How to get it all done (or most of it)

[Earthmerlin]

Help, I need advice on how to get some regular after-schooling done! My daughter's in 2nd & we slimmed down her extra-curricular activities so that she's only playing Fall soccer for now. She's resisting the upcoming French Saturday school though, which is another issue I'll need to deal with. I made a promise to myself I'd get more done this year since I was too busy last year with returning to work. However, it turns out that I'm still too tired to 'get it done' so far this school year. It's that 'super mom' guilt I'm grappling with, ugh! She's super bright & I feel I need to cultivate that regularly at home but finding time & energy is preventing me from doing so. I know what I want to do & even have supplies but how do you actually motivate yourself to do it--after a long work day & when chores & dinner still need to be done? I kind of feel like a window's closing--that she's growing up too quickly. We definitely do family & educational things together but not like I have planned out in my head (so there's my perfectionist tendency to address as well). Any practical advice?

[SKL]

Let some things go.  Both in terms of afterschooling, and in terms of housekeeping.   (I know this is hard mentally, but it's necessary.)

 

Maybe you could set aside, say, 2 days a week when you afterschool, but you don't do the other chores.  Heat up something that's already cooked, or have pizza, and let the chores wait until the next day.

 

For me, doing things out of the house is easier than in the house.  Somehow being home makes us all lazy, I guess.  :P  So a trip to the museum, nature hike, or similar gives us more bang for the buck.  (Bonus if we listen to an audiobook in the car, since my kids claim reading in the car makes them carsick.)

 

I don't find that we get more done on days when we don't have a sport.  The exercise breaks up the day nicely.  Going from one sedentary activity to another is not so easy for us.

 

If your daughter likes to read, you can supplement a lot just by providing good books.

 

Maybe there are some online enrichment options that others could recommend.

[SKL]

I wouldn't worry about the French school - your daughter might love it.  My kids usually enjoy outside classes, because it's a change of scene, whether it's academic or not.  Having other learners in the same activity (compared to just you & your daughter) is helpful.

[displace]

Regarding French - I think it depends on your personal beliefs. DS doesn't love piano but for me, it's a mandatory subject. At least, formal music lessons.

 

I feel similarly regarding a foreign language but there are no convenient schools here.

 

As far as afterschooling, I do some in car rides (quizzing on spelling, math facts, audiobooks). Maybe you can find a car CD or tablet app to help review in the car? We also do a smudge before school starts (about 2 minutes of our necessary handwriting).

 

I have a chart of afterschool necessities for the week so DS understands - we do spelling, math, typing, piano, etc for X times in a week. The week starts on a Monday. If the afterschooling isn't done by the weekend we do more work to finish.

 

For me, personally, to get it done it either has to be a short review for quizzing, or an outsourced app or computer game, or maybe independent stuff. For example, I could teach piano but I outsource it because I can't come up with plans routinely.

Edited October 11, 2016 by displace

[Earthmerlin]

Thanks, ladies. I appreciate the advice & will consider all suggestions. Just verbalizing my 'freak out' moment actually helped--it re-surfaced periodically throughout the day, allowing me to mull over my concerns & acknowledge my accomplishments.

 

We are a trilingual family & French Saturday school is not new--we're a returning family. Although still young, as my daughter gets older she resists me more on certain things--French most loudly. To me it's non-negotiable & I'm in it for the long run but it's still a battle this tired mom doesn't want to face. C'est la vie...

 

We actually do lots of things throughout the average week. This week's full of soccer, play dates, scarecrow decorating, Girl Scouts, a pumpkin patch, & an art class at the art museum. We constantly listen to audio books & read aloud as well, but I consider such things part of normal 'family life'. It's those supplemental topics I have in mind--enrichment math, science, cooking, chess, etc.--that bog me down & make me feel guilty if I'm not addressing them regularly.

 

I truly like the idea of breaking things into smaller chunks, say 10-20" a few times per week. This is a prudent plan & I know from experience it's effective, manageable & promotes more feelings of 'mommy success'. It's just that 'run away train' moment (like earlier today) that has me temporarily spinning out, if you catch my drift. So I suppose I was mostly looking for moral support--virtual cheerleaders, if you will. After a few deep breaths & reading the responses, I feel quite better to start afresh tomorrow. Thanks!

[Have kids -- will travel]

I get you about the language. My five-year-old has one very long day thanks to extra language classes, but he genuinely likes it. If she's resisting, can you look into why? Is it a miserable class or is it just that she'd rather play? I agree totally about some things being "required" -- we also "require" music lessons -- but if we were getting serious pushback, I'd want to know why and possibly explore changing the lessons before battling every week for an extra curricular.

 

Here, we outsource. Both cooking/cleaning and afterschooling. I did more with the kids before going back to work. Life requires a bit of flexibility.

[Earthmerlin]

I get you about the language. My five-year-old has one very long day thanks to extra language classes, but he genuinely likes it. If she's resisting, can you look into why? Is it a miserable class or is it just that she'd rather play? I agree totally about some things being "required" -- we also "require" music lessons -- but if we were getting serious pushback, I'd want to know why and possibly explore changing the lessons before battling every week for an extra curricular.

 

Here, we outsource. Both cooking/cleaning and afterschooling. I did more with the kids before going back to work. Life requires a bit of flexibility.

Yes, we outsource too. However, the idea of in-sourcing at home was appealing because it involved less travel time & more flexibility as to when things got done. French class is fine & engaging. It's more a desire to play & stay home than anything else. Multilngualism is a top priority so I'm not sure what my next step will be. However, it'll encompass high levels of French in some form. Like I said before, verbalizing my concerns has helped me to focus more & make tangible plans. Edited October 12, 2016 by Earthmerlin

[tm919]

I made a promise to myself I'd get more done this year since I was too busy last year with returning to work. However, it turns out that I'm still too tired to 'get it done' so far this school year. It's that 'super mom' guilt I'm grappling with, ugh!

So, I'm not much help on the other pieces, but the thing that helps me is regarding afterschooling as a part-time job. I let everything else go when I'm "on-the-job" which means that the dishes are piled up in the sink and my house looks like it was hit by a natural disaster half the time. But I figure that if I don't stop my paid job to fold the laundry, I won't interrupt this. I have time slots allocated and during that time I'm 100% on even if dinner is something reheated that I cooked in advance.

Edited October 13, 2016 by tm919