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Desperately need help. Can I homeschool my daughter and if so, how?


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Hi,

 
I've lurked on the chat board for a few years after doing a web search trying to find spelling help for my daughter.  I found the chat board to be an interesting place so I read it every few days. But I work full time, do not homeschool and while I've always thought it's a nice option to have, had no real interest.  
 
Now I don't know what other option I have and need advice.  Here's the situation.  My dd is 16 yrs old and a junior at the local high school.  She's had an IEP and received special ed help since the end of 1st grade.  She's classified as OHI due to ADHD, Type 1 diabetes and Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis.  The first two issues were diagnosed at ages 5 and 7.  The arthritis diagnosis just happened early this year after a few years of her struggling with various symptoms.  In addition she's also being tested for Crohn's right now.  She has missed so much school the last couple of years and this year so far has been the worst.  She's missed all but maybe two days the last three weeks.  Homebound schooling isn't really an option as it only offers two hours a week of instruction and she'd need to be hospitalized or continuously too sick to attend school.  Some days she's fine, other days she's not.  It goes in spurts and usually never lasts more than a day or so at a time. The last few weeks were very odd and hopefully an exception.
 
Here's the thing.  Years ago they told us she had ADHD.  The test results also showed a low average IQ of 87. Testing via the school and independent showed very similar results and no sign of actual learning disabilities such as dyslexia etc.  But they didn't stress the IQ as much but more the ADHD and pushed meds.  Which we tried at least four or five and none ever worked.  So we quit. We also saw several psychiatrists all of which said the same thing.  We finally found one who said it's not ADHD or if it is, it's a combo of the ADHD and low average IQ.  DD was also treated for anxiety and depression.  Which are mostly under control though they flare up when her health acts up like it is now.  Anyway she struggled in school even with extra help, but around 4th grade she started being better able to sit and pay attention and she really improved.  Still struggled but much less.  Around the end of 7th grade though she stagnated and that's when she started feeling extremely fatigued etc but it took until she was a sophomore to get an actual diagnosis of JIA.  And everything has been a struggle since.  
 
She's missed so much school and doesn't even want to go anymore.  She also struggles socially too.  Again for a few years it was fine but as soon as her health nose dived, so did her social life. Nobody bullies her but she hasn't had any real close friends or a group since 8th grade.  Between this and missing so much school, I think it's time to consider homeschool or online school.  But I'm concerned because of the following.
 
1) I work, full time.  My job provides excellent health insurance that covers everything with little to no cost and her medications and supplies are among the most expensive drugs etc.  My husband is a contractor and we couldn't afford health insurance without my job. I also have an hour commute each way and no real skills to find a closer job.  I have a BA in history and work as a library tech.  So I'm pretty stuck here.  
 
2) I have no time between my job and taking care of dd's health to do a bunch of curriculum planning, grading etc. I'd need something where that's mostly taken care of.  In addition my math skills are abominable.  I failed every algebra class I ever took except the first year in high school and that was barely passed.  I can't remember how to do long division, let alone algebra 2. And math is of course dd's worst subject.  
 
So I need something where it's all online, dd can enroll now after the beginning of the year, offers remedial instruction, self paced, does the grading etc.  Also much prefer secular or at least not Abeka, Bob Jones etc or curriculum associated with those pushing a far right agenda.
 
We're in MI and I think the homeschool laws are pretty flexible but I feel so overwhelmed.  I keep hearing to try Michigan Connections, but they are no longer enrolling for grades 11-12 this year. And I know there are K12 options but I've heard those courses are pretty rigorous.  Any ideas?  I'm really desperate.  DD spent much of last week either in doctor appointments or in the hospital due to a medication reaction and then the steroids they gave to counter act that caused her to have other issues.  I'm at my wits end.  I'm in contact with the school and dd's caseload teacher is trying to look into options for school but I'm not sure what she will be able to suggest.
 
Sorry if this is rambling and doesn't make sense but I'm so tired, down and rushed at work and could really use some advice.  I hope this is posted in the right place.   
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There are several schools associated with universities that might work.  We did Texas Tech (TTUISD) for freshman year of high school.  If you don't fully enroll (issue a homeschool diploma rather than a diploma from them), you don't need to take the Texas state tests.  You will still need to find a proctor for final exams, though.  I know University Of Nebraska has a similar program, as well as a few for other states.

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Your work sounds like an excellent fit for homeschooling-with-working, especially as it provides the coverage needed for your DD's health issues. Being in a library provides an ideal space for your DD to work on her classes, and you can semi-supervise during your work day. Homeschoolers and libraries are a fantastic mix.

 

In addition, your DH, as a contractor, may have some flexibility due to the (occasionally) intermittent nature of that kind of work.

 

There are programs for people with the strength/needs profile you are discribing. Basically you want "online school" with no frills and plenty of flexibility. You are looking for competence-level education standards, good teaching, and interactivity (where the student can deal directly with a teacher for extra help).

 

That isn't the model of homeschooling I'm planning for, so, I don't have specific reccomendations -- just an awareness to assure you that such programs exist. I'm sure you will be able to find one and plug in. Good luck!

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I'm sorry that I don't have suggestions for online schools, but there are textbooks for struggling students that have simple worksheets and tests, and are easy to grade yourself. AGS Foundations series have a reading level of 3rd-4th grade and adapted content. The lessons are short and cover the basics without all the nitty-gritty details that students usually promptly forget anyway.

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:grouphug:  SO sad your DD is struggling with so many health issues!

 

Because DD has missed so much school due to health issues, there would be no problems in delaying her high school graduation by 1-2 years to catch up, and to allow her to get a really solid foundation. You might consider contacting Michigan Connections again, and ask to have DD enrolled as 10th grade rather than 11th grade so you can have the additional time for her to move more slowly through the courses as hospitalizations and health issues flare.

 

If that is not an option, or if Ondreeuh's other Michigan cyber school options don't pan out, here are a few others:

 

Time 4 Learning

- secular, all on-line, self-paced, grading done by tracking progress, sign-up/stop at any time, $30/month for 4 classes

 

American School of Correspondence

- secular, accredited, online option; a number of people on these boards have used them -- see these past threads for experiences:

American School -- is anyone currently using this for high school?

Starting American School of Correspondence in 11th?

American School online

 

Switched on Schoolhouse

- Christian (don't know how conservative -- from Alpha-Omega publications)

- computer-based courses (on CD-rom), self-paced, self-grading

- can order individual courses for about $90 per course, or can get a 5-course bundle for about $400

 

 

I know the main goal right now is to get DD healthy and into a workable method of doing high school, but what are DD's long-range goals? The reason it is important to think ahead a bit as you plan for high school is that if college is a future goal, you'll want to make sure to have DD take the kinds of courses in high school that are required for admission to college, and that will prepare her for doing college-level work (in other words, a quality online program). Also, when you homeschool, you need to become award of test dates and register your student for one of the national college-readiness tests (either an SAT or ACT test) at some point during 11th or 12th grade, as most colleges want to see one of these test scores for admission purposes as well as for awarding scholarships.

 

BEST of luck in deciding how to proceed with high school, and very best wishes for improved health for your DD! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited by Lori D.
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Hi,

 
I've lurked on the chat board for a few years after doing a web search trying to find spelling help for my daughter.  I found the chat board to be an interesting place so I read it every few days. But I work full time, do not homeschool and while I've always thought it's a nice option to have, had no real interest.  
 
Now I don't know what other option I have and need advice.  Here's the situation.  My dd is 16 yrs old and a junior at the local high school.  She's had an IEP and received special ed help since the end of 1st grade.  She's classified as OHI due to ADHD, Type 1 diabetes and Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis.  The first two issues were diagnosed at ages 5 and 7.  The arthritis diagnosis just happened early this year after a few years of her struggling with various symptoms.  In addition she's also being tested for Crohn's right now.  She has missed so much school the last couple of years and this year so far has been the worst.  She's missed all but maybe two days the last three weeks.  Homebound schooling isn't really an option as it only offers two hours a week of instruction and she'd need to be hospitalized or continuously too sick to attend school.  Some days she's fine, other days she's not.  It goes in spurts and usually never lasts more than a day or so at a time. The last few weeks were very odd and hopefully an exception.
 
Here's the thing.  Years ago they told us she had ADHD.  The test results also showed a low average IQ of 87. Testing via the school and independent showed very similar results and no sign of actual learning disabilities such as dyslexia etc.  But they didn't stress the IQ as much but more the ADHD and pushed meds.  Which we tried at least four or five and none ever worked.  So we quit. We also saw several psychiatrists all of which said the same thing.  We finally found one who said it's not ADHD or if it is, it's a combo of the ADHD and low average IQ.  DD was also treated for anxiety and depression.  Which are mostly under control though they flare up when her health acts up like it is now.  Anyway she struggled in school even with extra help, but around 4th grade she started being better able to sit and pay attention and she really improved.  Still struggled but much less.  Around the end of 7th grade though she stagnated and that's when she started feeling extremely fatigued etc but it took until she was a sophomore to get an actual diagnosis of JIA.  And everything has been a struggle since.  
 
She's missed so much school and doesn't even want to go anymore.  She also struggles socially too.  Again for a few years it was fine but as soon as her health nose dived, so did her social life. Nobody bullies her but she hasn't had any real close friends or a group since 8th grade.  Between this and missing so much school, I think it's time to consider homeschool or online school.  But I'm concerned because of the following.
 
1) I work, full time.  My job provides excellent health insurance that covers everything with little to no cost and her medications and supplies are among the most expensive drugs etc.  My husband is a contractor and we couldn't afford health insurance without my job. I also have an hour commute each way and no real skills to find a closer job.  I have a BA in history and work as a library tech.  So I'm pretty stuck here.  
 
2) I have no time between my job and taking care of dd's health to do a bunch of curriculum planning, grading etc. I'd need something where that's mostly taken care of.  In addition my math skills are abominable.  I failed every algebra class I ever took except the first year in high school and that was barely passed.  I can't remember how to do long division, let alone algebra 2. And math is of course dd's worst subject.  
 
So I need something where it's all online, dd can enroll now after the beginning of the year, offers remedial instruction, self paced, does the grading etc.  Also much prefer secular or at least not Abeka, Bob Jones etc or curriculum associated with those pushing a far right agenda.
 
We're in MI and I think the homeschool laws are pretty flexible but I feel so overwhelmed.  I keep hearing to try Michigan Connections, but they are no longer enrolling for grades 11-12 this year. And I know there are K12 options but I've heard those courses are pretty rigorous.  Any ideas?  I'm really desperate.  DD spent much of last week either in doctor appointments or in the hospital due to a medication reaction and then the steroids they gave to counter act that caused her to have other issues.  I'm at my wits end.  I'm in contact with the school and dd's caseload teacher is trying to look into options for school but I'm not sure what she will be able to suggest.
 
Sorry if this is rambling and doesn't make sense but I'm so tired, down and rushed at work and could really use some advice.  I hope this is posted in the right place.   

 

 

:grouphug:  I haven't read the other responses. I hope you do get plenty of good advice.

 

I'll tell you what I think may be the way to go (for now). I would, at least for another month or two, put consistent, polite pressure on the school caseworker. Firmly push the school to offer a workable solution for your situation. The school is required to provide options for educating your child. If Plan A isn't working, they must come up with Plan B, Plan C, or Plan D. I realize it isn't that easy, but I would really put my efforts into badgering the school to work it out. Otherwise, you will be turning your lives upside-down to provide what the schools are mandated to do -- educate your child, regardless of her special needs.

 

In your shoes, I wouldn't give up your job, because your family really needs those medical and prescription benefits. In the long run, it may be more important for your daughter to have that coverage than for her to finish high school. If you lose that medical coverage, you will have to think twice before every doctor's appointment, every prescription, every procedure or lab, and every hospitalization. IMO, that places enormous stress on a family, so if it can be avoided, it should be.

 

Honestly, I think her physical and emotional health are a much higher priority than her schooling. If in your state she could be "done," have you considered just pulling her out of school and being done with it? She has been dealing with so much for so long, perhaps she just needs a break?

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I agree with the previous poster who said that the school needs to figure out a way to do more.  I would set up a meeting and explain what your daughter's illness is really like.

 

Your daughter has a chronic autoimmune disease and it sounds like she is on immunosuppressants.  IMO, this should be enough to say that she is too sick to go to school.  It could be especially dangerous during cold/flu season.

 

Also, sitting in chairs for long periods of time can be painful.  I have RA and I have one chair that is comfortable.  (The computer chair, which is why I post a lot. ;)  )  I hate sitting in the dining room chairs or even on the sofa.  I need good ergonomics.  Something like this might be included in her IEP.

 

Also, if she is like me she fatigues easily and would have a hard time putting in a full day of school.

 

OP, if you need more info for a meeting with the school about her medical needs, let me know if you want more specifics about what living with RA might look like.

 

I hope that the school will work with you and that you find a good solution.

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I agree that the school has not offered you a complete solution and should be compelled to.  Also, as far as the suggestion to pull it out, it looks like your compulsory age laws are changing https://www.michigan.gov/documents/home_schools_122555_7.pdf

 

Personally, I think your challenge is having an IEP, or at least a game plan, that reflects a transition to workforce or long-term plans.  Our state REQUIRES that change to be in the IEP.  Is it in your dd's?  Have they updated the IEP?  Our schools do fresh evals every 3 years and only file reviews in-between.  So if your dd's IEP has just been pushed over a few years, I wouldn't begin the discussion of pulling her till you get that IEP updated.  Make a written request for a meeting and get that rolling.  Look in the NOLO book and see what protections the law gives you.  See what your MI dept of ed rules are.  

 

Ok, I'll just toss this out.  Sometimes low IQ plus behaviors = autism.  It would be one of those things you could consider as an explanation for why the ADHD meds didn't work.  It would be a scenario that could explain it.  She wouldn't be the first teen or teen girl to be diagnosed that late. I'm adding into that the social withdrawal/isolation.  That plus the IQ plus the behaviors can be a pattern.

 

That's a really challenging situation when her arthritis, etc. are making it physically uncomfortable to sit.  Are they well-managed?  

 

I definitely would be thinking long-term, where this is going.  The next year or two are going to go really fast.  How does she feel about the idea?  I'd be concerned about taking someone is who is already isolated and isolating her even further.  Sometimes secular homeschoolers have a hard time connecting with homeschool communities.  Have you found one yet to know she would have friends?  I think this matters!  Think about what you're taking away from her, by withdrawing.  

 

It looks like your state allows for homeschoolers to partially enroll in ps classes.  (see the link)  I think in a scenario like that you could consider enrolling her for vocational classes and having the school do stepped up homebound or just homeschool the core classes. But really, what a pain.  You're recreating what the school SHOULD have done.  

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Like OhElizabeth said, the school should add stuff about transitioning to the workforce into her IEP. I'm not too well-versed in the details, but she could get supports until she's 21 or so iirc. I don't know what the long term goal is, but that could be probably useful whether the goal is work or applying for disability. I'd read some of the articles on this page:

 

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/trans.index.htm

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I posted earlier, and I don't really have any more advice, but this situation has me provoked. I've been praying for you and your daughter (hope you don't mind). I sincerely hope that your family and your daughter find the help and pathway that you need.

 

Honestly? To me, it sounds as though the school's "solution" is to wait until you come up with one. Perhaps they are hoping you do pull your daughter out? Perhaps, if you were to pull her out to either homeschool or just be done, they would be glad to not have to resolve the dilemma? I don't know, since I'm not connected with the school system. But I have read about quite a few scenarios over the years where schools simply dragged their feet on finding solutions for children like your daughter -- kids with multiple things to work out -- and in the end, the parents in desperation pulled the children out, usually at great cost to themselves.

 

I have homeschooled my three girls from the beginning, and I can tell you, even at this level, it is hard work. I'm not saying it would be impossible for you to homeschool your daughter, but it certainly would be hard work. You would be starting from scratch, never having homeschooled before (I think?), with a high school student who has special needs, some anxiety and depression, and ongoing medical challenges. That is quite the hill to climb. On top of that, there would be the stressful reality of your family's need for the health insurance that your current employment provides, plus the loss of your income, plus the costs of homeschooling a high schooler.

 

The school needs to step up and implement something that works for your family (or at least help you into another resource that will be a better fit). I agree with others who have said that your daughter's plan needs to be updated to reflect the fact that she is now 16 (soon to transition into young adulthood), as well as the increasing complexity of her medical situation. Except for a few years in between 4th and 7th, apparently all of her school years have been a struggle for her.

 

I think there is more that the school can and ought to do for her. No, they can't take away her physical and intellectual challenges, but they should be able to accommodate her more than they are doing, or find a resource that can. Physically, what accomodations does the school make for her? Softer chairs? Cushions? Elevator, instead of stairs? Does her body need more rest than she is able get while on a school schedule? Or more regular opportunities to move and stretch?

 

What are the post-high school plans for this child? Will she transition to vocational training, a workshop, community college, employment, or something else? Do you believe she will live independently at some point, or will she always live at home? What skills will she need to do one or the other? What is the likelihood that she will be able, in the future, to hold down a full-time or part-time job? Do you have plans to get her on disability insurance? If not, how will she be provided for in the future?

 

I would make more noise at the school. Who there knows that you feel desparate? If that sense of "this isn't working" is only in your head, and no one there knows you feel that way, then it's unlikely anything will change. You may need to really pour it out to someone at the school (if you haven't), let them know how awful it is for your daughter, and how much you all need something to change. They are teachers and caseworkers, yes, but they are not mind readers. ;) Give them the benefit of the doubt, and be sure they know you are desparate! Also, you would not in the least bit be lying when you tell them, "I have to keep my job." You do, so that is the truth.

 

I would say that if you pressure the school to do more, and if they continue to fail you, then you may have to go "higher up," until you get some answers that actually work. At the same time, you may be able to recruit her health care team to advocate for you with the school. Let your daughter's doctor(s) know how truly desparate you are. What does her rheumatologist say should be her daily routine? Her physical therapist? Perhaps you could make the case that her ongoing treatment requires a more flexible daily routine, more rest, and time for physical therapy. That might tip the scale towards having a home-bound educator. Then, if that lines up, she might be able to rest more, perhaps go to work with you a day or two, and perhaps be home the other few days.

 

If all of that fails, perhaps someone at your local Arthritis Foundation could get involved to advocate for your daughter. HTH.

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She is already a Junior. i believe she must finish with MI requirements and schools.   Can the local school district provide Home Teachers or something for her, so that she can continue to be a student in the Public High School and receive a diploma from there? Can they allow her additional time to graduate from the high school she is currently enrolled in?  Although home schooling is a possible option and you could issue a Home School diploma to her, it does not sound like you are in a good position to do that.  IMO the Public School system is where she should stay and you should pressure them (this may require the help of an attorney or advocacy group) to provide the education  your DD needs and is entitled to.  You might also ask her doctor(s) if they have any other patients with similar problems and if so, what their educational system is.     GL to her!

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One way or another, with help of the school or otherwise, I think you should be focussing on how she can transition into some sort of work and life beyond school (job skills and life-skills programs--including that deal with her health issues and how to manage them), not trying to focus on whether to homeschool or keep her in school.

 

I don't think you should leave your job whatever approach you choose for your daughter.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I know K12 offers remedial math and language arts classes at the high school level. I had checked those out for my oldest. It is $$$, tohuhg but excellent. I would start with those enrolling part-time. 

 

time4learning also offers a high school track for a reasonable amount.

 

Another option to just get it over with is taking an online GED prep course and the test itself. Then she's done.

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Try "American School." It is not as rigorous but has a full diploma program. It might just fit exactly what you are looking for.  http://www.americanschoolofcorr.com

 I would NOT use them! Our experience with their materials, teacher support, and general customer service was awful. They were rude and most unhelpful. The materials pronduced by the school rank as some of the most badly written courses I have seen. Their math especially is the worst I've seen (having used over 20 maths, I can say this honestly). They are cheap for a reason.

 

How about keystone?

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