Help with contacting school in advance

[Xahm]

Our daughter will be Kindergarten age next year and we want to give real consideration to local public schools, though we may decide to home school. We want to contact the local school and find out whether they could work for us, but we don't really know who to contact or when, and we also don't want to come off like crazy parents of a special snowflake. Would you look at the following letter to the principal and give any feedback you have?

Background: Our daughter would be one of the youngest in her grade. Our state has strict rules that make entry to K and 1st based entirely on age (you can red-shirt, but not advance.) She's currently reading easy readers/those basic chapter books with ease. When she's interested we do MEP and she's over 2/3s through 1st grade, but I have no idea how quickly we will progress because at this point I suggest but don't push at all. We don't want to put her into an educational situation where things will be way too easy because in our experience that leads to either boredom/disengagement or a feeling of "I'm the smartest; I don't need to work for anything," both of which have caused problems in our families of origin. 

 

Dear Principal, 

We live in the _______ attendance area and have a child who will be a Kindergartner next school year (2017-2018). We are currently considering educational options, particularly because she is likely to need some accommodations. We know it is pretty early at this point, but we would like to know who to contact and what would be a good date on which to contact them. 

Thank you,

Mother and Father of child

 

Should I mention potential giftedness in the letter or wait until we've been told who to contact? We haven't done any testing and I don't want to be "That mom," but I also want to give enough information that she can give us the appropriate help.

[Xahm]

Already editing myself. I think the term "differentiation" is more what I mean rather than "accommodation."

[EKS]

Just my two cents...

 

I wouldn't send the letter.  I think it will have the effect that you are trying to avoid, meaning that the school administration is going to think of you as the "crazy parents of a special snowflake." (A label, incidentally, that could follow you for the entire time you are at the school.)  Far better to wait, establish yourselves as completely sane, and then try to work with the school on differentiation.

 

Also, just some food for thought from someone who homeschooled two gifted kids who have also attended school...  In the early grades it is *very* easy for bright children to zoom through academic material, particularly in a homeschool setting.  Things are different in school.  There is a lot more to negotiate in a school setting that just isn't an issue when homeschooling.  Also, homeschooling parents naturally tend to scaffold their child's learning--much of the time, you probably aren't even aware that you are doing it.  

 

My point is that your daughter may find challenges in her kindergarten classroom even if she is not receiving any sort of differentiation.  She may not as well--and after seeing how things go for a month or two, you will be in a much stronger position to discuss options with her teacher than you would be if you were to have the same discussion before she is even enrolled.

[Xahm]

Just my two cents...

 

I wouldn't send the letter.  I think it will have the effect that you are trying to avoid, meaning that the school administration is going to think of you as the "crazy parents of a special snowflake." (A label, incidentally, that could follow you for the entire time you are at the school.)  Far better to wait, establish yourselves as completely sane, and then try to work with the school on differentiation.

 

Also, just some food for thought from someone who homeschooled two gifted kids who have also attended school...  In the early grades it is *very* easy for bright children to zoom through academic material, particularly in a homeschool setting.  Things are different in school.  There is a lot more to negotiate in a school setting that just isn't an issue when homeschooling.  Also, homeschooling parents naturally tend to scaffold their child's learning--much of the time, you probably aren't even aware that you are doing it.  

 

My point is that your daughter may find challenges in her kindergarten classroom even if she is not receiving any sort of differentiation.  She may not as well--and after seeing how things go for a month or two, you will be in a much stronger position to discuss options with her teacher than you would be if you were to have the same discussion before she is even enrolled.

Don't worry, I know that I couldn't just put her in a first grade classroom or anything at this point!

If we were sure we were going to send her to this school, we would likely not send this, but we are also strongly considering an immersion charter school, a local magnet school, and home school. The other schools have more detailed websites regarding timelines, academics, etc., but this school's website has a lot of dead links.  Ideologically, we want to give strong consideration to our neighborhood school, but it doesn't have a great reputation. Reputation isn't everything, though, which is why we want to contact them.  

 

 

ETA: My goal is to be able to, at some point before making a decision, meet with a teacher and maybe the gifted director (or whatever the title) to ask them honestly "In your opinion, should we enroll this child here, and what would her days look like if we did?" 

Edited October 18, 2016 by xahm

[HomeAgain]

Our plan was this:

 

If we put DS6 in school last year, we would have waited until after opening assessments and requested a meeting with the teacher to discuss results.  Every child is tested on basic literacy and math skills here so they have a benchmark at the beginning, middle, and end of year.  They *say* that differentation is possible, though that depends on the teacher, and gifted classes wouldn't even be a possibility until the following year (and moving schools for accommodation).  It would not do a darn thing to talk to the principal when the teacher would be the one working with him every day, and whether or not she would have been able to meet his needs at his level would have been difficult (strong reader at the time, but a non-writer, among other things).

 

I would suggest taking the school for what it is.  Let that factor into your decision.  Also, I'd say be open to giving your child an assessment at home for comparison sake - it will help you see what the teacher sees.

[Lecka]

I think if you want to meet with the gifted teacher, request that. 

 

I think when people are choosing schools, it is normal to ask to visit, take a tour, maybe talk to the principal or a certain teacher. 

 

Personally I would ask to go, take the tour, talk to the person, and then go from there. 

 

My understanding is this is normal when someone is looking for a house and choosing between school districts.  I think that is what would be assumed about you. 

 

I think you could get a lot of information without going into great detail at first.  If you meet the gifted teacher, it is easier to follow up with an email with more questions or specifics. 

 

I would not expect someone to tell you straight out "don't come here."  That is overstepping I think.  I think gather your information, but expect to decide for yourself. 

 

Just my opinion. 

[mathnerd]

My experience is that what they say is very different from what actually happens in the classroom. But, to answer your original question, do not send the letter, instead call your school district's office and talk or request an appointment with their Gifted Services co-ordinator to go over your daughter's case. If you have IQ test results already, take them with you to the meeting.

 

Most of the time, even the Principal is not aware of what options are available for gifted education. In my area, there is no funding for GATE programs and the teacher has a broad guideline for differentiation within the classroom and there are mixed grade classes where a gifted child will be placed. Your district's policies might be different.

 

Good luck.

[Xahm]

Take 2:

Dear Principal,

Our daughter will be a Kindergartner in the 2017-2018 school year. To help us to decide where to enroll her, we would like to meet with someone regarding the gifted program and possible differentiation. We know it is perhaps early to be having such meetings, but if you let us know who to contact and a good date to contact them, we would be grateful.

Thank you, 

Parents

[luuknam]

Our local PS does an open house for the parents of incoming K-ers in January, iirc.

 

What I'd do: call the school, ask if they do stuff like an open house, and if so, when it'd be. If not, ask if you could get a tour, talk to a K teacher, etc. Then, while talking to a K teacher in person, after talking about some generic stuff, ask about gifted program/differentiation stuff. I wouldn't bother with a letter, nor with the principal.

Edited October 18, 2016 by luuknam

[vonfirmath]

Don't worry, I know that I couldn't just put her in a first grade classroom or anything at this point!

If we were sure we were going to send her to this school, we would likely not send this, but we are also strongly considering an immersion charter school, a local magnet school, and home school. The other schools have more detailed websites regarding timelines, academics, etc., but this school's website has a lot of dead links.  Ideologically, we want to give strong consideration to our neighborhood school, but it doesn't have a great reputation. Reputation isn't everything, though, which is why we want to contact them.  

 

 

ETA: My goal is to be able to, at some point before making a decision, meet with a teacher and maybe the gifted director (or whatever the title) to ask them honestly "In your opinion, should we enroll this child here, and what would her days look like if we did?" 

 

I recommend checking the District website for a Gifted and Talented portion. THen you could set up a meeting with that director within the next year and see what your options are. Once you have more information, you would be better situated to know what questions you want to ask the local school.

 

My son started K in just the position you talk about. He ended up being designated Gifted and Talented during the year and this year, in 4th grade, was pulled out for a special accelerated program that is much more challenging than any of the classrooms have been, even with the best intentions and efforts of the teachers.

 

OTOH, they did differentiate work within the classroom for him (since he already knew how to add and had worked out the rudiments of multiplication, for example, his first grade teacher set up special puzzles for his group to figure out a word that added up to a certain value if the letters were worth pts based on their position in the alphabet. Etc. ) He generally had a harder level of book to read , also (though never up to the level of what he read outside of school -- but I discovered there was plenty for him to learn reading "too easy stuff").  I still would have homeschooled if it had been possible.

 

Also, at least at our school, there is not ONE "Gifted" teacher.  There are several teachers at each grade that are certified for gifted students (Ie been taught how to differentiate) and if your child is advanced they will be placed with one of those teachers. They try to keep gifted kids together but it does not always happen. And from year to year it can vary which of these teachers the gifted students are put with.

 

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by vonfirmath

[Arcadia]

No gifted funding.

We went to the open house the year before kindergarten registration and asked around. The teachers differentiate if they are willing , the local principals doesn't get involved. The school psychologist handles IEP. So if you have test results, the school psychologist might be the first stop.

 

I would not expect someone to tell you straight out "don't come here." That is overstepping I think. I think gather your information, but expect to decide for yourself.

We had administrators and teachers at two of our district's elementary schools tell us to homeschool or private school or move house instead. They will not say anything in writing because they don't want a lawsuit.

[RenaInTexas]

The schools here do tours. You just call the school and set up a tour which is given by the principal or vice principal. During the tour, ask about the gifted program and intervention programs (for struggling students). You ask about both bc you get to compare their response to both. Is he more excited to talk about one than the other? Does one program sound more developed than the other? This will give you an idea of where the $$$ lay.

 

Ask about the in-class differentiation that they are already doing. Don't ask what they would do, ask for examples of what they are already doing. This will give you a real idea of what is possible there.  And don't approach it from, my kid is gifted. Approach it from, in a class with 15+ kids, they are bound to be on different levels, how do you differentiate to be sure that all are learning. Again ask about the kids who are ahead and the ones behind so that you can hear which side of the coin is more developed.

 

On the tour, ask to see the gifted classroom --- if there isn't one, that gives you an idea of budget. Meet the gifted teacher. Is the program a pullout; how often; can you see the latest projects; how do kids qualify; when is the testing? Also ask to see other programs: music, computer lab, after school events, etc... Visit a few in-session classes, look at the work on the walls, look at the rigor of it -- they put the 'best' work on the wall. Try to get a feel for how much work is project based and how much is worksheets. Get an idea of how committed the school is to providing extended learning opportunities. Also, don't let them isolate you to K; tell them this is a long term decision and you want to see all the school has to offer for all grades.

 

Ask about homework load and policies. Also ask, about how they prepare the students for the state exams (if there are any). Be very interested. Ask when they start preparing for them. When do they start to do assessments to flag any students endanger of failing? Ask about test prep materials. See how far they go to teach the test. Be positive and interested like you are concerned that they properly prepare your kid to pass. You want to know where their focus is. If they act like the test is the center of the universe, you want to know it. 

 

Just don't go in there with the 'my kid is gifted, what can you do for her' mindset. They get that from so many parents. Many parents think their kids are especially smart and the schools hear from all of them! So they will immediately feed you the 'our school is great even for your gifted kid' script and send you about your merry way. Instead, go in there with the mindset that you want to find out as much about the school as possible; even the things that may not apply to your kid. You want to get the vibe of the school, its philosophy. If you go in there with that attitude, they will show you everything bc they won't be sure what 'sales pitch' you are looking for. If you ask for the gifted kid sales pitch, then that is what you will get and miss out on getting a true, holistic view of the school.

 

Edited October 18, 2016 by RenaInTexas

[wapiti]

I agree with the PPs.  I would NOT send a letter or email.  I'd try to find out about the school in person via a tour or open house.  I'd like to ask the K teacher specifically whether there are in-class ability groups for math and reading; there often are for reading but ability grouping for math at the K level is less common in a regular, neighborhood public school.  If there is ability grouping, try to discern whether it's just lip service or whether the group levels might suit your child's needs.

 

Check the school district website for gifted programming information.  Many, many schools do not offer gifted programming until the 3rd grade level, if then, and then it's often just a weekly pullout class - think about whether the offerings might meet your child's needs.  In some districts, the CogAT is given in 2nd or 3rd grade to identify gifted kids.  While whole grade acceleration might be possible, it is unlikely at the K level without private testing.

 

Also scout out alternative options, e.g. charters and whatnot.  Bottom line on the neighborhood school, ask around but don't hold your breath on actual differentiation.

 

IME, it may be more practical to have a mindset of "what are my child's needs and how can I get them met within what the school offers" rather than, as RenaInTexas said, "my child is likely gifted, what can you do for her."

Edited October 18, 2016 by wapiti

[Xahm]

Thanks so much! I think this is exactly what I need.

The schools here do tours. You just call the school and set up a tour which is given by the principal or vice principal. During the tour, ask about the gifted program and intervention programs (for struggling students). You ask about both bc you get to compare their response to both. Is he more excited to talk about one than the other? Does one program sound more developed than the other? This will give you an idea of where the $$$ lay.

 

Ask about the in-class differentiation that they are already doing. Don't ask what they would do, ask for examples of what they are already doing. This will give you a real idea of what is possible there. And don't approach it from, my kid is gifted. Approach it from, in a class with 15+ kids, they are bound to be on different levels, how do you differentiate to be sure that all are learning. Again ask about the kids who are ahead and the ones behind so that you can hear which side of the coin is more developed.

 

On the tour, ask to see the gifted classroom --- if there isn't one, that gives you an idea of budget. Meet the gifted teacher. Is the program a pullout; how often; can you see the latest projects; how do kids qualify; when is the testing? Also ask to see other programs: music, computer lab, after school events, etc... Visit a few in-session classes, look at the work on the walls, look at the rigor of it -- they put the 'best' work on the wall. Try to get a feel for how much work is project based and how much is worksheets. Get an idea of how committed the school is to providing extended learning opportunities. Also, don't let them isolate you to K; tell them this is a long term decision and you want to see all the school has to offer for all grades.

 

Ask about homework load and policies. Also ask, about how they prepare the students for the state exams (if there are any). Be very interested. Ask when they start preparing for them. When do they start to do assessments to flag any students endanger of failing? Ask about test prep materials. See how far they go to teach the test. Be positive and interested like you are concerned that they properly prepare your kid to pass. You want to know where their focus is. If they act like the test is the center of the universe, you want to know it.

 

Just don't go in there with the 'my kid is gifted, what can you do for her' mindset. They get that from so many parents. Many parents think their kids are especially smart and the schools hear from all of them! So they will immediately feed you the 'our school is great even for your gifted kid' script and send you about your merry way. Instead, go in there with the mindset that you want to find out as much about the school as possible; even the things that may not apply to your kid. You want to get the vibe of the school, its philosophy. If you go in there with that attitude, they will show you everything bc they won't be sure what 'sales pitch' you are looking for. If you ask for the gifted kid sales pitch, then that is what you will get and miss out on getting a true, holistic view of the school.

[Jackie]

I'll also mention talking to other parents in your area. Adults in our neighborhood who were familiar with my DD automatically assumed we would not be sending her to the public school across the street because it would have been such a poor fit. Because it is a "failing school", we had the option to enroll in any school in the district with space, so we asked around. The highest achieving school had parents who were very happy with the differentiation - but only if their children were working about a grade or two ahead, which wasn't us. Overall, local parents gave us far more useful information than the schools would have. They were able to supply specific details that the schools generally glossed over.

[Xahm]

I've been doing this some, but there's so much school choice around here, both public and private, that I haven't met anyone who sent their kids to this school in recent years. There was a big kerfuffle where many of the most active parents pulled their kids and started their own private school some years back, but there is new leadership now. If we can get her in the immersion school, that will be our best bet for something working, but it's a lottery with a long waiting list.

I'll also mention talking to other parents in your area. Adults in our neighborhood who were familiar with my DD automatically assumed we would not be sending her to the public school across the street because it would have been such a poor fit. Because it is a "failing school", we had the option to enroll in any school in the district with space, so we asked around. The highest achieving school had parents who were very happy with the differentiation - but only if their children were working about a grade or two ahead, which wasn't us. Overall, local parents gave us far more useful information than the schools would have. They were able to supply specific details that the schools generally glossed over.

[Nart]

Our daughter will be Kindergarten age next year and we want to give real consideration to local public schools, though we may decide to home school. We want to contact the local school and find out whether they could work for us...We don't want to put her into an educational situation where things will be way too easy because in our experience that leads to either boredom/disengagement or a feeling of "I'm the smartest; I don't need to work for anything...

What are the demographics of your neighborhood public school? Do most of the parents have at least college degrees? If so chances are other kids will be fluent readers in kindergarten. At the public school my kids go to almost all of the parents have at least a college degree and several kids came in to kindergarten reading. His kindergarten teacher assessed him at the beginning of K at the mid to end of second grade in reading. Even though he was a fluent reader and so were others in the class, most of the work was way too easy for them. The teacher concentrated on the lowest performing kids. It didn't lead to boredom for him because there were so many fun projects, he made new friends, sang songs, he worked on fine motor skills, etc. He learned a lot just being around bright kids with educated families. For example, he came home the first month of school asking if googol or googolplex was bigger and how many zeros they had because two classmates at his table were talking about it. I think his school could do so much more for the advanced kids but for accelerated kids who are working a couple of grades above grade level, it is tolerable (barely!) He is in the GATE program now but the district doesn't test students until the end of second grade and there isn't much funding so he wasn't identified until then.

If your neighborhood school isn't high performing, the school may tell you what you want to hear but in reality the school is going to concentrate on all the kids who are not meeting standards. And if your child is working 3 to 5 years above grade level, your child would probably best be served being homeschooled.

[Xahm]

This school is in a wealthy, educated neighborhood, but most residents send their kids to private schools. I think the tour as a previous poster described will help me suss things out. The immersion charter would be, besides having the challenge of a foreign language, made up of highly motivated, educated families. I expect there most Kindergartners would know how to read. I know the neighborhood school tests each year in the first month, then gives the 90th percentile and up the Cogat to decide on gifted services. I just don't know what type services that may be.

 

What are the demographics of your neighborhood public school? Do most of the parents have at least college degrees? If so chances are other kids will be fluent readers in kindergarten. At the public school my kids go to almost all of the parents have at least a college degree and several kids came in to kindergarten reading. His kindergarten teacher assessed him at the beginning of K at the mid to end of second grade in reading. Even though he was a fluent reader and so were others in the class, most of the work was way too easy for them. The teacher concentrated on the lowest performing kids. It didn't lead to boredom for him because there were so many fun projects, he made new friends, sang songs, he worked on fine motor skills, etc. He learned a lot just being around bright kids with educated families. For example, he came home the first month of school asking if googol or googolplex was bigger and how many zeros they had because two classmates at his table were talking about it. I think his school could do so much more for the advanced kids but for accelerated kids who are working a couple of grades above grade level, it is tolerable (barely!) He is in the GATE program now but the district doesn't test students until the end of second grade and there isn't much funding so he wasn't identified until then.

If your neighborhood school isn't high performing, the school may tell you what you want to hear but in reality the school is going to concentrate on all the kids who are not meeting standards. And if your child is working 3 to 5 years above grade level, your child would probably best be served being homeschooled.