opinions about politics. In fact, politics are so loved around here that it is banned conversation at the dining room table and I'm trying to remind her - frequently - that it's considered impolite to bombard your (teenage, in this case) friends with political opinions during dinner or general "hang time."

 

Edited October 22, 2016 by AimeeM

[eternalsummer]

We always vote the same.  We're together 23 hours a day (we work together) and we're both interested in politics/world events so we talk about things like that a lot and form beliefs together (though he is much more politically and historically aware than I am, so mostly he explains things and I agree).

 

Neither of us are voting this year barring an extremely unlikely circumstance ( a major candidate is replaced, or something)

[nd293]

Different elections, but this year I'm pretty sure dh and I voted differently. Generally we vote for a party that best represents our overall economic and social philosophy. This year there was one issue that I felt made it important to vote for the other party, plus the politician from the party I usually vote for made some pretty dumb statements and his opponent was very impressive.

 

There's no single politician we admire or party that really represents our values. So there's not much to disagree on. We may discuss individual politicians or issues, but not party politics. I don't ask who he votes for or volunteer who I vote for.

[Guest]

I don't think so, politics was one of or original uniting issues.

[Spy Car]

I actually don't have a dh (not that there's anything wrong with that :D) but my dear wife and I have been in lock-step in every single election ever, except for a brief moment 8 years ago when I supported the eventual nominee before my wife ended up shifting her support to him.

 

Fortunately this year we get the "do over" on that other candidate and all is good.

 

I did not like being on a different page than my spouse, even when it was a minor split. 

 

Bill

 

 

[sbgrace]

I do not know who my husband votes for in most races, though we sometimes talk about local or state candidates if he's done work with them.  I know how I hope he won't vote for President this year, and I've told him why I feel that way. He's kind of politics is a necessary, corrupted system sort, rather than thinking any political system holds a key. I get where he's coming from, but I have stronger feelings about the choices, especially this election.

Edited October 22, 2016 by sbgrace

[regentrude]

My DH and I agree in our political opinions. We talk a lot about politics.

However, we have never voted in a presidential election. This is the first year (we became citizens two weeks after the last election). 

But if we could have voted, we would have voted for the same candidate.

Edited October 22, 2016 by regentrude

[Rosie_0801]

We talk politics a lot in this house. Even my 15 year old has fairly strong opinions about politics. In fact, politics are so loved around here that it is banned conversation at the dining room table and I'm trying to remind her - frequently - that it's considered impolite to bombard your (teenage, in this case) friends with political opinions during dinner or general "hang time."

 

Is it? Because it is rude to talk about politics or because it is rude to be tiresome about it?

[happypamama]

We aren't hugely into politics in general, but we vote the same. We both have the same handful of hot button issues, although possibly to varying degrees, but many of them fall under a general stance that we both feel very strongly about. We've shared the same dislike for a particular candidate in multiple elections. I can't imagine being married to someone who felt very differently on certain issues, because they affect how we teach and raise our children and are part of the cores that make us us. That would be really hard if we disagreed on certain key topics.

[MEmama]

The same. I can't imagine living my life with someone who doesn't share my fundamental views.

 

We discuss politics a lot with each other and with our son. I grew up in a household where it was never talked about with me, leaving me to navigate it on my own. Everything is shaped by the policies and actions of our elected representatives; it comes up very naturally in our home.

[Pawz4me]

The same. But truthfully it's because DH isn't into politics all that much and so he usually goes along with my assessment of the candidates.

[creekland]

We talk about everything here, so of course politics is included.  We're generally the same with our views and vote the same.  

 

This year there will be one race where we differ in our actual voting, but we're both voting against a candidate.  He's just going third party and I'm not.  That last happened when Perot ran (1992).  Our difference is that he believes one should vote for who one wants to have even if they can't win.  I'm more firm in wanting to keep someone else out of power so will vote for someone who can beat them.

 

With many local/state elections I'll definitely defer to his opinion because what local gov'ts do affect the ease of his job (and our income) quite a bit.  He tends to let me research federal elections (including Senate and House) as those don't affect us nearly as much.  Regardless, when we get together to share our thoughts and/or look at the actual (practice) ballot we share our reasons for why we want who we want.  Then there are the other politics discussions - the everyday stuff - due to what has gone on or whatever.

 

I don't think I could live with someone if we had to keep certain topics off the table.  That would definitely affect our relationship and not in a good way.  We're talkers who love discussion.  That goes all the way back to our dating days.

[desertflower]

We discuss. Generally, on the same page. Not an issue here.

[Mama Geek]

We are voting the same and as far as I can remember always have.

[AnnE-girl]

One of the ways DH and I got to know each other was attending meetings of the college organization for our political party. We talk about politics a lot in our home. Sometimes we get loud as we agree with each other and have to reassure our kids we're not fighting. As far as I know, we've always voted the same in general elections. We have differed in the primaries occasionally, but always respectfully. We might be voting, or not voting, differently this year. We agree fundamentally, but our personal decisions on voting our conscience might differ. I do completely defer to him in judicial races, because I trust his professional opinion, and I'm too lazy to research them myself.

[SemiSweet]

We vote the same on most everything, we move around a lot so the local stuff I just do a little research and call it good. He trusts me to assess station and national legislators as our views are very similar. We discuss the presidency a lot, I think at one point he may have been leaning third party this year as our primary candidate didn't win, but he seems on board now with our party's candidate.

[Guest]

Quill should be chiming in soon... hang in there, Quill! ;)

A dubious honor that this is my reputation.

 

We are registered in the same party. This is the first election in which we will vote very differently. In primaries, we often choose different candidates, though the same party. And we have voted differently on ballot questions before. But for The Big Election, this will be a first.

 

Discussion of politics has long been a common conversation topic in our family. This year, it is the source of much strong difference of opinion. I am not a person who enjoys a conflict, so it's pretty miserable for me. We have put a moratorium on political discussions (much like this board, LOL), but we can't seem to help ourselves from going there (much like this board). ;)

[Guest]

I have no idea who my dh is voting for. I don't think I ever knew who he voted for last presidential election. He didn't vote in 2008 mainly because he was too busy at work and didn't think about voting early.

 

We talk a lot about politics and I know his feelings on both major candidates are similar to mine but seeing as I dont know how I'm voting yet I can't think about how he might vote. And I'll actually never ask him.

I can't even imagine this. Don't misunderstand; I'm not criticizing and might even find that peace enviable. I just cannot imagine having conversations surrounding current events that didn't naturally lead to politics.

[bensonduck]

Usually we do vote the same. He tends to vote the party line, where I am not as wedded to it - if there is a particular candidate that I don't like or issue I feel strongly about, I may vote differently.

 

We are pretty respectful of each other's views.

[freesia]

My parents were and they did argue. My grandfather was a big one for huge political fights at the dinner table.

 

Dh and I are registered in different parties but are both fairly moderate and agree on a lot of issues. Very occasionally we explore issues in raised voice. I follow my Dad's practice of not sharing who I vote for.

 

This election we are in agreement. And my family is very aware of who I won't vote for.

[hjffkj]

I can't even imagine this. Don't misunderstand; I'm not criticizing and might even find that peace enviable. I just cannot imagine having conversations surrounding current events that didn't naturally lead to politics.

Oh we talk politics a lot but we're both dissatisfied with both major parties in different areas. So say when it comes to financial concerns we lean one way but social concerns we lean the other. Well when your split down the middle it turns into which issues are more important to you. That is where we don't venture into because that isn't something that someone else should help you decide imho. I could guess how he voted but I could be wrong. He knows what issues are most important to me because I have no problem voicing them. The fact that he doesn't voice them tells me it is not my place to ask. He'll tell me if he wants but if not I respect that.

[kewb]

We usually agree but there have been elections where we canceled each other out. We don't discuss politics in those years.

[Annie G]

We talk about everything here, so of course politics is included.  We're generally the same with our views and vote the same.  

 

This year there will be one race where we differ in our actual voting, but we're both voting against a candidate.  He's just going third party and I'm not.  That last happened when Perot ran (1992).  Our difference is that he believes one should vote for who one wants to have even if they can't win.  I'm more firm in wanting to keep someone else out of power so will vote for someone who can beat them.

 

I don't think I could live with someone if we had to keep certain topics off the table.  That would definitely affect our relationship and not in a good way.  We're talkers who love discussion.  That goes all the way back to our dating days.

 

This describes us almost perfectly, though this year *I* went 3rd party.  

 

Our two youngest still live at home and they are not on the same page as we are politically. But we as a family watch all the debates and are respectful and have some pretty rousing discussions.   I can't imagine it any other way. 

 

We criss crossed Iowa the weekend before the caucus and met a lot of the candidates. That's our idea of a romantic weekend.  Sick, huh? g

[purpleowl]

We're registered with the same party. We may or may not vote for the same person in primary elections. Last presidential election, he voted for our party's nominee, but I voted third party. This time, neither of us feels we can vote for our party's nominee. He is trying to decide between third party and abstaining completely. I am trying to decide between third party and the other major party. We're both considering the same third-party candidate.

 

On state & local elections, I think we generally end up voting the same way, though not always. 

[AmandaVT]

DH and I generally vote the same. In 2000, we voted for different presidential candidates (his guy won). This year we're voting for different governor candidates (I'm voting in the other direction this time). For the most part, we are very close ideologically. 

[edelweiss]

We vote the same in the major elections.  Sometimes we vote differently in the primaries (but the same within the party).  Honestly, it would really bother me if we voted for different parties.  I can't imagine being on the same page as far as core beliefs.

 

This year he knows who he is voting for.  I haven't decided if I am voting for president at all.  I might sit this one out.  

Edited October 22, 2016 by edelweiss

[JFSinIL]

Hubby is sad as he is  Republican, raised that way, and basically has no one he can vote for since K. dropped out.  The four kids are all old enough to vote and follow MY lead.  We more than cancel hubby out.  But some of us will vote Green party, some Dem.  This is for President.  For local elections, we tend to be all on the same page, depending on the candidate or issue.

[AimeeM]

Is it? Because it is rude to talk about politics or because it is rude to be tiresome about it?

Because it's generally rude to go into a situation completely unrelated and ask people who they (or, in this situation, their parents) are voting for, why, and then proceeding to tell them why their candidate is great - or sucks - and if they haven't an opinion on this, why they should.

[Mom-ninja.]

The one time he voted differently than me it did not bode well. I was quite angry about the issue we voted on differently. It still burns me when I think about it. There was a lot of me explaining to him just why he had voted incorrectly. Sometimes I was nice. 

 

As for the different vote for president (same election as above) I was baffled at him. Then I made fun of him every time that person made another blunder. 

 

I'm definitely not a quiet non-confrontational person when it comes to my husband.  

[Loowit]

DH and I discuss politics along and for the most part agree with each other.  However, we never actually say who we are voting for in most cases.  I guess I can assume who he is voting for and would probably be mostly right, but I don't sit and look over his shoulder when he is voting.  Most of the ones we would most likely differ on are local elections, but we don't let our differences become a tension point and I can't recall ever getting in an argument about anything we differ on.

 

Our friends, OTOH, can't talk about politics together at all.  They are very opposite in their political views.  They know that they cancel each other out when voting most of the time, but prefer to not talk about it and focus on the things that they do have in common.

[Soror]

I believe we are voting differently for the first time in this election. We've always had some difference of beliefs, ironically my family is staunch Republicans and his Democrats and I lean more liberal and he leans more conservative. As it was we married fairly young and neither of us had the time and space to fully form our own beliefs autonomous from those beliefs of our parents. So, as we matured and came to our own way we did it together but we didn't always come to the same conclusion as we are not the same person.

 

We agree on a lot of things and on the things we disagree on, often it is the fact that we might have the same goal but have different beliefs about how to accomplish said goal. He respects me as I do him, even when we can't come to an exact agreement. Although I may wish at times that we were more aligned I think it is good for us as individuals to see that the "other side" isn't so different a lot of times and for the kids to see some difference in opinions presented respectfully. When he discusses politics with them he will give his side and likewise I give them mine. All too often I hear kids with these "strongly held views" which are merely the parroting of their parents without great thought and study as to why those beliefs are held(personally I cringe when I hear my kids parroting me, political views are not something to copy without thought). I want my kids to examine both sides of the story(not every side mind you as some people are just crazy and don't deserve acknowledgment) but beliefs formed on the basis of only looking at sources biased to agree with your already held thoughts are not well formed.

Edited October 22, 2016 by soror

[Farrar]

Not always. He's never voted for anyone I couldn't respect though.

 

One year we had a big difference of opinion over the mayoral race but we're in a single party town so it's not like there was a party difference there.

 

As far as I can tell, we're voting exactly the same this go around. Well, we haven't talked about our neighborhood council rep. But that person has no actual power, so...

[Tiberia]

We usually vote for different presidential candidates. We don't discuss it much, but we're not at odds with each other.

 

Dh is more of an idealist and will vote for someone who can't possibly win. I am more of a realist and will vote for someone who could actually win. 

 

We both abandoned our former party last year, and consider ourselves independents now. 

Edited October 22, 2016 by Tiberia

[poppy]

Not always. He's never voted for anyone I couldn't respect though.

 

One year we had a big difference of opinion over the mayoral race but we're in a single party town so it's not like there was a party difference there.

 

As far as I can tell, we're voting exactly the same this go around. Well, we haven't talked about our neighborhood council rep. But that person has no actual power, so...

 

Yes.  We don't vote in lockstep, but, we have similar values and it shows in our votes.

 

[Outdoorsy Type]

Same party, probably different candidates this year. I'm writing mine in, which he thinks is equal to not voting.

[Lady Florida.]

Most of the time, yes. Not this year.

[Peaceful Isle]

We vote the same. We have generally the same views and opinions.

[Slartibartfast]

Dh and I vote for the same party and tend to agree on issues.

Edited October 22, 2016 by Slartibartfast

[Selkie]

Our political views are closely aligned and we have always voted for the same candidates.  

 

This year, we're both completely disgusted by the presidential candidates.  DH may not even vote for president, for the first time ever. I am writing in a former candidate who would be an excellent leader for our country, IMO.

 

Because of a very large city in our state, the Democrat presidential candidate always wins, so the votes of those of us in the rest of the state will have no effect whatsoever anyway.

[Rosie_0801]

Because it's generally rude to go into a situation completely unrelated and ask people who they (or, in this situation, their parents) are voting for, why, and then proceeding to tell them why their candidate is great - or sucks - and if they haven't an opinion on this, why they should.

 

:lol: The enthusiasm of youth! 

 

I actually think the bolded part is perfectly reasonable. Not so much the rest. :lol: :lol:

[J-rap]

We generally think very much the same and vote for the same candidates, although there have been a few times where we prioritize issues a little differently, even though we hold the same views on the issues, which might result in a different candidate choice.

 

This year we will not be voting for the same presidential candidate, but we still support the candidate each other is voting for.

 

[LEK]

We discuss politics at great length especially before an election however we rarely if ever vote the same, it is not an issue. We agree that while we discuss politics at great length we actually do not discuss our own voting preferences, just the voting and political issues that may be influencing those. In all honesty, while we both know we are not voting the same, neither of us knows who the other has actually decided on for sure (although I generally have a good idea). If either of us felt really strongly AGAINST a candidate we mention it, in the last election I told dh "I don't care who you vote for but please don't vote for X" but other than that, he is free to make his own choice and I am happy that he has taken the time and effort to really make an informed one regardless if it matches my own, if more people took the time to thoroughly research and make an informed choice we would all be better off.