Jump to content

Menu

Please Tell Me I'm Not a Mean Mom


mykidsrmyjoy
 Share

Recommended Posts

Ok, so dd who's 7 and a MAJOR drama queen when it comes to pain, just cut her big toe a little bit on a garden rake. It took me 20 minutes to convince her to let me wash it with peroxide, and she screamed the whole time I was doing it. She just really hates anything that resembles even a little bit of pain. When I was finished I googled cleaning wounds with peroxide, and now they advise not to do that anymore but only use soap and water. Now I'm feeling pretty mean for having put her through that unnecessary drama. WWYD? Does anyone use peroxide anymore? Do you always wash out wounds, no matter how small, or do you leave some of them alone because it's not worth the tears?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Small cuts and scrapes I generally don't worry about. If it's a fairly bad cut or looks particularly dirty, I use a soapy washcloth or antiseptic wipe. I probably would use peroxide except I never seem to have any on hand. I didn't know you weren't supposed to do that anymore.

 

Sent from my HTCD200LVW using Tapatalk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I rarely wash out cuts or scrapes, but that's because I rarely see a need. It has nothing to do with whether or not the washing out stings.

 

Now, if I see a need, like the cut is really deep, or dirty, or I have other reason to be concerned about infection, i tend to use rubbing alcohol.

 

I thought we weren't supposed to use rubbing alcohol either?  I'm so tired of the list growing of what we are not supposed to use.  I had peroxide used on every cut when I was a kid.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just soap and water now, and not even Neosporin. Was told to use a dab of Vaseline to keep bandaid from sticking to wound if needed. As long as kidlet up on tetanus shots, nothing else needed UNLESS tomorrow there is evidence of infection beyond a mild pinkness.

Edited by JFSinIL
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would probably just rinse with water.  DS cut his finger a year ago which resulted in an ER visit and stitches.  To my surprise they only had him hold his finger under running water for about 2 minutes.  When I asked about cleaning the cut they informed me that I should only "clean" cuts by holding them under running water for a couple minutes. 

 

I don't think you are mean for having your dd have her cut cleaned.  Honestly I don't worry about it most of the time.  Since my boys are older I don't know about scrapes and cuts unless they tell me or unless it is obvious.  My mom used peroxide regularly on my scrapes, and I hated it.  It HURT.  I think perhaps I was a bit dramatic and just plain water would have hurt just as badly.  :huh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I always used peroxide, both on myself and on my kids, and even the low-pain-tolerant among us don't think peroxide hurts any more than washing.   

 

If a wound caused enough pain to create drama, then it needed to be washed - if that makes me a mean mom, so be it....

 

Anne

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're not a mean mom.

 

Gently, I want to say that your DD truly may feel pain differently or more intensely than expected or typical. My oldest is lovingly known as "The Princess and the Pea." Only I think she could actually detect a grain of sand under a hundred mattresses!

 

We discovered that she truly felt things differently when she was at an occupational therapy session... the therapist asked if she seems overly sensitive to physical sensations- he informed me that she had true pain reactions while they were working. At the time, she was in her late teens and plenty old enough to understand the need for the session and also had a strong desire to make it work, so no childish whining, KWIM?

 

She cannot drink carbonated beverages, she says it feels like she's gargling glass shards. She keeps her hair short because keeping her tight curls tangle-free is literally painful.

 

Sometimes the anticipation of pain can hurt as much as the painful stimulus itself.

 

Oh, and she is ticklish, but not in a cute giggly way- more like "Stop right now or I will destroy you" kind of ticklish.

Edited by Rebel Yell
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, my kids wouldn't say you are mean.  I believe it's a parent's job to teach their children how to moderate their responses.  Having a fit over a tiny cut getting washed out is not ok. Say ouch, recoiling a bit, sure.  Crying a little, fine.  Screaming and carrying on will get you punished around here.

 

ETA: I always clean cuts.  A local man just died last month, in about 36 hours, from flesh eating bacteria that got into a little cut.

Edited by TammyS
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you're a mean mom, I'm horrendous!

 

I make my kids wash their own (small/medium) wounds with soap and water, then apply polysporin -- themselves.

 

I do this with a nonchalant 'you know what you need to do' air -- a tone that implies my sympathy, but also communicates that knowing what you need to do with your own wounds is a life skill that everybody picks up as a youngster.

 

So, yeah, you aren't as mean as me: if that's any comfort.

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I use peroxide to get blood out of things. I don't use it on wounds.  (Occasionally use rubbing alcohol, depends upon the circumstances.  peroxide hurts less.)

 

some kids have higher pain thresholds than others.

 

I wouldn't let it worry you.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't get why just running it under cool water would be enough. If that's all you need, why are we supposed to scrub our hands with soap and warm water after going to the bathroom or handling raw meat? Surely it's more serious to get something directly into your bloodstream than in your mouth. My kids are playing out back in dirt in a backyard that wild animals walk through and sometimes poop in. No way to know what exactly is on their hands getting into their scrapes. I use alcohol on their cuts.

 

myth busters had fun with this one.

yes, you need soap, you need to make a lather.  soap forms a layer so germs will be rinsed off.  just rinsing off with water is inadequate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Water only. Some pawpaw ointment. Cover. Have never had an infected cut/wound, nor have the kids.

 

Never used peroxide, never had it used on me. It sounds like it would sting!

 

Pawpaw ointment?  Like from the fruit trees?

 

Peroxide stings, but no more than plain water.  Alcohol stings a lot.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're not a mean mom.

 

But I will say that I get on this too sometimes about removing splinters or washing out cuts that need it... when my boys were younger there could be a lot of drama about it and I wish in retrospect that I had just grounded them in the bathroom and brought myself and them a couple of books and just waited for them to stop howling about it and decided on their own to be ready (and win the ability to leave the bathroom). I often got fed up and held them down and just did it, which I don't think helped in the long run.

 

Agreed that for small cuts, I often don't do anything. And that I think of peroxide as old fashioned. We just do soap and water and, if it's icky enough, a touch of neosporin.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Peroxide doesn't sting more than soap and water. Possibly less. 

 

We don't use it, or alcohol, anymore because they kill the healthy tissue which delays healing and can increase scarring. 

 

Regular water flushing it long enough, or more often a quick rinse in water or using an over the counter wound wash, then neosporin type product to kill germs if it is big enough. Minor scrapes get a locally made ointment of olive oil and herbs. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Peroxide stings, I'd yell too! We definitely disinfect. Usually Betadine (iodine) or something you can mix with water and soak the wound in. We're not phased by germs or diet, but we don't mess around with infections. We've seen a couple of small things start to get nasty wben not properly disinfected. I guess if you live s 'big city' life it's maybe ok, but not if you're talking garden or outdoors in general.

 

ETA: For small things and any splinters that need removing, I use a cream that disinfects and numbs. The toe would probably have got that treatment if it wasn't obviously dirty. And it would get it after cleaning, definitely. That stuff is fabulous for kids that are pain averse.

Edited by nd293
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Peroxide stings, I'd yell too! We definitely disinfect. Usually Betadine (iodine) or something you can mix with water and soak the wound in. We don't mess around with infections here. We've seen a couple of small things start to get nasty wben not properly disinfected. I guess if you live s 'big city' life it's maybe ok, but not if you're talking garden or outdoors in general.

 

And I'd say iodine stings worse!

 

For those wondering, a safe choice that doesn't sting and doesn't kill healthy tissue is hibicleanse or any chlorhexidine product. 

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And I'd say iodine stings worse!

 

I shall test that our next time I hurt myself! I don't think Betadine does hurt. We have the ointment and liquid. And also the gargle for sore throats. I don't think I've had complaints. Apart from about the taste of the gargle!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You'd be mean if you used the peroxide in order to cause her pain. You were trying to help her.

 

I use Bactine (or generic) or saline wash. It doesn't hurt to me, but sometimes the kids screech anyway.

 

Is she redheaded? We tend to be sensitive to pain.

 

Was the cut deep or the rake rusty? Hopefully she's up to date on tetanus. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

DS20 had a suspicious mole removed a few years ago. The dermatologist's instructions said to swab the stitches with a Qtip dipped in peroxide twice a day. DS17 needed a finger stitched up a few months ago. The urgent care doctor's instructions were the same--swab the stitched area with a Qtip dipped in peroxide twice a day. So yes--we still use it.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you're a mean mom, I'm horrendous!

 

I make my kids wash their own (small/medium) wounds with soap and water, then apply polysporin -- themselves.

 

I do this with a nonchalant 'you know what you need to do' air -- a tone that implies my sympathy, but also communicates that knowing what you need to do with your own wounds is a life skill that everybody picks up as a youngster.

 

So, yeah, you aren't as mean as me: if that's any comfort.

 

This isn't really mean to me.  It's like brushing your own hair verses someone else doing it.  It's often better to do it yourself because you can properly brace yourself for the pain. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're not mean. You do whatever you think is best for your little ones.

 

My dh is an ER doc and he will tell you that larger wounds need to be washed with soap and water. The reason that peroxide and alcohol are non-kosher now is that the evidence shows that anything that damages the cells around the wound (and these two will) slows down healing. When my ds5 got an abscessed splinter in his foot, dh soaked it in water, drained it and bandaged it once a day. That was all. No polysporin or anything. If your children aren't vaccinated for tetanus his advise might change though. I'm not sure.

 

Now that was drama! Poor boy screamed for 20 minutes straight while that thing was being drained. I'm a lot more reluctant to have them run around barefoot.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is so weird! Dh makes me feel badly if I don't use something other than soap and water. We have both peroxide and rubbing alcohol here. I usually do soap & water and then either alcohol and band-aid or Vitamin E or neosporin and band-aid. Sometimes the band-aid has a built-in product. So I guess I feel better if soap and water is deemed good enough.

 

I sometimes think that people just have a different pain tolerance and it's hard to really know when someone is being a baby or not. Ds gets sooo upset when I clip his fingernails!! I don't think I am going too far, to the quick, either. Then he says he can't do anything with his hands afterwards LOL. Like it affects normal activities? And I don't mean things where you'd actually need a nail. So dramatic I sometimes wonder if he really has extra sensitivity there. I am an adult and I flinch and complain over a dumb finger prick more than most things. Those things hurt!! And they leave red dots on my fingers that supposedly were going to go away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought we weren't supposed to use rubbing alcohol either?  I'm so tired of the list growing of what we are not supposed to use.  I had peroxide used on every cut when I was a kid.

 

It's easier to remember the list of what you are supposed to use: Soap and hot water, and then top it off with a bandaid. That's it! You almost never need anything else, and there's nothing you need to keep up with. Just three things - soap, water, bandaid.

 

To the OP, you did what you thought was best, and you had the best of intentions. Plus, now that you know it's not necessary, you won't do the same thing again. That's not mean, that's responsible*. Your daughter will forgive you.

 

* I reserve the right to say that in some circumstances, some people's best intentions are still immoral or "mean". This isn't one of them, though.

Edited by Tanaqui
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gosh, I loved using peroxide on my cuts when I was a kid. It made the funniest bubbles. It didn't hurt at all. I used it with my kids too. I would think washing with soap and water would hurt more because you're actually manipulating the skin on the cut. With peroxide, I just poured and patted dry. I've never heard not to use it.

 

I also put Neosporin or some type of similar ointment on cuts with bandaids. That never hurts either.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is so weird! Dh makes me feel badly if I don't use something other than soap and water. We have both peroxide and rubbing alcohol here. I usually do soap & water and then either alcohol and band-aid or Vitamin E or neosporin and band-aid. Sometimes the band-aid has a built-in product. So I guess I feel better if soap and water is deemed good enough.

 

I sometimes think that people just have a different pain tolerance and it's hard to really know when someone is being a baby or not. Ds gets sooo upset when I clip his fingernails!! I don't think I am going too far, to the quick, either. Then he says he can't do anything with his hands afterwards LOL. Like it affects normal activities? And I don't mean things where you'd actually need a nail. So dramatic I sometimes wonder if he really has extra sensitivity there. I am an adult and I flinch and complain over a dumb finger prick more than most things. Those things hurt!! And they leave red dots on my fingers that supposedly were going to go away.

 

They absolutely do, and often it's better (from a health perspective) to have a low tolerance rather than a high tolerance. DS17 is ASD-1 and has always had sensory issues. He's under-responsive to most pain. One time when he was a little kid he ran full speed into the open edge of a car door. It hit him right down the center of his face. He said "Oh, that hurt" and kept right on going. No crying or anything. Most kids would have been screaming. Another time he had an abscess in his throat (from strep). He had no fever with it and his only complaint was that his throat hurt a little, so it took us several days to realize something bad was going on. He ended up in the hospital for two nights getting IV antibiotics. If it had gone on just a few hours longer he would likely have needed surgery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So why do I own 10 tubes of Neosporin?  Does no one use Neosporin anymore?  Sigh.

 

Honestly, the biggest benefit is the thick ointment nature of it. Keeping wounds moist helps them heal without scarring. I do use it for things that may be exposed to more germs, etc, but just plain A/D ointment, vaseline, etc works fine. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They absolutely do, and often it's better (from a health perspective) to have a low tolerance rather than a high tolerance. DS17 is ASD-1 and has always had sensory issues. He's under-responsive to most pain. One time when he was a little kid he ran full speed into the open edge of a car door. It hit him right down the center of his face. He said "Oh, that hurt" and kept right on going. No crying or anything. Most kids would have been screaming. Another time he had an abscess in his throat (from strep). He had no fever with it and his only complaint was that his throat hurt a little, so it took us several days to realize something bad was going on. He ended up in the hospital for two nights getting IV antibiotics. If it had gone on just a few hours longer he would likely have needed surgery.

So true. My spectrum kid has broken bones more than once and just kept playing. Until the swelling shows up I have no way of knowing it is broken. Then I look like a bad mom when I take him in and admit it happened many hours or even a day before. Sigh. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

So why do I own 10 tubes of Neosporin?  Does no one use Neosporin anymore?  Sigh.

 

I almost never do, because I'm worried about overuse of antibiotics. If I need to keep a wound moist I use petroleum jelly.

 

I will cop to using an antibiotic burn ointment on burns once I've run them over cold water. It makes them feel better. I think the one I use has some numbing agent? I'd be glad to use the same ointment with just the numbing and not the antibiotic, but....

 

(Note: If you have some special reason to worry about germs, then by all means, don't let me stop you from using the antibiotic whatever.)

 

Gosh, I loved using peroxide on my cuts when I was a kid. It made the funniest bubbles.

 

I believe that's why you're not supposed to use it. All that bubbling damages your cells closest to the injury, making your body slower to heal.

Edited by Tanaqui
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would use water and soap and Bacitracin.

 

However, I have always been told and from my own experience have found that peroxide is painless.  It is like cool water that foams.  Is it normal for peroxide to hurt? I've never heard of that.  

 

Rubbing Alcohol hurts like the dickens, but peroxide shouldn't.  Was she in pain or just scared of the peroxide and the foam?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...